| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:33:43 AM | I am also in recovery and I feel the same way. It would be a whole lot easier to exlain this to someone who had some experience in this area. Since you don't have compassion for her situation, I will explain it in another way. If something tried to kill, steal, and destroy your entire existance, would you want to go anywhere near it? This is a suggestion of AA: Don't go to the barber shop unless you want to get a haircut. There are plenty of people on this site who find drinking acceptable, so just move on and respect this woman. I think it's AWESOME that she puts her recovery first. Alcoholism can wipe out a whole family. IT'S A DISEASE! If it was a matter of will power, AA wouldn't be a world-wide fellowship. We pray for people who just don't understand.  | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 6/18/2008 10:56:20 AM | i lived with an alcoholic, she was beautiful, funny talented, but could not stop drinking, i am sure it is going to kill her,so give the woman a break , and give hher all the credit in the world
19 years! | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 6/18/2008 11:31:08 AM | So, see the hypocrisy here? Someone who friggin drank their asses off in the past, won't date someone who has enough will power to keep it down to a drink or 2...also an Irony.
She said she does not like to be put in uncomfortable situations, I would figure after 19 years,she would have enough willpower to be around people who have a beer on occasion. - Vandelai
It's not hypocrisy, it's being realistic. Some recovered alchoholics can deal with the temptation, some can't. And it's very
important if you want to stay sober, to know which kind you are. I had a drinking problem, back when I was 17. I have
been sober for 30 years, next month. I can be around social drinkers, I can even go out to a club dancing, it's doesn't bother
me at all. But I have learned that I cannot be in a relationship with a heavy drinker/partier. I did that once (25 years ago)
& fell off the wagon. But was smart enough to know what a mistake it was & got right back on. We all have our boundaries,
not just in relation to alchohol, but in many areas of life. It's important to respect that. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 6/18/2008 11:44:28 AM | | i think there are other issues here... god bless her for staying sober;; but that dosn,t make you perfect.... the real key to sobrietry, is working on solving the problems that lead to drinking..... | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:12:39 PM | Man, are you scary. Not willing to let her have her way. She knows herself.
She knows her past experiences. She knows her experiences with people that drink
What I see in you is lack of understanding - - - - and to top it off, I see a large desire of you to drink - - and party and have friends over for beer as part of your life. She does not want that.
and many women have learned, when a man says that he only drinks once in a while and only 1 or two beers the number is normally quite a bit higher.
I myself, truly only drink once in a while. But I have meet others that say this and can not.
Your taking the position that she should tolerate your drinking and your drinking buddies when they come over for a get together or barbecue, is wrong. She has her desires and wishes.
Just as I do not smoke, I do not want to be around smokers, I do not do drugs and never will, I do not want to be around those that do.
I try to eat healthy and watch my cholesterol and blood sugar levels, so I do not want a person that would put these temptations in my way, So I look at the type of person that she is - - - - and if 100 lb's overweight, you have to assume that she is not eating healthy foods and as a result - lots of cookies, chips and dips, and fatty foods will be around - - and tempting.
She is like me - - why put yourself into that position. (but in my case a woman that is 100 lb's overweight is not attractive.
You are simply an insensitive person - - that lacks understand of others and their desires and needs. Learn this - - - - - - - people have different life styles and concepts. - - - you can not simply expect a woman to become what you want - - live your way.
Jim P. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:27:28 PM | I don't drink myself, but what really annoys me about others who drink at social functions is that they accuse me of being boring for not drinking and then go on and on about it all night.
I'm not saying that the OP is like that, but may have friends that do that she may come into contact with. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:48:43 PM | Well...I would hate to disagree with my possible future hubby...lol...but I wanted to add something....
There are those who are alcoholics who cannot be around alcohol or who, just the smell of it on another person could send them into a relapse.
There are those who can go to bars and clubs and not be bothered by such.
There are sober alcoholics, and there are drinking alcoholics.
I have at least one friend who fits into each of the categories, but it is the one I know who refuses to let HIS DIME cover a drink for anyone...even his live in GF...because he does not want his money supporting the alcohol manufacturers. (Went as far once, when someone else covered an entire dinner tables tab...and it was commented to him to just "buy a couple of drinks in reciprocation" for him to flat out refuse!)
THIS kind of attitude, while each is entitled to their own...just irks me! It's not the distributors faults that he is an alcoholic...and if he is ok with his GF drinking, even in his presence, then it sounds to me like he is just being a tight wad about things! LOL And while he has been sober for a long time...to me it sounds like he is still diverting blame, which I do not think is encouraged in AA. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:33:11 PM | OP, that's cool ... she simply knows that she needs to stay away from alcohol so that she isn't tempted to fall into the same pattern of drinking again. I doubt if she feels that she is superior to you in any way .. but she is protecting herself and has to be strong to her decision to avoid alcohol, and she really needs to be commended for having the strength to do so.
It really wasn't about you, so don't take it personally.
You'll meet lots of women who will enjoy a sociable with you.  | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:58:03 PM | | I would just as soon stay away from people who party. I had that part of my life. It was fun, I had the time of my life, I have some great stories to tell, but now I'm done. It is time for new stories. Ones I can remember better. If you want to drink socially, go ahead, but you will have to do it without my company. I'm not that social anymore. I am ready to settle down to a mellower lifestyle. I can make a complete fool of myself without the help of drugs or alcohol. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 6/18/2008 8:27:35 PM | Man, what a total spoil sport!?!? So when you pressured her into taking a swig of your beer, she said no? Dude! Any chick that wouldn't risk relapsing into alcholism in order to die in a gutter by choking on her own vommit is just too much of a "Square" for you to bring home to meet the parents. Stay away from her and find a chick who can score you some dimebags.
Good luck, and remember - there's plenty of fish in the sea, so find yourself one who can score you some good, high-test heroine, preferrably pharmaceutical-grade. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 6/18/2008 8:39:58 PM | | You are not only insensitive, but ignorant. It's not about willpower. If it was, then nobody would need, AA, Betty Ford Center etc. Do you think getting rid of diabetes is about will power? Alcoholism [call it what it is] is a disease. You do not "will" it away! | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 6/19/2008 12:31:27 PM |
I don't drink myself, but what really annoys me about others who drink at social functions is that they accuse me of being boring for not drinking and then go on and on about it all night.
I'm not saying that the OP is like that, but may have friends that do that she may come into contact with.
Just tell them that you can't enjoy watching the drunks if you're one of them, or ask them if they'll feel guilty because you DON'T drink. When you're on the offense instead of defense, people shut up. | |
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| Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink
Posted: 6/19/2008 12:48:49 PM | Hi , I have been clean and sober for almost 30 years.
Anyone that has ever tried to quit know how hard it really is.
If that is how she feels about HER sobriety let her be.
Anyone that is sober for any length of time knows that it is done "One Day At A Time"
If you are uncomfortable with that... Find someone else... move on... AND show some respect. There are Plenty of Fish in the Sea........Thanks.....................-Michael ~ | |
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