| |
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/11/2007 6:07:08 PM | OP you sound like a sweet, loving guy, however I think you'd be making a mistake if you left her. Real love is hard to find for a lot of people and some go through their entire life never finding it.
I also think that you should not insist on her seeking therapy. When she's ready and if she feels she needs it she will do it herself. It's like telling a smoker to quit smoking....it never works. I don't agree that she may have been abused, etc. It may be something as simple as having severe stretch marks or cellulite or burn marks on her body and, because you've told her she's beautiful, if you saw any one of these, you may be turned off.
What I can't understand is why you're being told to walk away if she doesn't seek help.
I think that you've become too obsessed with wanting to see her naked. What would happen if heaven forbid you became blind. Would you quit sleeping with women because you could not see their bodies? I don't think so.
Remember that you can still feel, touch and taste and the important thing is that you are able to look into her eyes, and if you truly love her as you say you do, you'll leave this alone. You've probably wasted three years trying to convince her to let you see her naked although it hasn't worked. That must be causing HER a lot of stress.
I suggest that you never mention another word about it. Get black-out drapes to fulfil your wishes for morning sex ,and let her decide whether she needs therapy. In time, if you don't mention it anymore, she may come around and tell you why she is the way she is. Just love her for the way she is.....unconditional love is the best kind of love.
If you need to talk to someone further about this, just email me, I'm a good listener and it will go no further. I don't suggest that you discuss this with your family or friends 'cause if she were to find out, she would not be very happy that your discussing personal stuff with others.
I wish you all the best, and I hope things work out for you. | |
|
marcob
|
Joined: 10/4/2007
Msg: 153 | |
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/11/2007 6:10:01 PM | I apologize if this has been asked already as I didn't want to read the whole thread.
You've been with her for 3 years, but you've been on here for 1+ years? Why are you here? | |
|
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/11/2007 6:31:18 PM | It is rare for this to be so extreme. I've read some great suggestions in this thread... "semi shear undies" , "Candles". you also might try asking her if she would be willing to try somethings to help her get over it. You've been together for 3 years so obviously you care for each other. Talk straight to her and suggest baby steps (like the candles idea) or maybe coaxing her to wear less and less when it's just the two of you. Maybe even a combination of both ideas.
If none of that works; You might (gently) suggest some professional help i.e. a hypnotherapist ( just make sure you know something about their reputation to make sure they have integrity). Hypnotherapy could do wonders for her..and you for that matter. As a 27 year student of hypnosis; I can tell you that it definately can help/ | |
|
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/11/2007 6:38:33 PM | | You might also try buying two blindfolds. One for her and one for you. It can be a very sensual experience. using only touch, taste , smell, and hearing to explore each other. | |
|
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/11/2007 7:06:38 PM | Be honest with yourself. This is obviously something really deep emotionally to her. I'd bet $20 it has nothing to do with how she looks and everything with how she was raised. Who knows what her mother or grandmother or dad or ???? said to her when she was ??? 3? 5?
This is situation for professional counseling. You pressuring her is only going to drive the two of you apart.
If she really wants to change things, hang with her and help her. If she doesn't, let her live how she wants, and leave on good terms.
You didn't break her and you can't fix her. All you can do is love and support her. | |
|
| |
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/11/2007 7:26:14 PM | I've heard of similar situations involving women that really had no reasons to be concerned about their body. If you have had straight conversations with her about how it makes you feel, then I agree therapy is the next step. As someone overweight, a man either accepts my body or not. If he didn't accept it as part of the package, he wouldn't be hanging around.
Therefore, I have no issues similar to your g/f.
I do understand your desire for more spontaneous sex....and morning sex, when you are half awake, is the best.
I hope you work something out.
Becca | |
|
| |
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/11/2007 7:33:55 PM |
she's such a great person - just so terribly insecure.
I can't compute a sentence that has the word "great" and "insecure" in it while discribing the same person..... i just can't.... i....
*BOOM*
*head explodes* | |
|
| |
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/12/2007 4:28:37 AM | What amazes me is that this thread was posted over 2 years ago and Original poster has left and only god knows when, but people are still asking him questions 
So over 4 years now ....I wonder if at the end he got to see her naked or not??????? | |
|
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/12/2007 6:55:45 AM | Hey Fission,
Sounds like you have sincerely tried to help her overcome this negative view that she has of herself. But it sounds like she needs professional help to get over this insecurity. Try to sit her down and talk with her in a loving way that you love and accept her for the woman that she is, but tell her that you believe that she needs to seek counceling to help her overcome her insecurites. Its sounds like this negative attitude comes from something in her past. Offer to go with her if that would put her at ease. If she still doesn't want to go that route.... well maybe you might need to let go somewhat. Because if she doesn't want to help herself there is nothing that you can do for her. She has to want the help. Sounds harsh but life is that way. | |
|
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/12/2007 11:03:00 AM | | Hi the hardest part of life is trying to teach others your experience and no one wants to here the truth. I have been there and still am 20 years. Move on take the pain for a bit. I dont care what anyone says sexual relationship is the backbone to a happy life and is very diffcult to do. Sometime in life you have to be selfish and think of your happiness. As time goes on it will just drive you to cheat. just my thought | |
|
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/12/2007 12:15:50 PM | Oh my!!!!! my mom told me once that our pastor's wife never let him see her naked.
She always got dressed in the closet....SOMETHING WORKED, THEY HAD 11 CHILDREN.hahhahahaha.....She is insecure for a reason. Maybe it is how she was raised.....Maybe tell her to stand in front of a mirror, when she is alone and look or clean her house without clothes on....It worked for me lol......
Now I think I might hide in the closet.lol
Pat | |
|
| |
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/12/2007 2:50:10 PM | That is the saddest thing i have ever heard. I used to be like that when i was really young. Like 17. Until I had a baby I was very insecure and acted the same way. After I had a baby somehow it went away. I actually felt sexier and more beautiful.
I saw a show the other day called Feel Good Naked or something like that, about a married couple and the husband had not seen his wife naked for EIGHT YEARS. Can you imagine? She even wore tights all year round because she thought she had ugly legs. She even had these special leotards that she wore during sex!!! Anywho by the time this guy that hosted the show was done with her she had done a naked photo shoot and had ripped up all her tights and thrown them out. And guess what she was HOT. Her naked photo shoot was amazing.
Anyway maybe you should tell her that her insecurities are taking a toll on the relationship. IF you really feel she is that special, IF you really love her, and IF you can picture yourself more than possibly spending the rest of your life with her. Maybe you can suggest that she seek professional help to get to the root of the problem. Tell her even that you will go with her. For me I realize that growing up in an extremely oppressive religious household it took a humungous toll on my feelings on sex and my body. I also had avery abusive sexist father so I felt I was a piece of shit as a woman. I am not saying that this is what she went through but what i am saying is that perhaps there are some underlying issues causing her to feel this way.
It just seems such a shame to throw away a perfectly good relationship because of this. You sound like you really care for her and she sounds like a great person.
I love it when people have happy endings
Good luck | |
|
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/12/2007 3:14:17 PM | "What amazes me is that this thread was posted over 2 years ago and Original poster has left and only god knows when, but people are still asking him questions." I'm wondering if he saw Elvis since he's left the building!!
The only thing I INSIST on the men that I'd date pay...is attention!! ADD may be more prevalent than any of us ever thought.  | |
|
| |
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/12/2007 3:29:33 PM | | I have been reading these replies tonight and yours is the only one I can reply to, I understand exactly how the lady in question is feeling, but your reply is just so amazing xx | |
|
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/12/2007 3:34:41 PM | Hahahaha, "maybe get a clapper? .. clap-on .." LMFAO.. thats priceless dude..
anyway.. to get back to the post..lol, I cant give anymore advice than what is already written here.. have a few drinks to loosen up.. light 'a' candle, make sure she knows you think her body is a temple. You could also try a blacklight.. nothing looks better than a woman on top wearing a white bra under a black light.. also theres a lot of sexy lingerie and fishnets that cover, yet are revealing. Remember.. Persistence is Key.
...get a clapper.. lol, damn that was funny. | |
|
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/12/2007 3:36:52 PM | | That is the best answer ever, I dont think this gal needs therapy or anything like that, its exactly as youve said, she is being made more insecure by being asked to reveal all!!! I feel the same, Ive been told I am attractive and have a great figure, yes when Im fully clothed, but to get my kit off in broad daylight is another thing, I am very unhappy about myself BUT I dont need therapy just an understanding man!! We cant all be airbrushed, dont happen in real life guys, get real!!!! we all have our flaws and always will xx | |
|
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/12/2007 3:53:43 PM |
What amazes me is that this thread was posted over 2 years ago and Original poster has left and only god knows when, but people are still asking him questions
That happens a lot.
Some people leave and come back with a different account btw. Just because the profile went poof, doesn't necessarily mean they did. | |
|
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/12/2007 3:56:34 PM | This thread is getting me to think...............................Do people listen to each other or just talk over one another bucsgirl was the only one who heard me hey no wonder there is so much break ups, no one listens to each other
What a funny world we live in...glad there is no sounds in the forums.....as it is no one hears no one, imagine if there was sound   | |
|
| 3 Years - Never Seen My Girlfriend Naked
Posted: 10/12/2007 6:10:06 PM | | Sounds like she has some pretty serious issues about it. Try starting with bare feet and work your way up to just underwear. Seeing a therapist might help too. | |
|
Home
login 
