| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 11:07:12 AM | | The only two things certain: you can only change your self and you can only truly control your reaction to the other person. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 11:09:13 AM | | My ex use to say "I am who I am, don't try & change me" I figured if people want to change, they would do it themselves. Of course it doesn't hurt to ask. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 11:11:32 AM |
People dont change..we are who we are..who we were raised to be
This person has changed. Dramatically. Noticeably. It took concious work. It took digging into the "who 'I' was raised to be" and seeing the fallacies of my initially rearing. It took persistence. But, I have changed who I am. I have many friends who have also walked this path of metamorphisis and transformation. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 11:13:46 AM | | OP it is entirely too much to ask someone to change for you. If you don't like them the way they are then find someone else. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 11:29:43 AM | | it depends on what it is, send me a message and i will answer | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 11:35:05 AM | The short answer is no! I don't feel like doing the long right now. Suffice it to say that if you can't accept the guy as he is and you don't know the techniques of behavior modification, then he'll be highly pissed at you. If some aspect of his behavior is something you can't live with, then you had better get your walking papers!
The Eagle | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 11:37:00 AM | | depends if he's willing to change himself for you? you can convince him to change but it's completely up to him. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 11:41:10 AM | | No, we can't. People can make changes if they think they need to, but it has to be a change THEY want to make for themselves, not something they are doing to please someone else. Keep in mind, though, that you aren't perfect either, and you have "flaws" that someone else will have to accept if you're going to make a relationship work. If you can't accept what YOU perceive to be "wrong" with them, you're not doing them any favors by trying to change them into someone else. That's just going to make both of you unhappy. Find someone who's more suited to you and let them find someone for whom their imperfections aren't such a problem. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 12:15:28 PM | I'm reminded of an old joke:
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one,l but the light bulb has to really, really want to change! lol | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 12:45:26 PM | ok, look at yourself first, and you will find the answer.
Lets say...."K, I dont like your curly hair, straighten it or I am out of here." "I think you should always wear low cut show off the juggs shirts", or, "hey, its time you whiten them teeth"....how would that make you feel. You know, we are all not perfect. God made us how we are, and you should accept that. I think if you try and change anyone, and they dont want to change, the next change will be you right out the door. Talk about hurt, because you are rather attractive.
Huggs, Dave | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 12:48:14 PM | | if you are not into accepting someone for who they are...including their "negative" aspects, why be with them? Isn't loving the whole person what love is??? and I'm not talking about "he leaves his laundry on the floor", but the traits that really matter in a relationship. So many people look to change the other they are with...makes no sense to me. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 1:39:51 PM | Every relationship goes through change.
As it grows we communicate and get rid of things that bother or offend us.
No one is perfect, especially relationships at first.
It's a process and if he can't accept that it may be best if he left.
If you don't make the effort you will be awful unhappy in the future because what you don't like, or offends you, that you live with quietly minimizes you.
Just be careful that you don't try to change something unique that made the person appealing to you in the first place. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 1:45:16 PM | | as they say you love someone faults and all but if its something small then maybe as everyone should allow for compromise in a relationship | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 1:57:21 PM | The only person you can truly change is your self, and you can never truly change others. Would you want to change someone anyway. If you could change them I sure you would not want some one that weak willed.
Work on yourself if you want them to compromise. If they dont I am sure someone else will like the new and improved you.
"...Grant me the serenity to accept the things I CAN NOT CHANGE, The strength to change the things I CAN, andthe wisdome to know the DIFFERENCE!" | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 2:07:50 PM | HOW True! Be who you are and accept others as they are. If you are looking to "change" someone - your already settling for less than what you truly desire........
There are small adjustments each person makes within a relationship. However, it is an adjustment made by choice not by being pushed or bullied or threatened........... | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 2/17/2008 2:43:09 PM | | Sometimes we fall for a mans potential, instead of who he is.We cant make someone change or love us.Its their choice entirely.We must live in the now.Accept people as they are or leave if things don't change. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 3/3/2008 9:54:17 AM | | no unless that person wants to change then it may be possible but we normally cant | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 3/3/2008 10:00:59 AM | No, at least I can't. Most people who want to change people end up being frustrated!
you can influence him to change, but change has to be initiated by himself if the change is to last. Some guys would do it to please you but it is temporary... how much can you stretch an elastic band before it breaks? | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 3/3/2008 12:05:46 PM | | no one has the right to "change" anyone. Isnt that manuplation? and havent we learned that is a bad thing? You can either deal with issues or not. Dont try to make someone into your perfect person. Its not going to happen. Albeit, some things are hard to deal with. Nothing worse than getting up in the dark to use the bathroom, and someone has left the seat up and you "drop" that extra bit, and its maybe wet. This would be me, cause I'm not used to a man in my bathroom. Some things are common courtesies. Some are lack of respect. Some are not worth worrying over, others are deal breakers. I dont like to be forced to change for anyone. whether it is smoking, working out, my snooze alarm, my chosen career, how I raise my children, my car choice. The list can go on and on. They just make up ME. There is always communication. If you cant stand that he parties with his buddies, and he doesnt see it your way, get out of it. If he leaves his clothes all over, and refuses to pick up after himself, either toss them out on the porch, put them up yourself, or get out of it. | |
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| can we change somebody
Posted: 3/3/2008 5:22:41 PM | | too many people are looking for a custom fit in an off the rack world. i just take people as they are. i wouldn't expect you to change for me and i would hope for the same from you. | |
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