| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 2/26/2005 6:26:10 AM | Kora...hm...traveling to meet male friends? If that's the case, most men might expect the trip to be worth it to them, if you decide to see them again. But it's kinda pointless to make friends, at least CLOSE friends by coming into a city, have a guy like you, then leaving.
Some guys, well, expect to meet at your hotel room during your travels, and get down. lol. | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 2/26/2005 1:58:37 PM | Hi,
I'm a little torn on this, because I like the idea of getting to know someone well, and then meeting them.
But on the other hand, there is something to be said for feeling like you aren't wasting your time.
BTW, good to see another person from Kentucky here.
Thanks for reading. | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 2/26/2005 2:15:27 PM | | Depends upon your purpose for being on this site. For me, it's just friends and e-mail. Because of that, I'm not in any hurry to meet face-to-face with anyone. There's always the possibility,however, that I'll want to meet someone right away because we hit it off on the emails and chats. In that case, it depends upon how things come together. | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 2/26/2005 8:05:22 PM | RonSanLeandro
it just strange that people wonder why your on the site for friends when there is clearly a selection for that....& for me I travel so much it would be great to catch up with locals to get to know....Id like to meet some of the guys fr: the site but worried that they don't get the concept of 'friends' so very reluctant to meet
I was hoping to get some women emailing me....but that just doesn't work, I guess even with the other options, this is a dating site!....I guess I better stick to forums? | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 2/27/2005 5:50:17 AM | Brown00:
I am at a wonder, if you're a single and available woman...why just keep it as friends? Had this been a site where you pay 20 bucks a month, of course they'd be expecting more.
Granted though you're traveling long distances there would be no way possible for you to maintain.
Alot of women, I have noticed, throw out this "Going out 'as friends'" are doing this lately. I don't know why, but if you're single and unattached, why not? Men sometimes don't buy the fact that you're looking for friends or just plain hoping that these "Friendships" will turn into more.
Some wind up hurt, sexually frustrated, or what-not.
Of course, you could always opt for the "F-buddy" or "Bed Buddy" as an option, but that could open a can up of emotional worms.
Men, as any normal human being, are only human,and do desire female companion by human nature...to deny this, would deny our humanity.
I mean, think about it...a men winds up meeting up with this Beautiful woman from Australia, well, he's going to, (if not sooner or later) expect "something" sooner or later..that is, unless of course, he's gay. LOL
I have a tendency, currently, to start making "Passes" at female friends that I have some sort of "Interest" in. It tyipcally scares them, and I have to say, it's kind of amusing to FLIRT, or Make a move on a female friend, kinda weeds them out....if they end the friendship as a result, then so be it.
Some men just are in "Disbelief" when a woman says she only wants to be friends, and kind of lingers around, hoping to eventually get a good night "Big Red gum" kiss. lol | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 2/27/2005 8:08:07 AM | | too soon to meet? um...BEFORE she leaves the house? lmao...okay, okay...bad girl!!!! just kidding...it's always too soon if he is still talking about how much he hates his ex | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 2/27/2005 10:15:03 AM | I think meeting after two or three good, long conversations on the phone is fine.
I also think men and women can be just friends and nothing more. Why not? I don't think its true that every guy wants to bump uglies with every woman he meets just because of human nature. And if a guy does think that way then he needs to learn to control himself. | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 2/27/2005 10:41:17 AM | MD....its more than just bumpin uglies, Im not just into getting booty.
I am talking intimacy here. Wanting to get close, someone to snuggle with, to have a girlfriend.
Eventually, most guys who spend a certain amount of time with a certain lady friend, chances are he's with her because he eventually wants something more of it.
Thats why I try to maintian my distance away from female friends, I prefer trocall them Female "Acquantences'
I don't want to get hurt, I'm currently going through a situation that I find frustrating, becuase I have a female friend that's being a tease with me. | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 2/27/2005 10:58:05 AM | | ASAP is when you should meet. I say this because you need to meet that person and see what they are like. The longer you wait, the longer your mind has to develop the fantasy or image of what you want that person to be. | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 2/27/2005 11:38:37 AM | Vandelai,
Sucks to be teased, but then again, maybe she's teasing because there is some mutual attraction. Maybe some women just can't be friends with guys either. I'm sure it works both ways.
Two of my best friends are women. And there is absolutely no desire, nor was there ever, for our relationship to be anything more than friends.
My experience has been that its better to start off as friends (or acquaintances, whatever you want to call them) only. | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 2/27/2005 3:48:30 PM | mdbiker
you re-new my ideas on the possibility of men & women just being friends...ive chatted to alot of great people on this site(men & women) and have recently broken up fr:a long relationship...the last thing on my mind is int encounter/or dating! So its not impossible? | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 2/28/2005 12:44:58 AM | In the past, I have spent many hours talking, e-mailing and instant messaging with
someone. When we met, we did not care so much for each other.
I think this internet dating stuff is great, but only as an initial contact. Meeting each other in person to see if that special chemistry exists, is best done sooner than later. I prefer to meet somewhere of the ladies choosing where she is comfortable and casual, without any major expectations other than an enjoyable conversation and perhaps a meal or beverage.
We can talk and just see if we like each other. I always want her to feel safe so I like her to choose where and when we meet. | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 2/28/2005 1:19:16 AM | | AGAIn I will say life is faaakin short kids. Trust me I know all too well. You never know when your last chance is, so just faaakin dive in head first, you got nothing to lose!!!!!!! | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 2/28/2005 3:06:31 AM | Iamhim...lol..if it only were that easy, I made the mistake one time of "Getting to know" a girl who was actually LOCAL, for 3 months, because she didn't want to feel "pressured". I finally said, "Hey, are we going out or what" and started to call her on her excuses, she eventually told me to leave her the hell alone, lol..oh well, guess I burnt a bridge there...but I figured I'd have nothing to lose, because I knew she wasn't goin gto want to meet anyways.
I had a situation recently, she really had me convinced that she was interested, through the Yahoo emailing system....had a real good correspdence of lenghthy emails, then I did NOT ask for her Phone number, but I asked for her regular email address.
She would respond with good emails, however, sh'ed never give me her email address...eventually she told me that "Since she's so NEW to the whole online dating thing" she's nervous about it...."Can't blame a girl for being safe, right?" lol | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 2/28/2005 8:07:11 PM | ^^
sounds like you have a hard time just maintaining the 'friends' stat with women. Thats a shame because some of my closest friends are men...they may or may not have desires to pursue something else...they have never said/done anything to make me think that.
And if they do imagine that it will change into something more, thats their perogative to take a chance over a great friendship.... | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 2/28/2005 11:31:13 PM | Meet ASAP, and avoid building up an ideal vision of someone, see them first-hand, and make your acquaintances.
Get a good look, it's not going to hurt you or anything!
Maybe she/he is lying about appearances (happened to me)
Maybe she/he is an awesome personm, and it doesn't come across via Chat or IM ( also happened to me)
GET OUT THERE! YOU ARE AWESOME! GO FOR THE GUSTO! | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 3/1/2005 12:12:19 AM | | Depends on your situation...for me, traveling is not an option--but more than willing to meet a man for dinner if he chooses to drive or fly or whatever...has happened before. | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 3/1/2005 7:40:04 AM | about guys and girls being just friends, it only works if both of them are completely unnattractive physically to the other.
physical attraction + friendship = love.
the problem is the situation all too often where the guy likes the girl's looks and her personality, and she only likes his personality. which means to her it's just friends and that's all it will ever be, whereas he is pining away secretly hoping the friendship will blossom into something more. | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 3/1/2005 1:02:11 PM | There is no such thing as too soon. If there's chemestry then meet d*mn it. People tend to think too much. forget all cultural training because culture is contrary to nature. Whether you meet someone in at the library, a mall, online or whatever, if you two have chemestry for eachother don't let nothing stop you from going to your place or theirs and as my friend Brother Ptah would say **** to the highest of ****stivitie!!!  | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 3/1/2005 1:07:07 PM | Brown...my beef is, some women seem to think that it's a BAD thing that a man like myself, and some others here, have a hard time mainting a "Friends only" status with a woman.
I'm currently in a situation, where I started off as friends with a woman, and she told me, "Hey, we're just friends, okay"? Then she started flirting with me, and started to spend even MORE time with me....I think she's see sawing back and forth with me on wether to take it to the next step...I am hoping for the next step...but I believe a friendship is the best way to start and evolve into a relationship.
My policy has been, "Why should I date someone, that I Can NOT be friends with?" Right?
That's from a logical stand point though.
And brown...what's wrong with taking a chance on a "Great Friendship?" Might as well take that risk, because you never would be left wondering, "Hm, if I only could have told her how I felt"
I don't know how many cases in which a man was so bold enough to decide to take the leap, and do the deed. And he is to be admired as well. There is nothing more wonderful than a man who expresses his feelings to a woman, of course this might chase the female friend off...but hey, her loss. | |
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| how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 3/1/2005 7:51:15 PM | you should def find a partner that you can share a close friendship with & the leap of faith, assuming you land on solid ground - is all about living without the regret of a lack of attempts at love/lust.
I know men (thought you were in agreement ) that think its impossible for a man to maintain a friendship with a woman if she's made it clear that's all she wants, & because of that most men wont maintain the friendship if they know that's all they're going to get! | |
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