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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?      Home login  
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 RustySurfer10
Joined: 6/20/2006
Msg: 26
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?Page 2 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Ponie


Every woman that I will ever date in my life could potentially die tomorrow...we never know what the next corner of our road will hold for us...but to live our lives in fear is to truly not live at all...
 Broken_Wings
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 27
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 5:13:58 AM
I agree Rusty because none of us knows what tomrrow holds for us some of us may not even be here or even here right now none of us are promised to live FOREVER and we should make the best with whatever time we DO have left, i agree on you with alot of ways you thing!
 checkin-u
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 28
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 5:56:35 AM
wow you're a busy 22 yr old......just graduated from college and just spent 8 months recovering from being shot in the military~ just wondering how you found the time.

I was married to a medic in the army, personally didn't LOVE the lifestyle, but totally supported him and his choice to serve our country. We didn't have to move around alot but the time he did spend away or in the field was quite often

I think it's very honorable to fight for our freedom, thank you to all of our men and women who do.
 **Candika**
Joined: 6/19/2006
Msg: 29
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 3:52:29 PM
RustySurfer10 my boyfriend is in the army and it is a really hard life..we have been seeing each other since January and because he is based overseas at the moment we hardly ever get to see each other. He is also being posted to Bosnia for three months which also isn't helping matters..but we prevail and am waiting for when he gets home.

Having said that, alot of women fantasize about being with a soldier, but in reality the life that they get is very different and alot just can't tolerate it. I didn't deliberatetly fall for an army guy but the way I see it, if the love is strong your relationship will last no matter what....
 **Candika**
Joined: 6/19/2006
Msg: 30
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 3:55:49 PM
Sorry this next bit got wiped off my post for some reason:

The flip side is that soldiers unfortunately have a really bad reputation for being womanisers and being unfaithful and the ones on this site don't really do much to help matters from what I can see. There are of course exceptions to those and I'm not labelling every soldier on this site with this label. But alot are after just sex and to see a woman strip naked on cam because they are thousands of miles away from their wives and can get away with it.
 Trishnaa
Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 31
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 4:06:06 PM
Yes, military men and cops scare the hell out of me.I would not even go near one, let alone date one.Maybe I'm just paranoid, but they really scare me.



~*Flavia*~
 purpleflipflops
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 32
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 4:08:27 PM
From experience, so here’s my story: I was in high school and my boyfriend at the time of two years, was being restationed in Italy. I had several options. 1. Marry him, move, and deal with living over seas while he was out to sea 6 months/longer. 2. Wait, 4 years til he came home. (Adventually restation in Japan) For 7 months later I had to decide what I was going to do. I went with option 3, let him go for good. I believe I could never be emotionally stable having someone I love gone all the time. Unlike me, my sister is strong enough to be with a military wife. Going on 5 years and 7 children later.
 flsoldier
Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 33
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 4:25:32 PM
OP, some women won't date you because you're in the military at all. Period.

Some women are cautious and will only date guys who run no risk of seeing actual combat.

I will say when I first enlisted, my military service was not a liability as far as my dating life goes. For the past few years, the amount of women willing to date a guy in the military has dropped for obvious and understandable reasons. I have been blatantly told by quite a few women that they would otherwise date me, if it weren't for the fact that I'm in the military.

I don't think you can generalize what women will or won't decide as far as your service to your country goes. Further, if a woman won't date me because I'm in the military that's her decision and one I respect. Considering what we do, the potential outcomes and the fact that we're gone for very long periods of time? I'm always surprised when any woman will actually put up with it.

It takes a very unique woman to deal with a guy who is serving in the military and to be able to cope with all that she'll have to deal with. It's not for everyone. You're going to have to accept that.

Colin
 CAT35
Joined: 6/19/2006
Msg: 34
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 4:35:13 PM
I love military guys..they are strong and confident. Military is just a profession as is any other.
 ThreeXacharm
Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 35
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 4:50:33 PM
The Military lifestyle carries (unfortunately) a stigma of "risky" when it comes to relationships. How many times have you heard "what goes TDY staysTDY"? And how often does the average Military troop go TDY?
I'm not saying all Military is like that...what I am saying is it's hard to beat the perception. It's not impossible...stick to your guns (no pun intended) because the life partner who accepts you as a Military member is indeed a trooper as well!

ThreeXaCharm
 GypsyEssence
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 36
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 5:10:51 PM
When I was 21yrs old I dated someone who entered the military after we started dating. For reasons that had nothing to do with his service we didn't remain together.

I met someone last year on another site that was and currently in the military. We discussed base transfers due to his desire to promote and what base locations meant an increased chance of being deployed to the Middle East. I basically gave him my honest opinion on what I wasn't keen on, but did tell him to do what he felt was in his best interest. We had made plans to meet in person. He went MIA when it got close to our meet date which causes me to suspect he may have been married. Wherever he is now I only wish him to be safe and the best in life.

I've spent many years around men who've had dangerous occupations(military, cops and fire) to outright discount a potentially good partner based on the fear of loss.

Life is meant to be lived and any minute someone can be gone from your life irregardless of how safe their way of life appears.
 MsMichPgh
Joined: 4/6/2005
Msg: 37
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 5:23:37 PM
My ex was in the military - and I would be more than happy to settle down with a military man again! I think men in uniform are the best, and I don't have a problem with the travelling. There is something special about anyone that is willing to lay their life on the line to protect our country. Semper Fi!
 Mike J. W.
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 38
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WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 5:25:35 PM
Speaking from OBSERVATIONS that I made of married and engaged men that were in the Navy and that served along with me while we were stationed overseas in such countries / nations as Bahrain, Sicily, Japan, and Diego Garcia, I can tell you that yes, some marrried men do stray a bit while they are stationed overseas. However, the same can be said of married women that are left behind in the states as well. I never got married while I was in the military (still not married even though I retired a year ago) because I was of the worrying kind and I knew that I would be constantly thinking about this topic while I was stationed overseas. But the thing that you said above is definitely true because both partners need to know who they are married or engaged to while one person (or even the two of them) are in the military and serving overseas or they are on deployment. If you can discuss this very important topic in a completely honest way with your spouse, finance, or girlfriend, then you are definitely headed down the right path. I have seen weak marriages fail and strong marriages succeed in the military, but that can be said of marriages outside of the military as well.
 NightWhisper1980
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 39
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 5:47:15 PM
I dont believe the majority of women shy away from military men. These days it seems that its so hard to date and have an honest and truthful relationship. If you trust eachother from day one things will work out even if you are far away for a long period of time.
 **Candika**
Joined: 6/19/2006
Msg: 40
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 5:48:22 PM
Trishnaa well Im a cop as well so looks like me and him are well suited lol
 RustySurfer10
Joined: 6/20/2006
Msg: 41
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 8:28:27 PM
I guess I just don't like the fact that my career is a reason to discriminate me, but then again, we are all discriminated against for much less so, eh. I was just curious what the women on this board thought about dating military men.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 42
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WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 8:33:49 PM
I would not shy against a military man. Many of them do interesting jobs for our country.

With this said, let's support our troops. Whether we are for or against the war in Iraq, let's pray that our troops come home safely and let's support them.

DW
 rubberduckette
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 43
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 10:16:41 PM
Well I have always had a thing for men in the military but have mostly had bad luck.From what I have seen was alot of alcoholics that didn't wanna be in a a 1 on 1 relationship or they said they did til they went on training or something to that effect.
 crimsonstreet
Joined: 2/18/2006
Msg: 44
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WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 10:21:27 PM
Rustysurfer10 - I was enlisted in the navy’s delayed entry program for almost a year and I know that no one was even interested in me. Yet I digress. I am a woman that has learned what it would be like to serve your country and I almost did as a nuclear engineer. Personally, I think that being involved with a military guy is putting your self in a difficult situation. If you get to close to them and they die you will feel really hurt. They have constant pay and its pretty good considering that while serving they don’t need to pay for room or board. The training is the best in the world (or so they say). The United States navy was going to send me to school to be a nuclear engineer. That’s a job that pays big once you enter the civilian world. Nuclear power companies have resorted to "stealing" nuclear engineers from the navy because they are trained so well. (By stealing I mean that when the engineers reenlistment comes due the company offers the engineer more money than they could make with the navy). It gives discipline, and teaches respect. On the down side, enlisted men are away for months at a time. Another negative is that they are always in harms way. They are held to a code of standards that ordinary people are not. I guess what I’m trying to say is that when people are confronted with choosing between staying with some one they care about and being the one who gets the two officers at their door to tell them their loved one has died, most people don’t want to deal with it.

The hardships of a solider are not left on the battlefield. They travel to the families of those who serve, in forms of the same fear, pain, and sorrow. The military is not simply a job it is in fact a way of life for the enlisted men and their family.

I dont know if this will help you.
Personally, I would date a enlisted solider. All the hardships are worth someones love.

-Ang.
 drew_d2
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 45
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 10:33:16 PM
Yeah, well, there are a lot of negatives about dating someone in the military. It seems like a lot of military people drink/smoke to get away from life. Also, women can get burned easy because a lot of men want to get married for extra benefits. Another thing is that their personalities change. You also have to be away from them for a while. The work is risky. You don't know what the future holds. The troubles of the after math of war. Even if you aren't injured some of the mental issues that occur can be pretty devestating. There's a ton of reasons why people shy away.
-Drew-
 butterflygrrl29
Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 46
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 10:40:38 PM
Cheating is very big in the military. Many (OBVIOUSLY NOT ALL) military members feel that what happens on course/exercise or in theatre stays there, which is pathetic and sad. This is very well known and I am sure that is why many people don't want to settle down with military members.

Also, military members go away/move around quite a bit. The job can be very dangerous. Who wants to become a widow/widower?
 IIHONEST
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 47
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 10:45:52 PM
I would be open to it.. but i would like to know him before he was a military man.. or it would have to be an amazing connection...I personally think men in the miltary are sexy! hugs
 smoochiegal
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 48
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WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/24/2006 11:30:36 PM
hahahaha NO it is not cos u travel alot (well not my cause for concern). I have a lot of friends in the army who are great guys but with regards to women and the way they treat them ...NO THANKS lol. I think it's the guys that go into the army who do so cos they know there really isn't any other place for them (ie they have no quals and lack in social skills to get any other decent job) are the guys that give squaddies a bad name if I'm honest. It does make me laugh though when guys go on tour and within literally 3 days of being away they're like dogs on heat. Some even come home and go out to the local bars and fights start out with them and other groups of ppl I do recon it's the younger military guys though. I also hate it when men who are on tour for months at a time feel sorry for themselves and make excuses for their behaviour as if my life and what I do isn't as important cos I'm not in some war ravaged country I'm like get over it u are the one who signed up for it. I think women are also worried that the men have women like at different places they're stationed at. Like it isn't uncommon for attached ppl in the army to have affairs with each other either and I'm sorry but do u know the amount of squaddies I have seen online over the past yr or so who are blaitantly attached and just coming on sites like these for entertainment whilst on tour or whatever. It makes me ask ...why aren't they asking their partners to cam or send them saucy pics.

However on a happy note I still have hope for the decent men in the army and myself commited to a guy who was in the army of a diff country at one point. There is even a guy I know now who is in the British army who I even may possibly go out with if things went well when we meet
So in answer to your question I think it is a small majority or military guys with a mixture of your stereotype for having more than one woman on the go which puts women off a lil. It isn't an easy thing either knowing someone u love could be going away for months and even u being faithful for them to come home and maybe not even feel the same way about u.

xjx
 moondance56
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 49
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/26/2006 12:31:08 PM
One of my ex'es was, & my Daughter-in-law only gets lonely when my son's overseas. But she stays with him!
Don't give up!
May you have all the peace love and happiness you desire....
moondance56
 visserm
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 50
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/26/2006 2:25:36 PM
It may have been said already, I didn't read every post in this topic.
I think (smart) women should be afraid to commit to military men.
I am an ex-soldier, and I know first hand how many soldiers, especially marines, who have a different women in every port - literally - and they promise each one how faithfull they are going to be, yada yada yada.
Thats one side of it, the other side is developing emotions for someone who is in a very dangerous occupation (especially Americans who get sent to Iraq). Why would you want to become strongly attached to someone who has a high likelihood of being disabled or killed?
I am glad I spent time in the service of my country (Canada) - mainly because I could do something for others in this world (peacekeeping) and also for what I learned, but I am also glad that I am out and have moved on to much bigger and better things.
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