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Joy.
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Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 27 | |
| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/21/2006 10:51:47 PM | Could it possibly be an odor issue? I'm not saying you stink or anything but some guys are just not into that natural p*ssy smell. You want might to sweeten it up a bit.
That or tie him to the bed and just sit on his face until he gives in. | |
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| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/21/2006 11:01:12 PM | I dunno how to give you an awnser on this one (insert dumbfounded smilie)
There is an upside though you don't have to worry about him cheating on you | |
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Juda25
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Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 29 | |
| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/22/2006 2:45:43 AM | If you're looking for some actual advise let me recomend something. DONT dump him for this that's stupid. Dont hold out or punish him for it cause it sounds like he actually may have a problem with it. and is most likely just not being selfish. Sometimes guys can get really worried about pleasing their partner. It's a lot of stress to know you're being judged on how you "perform". That's one thing i can think of. Another is, A lot of people are under the assumption that the Genitals are dirty (in the unclean sence) which makes them detest the idea of oral sex. Vagina's can be a lil intimidating too. They are inside of you (as opposed to the male genetalia) And you women secrete some interesting stuff from that cave of wonder. As i saw in annother post. Communication is key. Try to find out what it is that bugs hiim about it. Then adress the issue from there. If it is that he's just being lazy and doesn't wanna help you out. then kick his ass and whup him into shape.. but if he has like psychological problem with it find out and deal with that. just keep communication going.. and make sure when he does touch you.. maybe exagerate your reaction to show him just how good it feels.
Juda. eace | |
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| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/22/2006 3:32:34 AM | i skimmed this...so maybe i missed it...but what about the obvious?
is he gay? i don't mean it as an insult, but maybe he's just really closeted. | |
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allh2h
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Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 31 | |
| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/22/2006 4:48:30 AM |
Sex and sexual endeavors is a two way street. If he doesn't "flick or lick the bean" then don't do him any favors. He will soon realize what is going on and start being a little more compassionate towards your needs.
They do not always do that...been there done that. It was "too much work for him" (to do anything other then use me like a whore) so he went somewhere else. It is not always that cut and dried... | |
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| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/22/2006 10:06:06 AM | If you wanna get your dog to take his pill don't you dip it in peanut butter ?
Try putting some chocolate syrup down there and see if that doesn't get him started. | |
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| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/22/2006 11:50:52 AM | 1st: get him to tell you the reason! 2nd:You need to make sure there is no reason.. (message #27) If you know what I mean.
Some men don't really learn to love to please a women orally until they are older..
Personally I have never had this problem. Have to drag them away from that area. lol | |
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| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/22/2006 12:05:34 PM | Sorry but this reminds me of when I was a kid and I saw my first picture of one. It scared me. It didn't fit the personna that I had about women or girls. It was like wearing football gear in a baseball game. It just didn't add up. It was wierd looking. 
Maybe someone gave him a peak when he was a kid and it shocked him so bad that he is damged. | |
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| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/22/2006 12:20:22 PM | | I couldn't imagine staying with a guy like that. Life is too short. You should've stayed apart after all those years. Looking for a woman isn't the answer..unless you really WANT a woman. You and he are not on the same page on this important subject, and that is a sucky way to have to live your life. | |
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| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/23/2006 10:09:29 AM | lmao....just for my own benefit I'm going to try to summarize this posting.
He's not paying any attention to your vagina because he's:
turned off by the sight
turned off by the smell
turned off by the feel of it on his hands
experienced some sort of trauma early in his life
gay
angry at you
angry at all women
stressed
finding it dirty
lazy
worried
intimidated
offended by the smell (repeat i know)
selfish
turned off 'cause u are bi
not trained right
not really your soulmate
just not into it
getting everything he wants already so why work harder (also see selfish)
Wow...that's alot of advice for you OP. Hopefully the answer is in there somewhere. A few did mention probably the best and most obvious advice...it's time to open a bottle of wine, take his hand, look him in the eye, tell him you love him, care for him, want to be the best you can for him, and that you really believe in him and your relationship. Be aware of your body language, your tone, your expression, and of the words you chose to use. This is obviously a sore point and perhaps he feels inadequate to some degree, especially if you've sent him the link to this thread. Tell him your feelings and try to not start any sentences with the word "you" as this will put him on the defensive. Tell him how YOU feel, what YOUR needs are, where YOU want things to go, and how YOU want things to be. Then let him talk about him. Set goals, be firm in your convictions, make both of you accountable to the things you agree upon.
I'm not saying anything new here I don't think, maybe just expanding on some other previous intelligent postings. Good luck on this, if you are successful I think you will find these methods are very effective in every other aspect of your relationship. | |
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| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/23/2006 12:23:11 PM | | Sadly, you are not alone. I have a friend whose boyfriend feels the same way about her vagina, and won't even have intercourse with her without a condom, even though pregnancy is not an issue. I find it inconceivable that a straight man would not want to be on intimate terms with his woman's body, especially that most sensual and sensitive, but it happens. | |
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| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/23/2006 4:44:05 PM | Sadly, you are not alone. I have a friend whose boyfriend feels the same way about her vagina, and won't even have intercourse with her without a condom, even though pregnancy is not an issue. I find it inconceivable that a straight man would not want to be on intimate terms with his woman's body, especially that most sensual and sensitive, but it happens.
God another guy pretending to be straight.
How many other men out there are doing this to their women? Get out of the closet guys and give your woman to straight men who would worship their pu$$y's.
I still find this mind boggling.
CRAZY
Especially the women who stay with these kind of men. Why? | |
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| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/23/2006 4:47:19 PM | | OP, there are some men who love doing anything and everything to a woman's vagina, and then there are some who simply don't enjoy having their face down there...no matter how sweet you make it smell. But if he even has a hard time using his hand/fingers/vibrator there, then he has some major issues...or else he's just completely selfish, and considering you said he's getting everything, maybe the latter is the problem. I don't think holding back from doing things to him is the answer; that smacks of game playing. But you do need to discuss this with him and find out why he has such an aversion. You said you've talked to him about it, but not what his answers were, so try again. If he seriously can't face using his tongue there, then maybe you two can come up with a compromise using his hand/fingers/vibrator better. But if it turns out that he's actually being selfish, or won't compromise, then you have to figure out if you want to stay with him, because while sex isn't the most improtant thing in a relationship, it *is* important. And finding attention from someone else isn't the answer. | |
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| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/24/2006 11:50:06 AM | | What I meant was message 27 was hilarious. Not her problem. I feel bad for her. But I know if it were the other way around it would be very difficult to spend the rest of my life with that person and never be sexually satisfied. That's what she's looking at. | |
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allh2h
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Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 45 | |
| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/24/2006 12:10:23 PM | Add on to message 41 if she doesn't mind 
If it is selfishness then it will not stop here. It will eventaully filter into the rest of your life as time goes on and believe me, from experience...you dont' wnat that.
And an unsatisfied sex life....vibrators DO NOT cut it when you have a man there should be doing the job...ya know? Trust me, been there done that-his issue was selfishness.
Goodluck | |
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| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/24/2006 12:27:54 PM | MAYBE the fact that HE gets whatever he wants and you never say NO....he's saying no to you ...try it yourself....see what happens.......some humans are just selfish by nature...you gota get him to see it your way....cut off the extras.....;) when he starts asking why...reverse the question to him.....''why'' | |
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| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/24/2006 6:09:19 PM | | allh2h...no, I don't mind at all...and especially so when what you said is so very true. Selfishness in one are will definitely spread out into others and that's not something anyone should have happen to them. And nope, vibrators or someone one doesn't care for and who doesn't care for them simply doesn't cut it. There are no substitutions for having the whole experience - which includes having it with the one you care for and who cares the same for you. | |
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| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/29/2006 8:07:35 AM | | OP: Send your vagina to me through mail and I will give it full attention. Just kidding. lol. Oh. I just checked and we live in the same city. hahaha. | |
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| Somebody clarify vagina-phobia for me
Posted: 6/29/2006 9:03:46 AM | ...my 2 cents.
I always go south on women...with the exception of my last girlfriend. She and I dated for about 2 years, but she has odor problems...this was a major factor in my breaking up with her. I never discussed this with her either... | |
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(posted with his permission)