| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 6:19:45 PM | well i have already found out that the drug rehab in our town refused her because of the severity of her seizure disorder.............and that left the hospital.....they did keep her for a week and a 1/2.......but she played the game and didnt follow up afterwards ...........and untill she hits bottom again............all i can do is wait........i have talked to the epileptic foundation and her doctors.....but she is a legal adult and i am an interferring parent...........
you guys are so wonderfull and i appreciate you so much.............. | |
|
| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 6:39:29 PM | been there.....you're getting good advice. The family of the addict is as sick or SICKER than the addict (I'm sure you know how that feels) - and YOU CAN'T FIX HER! Like everyone said, let her know you're there, but you can't be in her life until she decides she wants to get help - and not money, or a place to live, etc - real help, in QUITTING! and ONLY SHE can make that decision. You have to take care of YOURSELF and the rest of your family - her addiction will only drag you down with her. If she thinks you'll tolerate her using AT ALL, she will never "hit bottom", and until she hits bottom, she'll have no motivation to quit. My advice is to start reading AL-ANON books, go to meetings - they're in the phone book. GET HELP FOR YOU. YOU CAN'T HELP HER...I'm sorry. She may come around, she may not - my nephew is the brightest, sweetest, most talented, handsome guy (he was the best HS trumpet player in NY state 4 years ago) but we may lose him, because of drugs.
These are the facts. Read these words and the others and believe them. May the God of your understanding bless you and your family.
Mike | |
|
| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 6:40:04 PM | a few comments/thoughts/opinions after reading this thread:
- you can't force an addict into getting clean. yes, you can place them in rehab and yes, they can finish the program, but until they are ready, nothing you do will help if they do not want to help themselves. until that time, they WILL use again. if anything, you waste all your resources and end up hurting yourself (physically, mentally, emotionally) at the same time as you often forget to take care of yourself.
- addicts are manipulative. they cry, they 'love', they apologize, they state they need you but you will never win over the drug until the addict decides to put you there.
- suggestion: tell her "i love you, but it hurts too much to be around you when you are using. i am leaving you until you are seriously ready to get clean." and then, leave her. for real. no bluffing. as difficult as it might be, you need to. if you go back before she is ready to get clean, she has manipulated you (whether knowingly or unknowingly)
- please take care of yourself. as much as it is difficult, you will die slowly if you keep this up. again, there is nothing, absolutely nothing you can do (as much as you think that you are doing good) until the addict is ready to get help.
i wish you the best for this battle and only hope that at the end, you are still in one piece. | |
|
| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 6:41:08 PM | | Hey, I only read one post on this thread, yours. I'm not a doctor but I can tell you this, she got into cocain because someone provided her with something she felt she was missing. And I'll bet that was love. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you don't love her, but I am saying that some jerkoff out there showed her a new type of affection, and we both know how that goes. So here is something I'd recommend trying, find her a good man, or maybe 20 so she has a choice, who will love her, and be a good provider, as for kids, explore adoption. Bottom line, she needs love and attention, so help her find the right man, before the wrong man finds her. | |
|
| |
| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 6:55:39 PM | Wow, I just read the rest of the posts on this thread, and I have to ask " Hey sunonmyface how did you get any sun on your face with your head up your ass"
As I read all the replys I realized there was 2 common factors, you are all saying "save yourself" which doesn't solve the problem. Hey Boneheads she loves her kid. (please all selfserving ass nuggets, report to the political threads) and second, (Would all self serving assnuggets please report to the political threads), and as for ladydilive8 write me direct and we can talk | |
|
| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 7:05:29 PM | ^^^ simply curious: are you an expert on this subject?
well, most of us are not but most of us have probably gone through similar situations and all we can offer is our opinions based on our personal experiences (errr....the whole point of these threads). so comments such as yours to sun and others are disrespectful, ridiculous and show your lack of ability to discuss with maturity. i am certain everyone will be emailing you directly hoping for a tidbit of wisdom, as you demonstrated your great ability to shine here in this thread.
reread your post one more time and ask yourself if it was worth the amount of memory it takes to keep in our screens.
you should be more responsible and considerate next time. | |
|
| |
| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 7:15:41 PM | | All I can say is you are doing the right thing by being there for her.. My brother liked to have O/d'd 2 times last time if I had not woke up and found him he would have.... I will never forget I woke up and he was gurgling bleeding out of mouth and nose..... he stayed on life support for 2 weeks.... we never turned our backs on him no matter what anyone said. we thought that would wake him up.. but it didn't the only thing that opened his eyes was jail...... he stayed in jail 2 yrs..... that made him think and realized... we was all there with him thru it all. Now I am happy to say he is married got a beautiful lil girl works every day..... and hasn't touched anything since he got out of jail..... so sometimes they have to get a wake up call.. I just hope she does before its to late...... just be there for her and let her know no matter what you are there for her....... | |
|
| Thanks, Tex, you can ride out on your horse now....
Posted: 2/25/2005 7:16:13 PM | Insults and ad hominem attacks aside, Nu2TOWN, while you show obvious concern and empathy for LadyDi, her daughter and her family, I doubt you know anything about addiction and recovery. There is a huge body of accepted and proven practices surrounding addiction and its treatment, including the families of addicts.
Were YOU a drug addict? I was. Have you been in recovery for 13 years? I have. Have you seen people DIE from drugs and alcohol? I have. Addiction is a disease. The only treatment start with abstinence, and short of a body guard, nobody can keep an addict from getting high. There are 4 choices, sir: go clean, go to jail, get institutionalized, or die.
The fact is, and I believe most other responders agree with me, her daughters addiction may kill her daughter, but it doesn't have to kill her and her family - i've seen mere alcoholics ruin entire families - brothers and sisters, their marriages, their children, their parents, because everybody let the druggie move in until they couldn't take it anymore. Addicts and alcoholics don't just kill themselves, they take innocent people with them, including their own families.
Get informed, and save your invectives - I'm done with this thread. And Lady Di , you're free to contact me or anyone you want. But don't try to deal with the situation ALONE. You are NOT ALONE in your pain. | |
|
| |
| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 7:30:16 PM | | Wow, thats a hard call, When i was about her age i was drinking a lot and also doing a fair bit of coccaine. I wasn't really doing much with my life. My mother kicked me out of the house.... and honestly it was the best thing she ever did i realised how i was acting and started to simmer down. Years went by and i thanked my mother for it....unfortunatly in your case it is not wise as she has to be monitored. commiting her might be a good choice ....she will hate you at first and later come to realise why you would have done it. I'm sorry i don't have any advise other than that but keep up your strength and hopefull it is just a phase in your daughters life. | |
|
| Thanks, Tex, you can ride out on your horse now....
Posted: 2/25/2005 7:36:27 PM | | nu2town~ fining her a good man isn't gona help her quit. my ex had ben doin drugs before we got in the relationship an i luved her with al my heart an i couldn't get her to stay off an our relationship fel apart cuz of it. ask yourslef this question~ what kina man would want a girl with a drug problem besides another druggie | |
|
| Thanks, Tex, you can ride out on your horse now....
Posted: 2/25/2005 7:45:50 PM | | no squeak, i am calming down, absorbing the support, but am not contacting anyone one on one..........i appreciate all that everyone is giving......i recognize how vulnerable i am......tenderhearted from todays altercation.....and more broken promises.......so i am into a self-protection mode here.......just reaching out and getting the support i will need to face tomarrow............thank you all so much | |
|
Gardel
|
Joined: 2/15/2005
Msg: 40 | |
| |
| Thanks, Tex, you can ride out on your horse now....
Posted: 2/25/2005 9:57:06 PM | hi lady
I sent you email ...but i do know what you're going through compliments of my older brother, all too well. You're not alone and only hope your daughter can find it in her to stop...
Take care ... | |
|
| Thanks, Tex, you can ride out on your horse now....
Posted: 2/25/2005 10:02:16 PM | been there. done that. she'll come around. nothing you can do, 'cept be there for her.
^^^^^^
I'm sorry but it is oh so true ,,She is in a storm, and only she can find Her way out
all You can do, is be there to support Her ....Good Luck ...  | |
|
| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/26/2005 5:06:52 AM | | Just be ther for her,,,she really has to be ready herself because I dont think that until SHE is really ready it will only work for the time being and then she might do it again b/c she was not the one wanting to do it.Beleive me she knows you are there for her and always will be you cannot feel guilty about anything you are a good mom and she sees this she feels her own guilt to face you right now...Sometimes tough love will save them..I have a 14 yr. old girl and she is already giving me a lot of problems and I am so scared for her safety,I have been preparing to have her put away b/c its the only way I feel I can help her..Its going to hurt me alot but its better she cries then I cry from a tradgedy,,But being your daughter is 22 you may have to let go a little and just let her know you are there when she is really ready... | |
|
| marie34
Posted: 2/26/2005 5:59:53 AM | It was the best thing I ever did for my 14 yr old.....yes she cried...was angry with me....the whole you don't love me....I hate you routine...it took 3 times...but we are so incredibly close now! Yes, the pain when you do it is horrible...but it's worth the end results.
Ladydi....you know we're all here for you....you do what feels right for you...don't be afraidto try different methods...it may take a awhile to find the right path for you as an individual and a mom...never give up! | |
|
| marie34
Posted: 2/26/2005 6:09:00 AM | | Hi Hotbush when you had to do that with your daughter was is through csis or something like that?If not can you tell me what it was please thank you..I am really needing help with her I have her in coounseling but it seems she is getting worse.. | |
|
| marie34
Posted: 2/26/2005 6:59:39 AM | I committed her myself the first two times
The 3rd time I had the police come pick her up...they will fight you on taking her to a facility (the cops)
But stick to your guns and tell them you will not allow her to stay in your home
Yes, they will use handcuffs and if she gets violent they will put her in a suit and she'll look like gumby
God yes...it will hurt like nothing you have ever experienced in your life
Have a friend with you when you do this...do NOT try to do it alone
Your daughter will cry and beg...don't fall for it
They learn to play us at a very young age...just remember all the cute bad things she did as as a child that made it hard to punish her and made you say ohhh, how cute....it's the same type of thing, just not cute
It has taken me a few years to be able to verbalize this stuff in a clinical way
I have taken the restrictions off my mail, so if you want to contact me off this thread you can
It's tough...but they can be helped!!!! | |
|
| thank you all so much...
Posted: 2/26/2005 7:06:09 AM | | its morning and i do so appreciate the help and support of last night.......i did get some rest, and i am gearing up to go get the door slammed in my face again............and i love you all for the advice..the hugs.....the support you gave has been wonderful........but keep me in your prayers and thoughts cause the princess still has alot of work to do in her kingdom.........thank you all so much...........my daughter has alienated so many members of our family with her behaviour and it has been wonderful to have a support system i can reach in the late hours when it all gets me down.............thanks again.......youre wonderful............ | |
|
| thank you all so much...
Posted: 2/26/2005 7:12:53 AM | | You're most welcome princess...the pocket venus is smiling upon you and sending guardians with you on your quest today...blessed be your day | |
|
| |
| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/26/2005 12:16:53 PM | ok.she is 22 she should be more madure at this age she is not in the teens anymore hun. you will have to start to do something about soon.
my recommendation start with a psycatrist from from there to a rehabilitation program.
if she do that to u do it back to her too. thats is having not respect for authority and thats ur fault not her.u was suppose to teach her that long time ago while she was younger but its not too late. try to help her out she is ur daughter but do not feel compassion for her and her conditions .she is probably manipulating and making everybody feel sorry of her self. sometimes u just have to be tough.if u find cocaine in your house call the police and do not be sorry start from there thats way she will have more respect to authoirity and it will gave her a lesson. its not easy dont give up and good luck . i was probably as bad as she is but i grew up for good. be tough and dont let her use u . good luck | |
|
Home
login 
