| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/24/2006 9:33:38 PM | Sometimes people can't admit that they've aged, gained weight or have changed so they post a picture when they felt good about themselves or no picture at all. They may have self image issues that they are dealing with and can't come to grips with the reality of "we just aren't 20 anymore."
We've all seen the shows on TV that showcase what people will go through to achieve the current standard of beauty which is youth, large breasts, and being thin. Mutilation of your body is not what I would consider to be good for your health, so I won't have plastic surgery to conform to a standard of "beauty." I know several people that have had gastric bypass, and 2 of the 4 would not ever do it again. They've dropped well over a hundred pouds each, but the quality of life they have after surgery, plus additional complications frm the surgey has altered their lives for the worse. I am concerned about the long term effects of such a radical operation because there are no long term studies that I'm aware of. I don't want to die trying to acheive society's ideal of beauty. The most radical thing I do for myself is dye my hair.
I'm a big woman, I don't hide that fact, my pics are current, and I'm confident in myself. If I don't light that spark in your eyes when you look at me, just keep searching until you find that person that will curl your toes. If and when I do find that guy that can see me as beautiful, and appreciate me for being special, I'll stop looking. I know I'm not most men's cup of tea. I'm just looking for that one that can. | |
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| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/24/2006 9:35:11 PM | Gorshkov
"Beauty never fades . . . . it just changes form."
Spoken like a poet. Let's face it - very few of us older folks look as good as we did in our younger days. However, I think that an attractive woman is always attractive. As she becomes older, she begins to look regal!
Many things on her body may have traveled south, but so have mine. My chest slipped a long time ago. Gravity affects us all.
A nice cleavage on any woman gets me interested in seeing the rest of her "attributes". That is enticing to me.
As long as everything works, and we can enjoy each other's company and "assets", everything should be just fine.
BTW: I still enjoy doing the same things with an older woman that I did with a younger one. Modern medicine has made our sex lives much more interesting and enjoyable in our later years.
Ron
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vinsim
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Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 28 | |
| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/25/2006 3:44:53 AM | Thanks for the response which was good!
I accept that personality is more important than looks and in the UK we have a sayinng 'Beauty is only skin deep.' which confirms the point that many of you have made. I also accept that men are quilty of exaggerating profiles. We are all advertising ourselves and we
try to portray ourselves in the best possible light.
We don't all have good looks and some of us age faster than others - (an 80 year old said to me once 'You men annoy me, you don't age like us women!' however she had the personality to keep the conversation interesting and she was good company)
It all about honesty. Without trust how can you form a long and loyal friendship? All relationships need a sparkle, sharing, being friends as opposed to husband and wife, even flirting with each other. You are what you are and we all like different personalities.
For those of you who feel life has been unkind I've found in my time that the most attractive alluring and seductive women have been boring, useless and self centered but again that might suit you - each to his own. At the end of the day we all have a chance whether we recognise it or not well........
Just to keep the debate going - some sites ask people to list their faults. Any thoughts on that?!!!! | |
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| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/25/2006 12:14:58 PM | ...vinsom,
Your comments directed to "us woman", might have been taking more kindly if presented in a nicer fashion. No one likes to be referred to as .."mutton". As for your comment about not wanting to sound like a prude, well didn't quite come out the way you wanted it then. There
isn't anything wrong with the ladies showing a bit of cleavage or showing some leg. Its entirely up to them, no one is forcing you to look.
Note of interest: Wanted to check your recent photos, but could not bring up your profile | |
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| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/25/2006 2:19:17 PM | | well, statistics show the average person is 20 pounds overweight.........so I guess a pic of a person with some extra weight does honestly classify as average. | |
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| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/25/2006 2:35:35 PM | The problem with current photos is certainly not specific to women! Let's be fair. Pictures can be misleading in more ways than one, and selected to represent/misrepresent not only age or beauty, but lifestyle or financial status as well. Some men seem proned to use the latter for lack of the former....in the way this thread accuses women of showing breasts and legs, advertising mutton as lamb!
Worse than an outdated picture of a man is one featuring his car/boat/hunting trophy/house/dog- anything he has deceived himself to believe represents him more than his face. Just as bewildering are pics of men at various exotic travel destinations...their distant form barely visible against the backdrop of the Eiffel Tower, tropical beach, mountainscape, golf resort or giant Buddha! - which, unless it's an invitation to join him there, is definitely counter-productive and totally useless for discerning whether or not there could be any physical attraction to the actual man.
And worse than misleading photos is the man who places no photo at all....these are invariably the ones who write proposing an immediate "hook-up" based on a scanty profile, while requesting more pics of me and complaining that no women are ever who they present themselves to be. It's laughable. I broke my rule against meeting anyone without a photo...only once. For someone who had criticised every woman he'd managed to convince to meet him...for every conceivable physical flaw...the guy was a total mess- and nothing close to his description of himself!
A pic may be worth a thousand words...but no number of words can camouflage a deceptive character. Physical beauty may not top the list on the things I find attractive in a particular man. But some physical attraction is required. If he's poorly groomed, out of shape, in need of dental care and smells badly.....nothing in this world will seduce my interest in the rest of him. And no amount of money, no number of degrees, no gift of wine 'n roses can make up the difference.
At the same time, beauty can be both a blessing and a beast! Sometimes an alluring picture prevents a guy from seeing the woman within with any clarity or respect for who she is as a person. It's hard to seduce his mind when his eyes are glued to my cleavage. Harder to win his heart when he can't see/hear past the physical to learn that which is truly beautiful within me. All in all, pictures will never do justice to the person (man or woman) and most people are more attractive in real life-in motion, talking, walking, gesturing, breathing....presenting the sum of ourselves.
"Beauty may be only skin deep- but ugly is to the bone!"
And it appears we'll all need a sense of humor to navigate online dating. | |
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| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/25/2006 2:54:43 PM | [pretending to be younger than you look especially when you show breasts and legs.]
Don't you know that the breasts and legs are the LAST thing to go!!!  | |
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| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:25:49 PM | | Goes both ways, lots of men on here with older pics. Or those pics with the cap on so you can't see that their bald. Don't you think we are going to see that when you show up for the date?(not that there's anything wrong with being bald). lol I always keep mine up to date. | |
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| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/25/2006 11:25:11 PM | | there was a song in the 60's that said...IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE NEVER MAKE A PRETTY WOMAN YOUR WIFE. i have found so much truth to that song. after my wifes death i dated a few very nice looking women and i found out that the inter beauity is so much more attractive than the outer beauity. | |
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| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/25/2006 11:48:33 PM | | IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE NEVER MAKE A PRETTY WOMAN YOUR WIFE BUT IF YOU WANT TO BE EXTATIC FOR A WEEKEND NOTHING BEATS A HOT BABE. | |
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| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/26/2006 1:53:09 AM | | well this photo of me was taken 2 yrs ago i havent changed that much iether im now 54 and proud of it but what ever happened to beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder xx | |
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| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/26/2006 9:04:11 AM | I have to agree that all of us have some presonal flaw that we would like to change. oh well I just can't snap my fingers and make it go away. What You and others have to relize is that some people take losy pic. If what people are really lookinf for is to meet someone the can connect with IE. why were on this site, cut folks a little slack. For myself I would like to find a friend or friends just to talk to. Any one agree? | |
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vinsim
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Joined: 6/26/2006
Msg: 41 | |
| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/26/2006 9:45:29 AM | Hellow maeflowers.
Profile up and running for you to throw stones at!.
Quite seriously I accept what you say - there is nothing wrong with showing some cleavage and leg if done in an elegant way - when your younger you can get away with anything. Some women forget that they might need to present themselves in a different way to give off their best according to their build and looks. Some of them would do better if they took more pride in their appearance. However, that's just my opinion. I'm just trying to suggest how they can help themselves to attract the opposite sex.
Hope you find what you're looking for
Best wishes
vinsim | |
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KoiBoi
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Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 42 | |
| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/26/2006 10:10:53 AM | my personal experience is nobody is looking for a woman of a certain age, or who's body shows the ravages of time.
They are also not looking for what you looked like 20 years ago.
Rules of thumb for men looking at photos:
1. IF the primary shot if b00bs or waist down reclining in a nightie, bring Milk Bones to your first date.
2. IF the primary or only shot was taken at Glamour Shots, know that she only looked like that one time and don't expect that you will be meeting that woman. Unless she has hired the makeup man and light guy, she will never look like that again.
3. IF the primary photo is a toy, a doll, a pet..... see #1 above.
4. IF every photo is badly out of focus, you can bet she is wrinkled and think sshe is hiding it.
Ladies, do you want the first interaction with a man to be a lie? How many posts have there been about men posting older or fake photos and you all say we are despicable for doing it.
If you are showing me your t!ts in your online photos, be prepared to show them to me in real life, because that's what you are advertising.
Believe it or not, REAL men enjoy a little class..... | |
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| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/26/2006 10:28:15 AM | | If a woman takes care of herself, and tries to exhibit some dignity, she is condemned for being vain, shallow, a prude, and a phony. If she accepts aging as nature intended, she is condemned for letting herself go. If she just has some fun with her appearance and shows a little skin, she is condemned for not acting her age and labeled a harlot. Seems as though mature woman just can't win. | |
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| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/26/2006 10:56:07 AM | Wee said. But M'dear, in your case I think you could wear a burlap bag and have a tough time looking doudy and old! :) :)
I noted your bio comments. What drives your interest in wolves and their habitat? Please don't tell me you think they are harmless misunderstood little puppies. Just came back from a wilderness canoe trip. I'm reasonably familiar with them in real life. Did you have a specific question about them or a general interest? | |
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| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/26/2006 11:17:32 AM | Photo. Mine is from last year. The only change is my hair is a little greyer and shorter.
I'm still a balding, squinty-eyed, glassess wearing, moustached, grinning fool.
There ya are world! Take it or leave it. (sounds of running feet)
Oh well. | |
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| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/26/2006 11:34:04 AM |
Quite seriously I accept what you say - there is nothing wrong with showing some cleavage and leg if done in an elegant way - when your younger you can get away with anything. Some women forget that they might need to present themselves in a different way to give off their best according to their build and looks. Some of them would do better if they took more pride in their appearance. However, that's just my opinion. I'm just trying to suggest how they can help themselves to attract the opposite sex.
Everyone is an individual with free will; they're allowed to show whatever they want to within legal bounds. Those who judge someone based on a picture may just be missing out on something pretty special. Have you never heard the saying 'Don't judge a book by it's' cover'? And how about the one that goes 'Practice what you preach'? ;) | |
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| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/26/2006 11:49:42 AM | Hey Blaze! I have to agree with you on the point of not meeting unless you have a pic........ how on earth would you know who you are meeting?
I have had a couple of replys to my Profile... but alas.. mostly come up with " I have a high sex drive, can you handle it?" 
And yes.. my pic is a year old.. I HATE having my pic taken, but the only thing different is that my hair is now shorter! | |
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| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/26/2006 12:07:00 PM | My photo is from last summer. When I send someone a face photo is from last month. I believe you just get better with age.  | |
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katlin
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Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 49 | |
| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/26/2006 12:30:29 PM | vinism; I agree....the same with men. Mine is not in here, because it's almost 3 yrs old, and when you are .........middle age, a year can make a big dif. Unless you can afford cosmetic surgery, Botox, or whatever, looks seem to change faster. Damn wrinkles and loss of inches, change your body. I know where my ...almost 2" went.....scrunched in the middle, and it's a bear to try to get rid of....I know, because I'm working on it.
When I'm finished, I'll submit a new picture......laughing here, whenevver that is.....probably posing with a walker. sighhhhhl Never say Die....ewhhhh
Katlin | |
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katlin
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Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 50 | |
| Photos and the older person!
Posted: 6/26/2006 12:38:07 PM | It works both ways, koiboi.
I guess if a flawless complexion, big boobs, tiny waist, and perfect teeth is what you really want......hey, it's your choice ( meaning anyone's choice ), but beware, such a person is going to be high maintenence for the parts mentioned above and more. If you don't mind, it don't matter. So shut up Kath. Ok, I'm saying to myself.
Katlin | |
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