| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 6/25/2006 7:59:11 PM | Evermind: That was really sweet.I think you are the rarest breed.Nice to know men who think that way exist.
~*Flavia*~
Okay...yea psycologist...or whatever you please...... | |
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| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:05:25 PM | the only reason i say that flava is becuase theres a big diffence
phsiciatrist's back in the day usta be pill poopers and psychologist's
but in this day n age they gave up on the psychology part of it(most of them)
now they just sit ya down listen to ya for 2 mins. and say take these pills | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 28 | |
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:05:45 PM | OP,
You can always say, "honey, everyone looks good in candle light" and start her off slowly. A little tea light at first far away ... and in 6 months, you can install flood lights and a mirror on the ceiling. | |
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| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:07:52 PM | | arri's idea is pretty good too maybe start her off with her bra and short shorts or maybe just a skimpy shirt and get her to walk around like that and make her feel comfortable then slowly reduce the amount of fabric | |
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| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:09:39 PM | Have you've actually told how important it is to you and why? Say it in similar words to your post - your words show how much you care about her. If you've already talked about it, and she's still inhibited, there's a couple of things you can do.
There's always the therapy route, but the best thing in that case might be couples-counselling. It could lead to a breakthrough, if it's a psychological problem rooted in some kind of trauma.
But her problem might not be so much as sexual thing as a nudity thing. Some people were simply never exposed (no pun intended) to a lot of nudity when they were growing up, so they're not comfortable with it.
I know some people are going to think I'm kidding with this advice, but I'm serious: get naked and walk around the house. Don't make a big deal of it, just do it. I grew up in a household that consisted of my mother, grandmother, two sisters and poor dad. Needless to say, there was no nudity, and until I met my husband, I was very shy. He loved to be naked, and not just in a sexual way. It took a while, but it just became so common to see him wander around in the buff, that I got very comfortable about nudity for myself as well.
If at all possible, get her to go with you (or some female friends, if that would give her courage) to a nude or clothing-optional beach. For the most part, the people there are just ordinary people of all ages, shapes and sizes who are comfortable in their own skin. There's no posing or staring. She won't have to get naked herself, but just seeing a lot of ordinary people might give her a different perspective.
That's for later, though. Try the naked thing. It's better than giving up on someone you love, or being unhappy yourself. Good luck. | |
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| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:17:53 PM | | this may sound wrong or maybe it is wrong; but i would think of someway to accidently see her ; like maybe in the shower or something ; and be sure to tell her oh honey i am so sorry please forgive me ; than after she thinks about it awhile maybe she will think well he still here and he has seen me naked so i need to ease up on this some ; hey sounds to me like u r on your way out ; so give it a try what do u have to lose ; but it might make thing worst to ; so be sure to think it over good luck | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 34 | |
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:22:00 PM |
I know some people are going to think I'm kidding with this advice, but I'm serious: get naked and walk around the house. Don't make a big deal of it, just do it.
Just be careful where you sit. You don't want to leave a wet spot behind 
This is really not a good idea. She has to come around on her own. This is obviously some insecurity or a moral dilemma for her. You have to breakdown her inhibition slowly.
Also, as much as I value communication, please disregard any advice that recommends talking. Often talking is the last thing you want to do ... nobody wants to be put in a position to HAVE to choose something. I am sure she knows that you want to see her naked and you have commented once or twice. If that didn't do it, don't push. Manipulate instead. Stop during sex when she is least expecting and light a few nice candles, be creative ... | |
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| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:22:19 PM | Sure hope no boyfriend of mine will never bring our private life onto a public forum. Wonder what your girlfriend must think of you bringing something so confidential and private for all eyes to read.
You sound like someone that has no respect. | |
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| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:28:20 PM |
This is really not a good idea. She has to come around on her own. This is obviously some insecurity or a moral dilemma for her. You have to breakdown her inhibition slowly.
It's a better idea than giving up.
Like I said, it depends of the reason behind her inhibition (the OP would know better than us). If it is a moral dilemma or some kind of trauma, no it won't be a good idea. If she's just not used to nudity, it is. It worked for me. | |
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| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:30:31 PM | Man I am not sure what to say here though I have been with a woman that was treated very badly sexually as a child and a teenager. She still has things to work out and I do agree that she needs help of some sort. Taking pills is not a bad thing in moderation and as a temporary solution. And it may not be because of any sexual abuse but could be mental abuse or both either way she needs to want to get help to have it successful and you being there will help. I know some of what you are feeling because I to am a very patient man and will try what I can to make a relationship work or work better. Telling her that if she does not seek help or you will leave will not help her though she does need to know how you feel though be gentle you don't need her feeling backed into a wall either. I hope this does help I tried not to reply like the others because this is an option and advice given to you freely and hope the best for you and your girlfriend. Look into all three kinds of counselling before chosing the one because you may need more then one type.
Later   | |
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| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:34:02 PM | | Your girlfriend obviously needs some counseling for her low self-esteem, anxiety, and body-image concerns! If you have gone with her for 3 years, and can't get her to "open up", she won't do it on her own. It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself or feel you failed her in any way. She is beyond the normal modesty level some women have. Best of Luck with her ; maybe you can try to meet someone else and tell her why you need to do that! | |
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| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:35:39 PM | She still has things to work out and I do agree that she needs help of some sort. The first part is my ex and the second part your girlfriend. It should have read "She still has things to work out and I do agree the your girlfriend needs help of some sort." Sorry if that confused you.
Later | |
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| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:36:08 PM | well u could always role play, get a lil miners hat with a flashlight omn it
lol seriously dude get some candles in ur bedroom and tell her itll b dark but just enuf of a haze so u can see her
or accidentally start eating her belly button n says oops wrong hole u cant make it out in the dark lol
ive heard of that b4 but onl from women with scars or big time stretch marks
if ya eat more carrots thatll help ya see in the dark too btw  | |
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| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:39:31 PM | | Wow.....sweeteddybear.....you also sound like a wonderful patient guy....I am sure with your patience and time....things will work out for ya!! | |
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| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:49:08 PM | Compromise~ tell her she can keep her shirt or nightie on while you have a morning quickie or a daytime interlude. Most importantly show her your post. Let her see how much it means to you that she trusts you enough to see her naked and that you will still love her. Tell her it is her inside that counts but that you still like to lay naked next to her, to feel skin on skin, to become as close to her physically as you are emotionally to her. Failing that get her naked at 9pm and then satisfy her so much that she is exhausted and cannot move enough to get re-dressed, then in the morning you will see her naked and can show her how much her body turns you on and then your problem is solved. But seriously after 3 years the relationship boundaries have been set already, hard to change the habits. Worse thing a man can do is think that they are reassuring their girlfriend and telling her they love her and the way she looks yet still looking over their shoulder at other women while she is around or looking at pornagraphic material in front of her because she then feels she has to compete and becomes insecure all the more. Tell her to go to the shopping centre and sit on a chair and observe the women there. She will notice that they come in all different shapes and sizes and that she truely is an average girl. We all have faults just some of us have learnt to value our positive traits more. Communication is the key, ask her what she doesn't like about her body, tell her what you love about her. Tell her what you don't like about your own body and get her to tell you what she loves. Most importantly let her know how important this issue is for you. I wish you all the best and hope my thoughts may some how help you. Three years is a long time and hopefully worth all the effort you can manage. | |
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| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:49:13 PM |
If I may make a suggestion friend, take yourself out of the equation and make it all about her. You've got yourself a great girl, you've just said so. And if you're going to create these sexual tensions it's only going to escalade to a point you both may not be able to work through. Quit comparing old relationships/experiences with your new ones. Different folks, different strokes. Don't let such a petty thing override all the amazing things you've discovered about this girl, otherwise quit wasting her time and step aside to let someone in who will accept her unconditionally.
OP, please don't listen to this guy (no offense, evermind, but imo you're way off base on this one). Anyone (male or female) who is that insecure and uncomfortable with their own body needs counseling to discover the root of the problem. And it's certainly not "petty" for either him OR her. You can rest assured that it affects HER more than it affects HIM. Feeling that badly about yourself is a horrible, horrible feeling, and she probably feels even worse if she knows that the bad feelings she has about herself are also negatively affecting the man she loves and their relationship. I agree with the person above who said you need to be honest with her, and encourage her to get some counseling. You can't make her do it, but this is too important to both of you to let it go without at least trying. If she'll work this out, she'll be so much happier, and in turn, so will you. My son's fiance has the same issue (they've been together 5 years and have 2 sons). It's very painful to watch what BOTH of them go through behind this thing. And no, it's not just me who sees it - my daughters see it on a regular basis, along with anyone else who happens to be in the house when my son tries to go in the bedroom when she happens to be changing clothes, and the resulting fight because she gets so panicked when she thinks he's going to see her, which makes the kids cry because mom's freaking out, etc., etc. Just one small example... | |
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| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:53:24 PM | | ~OP~ I am just like your g/f. My ex-husband constantly jokes that in the past 12 years, he doesn't believe I've been entirely naked. It definitely hasn't caused issues in my sex life (when I have one...LOL) because I found the art of body stockings, corsets, etc., etc. Unlike your g/f ~ I'm not a lights out person, I just HATE being entirely naked. I am not hung up on my body flaws, it's just not something I do. I don't worry about it, I don't analyze it, I just work with it. You seem like you truly do care for her and that is so very hard to find. After three years, I would hope you can find a solution. My only advice would be to talk to her. Gently let her know how you feel and maybe she'll be open to a more adventurous sex life. If she is not, I'd say you have a tough decision ahead of you. (And I do agree, maybe she needs some professional counseling to find out exactly WHY she is the way she is ????) | |
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