| Gentlemen can be BORING! Although, there is...
Posted: 6/27/2006 8:01:09 PM | I'd rather spend time with a gentleman than find myself with an ass!! There aren't enough people with manners around these days and I find it refreshing when they at least make the attempt. Some men and women just aren't comfortable with acts of affection on the first meet and rightly so...
I think the best way to describe my perfect man would be a gentle soul with an edge... And yes, he would have manners! He won't storm in with a club, beat me over the head and drag me back to his cave. He won't maul me because he think he can. He won't wag his tail and roll over just because I want him to... He'll be a strong man who demonstrates conviction in who he is, takes control at times, and also takes a step back when appropriate, which ultimately shows more strength than being completely "ME MAN"!
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| Gentlemen can be BORING! Although, there is...
Posted: 6/27/2006 8:12:09 PM |
IMO, looking for a bad boy is stupid…and I can speak form experience, lol. I can’t think why anyone would want someone who doesn’t call when they say they will, who doesn’t treat them with the consideration and respect that they’d show to a stranger, who plays hard to get, who makes condescending or rude comments to one - even in public, and who acts like they don’t care if they with you or not. What’s so great about that?!
That's not a bad boy, that's a bad person. A "good" bad boy can be a nice person. Finest combination in the world. Some people will understand what I mean, and some will never get it.
To the OP: I think he's just 19 and didn't have a clue. If you liked him besides that, maybe give him a bit of a break? At least be kind; he probably knows he came across as a deeb, and is beating himself up over it plenty. You can make or break this guy's future dating life in what you do now, whether you see him again or not. Just be kind, OK?
Good luck. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 6/28/2006 10:22:31 AM |
There is soooooo much I really would like to say to that ridiculous woman, but there really just is no point anymore. If you have a stick planted firmly up your rectum then there is nothing I can do about it...
But because you like to be cute... The problem is that you were contradictory, close minded, judgemental, and a bit to eager to see your own opinions on the screen. I don't argue with answers I don't agree with. I argue with uneducated people like you who think they are high and mighty because their tits sag more than mine and you have more wrinkles. Age doesn't always mean wisdom and quite frankly, I was raped and I could still say no to a man who threatened to take my job so what does it say about you that you can't... Probably the same thing it says about me that I wanted the boy to be a little more ballsy.
Looks like at two different ages we still have some learning to do. BOTH of us.
Wow...someone touched a nerve, huh? Seriously, if you ask a question, don't get po'd when you don't like all the replies you get to it. Not everyone is going to agree with you in life, nor should they...that's what makes us all unique. As for being uneducated, and having sagging breasts, lol, that simply shows you need to attack when you feel threatened by another's opinions...and also once again how little you know. Just an fyi, if that comment was about me, I may be old enough to be your mother, but I sure don't look it and I'm all natural. I also don't need to have some bad boy treat me lousy in order to feel good about myself, as some people seem to need. Surprisingly, you have a very well thought out and written profile; so maybe you'll find that you don't need a bad boy and can learn to appreciate a gentleman who has a little bit of wildness in him...besides, this guy may have been a gentleman that first night, but who's to say he'd have remained one after a few dates? You may have given up a pretty good one. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 6/28/2006 12:31:20 PM | | lmfao...not that all red heads are the same (I'm a red head as well)....but yeah...gentlemen totally suck when you actually need/want a man to just take control (not take advantage)...but I've met with the type that asks about everything and as soon as I hear the words I cringe....he just ruined the fun dammit | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 6/28/2006 1:11:41 PM | Well now this is an interesting thread. While I disagree strongly with the OP that Gentlemen are Boring, I think she is very much correct in many of her other assessments.
The boy was not a Gentleman by any definition, a gentleman has no reason to lie. Which was really the problem from the get go. He asked permission for actions that no gentleman would have undertaken so soon with the exception of the kiss. He was a nervous and inexperienced boy.
The only thing I think the OP was incorrect about was labeling him a gentleman. Further some of the other posters in here I think at times need to step back and stop throwing their personal baggage into their advice and comentary. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 6/28/2006 2:29:07 PM | This is is what me and my buddies were talking about just the other day. It goes both ways. The guys said they wanted a good girl on the streets and a bad girl between the sheets! So why is it wrong for us women to want the same things? I don't think it is. But keep in mind a good balance between good guy and bad boy is hard to find. I have to agree with alot of folks on here tho, when they say, 1) first date--- its up to the two of you to decide how far to go and how fast. 2) inexperiance might be a reason 3) to have a man ask in nice and women still like that sort of thing, but i agree, if we are giving all the signals to go ahead, then get the balls and proceed.
Gentalmen-- please don't take this post as "please act like a jerk-- we want it like that" we dont, well not most of us anyways! Think James Bond, old style! gentlemenly yet excitting! | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING! Although, there is...
Posted: 6/28/2006 3:33:08 PM | Actually, the guy you went out with wasn't much of a gentleman. A more accurate set of words to describe him would be "wuss" or "****."
First off, what kind of guy would ask "Can I kiss you?" or "Can I touch your butt?" I'm even more surprised that you two ended up kissing. It's the first date, if he were a gentleman, he wouldn't have thought about grabbing some ass.
Perhaps you should raise your expectations a little. Remember, you get what you settle for. You set the bar low and you'll get all these hoodrats after you. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 6/28/2006 3:38:29 PM | OP I am so sorry to hear about that. Maybe next time a jerk will come across JUUUUUSSSST for you!! and you will be happy. If you are really lucky he'll be mean and an a$$hole and WOW you'll have a thrill ride eh??
GROW UP!!!!! | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 6/28/2006 4:20:00 PM | | Ok the may I kiss you, I’ve had that but “can I touch your butt” and “may I let my hands wander?” is weird for sure. But my question to you is…you were meeting between jobs, my guess is you didn’t have a lot of time correct? How the heck did you wind up in a situation where he’d be kissing you and feeling you up… “between jobs”? | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 6/28/2006 6:03:37 PM | READ!!!!!!
Why did he kiss you on the first date and why did he try to WANDER. The man is not a gentleman, the man is a boy with no self control! If a man respected you he would not try and touch you on the first date. Find a real gentleman. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING! Although, there is...
Posted: 6/28/2006 7:03:12 PM | "why is it that in this day and age its a crime to be a gentleman and to be polite and have manners and show human decency. I think some younger women nowadays just dont like that stuff because a lot of guys are not gentleman. It seems to me that a woman would want I guy that shows respect, and it seems that some women go for the bad boy types who have no respect and are jerks but to each his own"
I agree with you and i understand where your comming from i always thought that aswell and it's a shame now day's you can NOT do anything to please a woman/man because if you do what SOME ask you to do they complain, and if you do NOT do what some want you to they complain and call you ever name in the book!
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 9/10/2006 3:44:15 PM | | Wow very good answer! Its been a longtime since I've heard a man respectfully say something that honors a woman! | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING! Although, there is...
Posted: 1/30/2008 10:37:06 PM | I truly dont understand why I always go for the bad boys i try to look for the gentelmen but then I talk to a bad boy and they intreag me I wonder why that is. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING! Although, there is...
Posted: 1/30/2008 11:03:29 PM | I know a lot of women would like that, and I consider myself to be a nice guy (I Guess..I hate nice guy/bad guy labels.I am just ME!). But I do find asking such a question such as "May my hands wander?" in such a formal way to be kinda funny, and made me chuckle out loud when I read it. I mean, why didn't he just go a step further and go full Shakespeare??: "May thoust do me the pleasure of granting thy permission of my ever wandering appendage to lie beheld on thou supple firm waist?"
I know the OP is young like some of you said and will appreciate the gentlemanliness of it all when she is older, but he was a littttle too formal considering what he was asking for! Sorry but I would probably giggle myself if a woman talked like that on a short, informal date.  | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 1/31/2008 5:27:47 AM | Hm, you're 22.... and you have a problem with him being a gentleman...but....you're the younger generation of women that is actually PART of the problem.
How DARE he be a gentleman? *GASP*
LOL...Fiery...so you wanted him to feel you up....but you just didn't want to hear him say it to you.
This is funny, it reminds me of a Saturday Night Live skit about rape....it showed Mike Meyers doing the SAME thing your date was doing. (well SAYING the same exact things!)
Basically, that you're better off asking permission everytime you do something to a woman, but he is a fine example of Politcal Correctness.
He just wanted to assure that at the end of the date...that he didn't want to wind up in jail for rape or sexual assualt. 
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 1/31/2008 5:34:22 AM | I'm not sure I'd call him a gentleman, as a....non-aggressive. I was going to say, "wimp", but considering his age, I'd say he hasn't learned yet how to be more active in pursuing a lover.
Still, yes, I can imagine what a turn-off it is for a woman to have a man who is always trying to put the responsibility on her shoulders. Fellows, if you want a kiss, lean in. Invade her space a little bit, judge her reaction. Or if she is already invading your's, if she's play-fighting with you, etc...take it as a good sign :)
a woman likes to think she's attractive enough to overwhelm the learned nature (of a man she is interested in) to be a gentleman...and make him resort to his biological nature  | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING! Although, there is...
Posted: 1/31/2008 5:37:25 AM | Lonley one, your site answers your question: you want a crapload of fun. A bad boy is more willing to get to that place, than the nice guy who will look for permission, then make sure the two of you don't get into trouble, and THEN will have fun.
A real gentleman goes only where his mind has already gone...he has figured out what you like, how to get there, and THEN asks you out :) Its just simple planning. It makes the whole date seem effortless, like it was fate. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING! Although, there is...
Posted: 1/31/2008 5:44:44 AM |
I truly don't understand why I always go for the bad boys i try to look for the gentlemen but then I talk to a bad boy and they entreated me I wonder why that is
because women have no idea what they truly want
instead they wait for oprah or some self help book or nonsense like that to tell them what they want | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 1/31/2008 6:10:58 AM | | This guy was not a gentleman, hope you actually encounter one someday. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING! Although, there is...
Posted: 1/31/2008 6:11:07 AM | | This could have easily appeared in the usual 'all men are after one thing" threads had this guy done what you wanted ie: read your mind. Granted this guy seems a little extreme and i'd hate to hear him in the bedroom,but just take a look at all the male bashing threads on this site and complaints about men NOT being gentleman.You should have grabbed his butt,that would have been a pretty clear green light for him. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING! Although, there is...
Posted: 1/31/2008 6:29:30 AM | In someways......................I see your point.
the "may I kiss you"..I think is sweet, but asking permission for EVERYTHING...That would be soooo..annoying..There has to some spontaneity .
I think if it were me..I would get to the point of just saying...NO!! You cant touch me!..AT ALL!!!!(laffs)
He was trying to be respectful... Even though he was trying WAY to hard.
as for trying to get into your pants ..thats a given..
Almost every guy is going to try to do that...doesnt mean he expects it..(he will usually expect you to say no) but you have to give him an "A" for effort.
Gentlemen are not boring and chivalry is NOT dead.....but there is such a thing as trying to hard...By reading your post...I think this guy aced it! | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING! Although, there is...
Posted: 1/31/2008 7:31:51 AM | Just because you wont press harassment charges doesnt mean he knows that, people can not read minds and the law is in women's favour on these matters.
I think you should cut the guy some slack and see if he stops asking once he knows he can cross boundaries without being screwed over with a lawsuit-he's probably been charged before by some evil cow with a stuck up attitude.
Saying he should just be a man and take control or a chance is invalid these days when a mans reputation can be permenently tarnished (sex offender's registry), lose his job, or have to pay a hefty fine and ruin his finances for a while.
oh and i should quote "A gentleman doesn't have to ask permission for everything. An intelligent human can read the signs and know that it is appropriate to move forward and kiss etc."
My answer to that is that the legal system in the uk does not care what a guy thinks his intelligent responses are, the sole focus will be whether a bunch of people believe that a woman was assaulted if she complains, my opinion is its not worth the risk-women should make the first moves if interested so guys cant get screwed over by them so easily | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 1/31/2008 8:07:49 AM | What the OP is describing isn't a 'gentleman'.
What the OP is describing is a nerdy geek loser without a spine. | |
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