| can we change somebody
Posted: 11/23/2007 9:29:54 AM | | ^^^^ Gary, terrific (in the true sense of the word, the root "terrified") story. I sincerely hope your ex is getting the treatment she needs. Sometimes the stories of others, such as yourself, cause me to count my blessings. I know it sounds corny, but may peace and happiness be with you for the remainder of your years, bro. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 11/23/2007 12:35:48 PM | | I'm only open to improvement not "change". Thats my two sense. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 11/23/2007 1:03:30 PM | I say yes. Of course you can change people. We are a pretty dynamic species after all. It's how you go about changing someone that makes it or breaks it.
If you force, you will likely see only failure. If you persuade, your chances for success are much higher. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 11/23/2007 1:05:22 PM | | if they can change the england manager are any of us safe? | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 11/23/2007 6:06:24 PM | No u can ask and if u guy's really dig each other u won't get drumped cos if i was in a relationship with a women and she did'nt like something i was doing i would try to change it to be with her
but hell thats just me | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 12/17/2007 1:50:01 PM | I feel that if your trying to change someone you shouldnt b with them. You should want them like them for who they are.
After all i wouldnt expect someone to b with me if they didnt like certain things about me. Accept me for who i am and what i am.  | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 12/17/2007 4:13:30 PM | | We never have the right to ask or expect someone to change. However, history and science reveals that when we change ... others magically change. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 12/17/2007 8:17:37 PM | Depends on what you would like to change and why. I used to date a woman who went to the bathroom with the door open, I said it bothered me and she was happy to change that. I have a son and she said it bothered her that I spent so much time with him and she wanted me to cut my 3 days a week down to one. I told her that she could start peeing with the door open again, because we where no longer dating.
Brian | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 12/17/2007 8:34:04 PM | | Bad habits can change if someone truly wants to change them or wants to keep the relationship enough to work on changing them....on the flip side...People dont change..we are who we are..who we were raised to be....that wont change. Incidently if you have to "change" someone what are you doing with them in the first place?? | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 12/17/2007 8:55:11 PM | | If you like that person, why do you want to change him? Whats wrong with allowing him and you to evolve naturally? | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 12/18/2007 2:16:32 PM | Wow Op, I had many thoughts run through my mind but then I seen your profile and your young yet... That in itself is not a bad thing, just got alot of ground to cover in the relationship dept.. One day you wont ask this question, you will realize if the man standing in front of you is the man you want to be with, you will accept the little qwerks about him. On the other hand, if those qwerks are more then you can bear... Ya gotta hit the road.. I bet you understand all this already though...
My thoughts.. Never ever ever ever go into a relationship with the hopes of changing anything about someone else.. If they arent what you can accept on a daily basis.. MOVE ON | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 12/19/2007 1:31:20 PM | | My answer is NO! I say this because If they love and respect you and your thoughts and how you feel, you don't have to change him/her they'll do it on their own. Don't for get... "A true change is the change that one makes themselves"! | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 12/31/2007 5:02:32 PM | | Naw, you can't change someone else, only how you deal with them. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 1/16/2008 8:22:00 AM | no, you cannot change someone. they have to want to change, and not just because you ask for it. people can be creatures of habit and change is difficult. you can ask for a change and it doesn't mean you will get it. If someone truly cares for you they will a) listen b) consider your request c) make some compromise so that both can be happy
it all depends what the change is and if it's unreasonable demands thre is no reason to change ... the question has to be put back into the hands of the one wanting the change, why and is this the real issue. sometimes we expect others to do or be things we are not able to do or give ourself. discussion about what the desired outcome is productive however asking someone to change who they are is selfish. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 1/16/2008 3:14:44 PM | I had a girlfriend once who all of a sudden gave me this huge list of things she didn't like about me. My friends. The places I'd hang out. The fact that I smoke when I'm out drinking with friends (she did too). The fact that I drink (she did too). I wasn't religious (she was). These were all major issues for her and she flat out asked me, "when are you going to change these things for me?"
The day after, we broke up.
There's a difference between compromising, taking a person for who they are, suggesting change, and flat out telling them to change things about his/herself just because you don't like it. Someone should want to change something about him/herself, you can't just mold people like a ball of play-doh. Put yourself in that person's shoes and imagine if they came to you and told you some really personal aspect about you and how he wants you to change it because he doesn't like it. Imagine your reaction.
Also, I guess it depends on why you want them to change. If its something you see as life-threatening, like a heroin habit or he's involved in some gang, that'd be different. But then again, why would you be hanging out with someone like that in the first place? | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 1/16/2008 3:43:45 PM | You know......we fall in love, lust, like....whatever.....with the "person" and then ..... suddenly feel a need to change them? Pfffft. Never made a whole lot of sense to me. I remember I was married, very, very young.....before we got married....he fell in love with crazy, a little too much energy, sometimes wears stuff you can see through (lol), zany, make up wearin' Beth..... and then we got married....suddenly, no more make up, can't wear that shirt, and he would make up shit to be angry about..... (I was too happy, too many people liked me, lol....seriously, um......I had too many friends....retarded crap like that....the list is long)
My mom showed me two pictures of myself, taken less than a year apart from one another.....one was vibrant.....the other I just looked sad (looked like sisters in the pic....not the same person)...... all to change myself so that he would continue to love me (maybe).....definitely because he thought changing me was the thing to do.
If I can't dig you for you...... and if you can't dig me for me...... then what the hell is the point? | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 1/16/2008 4:53:57 PM | you can never change somebody not unless they want to change, believe me i talk from experience...your best to move on and get another fishy that you wholly like lol... | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 1/17/2008 6:23:09 AM | | I don't think that we can really change someone's behavior, unless they really want to change it. My guy does a lot of things that make me crazy... some things I'll tolerate, some I won't... and he knows that. He has made some improvements, though.. such as calling when he's going to be late, etc. I have found that with positive reinforcement (thanks for doing that) I get better results. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 10:22:03 AM | | i believe u can change some one all u need is a lil but of make up or may a make over a change of attitude and a lil bit of there own flashy style and there u go they woyld be oh soo jazzy | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 10:31:02 AM | | Finally, after too much wasted time, tears, and lost opportunities, I realize you can't change someone. You can try, and they may even change for a little while. However, unless they really want the change, you are just spinning your wheels. What's worse is that while you are wasting your time trying to change them, you are misisng other opportunities that you may never get back. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 10:48:06 AM | | if a guy see's you as worth the while,he'll change,the problem is if theres something about him you dont like about a man,and he changes.youll find something else about him and itll carry on till your a barbie and ken couple.more or less programmed to how you want him,rather than how he was when you met him | |
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