| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/24/2005 9:42:06 PM | | I was in A.A. For 17 years although I did not stay sober all that time there was 7 years 4 years twice and about a year and a half..A.A. Is a way of life some people take very seriously for that 17 years I could not be around alcohol..Then something really angered me and I went out the drunk lasted 10 years it was real ugly...You don't want nto be around an alcoholic that falls..While I was out I became real angry toward A.A. Because I had thought that they brain washed me for that reason being around alcohol, but I'll tell you something during that 10 years I could not quit no matter how hard I tried I was dying bleeding from the stomach it was fu*kin horrible..The last night I drank I dropped 60 downers turned on the gas and passed out my ex old lady and a couple of cops saved my life...I haven't had a drop since been a couple years a few months after I quit my ex died..The gal that saved my life a couple months after that my best friend died of cancer and I quit smoking..I accepted the lord in my life..That works for me and now I work in a liquor store..go figure I'm around it all the time as a friend of mine drinks...Don't like my story tough I needed to tell it..Limoshark your a good kid thanks for sticking up for drunks..Like I said A.A. Is a way of life people follow everything the Big Book of alcoholics anonymous says if you want to understand alcoholics read that book, you could find it at an office of A.A. Just call the number in your phone book..Just about every town in the world has one.. I agree with the gal if she uncomfortable being around it fine, different strokes for different folks..Don't worry kid there's plenty of fish in the sea you'll find one like yourself has a drink once in awhile or you'll find one don't care.. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/24/2005 10:05:05 PM | | Being an RN in the ICU I see alot of people who have almost died from there alcoholism. I just want to educate you a little. First of all, it has nothing to do with willpower. It is a disease and the medical community labels it as that, a disease. Secondly, dont be so offended by her honesty, after 19 years she is recovering, not everyone recovers the same. You could of said I dont need to drink and if it bothers you I wont. I'm sure she would appreciate it. If not move on. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/24/2005 10:20:29 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^
Medical Community
In 1956, the American Medical Association (AMA) stated alcoholism was a disease, as it met the five criteria needed in order to be considered a disease: pattern of symptoms, chronic, progression, subject to relapse, and treatability. One could learn about the disease concept through community lectures, articles in the paper, alcoholism hotlines and, of course, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/24/2005 10:41:02 PM | Byrd, Limoshark,Terbear9...way to go  I'm with you all the way.
Byrd...special congrats to you. I've seen that ugliness when someone falls. Best thing anyone can do is support someone who's trying to stay clean and if that means they don't want to be around me then so be it...I totally respect that. BTW I lived the other side as a codependant for many years and that is just as bad as being the addict. It sure doesn't help the situation.
Vandelai I wasn't the drinker, but after that relationship I chose not to be in a relationship with someone that drinks either so am I a hipocrate too? I still have alot of friends and even have had a couple of relationships that didn't involve drinking at all. They were the best times I ever had. Just because she doesn't want a relationship with someone who drinks doesn't mean she can't be around someone that drinks...she just plain and simple does not want a relationship that includes it...and that's best for her.
You find what you want in life and you will get it. If your looking for something that's not there then you'll always be alone.
Foxefire I don't disagree with you that it is a disease in medical terms....but in AA, NA, ALANON AND NARANON u will hear it being referred to an illness in more cases than not...they don't use the term disease very often. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/24/2005 10:43:11 PM | If I was assuming paperdoll that would make an ass out of me and you  I've spent over 20 years of this sh*tso use your medical terms if you like....try hearing what they call it in an actual meeting. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/25/2005 12:58:59 AM | | Hey Van im a recovering alcoholic with only 7 months under my belt right now but did have 3 years until i hooked up with a girl that drank every night. Somehow im naturally attracted to them and it seems that is all i have ever dated I slipped because of her even though i knew i was asking for trouble and it was all my fault for slipping. She just sat there and smiled as i blew away 3 years clean and she dumped me because she didnt like me drinking, she liked me sober. Bottom line is one day at a time,she could have had a weak spot and slipped herself and you have no idea how much it hurts to lose something you worked so hard to get I know this from personal experience I got dui# 2 and on house arrest right now with a nice little ankle moniter to remind myself what a DUMBASS i am Does that tell you anything ? Charlie | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/25/2005 3:02:02 AM | I apologize for any misunderstandings and such, I never realized there were certain levels of alcholism...some who have cut the habit, most that I Have met, seem to be a non-issue with them.
But I never had met anyone who just simply couldn't BE around alcohol...I took it personal,figured in a sense she was judging ME, because I drink on occasion. I guess she was diong it for her own good. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/25/2005 4:13:43 AM | | We all have our problems.....and shouldn't condemn anyone else for there problem. I dated a man for 3 yrs. who was a recovering alcoholic for 25 yrs. He too could not be around anyone drinking, the reason being he would want one and that would send him back to where he was 25 yrs. ago when he stopped drinking. I attended the AA meetings with him. And they describe it as a disease, not a condition or a disorder. And it can kill you. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/25/2005 6:14:08 AM | Vandelai sorry if I said some harsh comments earlier, I just get very touchy on this subject as for my whole life I have to live with the fact that my father is an alcoholic, and he tried to go dry but never succeeded like this very strong woman that you talked of as a hypocrate. I am in the process of losing my father to alcoholism and know a lot about the disease, condition, disorder whatever you want to call it. I will call it alcoholism, it destroys families, relationships, frienships, but most of all lives. It is not something to be taken lightly.
On a side note for those of you who have maybe tried AA and it wasnt for you (as it wasnt for me since i am not a fan of the whole religious end of it) I STRONGLY suggest a group called S.M.A.R.T REcovery, you can find them online anywhere. It is a different approach to recovery i found it better than AA. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/25/2005 6:50:22 AM | Is A.A. a religious society?
A.A. is not a religious society, since it requires no definite religious belief as a condition of membership. Although it has been endorsed and approved by many religious leaders, it is not allied with any organization or sect. Included in its membership are Catholics, Protestants, Jews, members of other major religious bodies, agnostics, and atheists.
The A.A. program of recovery from alcoholism is undeniably based on acceptance of certain spiritual values. The individual member is free to interpret those values as he or she thinks best, or not to think about them at all.
Most members, before turning to A.A., had already admitted that they could not control their drinking. Alcohol had become a power greater than themselves, and it had been accepted on those terms. A.A. suggests that to achieve and maintain sobriety, alcoholics need to accept and depend upon another Power recognized as greater than themselves. Some alcoholics choose to consider the A.A. group itself as the power greater than themselves; for many others, this Power is God — as they, individually, understand Him; still others rely upon entirely different concepts of a Higher Power.
Some alcoholics, when they first turn to A.A., have definite reservations about accepting any concept of a Power greater than themselves. Experience shows that, if they will keep an open mind on the subject and keep coming to A.A. meetings, they are not likely to have too difficult a time in working out an acceptable solution to this distinctly personal problem.
© Copyright 2005 Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
^^^^^^^^
This is just for those who don't know. Not trying to step on anybody's toes. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/25/2005 7:01:13 AM | Umm yeah hey thanks for the AA header there but I have been to many AA meetings, and there is a form of spirtuality involved, and it also usually takes place in churches. Which for some people like me doesn't fly. Also in my opinion AA makes people believe that they are weak and victims to alcohol, when the group that I recomended works on the nature of the beast and makes you realize why you drink and how you can become strong enough to overcome it, without believing in some higher power.
"Some alcoholics, when they first turn to A.A., have definite reservations about accepting any concept of a Power greater than themselves."
I have reservations with that as many others do so I was merely mentioning another group that leaves out all that higher power stuff.
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/25/2005 10:27:00 AM | According to Alcoholics Anonymous, there is no such thing as a "cured" alcoholic. They will always be a RECOVERING alcoholic.
(http://www.aa.org)
I admire this woman's strength to stay off the alcohol for 19 years.
I admire her clear-cut knowledge of what she wants and what she does not want.
I admire her ability to stick to her guns.
I think she should be appluaded for that. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/25/2005 10:31:13 AM | Vandelai - I just about fell off my seat when I read your post saying "I apologize for any misunderstandings..."
Holy cow! That's gotta be the first time I've seen that in this Forum. Wait, I think it might be the second.
I think your comment "I took it personal,figured in a sense she was judging ME, because I drink on occasion." hit the nail on the head.
And I think that's a common problem when it comes to dating. We take a refusal so personally, as a judgement on ourselves, on our worth, on our attractiveness. It could simply be the other person being aware of what they can and can not handle! | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/25/2005 11:08:44 AM | Vandelai
I had to wait a couple of days to find a logical way to write this, and I hope this will have you understand a bit more.
My older brother died 5 yrs ago from the drugs of his choice and the love of drinking and no matter what, his destiny would lead to death. I never had to experiment in this area, I had my older brother to watch and somewhere in his life, the addiction, which is a choice, took over his life. I watched for the next 25 yrs my older brother destroy his life, if it wasnt the drugs, it would be the drinking and its really not Vandelai problem to understand, its a problem for that person has to take control. My brother couldnt be put in a party setting without drinking, this includes going to bars etc and if he only surrounded himself with clean people maybe he would be here...This is the what if..and I won't begin to start there.
My older brother had amazing talent, he could ski the hardest run, play the guitar, and in construction, build amazing homes but somewhere in his mind, he had to have that last drink or drug of choice to make him feel whole. This lady you spoke with, has made the choice not to surround herself with anyone who drinks casually or socially, since her temptation is too great. I understand many do not recognize how hard she must fight each day, you may have never had that conversation with her, if she decided to drink & could have ended up like my brother. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/25/2005 11:25:47 AM | I THINK THAT SHE WAS DOING THE RIGHT THING. SOME ALCKYS CANT EVEN STAND THE SMELL. IT WILL THROW THEM OVER THE EDGE. SOME DONT LIVE DAY TO DAY. THEY LIVE MIMUTE TO MINUTE. IF THATS WHAT SHE HAS TO DO TO STAY SOBER THEN I APPLODE HER. BEING A DRUNK IS NO FUN. SHE DOESNT WANT TO DO IT AGAIN. ITS THAT SIMPLE. PLEASE DONT CRITISE HER. HELP HER.
MDEW22 | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/25/2005 11:59:02 AM | Alcoholism is a disease,it is classified as a disease,to be a disease it must have three things chronic [you will always have it] progressive [it will always get worse] terminal [causes death]You may want to look in a medical encyclopedia for the full definition. | |
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Fafnir
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Joined: 2/19/2005
Msg: 45 | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/25/2005 11:43:50 PM | | smitten... i'm in the same situation now with my younger brother. the only younger brother i have & i don't want to lose him, especially to drugs. people like you and i obviously don't relate to the mind set they develop when they reach for booze or drugs instead of family and friends or we'd be addicts as well. i know i will one day lose my brother to his addiction for good and for that i'm not prepared. it just makes me sad to watch the drugs slowly engulf my little brother and it seems there's nothing i can do to help. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/26/2005 12:16:58 AM | kitty...its hard to watch someone that has talent, family, friends toss it away for a drug or booze of choice...Many addicts will never see the pain it causes families, it can divide and tear people apart. If they're lucky, like this lady, figure out before it comes to death, their rock bottom and want to survive..but you can't do it for them..No one can
I had to walk away from my brother, and have my early childhood memories of him, and they're all good, so thats what i focus on today...His death, made me a better person, and even learned to forgive him...hard as it was..you have to do it eventually... | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 2/27/2005 8:31:47 AM | | One slip and theres a good chance one of three things will happen jails institutions or death and ive already done two of them One day at a time If i could get back everyone that i lost to the disease this place would be crowded | |
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