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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?      Home login  
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 marshw
Joined: 8/9/2005
Msg: 176
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?Page 8 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Well let's see.
1. You may not come home from work alive.
2. You may get shipped overseas for 2 years.
3. You don't make enough money to own a home.
I'm thinking that whole bleak looking future thing may be an issue for a woman. Those first two are the reason I won't get involved with a female soldier.
Meanwhile keep your spirits up as best you can and thank you for guarding our country.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 177
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WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 3/6/2007 8:50:00 AM
My ex is military... he wasn't when we started dating, joined about 9-10 mo after we started dating actually. Spent 10 yrs with him. I wouldn't conciously seek out a military man, but I certainly wouldn't shy away from it. Actually I find I am most attracted to men who are in the services, or have served. It does something to them.. makes them strong of character.

The thing is.. military life sucks for the families. Pay is low (don't you think these people should be paid better??? after all.. look at what they risk..), housing conditions suck, and there can be a real lack of respect for what they do. I did 2 tours with him (gone for 6 1/2-7 mo each time) and it did not once ever cross my mind that I should be anything other then 100% faithful to him. We were married, had children, I took my vows very seriously, as I would with ANY man.

In today's world tho, it's not just the military that risk their lives when they walk out the door. Think about it. We all do. Any one of us could be killed on the way to work during our morning commute. Anyone could be killed because a crazed co-worker who got fired yesterday came back to the office/store to get back at those they perceived did them wrong. Let's not mention the risks we take living in less developed parts of the world where the value of human life is next to nothing. Steve Irwin was killed in a freakish accident doing what he loved to do the most. Sh*t happens to ALL of us at any point, and I'm not going to say no to the possibility of finding a relationship with someone wonderful just 'cause their job is dangerous. Fire fighters, police, EMT/Paramedics, military... thankless jobs that not many are willing to take on.

Thank you to those currently serving, those that have, and those that are considering it in the future. We are who we are, and have what we have thanks to the blood, sweat and tears of these people. They deserve so much more then a simple *thank you*.
 vanillacream2006
Joined: 9/11/2006
Msg: 178
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 3/6/2007 3:49:53 PM
I agree with marsh!

I understand military men are fighting for our country and hey, Thank you, but I don't date them because I don't want to go through the pain of him dying or waiting for him to come home in one piece. Look on the good side, it doesn't mean all women wouldn't date a millitary men, there is just some of us that want to spare the pain.
 jardinero
Joined: 11/29/2006
Msg: 179
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 3/6/2007 4:59:43 PM
I want a man that makes LOVE not WAR

just my 2 cents
 chloebug
Joined: 1/8/2007
Msg: 180
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 3/6/2007 9:06:46 PM
I personally don't have a problem with dating a man in the military. I grew up in the Air Force, so I kinda know what it's like. If I was dating someone in the military, there's no reason why I couldn't contact him daily. I have a friend over in Iraq right now, and I email him every day. He appreciates hearing from "the outside world." If I had the chance, I'd definately date a military man.
 sweetone1978
Joined: 2/19/2007
Msg: 181
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 3/7/2007 1:47:16 PM
My ex fiance is over in Iraq right now. Although things did not work out between him and I, I am still very close to his family and I know what is going on with him even if he doesn't want me to know. I still care about him and love him. I pray not only for his safe return but for the safe return of all the men in his unit. If I had a chance, I would definately date a military man regardless of my past experience.
 hunni38
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 182
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 3/7/2007 2:19:07 PM
I am from army background with my dad being in the army and then I married into the army. I have two sons who are doing their training now. I know that a lot of women dont like to settle with military men as they do have bad reputations for shagging about when away from home! Theres also the issue of men being away from home so much. For me I was brought up in the army so I knew what I was letting myself in for, but for some women who have no idea, its a scary thought. I have great respect for military men and I love a man in uniform!!!!!!
 Horsekel06
Joined: 6/14/2007
Msg: 183
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 1/1/2008 12:00:09 PM
some just dont want to deal with the fact yall might not come back.....but ill say i dont care the love of my life is a Marine so lol, some of us love you guys more then more then anything......
 Diff360
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 184
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 1/1/2008 12:19:49 PM
Having spent 3 years in the navy and dated/was married to a navy guy for 5 years, I can say I will never get involved with a military guy. I know that army and airforce are different, but quite frankly, I am not taking that chance.

I respect the work that is done. But the behaviour of both men and women is atrocious. The percentage that cheat on their significant others makes me wish I was 12 years old again and didn't know any better. That also increases the percentage that contract STD's. Not to mention, the navy tends to breed alcoholics.

Don't get me wrong, there are several men and a few women who are very devoted to their families and significant others and I admire them for it. But I have seen guys who are sweet and devoted at home behave very badly in foreign ports. I am just not willing to take the risk with my heart or my health.
 lela_haha
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 185
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 1/1/2008 12:28:11 PM
I don't date military men because I need to see my man at least most of the week. Or else I will lose interest in the relationship. I couldn't handle the distance when there gone for months. The traveling would drive me crazy. And I'm against war so I wouldn't want any man of mine going to fight in a war they might die in. I like to wake up knowing my man be alive and well. Not around trigger happy nuts.
 RIGHT WING!
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 186
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 1/5/2008 11:47:51 AM
I think you're afraid to say you've made a few mistakes too.
 Jessie213
Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 187
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 1/5/2008 12:17:56 PM
My best friend is a military man, and his wife is an amazing military wife. She is supportive, and waits patiently for his arrival home.

I myself am not afraid to marry/date a military man. If you have a solid relationship, there should be no fear of cheating, because you would be true to each other.

As far as the traveling all over, and fighting over seas, I would be honored to be with someone who is fighting for our country. It is the most noble of all professions. I would be honored to be the woman he loves, and would support him no matter what.
 QTpye16
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 188
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 1/5/2008 12:33:55 PM
RustySurfer10,

It seems like a lot of women these days shy away from dating a man in the military...is that because we travel constantly?

I have to say that is true for some women, I know for myself. I was engaged to a military man, very hardly got to see him, so I broke the engagement. I just can't deal with not being able to see man often....maybe every other week, but not 3+ months at a time.
 PrimeWoman
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 189
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WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 1/5/2008 12:54:04 PM
OP--
1) I am a vet. So when I tell you that I value, respect and salute you for what you have done, and are contemplating, know it is sincere.

2) I was married to a military man, first as an enlisted member myself, and eventually as a civilian. It takes a special person to cope with military life. While there are romantic notions about a "man in uniform", the practical realities are sobering. The spouse of a armed services member has to have a strong sense of patriotism, a willingness to embrace moves and changes, an understanding of priorities--DUTY first, a certain ability to be independent and self-reliant, and acceptance of the increased potentiality of physical disability, mental wounding or death as a hard fact of one's daily thoughts if deployed.

3) The temptations, to even those with the most highly developed maturity level, character and integrity, on ones romantic commitment and loyalty can be sorely tested by either partner, and the difficulties in relational maintenance are magnified due to the nature of the armed services beast. Couple that with a persistent general characterization of military men of being authoritarian womanizing alcoholics, it does not create an ideal palpability for considering becoming a "dependent" (never could warm up to that term).

I DO have to say, that I knew plenty of military men who were truly decent husbands, or singles that had the potential to be. They had to maintain a basic physical fitness level and reasonable body weight, and they made the bed. lol

God Bless you.
 newmexicoleo
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 190
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:02:03 AM
A lot of women shy away from a military man because they don't like the idea of separation and moving every two or three years. It is a hard life for those who are living it, but if a woman cannot accept the fact that deployment does happen when her man is in the service, then she should not get involved with a servicemember. And the same thing goes for men who are involved with a woman in the service. Some men do not like to be away from their girlfriend or wife while she is deployed, so the situation is the same for both men and women. The point is that most women or men shy away from the servicemembers because of the fear of their loved one being deployed for a year or two and worrying about if their spouse will be waiting for them when they return. Also, if there are children involved, the idea of taking them away from their friends makes military life harder. However, some men and women do like the military lifestyle and there are plenty of couples where the husband or wife are in the service that their marriages have lasted a long time. It's a matter of taking the good with the bad.

I am not afraid to settle down with a servicemember because I am very supportive of those who answer the call of duty. Right now, I am talking to a good friend who is in the Army and he seems like a decent guy. The issue of him wearing a uniform does not bother me because I see the man inside the uniform and not the man wearing the uniform.

Good luck, you will find a woman who will see you for you and be supportive of your call of duty.
 Call me Ginny
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 191
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:13:17 AM
OP, First of all, Rusty, I want to thank you for your service. There's a line from a movie, "I support them because they stand on a wall and say, 'Not on My Watch,' so I can sleep safe at night."


It seems like a lot of women these days shy away from dating a man in the military...is that because we travel constantly? Just looking for some input, trying to get a feel for what the majority thinks.


There will be someone for you. Everyone has hurdles they have to jump to find what they desire. You are learning to jump much more difficult hurdles every day, I'm sure. Be patient.

And please, stay safe young man.


.
 bbydolly
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 192
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:36:01 AM
me i would only date military man BUT i will never ever get married into 1
 janie_ttt
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 193
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WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:12:22 AM
Heck, no, I would LOVE to find one!! Lived that way once before, and I miss it!
 Magnus Maximus
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 194
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:28:16 AM
Well let's see.
1. You may not come home from work alive.
2. You may get shipped overseas for 2 years.
3. You don't make enough money to own a home.
I'm thinking that whole bleak looking future thing may be an issue for a woman. Those first two are the reason I won't get involved with a female soldier.
Meanwhile keep your spirits up as best you can and thank you for guarding our country.


1. It can happen to anyone, accident down the road, accident at work....
2. Some companies might also do this.... I my field I get shipped around the country all the time. For now it is just my state, but in reality it could be anywhere in the east coast.
3. Are you sure about that? Hell I have friends that are Enlisted and make 4-6 Grand a month and they are barely an E5. It does varies with mission and other things you might know. For example, just for knowing Spanish, you get 200 extra dollars a month. Might not seem much, but hey it is 200 bucks, without any extra work. Also anything above you base income is TAX free.

What about officers? They make pretty good money.
 david46
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 195
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:37:07 AM
Im a retired Soldier, I would definetly settle down with a Female soldier, she can be transfered anywhere they send her, I would gladly go and support her.
 fancy free 26
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 196
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WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/23/2009 4:05:31 PM
Date a military man...absolutely if he had the important qualities that I look for. Just because someone is in the military shouldn't mean that I will totally disreguard them as a man that I would date. But then again I am just one person and personally am very attracted to military men for many reasons and then I am a girl raised in a family that has served in many differant branches.I have a very deep respect for anyone that has been or is in the military.
 fancy free 26
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 197
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WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/23/2009 4:11:26 PM
I don't date military men because I need to see my man at least most of the week. Or else I will lose interest in the relationship

If this is what happens when you don't see "your man" then you don't love him and shouldn't be together anyways.
 FULLFIGMAAM
Joined: 6/17/2009
Msg: 198
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/23/2009 4:39:04 PM
I'm not afraid of a military man at all, as long as I implicitly trusted him.
I don't mind times away from a loved one at all, though would probably be really scared for him/us, if he were in the Middle East.
Much love, and well wishes to all of the folks in the military. M
 eastendwoman
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 199
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:18:20 PM
I'd love to end up with a military man. It would be like a brand new honeymoon when he returns on leave.
 tracymalibu78
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 200
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WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:25:20 PM
I have heard this from other military men. That is a shame. Well, I have a lot of respect for those in the military. My mother and father were both in so.....
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