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 Author Thread: A hidden truth.. Depression...
 METALLlC BLUE

Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 326
A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 9/23/2006 2:42:09 AM

I've found that people that have suffered or struggled oftentimes have a greater sense of compassion and empathy toward others who are suffering. That is in no way a bad thing.


In many cases, you're right. I pretty much played Devils Advocate thru this whole thread. Truth be told, I understand all too well that Depression and various "human" qualities and experiences are common. We all go thru difficulties, grieve, experience overwhelming stress at various points in our lives.

If someones situation is tolerable and I can understand it and they're managing it, or asking for help [from me, or others] -- I'd gladly step up and listen and share with them. I've come from a very difficult background, and I spent so many years cleaning up so many things that I've tried to shy away from doing anymore than is necessary -- but I know people need someone, everybody needs somebody.

We all deserve love, kindness, respect, joy, peace and health -- and we're one in resolving these things by supporting each other in all our relationships -- intimate or not.
 atomhead

Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 327
A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 9/23/2006 7:19:38 AM
Some people have a big problem with taking medication for anything. Personally I realize sometimes medication is necessary to provide someone with a life experience that the average person enjoys without that medication.

People seem to think they are doctors and have the moral and educational authority to tell someone whether drugs are necessary for them or not. I am not one of those people.

My choice to date someone would be based on their personality and if I were to find they were on medication I would inquire as to why and what the situation is. But if I thought they were cool before I found out it wouldn't automatically make me think any less or more of them.
 BenzJaguar

Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 328
A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 9/23/2006 8:56:02 AM
atomhead...............Well Said !!!

Depression is merely anger without "Enthusiasm"..........
 outdoorguy28

Joined: 4/16/2005
Msg: 329
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A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 11/19/2006 10:59:57 PM
Depresion is as comman as the comman cold. Making fun of someone, or not accepting someone with mental illness is just as bad as making fun of someone with cancer. Often depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain and the person needs meds to fix the problem; they cannot just "snap out of it" like some people tell them too. It is not the persons fault.

By not accepting people with mental illness and/or making fun of them only adds to the stigma of the mentally ill being dangerous. The truth is violent crime among the mentally ill is no greater than violent crime in the general population

When there is a stigma attached to the mentally ill, many people who need help, will refuse to take meds or see a psychiatrist because they do not want to be labeled as "crazy" so you see it only adds to the problem.

Society today is becoming more tolerant of many things, but mental illness is one of the last barriers of stigma which needs to be broken
 sphinx-fire

Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 330
A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 11/20/2006 12:27:30 AM

Posted By: gmaverick on 7/31/2006 7:02:41 AM
Subject: A hidden truth.. Depression...



Sometimes you come across a consummate idiot!
Someone who is so clearly superior, patronising and then shows himself to be entirely devoid of any compassion or humility that it is jawdropping.

Some things came to my mind when reading posts such as FOR EXAMPLE (LOL) gmavericks postings here:

1/ Here was a closet depressionist!
2/ Methinks he protests tooooo much!
3/ Devoid of tact, diplomacy or courage, in fact a passive aggressive, social parasite, suffering from a case of bombasticisys
4/ Armchair magician....
5/ psycho-scientist justification...

gmaverick give yourself a break, you will blow a mind cell... those that have it usually know it or eventually find out, those who don't know stay in denial... others think that they have it (hypochondriacs like me, and get laughed at whenever my doctor hears the frenetic activities I do that suggest the contrary....)... and others are just going through periods where they are unhappy, or not as self-determined as they might be when they are happy.

I actually started laughing when I read how ferocious and subjective you are... you are certainly on a mission!
 tebaziletims

Joined: 9/28/2005
Msg: 331
A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 11/20/2006 12:58:44 AM
I was diagnosed with depression a few years ago. While it's not something I'd put in my profile or wear on a T-shirt, it's not something I'd hide either. It's something that becomes pretty clear when I do wear a T-shirt... when I was younger, undiagnosed, and untreated, I'd cut myself. As recently as earlier this year, I caught myself going back to that habit. Naturally, if I was serious about my relationship with a man, I would tell him. I would hope dearly that he wouldn't judge me for it or leave me over it... but I'd have to take that chance.

That being said, I would be pretty upset if a guy actively hid his depression from me. I know how damaging that can be... how much strain it can put on a person. If I cared about him, and he cared about me, we'd want to be honest and supportive of each other. Meh. I'm probably dreaming. But it's what I hope for.
 sphinx-fire

Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 332
A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 11/20/2006 1:10:11 AM

Posted By: MB58SC on 9/23/2006 1009 AM
Subject: A hidden truth.. Depression...
Message:We all deserve love, kindness, respect, joy, peace and health -- and we're one in resolving these things by supporting each other in all our relationships -- intimate or not.


Bravo!

Here is my lovely Friend!

I have known, loved and supported (unconditionally) Friends who suffered from 'Depression' consistently over the years. For me natural therapies were a preferred approach, fresh air - long walks to talk over their thoughts, feelings and anything else that they wanted to explore... and other cheerful activities that drew them out of themselves. In more serious cases, I would wait in the car whilst they went to the doctor, or sit by their bed when things spiralled out of control and I was facing a self-harmer case.

Then about three years ago, following redundancy and some bad news about a relative, I withdrew, and felt I must be depressed, I searched the entire internet and did a few questionnaires, and then spoke to my Doctor the next time I went in for a routine check up on muscle strain from my keep fit activities, and he grinned and said that I had the nearest thing to a burn out, where I had overworked, and being a bubbly, vivacious person I was feeling stressed out at not having a job. He said I worked harder whilst not being gainfully employed than anyone he knew, (at the time I was instructing 6 classes a week sometimes 8, and applying for about 250 jobs a week anything! and supporting both financially and emotionally someone close to me going through a divorce, and taking exams for my fitness work which was really just a hobby... and had created a couple of creative websites... he said I really needed a rest).

Did I take his advice NO... but what I did do was:

1/ forget myself, forget to focus on me, forget to think about my needs.
2/ spend even more time on other people's pains and problems...
3/ stopped doing basic chores in my normal routine... as if my wants were not important.

I realised the other day when talking to 'my boy'... that I just wasn't focussing on me, I felt I wasn't important enough to spend time on, so I filled my time constantly on other peoples problems. The only time when it was really about me was when He was focussing on me, spoiling me with kindness, and love and simply never asking for anything in return, yet thanking me for small gestures on my part of love in return. Through a comprehension of his single sentence... something I must have heard so many times before but not fully grasped... I found that it turned my journey... I choose a different path. I rang my mom and for asked if could just rest, she understood immediately.

At first it through me, I actually then did feel 'depressed', because I forced myself to take my duvet with a hot coffee, something beautiful to read that was artistic and gorgeus... and trundled down to the bottom of my garden in the frost and wet grass. My neighbours have known me forever, and those that were up, just smiled... It is something I have often done, when it is cold or snowed, I like to take a huge blanky wrap in it and just sit outside and enjoy a hot brew... just in adoration of nature! I sat there and felt like I wanted to weep, I just literally rested. I spent about 2 hours just relaxing, and felt an intense sense of being uplifted. I also felt tearful and then that depressed me!

I am not saying it ended all my problems and I lived happily ever after but it felt great. I just felt that having a Friend who cared enough to be there for me, urging me softly and tenderly with love to care about me gave me a small moment of rest, serenity and peace.

The only thing was that I was bored! I realised that I bored myself silly (lol).

Now this week I am even more determined to be altruistic, and catch up on anyone I have neglected and I know I will go back to running myself ragged over others... but that is me, until someone else notices I need a rest I guess! Or I drop from over exhaustion. The truth is we all have coping mechanisms and try to find what works for us sometimes we really do need help along the way, I personally in answer to the original post, think it is the ethical and honourable path to allow other to lean on me and to be there for those I love, have a sense of duty towards or feel compassion for.
 sweethonesty40

Joined: 4/13/2006
Msg: 333
A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 11/20/2006 1:49:50 AM
I suffer from depression and there is still such a stigma attached that I don't tell someone upon first meeting them. It does gradually come out, but I'm older and things were not talked about like they are now. I was just recently involved with a man that had a Bipolar meth head ex wife and I when I told him, well, he was through with me! He compared me to his ex, which I feel there is some difference. Nevertheless, we go through our lives with a purpose! We all have trials and sufferings. If you can't gain some sympathy and compassion for people with your trials, don't be surprised if you are not faced with it...time and time again! My depression doesn't define who I am as a person. It's a part of me, but not the whole of me! I may not be "normal" in the eyes of some, but who in the heck is? I think most people have some kind of mental thing going on...we are not perfect people. Sooo, to those of you who stand up and honestly admit that you have some mental issues...big hugs!
 justme1975

Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 334
A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 11/21/2006 5:09:41 PM
Ouch..I may not be the girl to answer this as Depression runs in my family. In my oppionion Depression is a disease, no different than any disease..to penalize someone for it would be taking something from them. If they are seeking help and on medication, then kudos to them...I think passing over someone who has depression is cowardly, you could be passing up a wonderful person.

We shouldn't judge those because of race, relgion, or ethnicity..why judge them because of a medical problem.

My oppionion only.

Kate
 ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 335
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A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 11/21/2006 7:13:27 PM
No, because as long as they're taking it, they should be fine.

We all have our own issues, and i'm not going to "cast the first stone," so to speak.
 indigoeyes

Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 336
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A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 11/21/2006 7:27:11 PM
Great posts Romeo and Spelly...I have been off and on meds for over 15 years. I know when I need them and I know when I don't. I am currently on meds again. I don't care who knows. Depression is a part of my life...it makes me who I am. The only way we can educate others is to talk about it. We can not control the chemicals in our bodies or our brains. If we have diabetes, heart disease, or cancer we treat it. Depression is no different.
 Irie35

Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 337
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A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:20:27 PM
That really touched me ...

After i had my second blood clot and the first in my lungs two years ago i was so stubborn i refused to go to the doctors that i ended up in hospital with pnuemonia aswell. I came so close to dying it was stupid. They did some tests and found out that i inherited a gene called Factor V Leiden which made me more prone to blood clots. I was told i needed to take Warafin for life which i refused to do. This last Christmas i ended up in hospital again with a blood clot on my lung. Once i recovered and felt well i again refused to accept that at 35 that i needed to continue taking rats poison (warafin), the thought of it running through my vains made me feel ill . I was meant to start a meditation course beginning of last week but hey presto i knew the signs and sure as chips i had a blood clot in my leg. I had been waiting to be able to do my course for over a year, and because i had not been taking my medication i couldn't attend and although i didn't need to be in hospital i am having to go in every day for injection in my stomach and blood tests until my blood has thinned to an acceptable level and the correct dosage of medication can be prescribed. My arms are so bruised they are having difficulty in getting blood out of me and my stomach looks black and blue all because i refused to take my medication.

It stories like this and seeing people receiving cancer treatment that are helping me realise how selfish and stupid i have been. I know realise that although my medication isn't a cure but a prevention and if i wanna be around to see my daughter become independent it's something i have to accept and get on with.

Thank you all xx

May me all appreciate what we have and be more understanding and considerate of those less fortunate than ourselves.

 Irie35

Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 338
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A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:23:07 PM
I was referring to the lady who posted on pg 4 msg 66
 ex-navy

Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 339
A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:34:09 PM
Well, as long as they know to take their meds and as long as the meds are *working* then why not? They gotta stay on the meds and make shure you let their family know if you're gonna break up with them ( depending on how bad off with the whole depression thing they are) because they will appreciate the heads up. And don't go saying any endearing coments ( like mentioning the "L" word) unless you actually mean those coments because they may become more attatched based on those words- making for a.... messier.... breakup. That's the knowledge I've managed to gather based on my experiences in life.
 EmilysGhost

Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 340
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A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 9/11/2007 10:24:29 AM
Funny how medical issues are dirty little things to hide, or not.

Fact is most people who have depression do not seek treatment at all. Kudos to folks who recognize a problem, see the doctor, find the med(s) that work and take them for as long as necessary.

There is no person you will find in life that has a blank slate that is old enough to have a relationship with you.

Sherry
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