allh2h
|
Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 26 | |
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 7:52:55 AM | Yes and pills do not necessarily make the problem go away...my ex is a good case in point. They'd put him on the meds but he never went to couseling. If he had learned to deal with life he'd never need the meds. Being a survivor of depression myself I can see the symptoms but he is just a dipstick with things sometimes and refuses to believe that anything mental going on is the problem. WIth him it has to be takne care of with a pill! But that is also part of the mental disorder...tweeker and that is how he gets his drugs... | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 7:59:40 AM | "I do not have it in my profile, but i would tell the person before the first meeting, that i have it."
I agree, a profile is no place to be listing what type of meds a person takes- whether its for diabetes, depression, cancer, or erectile dysfunction.........although the latter might even be approp. on a dating site I would wait until after the 1st date, when both parties are sure they might be interested in seeing each other, then it would be more appropriate to share sensitive info b4 the relationship progresses. I don't think I'd run if it was depression, but I'd have to know more about the person and how it has affected them (did it require hospitalization-how many, etc) so I can understand the severity and patterns of coming off meds, etc. b4 I could make a decision. But, if the person isn't serious about getting better (as evidenced by frequent off med episodes) and it was then negatively impacting their life (job loss,erratic behavior etc) I don't think I could stay w/ them. | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 8:09:50 AM | First to all...to ~Who Me~ who stated: "On the other side of the coin - some of the meds cause sexual dysfunction -usually for men it's raging erections with no relief.", sexual dysfunction can definitely be part of the side effects of meds for depression, however, I have never heard of raging hard ons being one of these side effects! In general, the opposite is true: little or no ability to maintain an erection, inability to reach orgasm, & decrease in sexual desire. Decrease in sexual desire or inability to reach orgasm can apply to both men and women.
I have a degree in psychology and have also personally experienced clinical depression. It is very difficult to manage and to live with, but is also severely misunderstood. I too went off my meds early, once I felt better. It can be a mistake for many people to do this. Meds, if they are working for you, should technically be taken for at least a year simply due to the fact that that is how long it takes your brain to begin to be able to produce the necessary chemicals (seratonin, norepinephrin, etc) on it's own again. It's like giving your brain a boost. However, each person's case is diferent. I found that I was able to learn to recognize when my depression was returning and go back on the meds when necessary. In addition, for most people, the most successful way to deal with depression is a combination of counselling and medication. I was able, in a way, to self counsel...and also found that working on changing my thinking (ie: catching myself in negative thoughts and immediately changing them) helped immensely. Most negative thoughts, especially in people with depression, are overexaggerated to the extreme, and changing these thought patterns can help incredibly.
As far as revealing depression to those you are dating, I see no need to come out with that right away. It's something that can definitely be discussed later on. It doesn't make people freaks and it's something that takes time and an open mind to understand. I am generally a very positive person, but life events either past or present can trigger clinical depression in anyone. Don't think you are immune, because it could be something you may have to face yourself one day. The key is to educate yourself and others. | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 8:12:40 AM | I really don't get the point of this post, it's stupid, I mean really. You should tell someone BEFORE you meet them that you have depression? WHY? Does that mean we have to list everything wrong with us before the first meeting or on the first date? Do I have to tell them about my ED? My once in awhile anxiety attacks? That I have bad pms? How about that I've suffered from yeast infections in the past? How about the abnormal cells I had on my cervix 13 years ago after I gave birth that I had cryotherapy for? And never came back - even after my second birth - does that have any effect on my dating life now? Or how about my thyroid?I survived Graves Disease...they shut down my thyroid so I have to take a synthetic form of it in a pill every day for the rest of my life. Oh wait! Here's the deal breaker! I definitely won't get any dates after this...I have to take an iron pill because I'm anemic....damn, I just sealed my fate I will be alone forever and ever.
Oh and just to clear it up depressed people are not violent..unless it's to themselves cause they're suicidal. They're sad, they don't lash out and hit things. That's the work of some other kind of mental disorder. You guys are making it out like depressed people are serial killers.
I swear some of you people are so scared living in that little bubble of i'll-never-date-anyone-with-anything-wrong-with-them it's pathetic. | |
|
| |
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 8:52:34 AM | RE: *jenni*
NOT well said..
You are OFF topic here.. This is about depression.. Not pills, not anything else..
Nobody ever said that you have to give a list of meds anywhere..
The questions are simple if you bothered to look at them..
You did not even answer the questions asked.. So who's Pathetic..
"I really don't get the point of this post, it's stupid, I mean really. You should tell someone BEFORE you meet them that you have depression? WHY?"
Then why post if you think that it is stupid?? Go somewhere else with your cynicism..
Everyone else had CONTRUCTIVE things to add to it and understood the thread.. | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 8:56:07 AM | Say if you were dating someone and they hid the fact that they suffered from
depression and were taking medication for it..
Would you continue to see them?
or
Would you run for the hills?
Most people that have this disorder probarbly will not let you know this..
The medication would also hide this fact, but the truth always comes out..
What would you do?
Those were the questions..now if you can't tell what my answer to those are from what I posted then it's you who's pathetic.
But obviously you need something a little more clearly defined... Yes I would continue to see them, no, I would not 'run for the hills'. And your third question was redundant.
Oh and had you bothered reading all the posts to your thread you would see there are a few people on here that basically said what I said just not in such descriptive detail, they thought you were nuts too.
Lastly, it's conStructive. | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 8:58:22 AM | | People fear the unknown and mental disorder is still great unknown to many. What is wrost, thoes you think they "know" are so misinformed that they were better off when they knew nothing! I have lived with depression since i was a kid. and the stupid things people say to me just leave me in awe! Better teaching in mental disorders is need, by trained doctors and long terms suffers, not by web sites (not talking about this thread) where the owner clams to know all this things wrong with meds and doctors today. | |
|
allh2h
|
Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 34 | |
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 9:00:33 AM | Ouch Far....
but ya that would be off topic too...
So it hit her wrong maybe? It kind of did me too and I might have strayed a bit too but there is no need to....well ya know?
When there is meds, medical issues involved EXPECT reactions like this...honestly I am surprised there have not been MORE like hers. There is more out there in the world then you think and the negative stigmatism that goes with it causes a lof of bitterness and cynasism and hence the attitude that Jenni has...I had it too and kinda still do in some ways. It is really justified and depression is just the tip of the iceburg...give her a break ok? If you've never had to take meds then you really ahve no idea what you are talking about and have no right coming down on her. | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 9:10:52 AM | | You would have to be pretty ignorant (uneducated) to run for the hills. You should wait and see how the depression affects the way you feel about the person. It may not matter at all or may be unbareable, but wait and find out. As well love is a well known cure for depression. So you may cure this person and then depression won't be an issue. | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 9:16:10 AM | I stand corrected..
but I never said that anyone has to list there meds or the fact that you have to tell them
now or down the track.. I am saying that they hide the fact from you and you find out or
they tell you at a later stage..
Would you still date them or run for the hills..
If you have other disorders is not what I want to know..
I want to know about depression and what the sentiment of people is towards this disorder..
I have 6 friends with this disorder and my brother-in-law.. I have watched them for years
battle the hardships that go with this.. They take all sorts of meds for it.. They have had
alot of people snub them in relationships and that is my question.. Why do people do that?
Taking meds is part of the healing process of depression so that is a given.. Therapy and most of all understanding is another.. I am trying to educate myself on public opinion..
So far it has been good.. and my last question is not redundant.. What would you do?
Still see them or run for the hills.. after the TRUTH be known.. | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 9:19:31 AM | I find that a lot of times on dating sites, you come across all kinda of "people" who suffer from mild depression. I for one am very outgoing and like to be the clown, but I do understand how some "in their shell kinda people" feel that this online thing might be the emotional answer for them. Hopefully by them getting out there and meeting people, they might be able to come out of their so called "shell" and be more out going and not so depressed. I think that it's something that is all in your head, for mild cases, I do know there are cases that need the meds and need the help. But I think it's more or less just getting up the nerve, getting the fist push to go out there and do it and then things will just fall into place. I mean if you sit at home and gripe about things all the time, to the extent that no one wants to be around you/with you la te da.. then you'd be feeling down and blue. But to get over that hold your head up high and try it, go out there and make the best of it. You might start to see yourself as a different person. A person who doesn't miss out on the best things that life has to bring.
As for medication and such, I think it would be hard to just come out and say it before you meet a person, I know if someone told be that I might get a little off the wall and maybe seek another person to meet. I think as time goes on and you feel more comfortable with each other, then maybe there's no need for the meds, it was a matter of coming out of your shell? I guess this coming from little miss out going, doesn't help. I just always wonder whats inside these "quite shy, depressed people's mind" I think it's just lack of self confidence. | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 9:23:59 AM | | I dated an older woman who suffered from depression. Had she wanted kids, I would have asked her to marry me. | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 10:26:07 AM | To gr8_honest_gal
There is a great deal of difference between what you described - sounds more like social anxiety and shyness - and depression. Depression can be a life threatening disease, as well as being very debilitating. It is not just feeling "blue" or having low self esteem, although these can be one of the MANY manifestations of depression.
The DSM-IV-TR diagnostic criteria for a major depressive episode are as follows:
A. At least 5 of the following, during the same 2-week period, representing a change from previous functioning; must include either (a) or (b):
(a) Depressed mood
(b) Diminished interest or pleasure
(c) Significant weight loss or gain
(d) Insomnia or hypersomnia
(e) Psychomotor agitation or retardation
(f) Fatigue or loss of energy
(g) Feelings of worthlessness
(h) Diminished ability to think or concentrate; indecisiveness
(i) Recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, or specific plan for suicide
B. Symptoms do not meet criteria for a mixed episode (ie, meets criteria for both manic and depressive episode).
C. Symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment of functioning.
D. Symptoms are not due to the direct physiologic effects of a substance or a general medical condition.
E. Symptoms are not better accounted for by bereavement, ie, the symptoms persist for longer than 2 months or are characterized by marked functional impairment, morbid preoccupation with worthlessness, suicidal ideation, psychotic symptoms, or psychomotor retardation.
NOTE: There are many new drugs on the market that have lower sexual side effects. You have to pick the one that is right for you. | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 10:28:30 AM | Depression is a very serious condition. There are many facets to this illness that I would want to be made aware of before I made the decision to date someone. I know a lot of people take meds for depression these days. It may be covering up a much bigger problem like bi-polar disorders, or something more serious. Then again it may not be much at all. In any case I would want to know.
Luna | |
|
allh2h
|
Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 41 | |
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 10:33:33 AM | But OP, the way you reacted to Jenni...that is part of it! Depression is like ANY OTHER out there. Including hers, she was giving YOU an example of what it is like from our side of the fence. Ya see? Kinda give you a feel of the "WHYS" of maybe it is not told about upfront or at all, because of the way you came down on her. Even though it may have been cynical to you, you reacted like a jerk to her. Ya, she could hve put it differently, but so could you have. Most likely she has gotten more of what you have said from others. Iknow I have, I have no sympathy for people that react like you did. Watching someone go through it and actually LIVING it are two different stories. You want to know...pay attention to what is BEHIND what jenni is saying. Don't discredit it simply because she did list and it had more to do then just depression. You have to look at the whole picture to understand. A medical disorder is a medical disorder either way you slice it. Understand?
I'm not trying to criticize and I apologize if I do sound like it. But well...you asked  | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 11:23:23 AM | | I have been medicated 3 times in my life for depression and I am grateful I saw the signs and got myself the help I needed. Everyone goes through a rough time in their life and there is no shame in asking for help either medically or psychologically. I am fortunate not to need medications anymore as my depression was situational and not clinical. Those who have clinical depression, well, people need to realize this is a medical condition, and needs to be treated. There is nothing wrong in dating someone who has depression, it is just another part of who they are, like it or not. Everyone is different, and judging someone due to their medical condition is just wrong. | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 11:40:42 AM | | Everyone is entitled to their opinion as to running for the hills on this one...unless you have had experience with this disorder....then I think it's fair to make a conclusion. I for one will run from this situation. It is too much work, too exhausting, and never ending. I am talking about someone who is life long with this. Not someone who's depressed here and there... I think we all get the blues every once in a while. There are people out there who need the meds everyday of their lives. That's the decision one must take.. do i stay or do i go? | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 11:43:31 AM | | Would I leave because they had depression....no. Would I be probably leave because they had lied about such an important aspect of themselves and who they are....yes. | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 11:46:19 AM | Having worked in the counseling field for about 10 years prior to leaving it, I know that there are many conditions where a person is much better off with medications than not. In many if not most cases, they might have to go their whole lives with it to function as the status quo does.
These people are not bad people. Some weren't even subjected to horrific things that people think is the cause. It's all a chemical imbalance where the brain synapsis don't fire as they should and the medication helps it. It isn't a cure-all, but it helps them to live healthier so they can work through their conditions.
If I were to be with someone long term having found out they were on medications for depression or any other disorder, why would it really matter? I fell in love for who they were. If they never get off their meds yet still maintained stability, then that's great! | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 11:47:24 AM | | There are many different forms and levels of depression, some require heavy medication for a long time, while others require lighter medication for a shorter duration; and because everyone is unique you don't usually see two people following the same regime. Also, a good majority of people suffer depression at some point in their life; some of whom will need meds to help alleviate it, and some who won't. The same thing happen with people who suffer from anxiety attacks. I don't see any problem with dating someone with depression/anxiety as long as they're receiving whatever help they need for it. | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 11:51:14 AM | Msg 1...
It would depend.
Some depression is situational and some is chemical (brain chemicals).
It would depend on many factors as to why this person is depressed...
if it were a long term illness that they have had for many years... it would be very different than if a particular situation were present.. like job loss or divorce.
How does this person cope if it is situational?
Do they have good coping skills or the kind of person who places blame on others ?
I would not date anyone with a long term menntal illness, like depression as I have known a few manic depressives ( one was a college professor )...
and I just am not attracted to the apathy.
I couldnt do it long term or be with someone who had this mental ilness long term as it would be depressing.
I worked in a psyche hospital for ahile ( I am a RN) and there were many types of depressed people there from moderate to severe depression, manic depression.. etc
If it were a long term illness for this person and not due to some situation in their life...
and I felt they had poor coping skills...
and not in therapy if they were not coping well with whatever the problem was...
it would be a big NO.
It wouldnt work for me and make my life unpleasent... would be like being at work with one of the patients and I prefer someone who is mentallly healthy ... and has good coping skills as we all get down at times...
but for some its a way of life and involvement of a personal nature
as in a person I was intimate and romantically involved with, that life is not for me.
Just being honest and even told you why. | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 12:09:18 PM | coca2 " I for one will run from this situation. It is too much work, too exhausting, and never ending. I am talking about someone who is life long with this."
Most of "lifers" are very hard to pick out of the crowd. we take our pill when we get up and again at supper, just like someone with high BP. there is not all ways work with us, that is a very misinform thinking.
I have Depression, take meds, see docs, the whole works. Just because people like me need pills to fix a inblance,or deal with other areas of there lifes makes us damged too many people.
We for the most part ( there are some who can not, and will not be included in this rant) work, would not be differt then any one else you met unless we told you. We go to school and like every other student get honers and f's. We still make great friends, still make for great pranters in life. I know this is coming out all in a rough rant, not classy like some of the other members are gifted at, but people ( and not this is not amid at coca2) everywhere need to start to under stand what mental illness really is. All the different leveals of it.
Lots of good post were added while i was typing this crap, thank you for adding greater wisdom :) | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 1:48:45 PM | | I have high blood pressure, treated, so I live a normal life while on my meds. I once was treated for depression , which is simply defined as an unreasonable sadness, and is normally temporary. As long as the person is sucessfully treated I really dont see an issue any more than I think having high blood pressure is an issue. Would I tell someone I was dating I take b.p meds? Sure I guess so, when it became an issue. i dont see it as first date information or really something that has to be discussed early in a relationship , such as herpies or some other comunicable disease. I receintly discovered by accident that a woman I date casually was taking zoloft, and other than to compare notes I didnt consider the information signifigant, beyond a general concern for her welfare. Now lies are a different story, if they have been deceptive about it , it isnt the condition that is the issue but the deception. | |
|
| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 6/22/2006 2:02:31 PM | | Yes, by all means tell your potential date about any medication you take or use to treat any problem, mental or physical. Do you ever have episodes of dandruff? It will be ABSOLUTELY necessary to tell about the Head and Shoulders shampoo you use. Do you get pimples? Better confess about that Clearasil! Your date will also want to know about any allergies, headaches, hemorroids, etc. that might make problems if you quit using medication.Oops I forgot to report that Dexatrim I take to contol the appetite. Deception warning!! | |
|
Home
login 
