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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/1/2006 4:57:33 AM | I just went back and read a few pages, GESH you guys. I'm sorry, it's not the JUST the meds that gets a depressive person back on track. THEY have to want it and have to work HARD at it.
All the meds do is clear the thinking so you can figure shit out on your own, or even give you the zip to get up and seek more help.
As far as the DOC"S. LOL. thats a sore subject with me. If I did everything they told me to, I would still be walking around like a zombie. They had me soooooooo stoned all the time, couldn't walk a straight line, diffently could't drive. But one day I said enough is enough. Pop the tops to almost all the meds and flushed. The only one I kept was my lithium, BEST DAMN THING I COULD HAVE DONE. (for me)
10 days to 2wks I went thru withdraws, but at the end of all that, I was up and moving, going outside, got in the car. Life changed, Yah I know it sounds hoaky, but it's true.
Bottom line, it's ALL completely up to you what and how meds go into your body. just as long as they get in. I have worked out a system, by experimenting that works great for me. And no I don't tell my doc. all he has to know is it's at the right level(blood wise) every 3 mths. and it has been for 4 yrs now. The only side effect so far for me is the liver. But it is monitored, so no big deal. As for one comment about not being happy, SH*T!!! I'm happier, heck I don't believe I've ever been happier, (except maybe my divoice. lol)
Listen to your body, it WILL tell what you need. Just have to pay close attention. And thats my story and I'm stickin to it. | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/1/2006 2:01:07 PM | Hi guys!
I am new to the forums and to POF so be kind, as I will try to be to you.
Ok. To start off with, I am a bi polar and was diagnosed at 13. I am honest with my disorder, as I know that I have to have a support group around me in times of need. If I date, that person has to 1. Make the choice to be with me and my disease and 2. Has to take interest in understanding it.
I am proud of what I do with what I’ve been given. Bi polar or any other form of depression can eat a person and their loved ones alive. No one chooses it and no one should be unloved because of it. Just like any other disease.
Just remember if you’re told your loved one has this or you find out a girl/guy your wanting to date suffers from such a disease, that they didn’t choose it. And before you run for the hills or freak out listen to them. A lot of us that were blessed to be so different from the rest actually have taken time to learn about it, understand it, except it and be damn proud of who we are with it.
To answer the original question I do not share this on the 1st date. Maybe not even the 2nd but if I see that it is going further and may continue I do tell them as soon as possible. I think if I waited longer then that would be dishonest and to tell before would be self-damaging. After all most people are so judgmental on looks I can’t imagine how they handle the mental aspects of a person.
Of course now EVERYONE KNOWS!!! 
There will always be ups and down but that is life. Personally I would rather be a little crazy then judgmental. After all there are medications for what I have.
We are not all nuts and the few of us that are? … Well we are pretty darn cute!
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/1/2006 5:38:59 PM | It took me 10 years, eight different meds, one hospital stay and it was partially what cost me my marriage. I control it, it DOESN'T control me. I don't drink at all now, because alcohol and meds don't mix. Some people do drink while on meds, but alcohol is a depressant, and would defeat the purpose of being medicated. Be honest about depression, but not on a 1st date. I agree with that thought.
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
ONE....but the light bulb must truly want to change!!! | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/1/2006 11:42:17 PM | | magic mushroom lol, thanks for that laugh. Although mental illness just like any other illness is no laughing matter, it is important we find some humor in our own shortcomings. Mental illness is in no way shape or form craziness, and it can be helped iwth medication. its the people who think they are perfectly *normal* that we must watch out for. | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/1/2006 11:44:53 PM | | just curious but would u rather start dating them, then they confide they have an illness they refuse to take meds for? | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/2/2006 3:09:04 AM | But one day I said enough is enough. Pop the tops to almost all the meds and flushed. The only one I kept was my lithium, BEST DAMN THING I COULD HAVE DONE. (for me)
10 days to 2wks I went thru withdraws,
Folks, Please, Please, Please don't do it this way!!!!! Some of these drugs not only will put you through withdrawals, but can seriously damage your health if you quit taking them in that manner. claypot, I'm glad you survived, and it worked for you. But it is terrible advice. Your doctor is there to help you. If something isn't working for you, tell him! That's what he is there for. They know how difficult it is to find the right mix to work the best for you. They can't do that if you don't tell them what is going on. But please don't try to do it on your own. Think about it, these are drugs that are effecting your BRAIN! So use it! If you want off the meds, tell your dr that, too. He will give you a schedule for weaning off of them safely. I know. I've done it. I got back on, too. But he let me try it.
Having the support and love of a partner can make a huge difference. You may never know how much you have helped someone else just by being there.
Prolibertate, thanks for the links! Great post! Glad you came back and checked in with us. You have much wisdom to share.
Sweetsmiles, welcome to the forums. Don't cry. The whole world hasn't found their way in here yet!
We're having a heat wave down here in the South, sure glad it cooled off a bit in here!
HT | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/2/2006 5:52:14 AM | HvNl: I AGREE! But as you reread, I did say it worked for ME.
Everyone is different, my point was, the meds are handed out right and left with no real explanion, or reason why u only take them at a certain time of the day. For me, i was to take them 3 times a day. Now I take them once at bedtime and can function during the day.
Be smart about what and how you take your meds, is basically all I was saying. It's your body, know one elses. | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/2/2006 5:40:23 PM | Yes, claypot, and I'm so glad it worked for you. It scares me to think of anyone doing it this way though. Some of these meds just cannot be stopped so abruptly safely.
I agree, it is important to know what I am taking and why I am taking it. It is my body and I am ultimately the only one responsible for it. I know I need help from someone with more knowledge than I have to deal with medical problems and medication. Especially when dealing with depression.
HT | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/3/2006 12:57:23 PM | prolibertate : I don't quote, so here you go:
Legal prescription drugs affect the mind and body just as bad as illegal ones. Go ahead; argue with me more please.
I don't have to explain myself to anybody about what I learned about brain meds! Ok? Fine! Go ahead and throw more salt in people's eyes so they can't see. I have special goggles on. | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/3/2006 6:27:43 PM | Naked: I'm wondering, do you take these meds, yes its a very personal question, BUT if you are not, then you really don't know the whole skinny about them.
But if you are, then relax. Knowone is pointing a finger, these are all just opinions.
You spoke earlier about depressives having no emotions, lack of happiness, and it's no laughing matter.
15% of the time I would have to agree, but the other 85, I have a blast, and even have fun with my disorder, it makes people uncomfortable at times, so to lighten the mood I will make fun of it and myself, just to put them at ease and they can see me as a normal person,LOL, what ever the heck that is.
Most people I run across don't have a clue, I've even had a few argue with me that I was pulling their leg.
It all boils down to the person who has the disorder, how do they want to spend the rest of their life, on their ass doin the whoa is me, or get up off your ass and do something about moving forward. I chose the latter, hell of alot more fun.
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/4/2006 11:56:00 PM | | Depression really is a blow to the head and its so odd how one minute your perfectly alright and happy and a second later (litterly a second) you get in the worst mood and feel like your falling apart, and crumbleing all at same time i hate this feeling so bad.(1:59am) | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/5/2006 2:33:33 AM | This is kinda really personal so bear with me pls...
I had never had any sort of depressive states all through teens, and they were kinda hard.
After i fell pregnant with my first son, i had a had a huge falling out with my dad and ended up not talking for nearly a yr ( he wanted be at my wedding to give me away,he was hardly around during childhood, i didnt want family there it was supposed to be a special day i didnt want familys arguing which i knew would happen) My mum decided not to talk with me after i said no to her being at the birth it just wasnt what i felt comfortable with. we got married at 20wks, had lots of stress through out and i kept it together, after long labour (4days) i was ready to collapse lol when he was born and i loved him instantly, but then spent 4 days in hospital as feeding wasnt established, nobody helped, they just kinda shoved his head on and seemed to think it would work, i had mastitas twice in a 6 wk period, i was living with my inlaws while we looked for a house, i was told i was on the edge of PND when he was 12 wks, i was trying hard to keep it together. I was in denial, and i told my hubby what was said and he said the Health visitor was being silly and i was fine, looking back that was my initial cry for help, actually telling him what she had said to see his reaction it wasnt what i had hoped for.
I went further into denial, and on our 1 attempt at intimacy we concieved our second son, juts 14 wks after the first was born,
I kinda panicked,i wasnt ready but i Dont believe there was another option i couldnt do that.
the pregnancy was all problems, i felt yuck about how i looked as i had put on 3st during the first pregnancy, i had the same terrible morning sickness but hubby would just have a go at me and tell me i had to eat and overlook that i felt sick all the time, it made me so frustrated, i couldnt look at food without feeling queasy. But at 9 weeks i started to bleed, and bled all through the pregnancy with no explanation. Each morning i would wake up thinking "am i going to lose the baby today" i was a mess, i became very detached adn just didnt acknoledge the pregnancy almost pretended it wasnt happening, i hated feeling the baby move, if he didnt i could ignore i was pregnant but then when he didnt i would go into silent panic ,I tried to talk to my midwife but was told what i was feeling was all normal, i had started to hat hubby by this time, i felt so angry at him, at how he mad me feel, at what he would say, when we had an argument he would try to get reactions from me, and i just wanted to walk away, but he wouldnt let me and would keep on going till i snapped and broke down, i was a mess. we found a house, brought it, and then he spent about 12 wks going over every evening and days of and weekends to see how the decoration was going and it needed at lot of work so i was left in the house with inlaws who were treating me like i was an outsider, no consideration for baby sleeping would stamp up and down the stairs during nap times, i was so overwhelmed by everything i just kept sinking and everytime i would reach out for help, i was told it was all normal and would feel i was going mad as i didnt feel normal. I didnt love the baby i was carrying, i just didnt think about him, i couldnt.
At 37 wks i tried to take an overdose, not to hurt him, but to end how i was thinking , my thoughts were going so out of control, i felt guilty i didnt lo=ve the baby. i felt bad i was so tired, i felt i had failed my marriage as it should have been for keeps, i felt i was letting my son who was just 1 down, everything i felt i was doiing i was messing up and just couldnt cope. He knew i took the pills, and after a few hours called a docter. I had been sick so i think all had come back up. I went into labour and it was like 1 am, before we went to the hospital while contractions were 3/4 miin apart and regular he decided he wanted a shower, and to make a sandwhich. I put my bag in the car i tried to put the tens machine on my self and eventually put my toddler in the car also while he was doing all he needed, i just wanted to go to the hospital. I thought if it was pregnancy and hormones then wen the babay was born, everything would be ok..
baby was born, nice healthy, and quite quick, .. I didnt feel anything for him I felt so guilty i didnt know what to do
I had him in the early morning, and was out of hospital by 11am same day i held on and kept what i thought was normal, everybody was admiring the baby, and i didnt want to go near him, hubby decided he wnated to go back and do motorcycle racing and that sent me into a real tiz . we were already as good as finished at this stage,while it was night and the kids would sleep i would lay there thinking about how i wanted to stop my thoughts, it would go over and over in my mind, towards the endof 4 weeks post partum i would almost black out when the thoughts got to much and it would always be at night or early hours. My toddler was the only person in the world i loved then, he was what kept me going, and when he slept i had no protection from my thoughts. When things blacked out, i would find myself like stepping out, i could see, but couldnt think any thoughs of mine, just watch and look. and i would see my self , do what was in my thoughts, and on the times i came close, my toddler would wake up, he was my angel, he saved me. But things came to a head at about 7 wks, when i was laying in bed, and i thought hubby would be fine without me, no hesitation there, baby, well he was young and somebody would love him like i couldnt, but my toddler.. for the brief nano second i though take him with me,i didnt think how, i was scared tomuch, scared i had thought this and called the dr myself, at 3 in the morning. it all went mad, had lots of people, all different all asking different quuestions, huby had to take 9 wks off work to look ater me, but he spent most of that time, on the computer looking at bike stuff, i didnt feel i was egetting better, i had medicationand i took it, but huby would say i was mad, and i was a nuter, and i didnt deserve the kids. I was already thinking all of this so it just copounded how i was feeling and i sank lower. I had to stay in a Mother Baby unit, and it sent me even lower, after going in on the friday,and getting upset as it was my first full day away from toddler, i was given some medication to help me calm down, when i woke up,in the morning, i found the baby had been taken from my room during the night, and i had to go look for him, i was so upset. Nobody said anything to me, no dr, nurses nobody. hubby came up with toddler who had developed a cold and was teething badly, he was soo clingy and upset. that evening, he had to be dragged away from me screaming. I went to pieces, i felt sos soo guilty i just cried i didnt know what to do. i held on tight to the baby, he was my only warmth in this place, then suddenly there was lots of people in the doorway to my room, all saying i was going to upset the baby as i was upset and they were going to take him from me. i didnt know what to do, i didnt want to let go of my baby but i couldnt keep hold of him as they were going to take him. so i put him on the bed, they took him but didnt leave me alone. end result after me throwing a cot and everything else across the room at them to keep them out was i was pinned to the floor by 6 guys and given and injection to sedate me and put on a 72 hour section.
It was cleared the next day, but i have been left with big things to do with units because of it.i couldnt leave the house, was scared people could see what i was thinking.
A few wks after this all happened, and i was still on meds, and alot of them and feeling confused, and just a mess i decided i was the only one who could sort this out, so i told hubby it was over, and stopped the meds cold turkey, it was not good but now half a yr down the line, i still see a phsyciatrist and cpn, but have not been on meds since jan and hubby and i are well and truely over and i am more me than i ever.
if i had had hubbys support im sure things would have been so very different, but whats done is done x i dont hide who i am, im to open for that. i do sometimes wish i viewed meds in a different light,but after the experience and hubbys reaction and how he would use them against me, ...
i have started karate,and kickboxing and have been doing that for nearly 2 months now, i had my first grading only a few wks ago and was so pleased, there is life after but i have gone wayyyy off topic,
The point is i dont hide behind how i feel, and i know its a little different as its postnatal
but its still an illness, that most dont understand x i have bad days nad they can be really bad but i tend to shut myself away even more and not talk to anybody,even online x
Sus
 to all x | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/5/2006 2:34:39 AM | OMG
im so sorry lol i didnt realise how much i had typed,if any mod wants to delete this pls feel free i TOTALLY understadn lol x | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/15/2006 3:52:40 AM | I am dating someone with depression (yet another). She told me pretty early on. I do not want to run.
I see all that is wonderful about her and that makes me want her all the more. However, I do not know if it will all work long term. However, I certainly would like to give it a try.
I feel that you should tell them when you think that the relationship is potentially goin' somewhere. I mean if you are just gonna hang out and shoot pool... Well, no need to tell them. However, if you think that you are goin' want a relationship with this person ... then I think that you should tell them when you feel that it is goin' there.
I have ED (erectile dysfunction). I do not tell everyone right off the bat. However, if I think that we are gonna end up in bed or I want to see them more.... I think that they should know. (an ASIDE: re: meds - thank goodness for meds for ED - before that people - you had to inject things - yes, you know where!!! for me - MEDS ROCK!!!)
You know - we are such a messed up bunch of people. Why are we all concerned about telling someone something????? That is sad. If you can not be open and honest with someone that you care about ... then what do you have????
Any way, those are my thoughts.
RE: rollercoaster and wanting off... Yeah, that might well be how I feel in the future; however - I guess I am just some sort of romantic and feel that love can conquer all.
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/16/2006 5:10:27 AM | | Depression is the darkness within, a one on one battle with oneself. If medication gives a person the ammunition they need to help them cope with life, then so be it. Depressed people need love and lots of it, they need support and understanding. Most of all they need a 'hey, i am here if you ever need me' to talk and to listen. If a person i was dating came out and told me they suffered from this disease, i would feel privilaged that they had enough trust in me to be able to speak to me about it. Too many people keep it hidden and don't talk about it, sadly some of them don't get the chance to continue their lives. | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/16/2006 5:56:28 AM | Sorry, have not read all the pages in this topic... Wanted to add that medications don't treat the cause. I am suffering from a depression, but there is a cause of my depression. I am not taking medications because I don't believe in them. They make one artificially happy; not to mention dozens of side effects (side effects are really euphemism for medical issues).
I think human body and brain works well on its own. | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/16/2006 7:21:47 AM | Who dosent have a complex?
Who out there can honestly say they dont have some chemical imballance of some kind that makes them fling poo every once in a while?
Some of us are just self aware enough to counteract the issues without medication.
So i'd say big whoop. | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/16/2006 9:01:26 AM | In the years to come we'll probably see that the depressive disorders are probably caused by environmental influences, eg. lead, mercury fillings that were put in the teeth, viruses, etc.
The stigma that the people who have depression and other mental disorders have to go thru is extraordinary.
Mercury fillings that are used to fill cavities in the teeth are considered to be "nontoxic" when put in the mouth but are considered to be "hazardous waste" elsewhere. Go figure. The only reason dentists use the mercury fillings is because they are cheap to use. | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/16/2006 9:12:08 AM | Having two family members with definite"mental illness" and a long history of advocacy for both of them. i find it interesting that when this intelligent poster brings forth a statement that, while more erudite and academic is saying exactly what the Animal was trying to point out....
Today’s patients, discontented, unhappy, fragmented and confused by an increasingly frantic, alienating and violent society, come to psychiatrists for help, only to have their illusions shored up by an increased dose of a technologic fix. They are told they have illnesses that are biologic and can be fixed, instead of being allowed to speak about their unhappiness, to speak about how difficult it is to be a human being, to speak about their suffering, because human beings have always suffered and always will. To believe that we can conquer depression, despair, anxiety with modern technology is the height of hubris and bad faith, a mere childish fantasy, unworthy of any thoughtful person who has their eyes open to human history and modern culture."
– David Kaiser, M.D. Northwestern University Hospital, Chicago, IL, Psychiatric Medications as Symptoms, February, 1997
Oddly enough, the MD, however ,doesn't come under attack for spelling it out even more blatantly than the multiply attacked "Animal".........Some people cannot survive without meds. but for anyone to be attacked for sounding the warning on wholesale "medication" of all of society's ills is wrong.
Big Pharma was thrown out of congress last year try to strong-arm congress into classifying ROAD RAGE!!!!!!!! as a DSM classified mental disorder, and GUESS WHAT, already had a pill good to go. | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/16/2006 10:04:20 AM | This is an interesting topic.....I have been in a relationship for 4 years with a wonderful, caring gentleman who suffers from depression, panic disorder, diabetes.....He has had a very hard life with lots of things thrown at him along the way......He has told me more than once he doesnt deal with problems just keeps them in so he doesnt have to deal with them......Our relationship has ended because he tells me I dont care about how he feels, I dont listen to him, but he doesnt make sense to me....I am honest and try to tell him everything....The problem is that he misinterprets things automatically....Everything is a negative to him, makes him feel insecure....Unless he is always in control and feeling like he is number one....look out...HE wants me to go to counselling to deal with my inablility to listen to him but I cant understand how he says that because it doesnt make sense to me.......He refuses to go talk to someone.....We cant make a relationship work like that......HE has told me he cares about me and wants to make it work, and he deserves to have someone love him, (he has never kept a relationship) It is very hard on the person who is trying to understand.......I will never date another person who is going through this not that I dont respect them and understand that is it not there fault just that it is to hard for me personally to fiqure out how to please them.....He does have a Dr. Jeckll Mr Hyde complex.......Moody, contrary, but he is such a good man.....It is a shame for him to be alone but that is where he is going to end up.....So people be very careful you need to have a lot of patience and maybe even try to find some info on the problem so you can try to deal with it...it is not easy......
Anyone who can help me figure this out I would really appreciate it because I dont want to give up on him........As much as I want to......Maybe I need to understand depression a little bit more, get more of his side of it.....from a different perspective.... | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/16/2006 11:32:46 AM | ^^^^^
Intense deja vu.... Wish I could offer help or hope. Is it enough to know you aren't alone?
Steve | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/16/2006 1:58:59 PM | mmmmmmmmm good subject,I have to be on the side of someone suffering from depression as I have since the age of 18,I am now 38.I was sexually abused by my grandfather from the age of 5 to 13.I kept this to myself until at the age of 18 I could no longer live with the pain in my head,the repeat nightmares and flashback.I finally admitted to having a problem and was put on prozac which I stayed on until I was 24 when I decided to come of them as I was pregnant with my son.For 4 years I coped ok without my medication until that is my ex left me after having a misscarriage,yeap you guessed it,straight down hill again,back on the medication.I then remarried and thought I could cope without these little pills so came of them again.Then the worst time of my life,I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl 4 and half years ago.6 weeks after her birth,boy did I have a breakdown or what,I got paraniod that any man going near my daughter was going to molest her and stayed in the house,wouldn't even go to the shop in fear another man would look at her.I was diagnosed with personality disorder with depressive incidents and tendancies to self harm.It got so bad I couldn't even let my husband change her nappy,and after two years of this torment the social workers got involved as they were scared as my daughter would not go near anyone(my fault)in fear of them,I had to go to a "family centre" where they would place my daughter in a nursery room with a lady who played with her while i had to watch through a two way mirror,she would just scream at the door for me and I had to stand there and watch this.The first time just for 1 minute then 2 and so on,eventually after a few months we got upto 15 minutes before she would start to miss me,WOW what an achievment this was for my daughter and me,but boy it was so hard.Then I had to learn to do this without being able to see what was going on,I had to go into the kitchen and have a coffee,I remember pacing up and down in floods of tears just wanting to run a hold my baby but I couldn't,I had to stay strong for her sake.
Anyway cut a long story short,she now attends part time nursery(without me) she is doing just fine and has lots of friends.Me I decided to come of the medication a month ago now,I feel great BUT I wont deny there will be one day when I have to go back on them,It wont just go away,My cpn has warned me that I will probably be dependant on them for the rest of my life,How true this is I don't know,but I have for 20 years on and off,and yes still suffer a little from anxiety attacks which are very frightening,but please get it outta your head that we are dangerous people that is completely another story and illness NOT DISEASE,yes I have harmed myself but never anyone else,and the last time I self harmed was over a year ago now which I am very proud of.
I have now learned that I am not ashamed to admit all this and this is why I am telling my story,If other people have a problem with it then that is upto them and there right.No I wont hide this from anyone,they have a right to know,but I do feel very uncomfortable telling this to a new partner,and when to tell them,as it is not a subject you can just blurt out on the first date,yes your partner needs to know he can trust you and if you hide it then they feel betrayed,BUT look at it from the suffers point of view,we need the trust and support of our partner,being scared as soon as you tell them then they run.This has happened to me only the once but it hurt so much. | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/16/2006 2:18:31 PM | | I dont want to leave him because of his depression anxiety.......That is what is causing a lot of our problems....I am not perfect and know I do make mistakes, but a lot of the problem stems from him and his perception of things....He wont admit that so it makes it harder to try to figure things out.........I think about his future: he is a severe diabetic who does have complications and will in the future have major ones I am sure due to the way his diabetes is....Breaks my heart to think of him as blind or having no legs trying to take care of himself alone.....NOt trying to pity him but he deserves to have someone to stick it out with him; I just cant figure out how to do it... | |
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| A hidden truth.. Depression...
Posted: 7/16/2006 2:36:36 PM | | Good story Princess Leigh. You are a strong woman - be proud of yourself. Hope your daughter's doing great these days. I myself have suffered from depression for years (after my Mom went through 3 years of ovarian cancer then died), and have been on meds the whole time. Recently, however, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which subsequently means more meds. We are not dangerous, and should not be treated differently from others. Everybody's got something going on. I agree that we can function normally on the right medication, but should not stop without a doc's help. Peace from South Florida, Ben. | |
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