| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 9/24/2006 7:08:38 PM | Sure you can have the trust thing, miss each other like crazy, see each other on weekends, run up your phone bill, chat till the wee mornings online..but nope, I don't think they work unless someone eventually moves, but whom? Who is gonna just up and change their life and take their children etc half way across the world..then if it doesn't work out, then what?
Any LTR needs to know right from the start if one is willing to relocate eventually cause if both aren't..then what? | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 9/24/2006 8:06:38 PM | | I agree with Jasmine Kai . It does work . But it takes a lot of work and patience .Long Distance Relationship is just like a marriage .Both have good times ,and bad times .But it depends on what the person is really looking for .The first couple of times together by Email ,just get to know eachother inside and out .The one's who are patient in a long Distance Relationship , may come out together .Their will be more and more feelings for eachother .But If a person cannot wait to see you , then that may turn out bad .True somebody will have to relocate , how will the other person feel If you did relocate together , and had big expectations together .Will both really want to be together , sharing the bills .Long Distance RELATIONSHIP yes does work I been through it , me and somebody else met online .We had everything going together , things look great , until it came at a point that we were going to relocate together . All the talk ,and INTERESTS ,were perfect. But we didn't see eye to eye on relocation , because she wanted me to pay her ticket on the plane .Nobody is worth that much. Even though things didn't end good , LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP still works . IT TAKES A LOT OF HOPE TOGETHER , NOT JUST SEX | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 9/24/2006 8:28:23 PM | Yes, I think long distance relationships can and do work out sometimes. Love is difficult enough to find in this world. And when you are lucky enough to find it then time, space or distance don't exist. Love has no boundaries, nor borders. People that limit their experience of finding love to be "within 25 miles...or even 100 miles" may lose out on finding someone right for them....it just could be someone who happens to be 3,000 miles away. 
Actually, make that more like 2,447 miles away... Hi hon 
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 9/24/2006 8:40:29 PM | Long distance relationships certainly could and do work if both people are mutually and sincerely invested in the connection and with seeing it through. As a result…this kind of relationship context would not be for everyone and anyone in this kind of situation should be aware of whether or not they are one of those individuals for whom it is least appropriate.
Communication has to be especially maximized here (since there's distance) as well as open and valued...so that relationship objectives, plans and desires are known and understood between both people involved.
I assume that a long distance relationship would most likely be of a committed and serious nature because most people would not bother with one if it was just for casual sex, fun or a short fling (no convenience)...so with that as a given, at some point it will be necessary for one person to move closer to the other or for both people to mutually make a move to be closer.
Honesty/loyalty, self-awareness, patience, planning (fiscally/spending time/moving eventually), maturity, direction, communication and trust...these elements must be present and integrated.
I also agree fully with dreamofjeanne007 | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 9/24/2006 8:59:59 PM | I think just by the definition of the relationship any long distance relationship has to have trust established and both being seirous enough about it from the get go. If it's easy or convenient, many tend to take for granted what they can get or have with minimal effort.
To commit to love someone, wait for someone and make lifelong plans is a much more serious commitment than someone who lives in your own city.
It tends to filter out the casual interest, the passing fancy, those who just want something to do to get out of the house....haha.
I remember when my sweetie and I got to that point, and laid the cards out. I'm thankful he did, and honestly it all made my heart race. I knew that when he came for a visit, he'd have to leave again and we wouldn't know exact times/dates when we'd see each other again. That we WOULD and make plans for a permanent situation.
As rapturous and glorious as our meeting and the time we spent together, when I dropped him off at the airport and left and got in my car to go back to work...I can't even describe it. That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, knew it would happen, tried to prepare for it. But knowing the separation is only for a time, and adjusting to that, after spending the most amazing week of my life ever with the most amazing man ever, having to leave him, get in my car and drive back to work.
It wasn't easy at all, but I knew it would happen and had to. Knowing that we are planning our future together and someday he will be here and never have to leave again. I will wait as long as it takes, do whatever it takes for that to happen.
I wish I could express in words how exquisitely wonderful our love is, if I could tell HOW I love this man!! It's a wonder, a daily miracle that every day I love him more. And something that I gratefully thank God every day for. | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 9/24/2006 11:04:26 PM | | Post number 55 is wonderful and encouraging. If only all women can be like her. Nothing like a good and loving romance. For it nullifies distance. And what a swipe at msg 56, ouch. Nothing like a good swipe. | |
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EB1
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Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 61 | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 9/25/2006 8:42:51 AM | Give it a shot. I am talking to someone in CA.. very sweet... I find that
if you are open and honest.... and he is considerate it will work...Have
Faith... I am becoming an optomist... | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 9/25/2006 9:12:54 AM |
I find that if you are open and honest.... and he is considerate it will work...Have Faith... I am becoming an optomist...
Was hesitant to post in this thread on this subject because of where the last one led, but this pretty much summed it up for me. Nice job Sentimental. Healthy optomism definitely has its perks.
Have fun ;)! | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 9/27/2006 11:18:35 PM | I have to agree on all counts with Asymptotic Faery - if it's genuine, if it's right, and if it's a person you can truly see yourself with and can't go a day without talking to, then it will work. It's definitely not for everyone - some people are looking for the here and now connection, not the deep down to the core type, and as a result a long distance relationship would be a grate on their personalities.
But without a doubt, communication is key, and it needs to be constant, complete and unrelenting. . . but then, odds are if you're willing to give a long distance relationship a try in the first place, it's most likely someone you can't get enough of to begin with and the distance will only seem like an annoyance rather than an obstacle. If everything is right, the distance can make the connection even stronger - you're not relying on your looks or how good you are in bed, or any of that peripheral stuff that, while necessary, should not be the sole cornerstone of a relationship.
Personally, my experience with a long-distance relationship has been incredible and while I wish I could be with my Asymptotic Faery in person, I know that it's right, it's genuine, and it will be all the more incredible when we're together in the flesh.
If it's the right person, the affects of distance fall away and all that's left is the connection and the goals, no different than any other relationship. Don't expect it to work - make it work. If it requires a bit more work then so be it. It will be worth it in the end, more than you could imagine. | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 12/4/2006 9:04:58 PM | what if you both agree you love and want to be together but then he's suddenly distant after not getting his own way of you moving or going to his home town? | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 12/4/2006 9:47:28 PM | | If_if_feels_right_do_it._There_isnt_anything_to_loose...only_to_gain._It_takes_work_if_he_is_worth_it....you_will_do_what_you_can_to_make_it_thrive | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 12/4/2006 10:35:29 PM | They can work im in one now, started sorta the same as yours except we meet online, we talked and text everyday, yes they can work but after a while one needs to relocate, the hard thing about long distance is that you cant see how things workout seeing each other on a reguler basis.
This does come as a downer, eg :people in a normal distance relationship might see each other several times thru the week, and over the weekend and then the next weekend he might have a fishing trip with his mates so she will do something with her friends and they have a break from each other for a few days, and a break once or twice thru the week, and during these breaks they dont really talk or text much.
But in a long distance relationship regualar or daily communication is an essential part of the relationship. | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 70 | |
| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 12/4/2006 10:44:16 PM | sure anything "can" work, but it's pretty doubtful. the odds are against it,
However, if you have 2 mature people who are pretty independent and have some sort of plan to make it a local relationship with a time frame in mind, then i think the chances of success would increase.
2 jealous, needy, clingy people who see the long distance as a permanent factor don't stand a snowball's chance in he11 of making it work.
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 12/5/2006 3:06:41 AM | Hmmmm .... okay. I don't think they work at all. Been there done that. I had scheduling meetings, getaways, talking on the phone and trying to sustain a relationship by email or IM. My theory = a man's gotta be around for me to truly get to know them...
I'm sure for some people it works wonderfully. However, not with me.  | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 12/5/2006 7:58:05 AM | I hope so! Cuz I've met someone very special who lives 3.5 hours away! 
I agree with the posters who have said it depends on how often you can see each other, how committed you both are and whether one is willing to relocate.
Personally I think just HOW far away you are is pretty important.. unless you're filthy rich and can fly there to see them every week.
I have a friend who dated her (now) hubby for 2 years while she was 2 hours away. It worked out beautifully! They are happily married and living here in Ottawa! | |
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hamm3r
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Joined: 12/1/2006
Msg: 74 | |
| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 12/5/2006 8:35:21 AM | | I did it for two years, too much emotion, too painful, and you BOTH have to be commiteed to it. One of us wasn't so therefore it fell apart pretty quickly. | |
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