| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 2/3/2008 9:10:03 AM | | He wasn’t rite for you move on. Don’t go judging every tom****and Harry and make a thread to bash good men.... LOL since your new to internet dating let me give you a heads up your in for a Treat :)~ Its free you get the best of both worlds people lie allot on here just to get attention or to get into someone’s pants, you have to weed those people out. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 2/3/2008 9:43:31 AM | I never had this problem...lol I am also a red head and much older. To me, he is just being 19 and probably trying to figure it all out. Hid inexperience is showing and his hormones are also showing. Not an excuse for him to be this way because he was not being a gentleman to ask if he could touch you all over on a first date.
No man ever asked me if he could "do this or that", they just try it. If the man is coming on to strong, I simply tell him and he has backed off. I know there are creeps out there that take NO for an answer, but it has not been my experience...yet. Safety is always a concern and just not in internet dating. I do understand a mans concern of being accused of something not intended. I will admit, as a woman, I do like the man to take charge of the intial intimacy issue. I also wouldn't want to be a man because of it either. I have a 20 yr old son and I worry about him dating and how he is treating a woman or how he is preceived as such. I know I would not want a woman to accuse him wrongly or for him to pressure a woman into anything. It is just the age old human nature factor of courtship, dating, whatever you want to call it.
I do like a man to be a gentleman, but there are many ways to show you are a gentleman other than when it comes to intimacy. No one can be the judge of others if one should or should not engage in intimacy on the first date. Every date is different and every dating partner is different. I, myself, have boundaries, but I also may be tempted to cross those boundaries also. I like to think of myself as human and not to rigid. I do as I please, with judging only myself and not caring what others think.
Men who say they would not respect a woman if she "gave it up to soon"??? Ummm...if you were the one she gave it up to, then what does that make you? A little double standard BS...men can ,but a woman cannot. Ohhhh how self righteous are we now?
Red...don't allow others to make you feel weird about your motives and yourself. People cannot "make" you feel anything. You feel the way you do all by yourself. You are young and will make mistakes, have tons of questions about this whole man / woman issue, just like everyone else in this world. It never truly gets easier, so don't sweat it, just go with what makes you happy and does not hurt others. When it is a pleasant experience, then be glad it was. Never regret a great, pleasurable time, if only for a day! Who knows about life tomorrow?
Good Luck Red! Happy Fishing! | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 2/15/2008 2:43:15 PM | It's a bit of an ego bruiser isn't it readhead
Your fragile ego likes to think that no guy could keep his dirty mitts off you no matter how personally revolted you are by such creeps. So the gentleman and the gays a real blow to that ego. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 2/15/2008 2:50:01 PM | | You're 22 OP. You aren't mature enough yet to appreciate good manners, steady employment and dependability. Some girls your age are, but the one's that aren't are gals like you that will post threads about how some guy treated you poorly or was boring. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 2/15/2008 5:24:09 PM | Well so much for the "looking for a nice guy" ,"looking for someone to treat me with respect","I'm not looking for a player" theory.Guess us "nice guys" have to grab butt,try to shove our tounges down your throat,and try to squeeze the mellons to get your attention ,LOL! | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:18:21 PM | | Boring is equal opportunity. But I think "creepy" more accurately describes your date. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/13/2008 9:08:04 AM | | I can see your point Red! I've been there! It may be respectful to ask to do certain major things (ie: sex) however it can be boring if the man never takes control. Shows lack of romance and inexperience. I'm 25 and I'm I still like a bit of spark and excitment in my life :P I like a man who can give me a kiss goodnight without asking first. Makes me feel uncomfortable being asked about everything. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/13/2008 2:08:11 PM |
... He was a gentleman...
"Can I touch your butt?"...
A gentleman would NEVER ask a question like that. For the kiss, MAYBE, but never anything else.
The guy was a 21 horny perv who thought the best way to get into your pants was to put on this little act. He gives true gentleman a bad name.
But yes... you'd probably find a true gentleman boring as well, cause he would treat you with the upmost respect and dignity. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/13/2008 6:01:51 PM | Definitely an odd experience, but consider this:
We are all wired differently on the inside. Some people expect their dates to be rather formal and...well boring. Especially when it is hard to read the other person.
In a lot of ways modern gender roles have changed. Women are more forward yet expect the man to both respect their independence AND take charge. It is a very shaky tightrope to walk.
Yes, that date was strange. Not going to even make excuses up for him.
But for the NORMAL guys out there, we still find it a challenge learning what the heck women want! | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/13/2008 7:39:05 PM | So dump him and go get yourself a lying, cheating, possibly abusive "bad boy" that you will end up dumping only after a lot of misery...
Or take this guy and mold him into what you want.. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/13/2008 8:29:03 PM | | Well first of all for a short first date he should not of been asking about your butt or his wandering hands. That usually is a sign he is looking for sex. He didn't want to upset u because he thought he would get some. Most men do not ask permisson for every move they make unless they live with their mom still. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/13/2008 8:51:16 PM | | Asking permission does not constitute being a gentleman. The guys sounds real creepy to me. Gentlman I can handle, but creepy, stalker type, psyhco's, and unrealistic men. Yuk! Run, don't walk... | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/13/2008 9:13:21 PM | You know, friends, there is a difference between being awkward and being creepy. He could just be a sweet inhbited kid who doesn't know how to break out of his shell.
Late-blooming nerdy types don't need to be "molded." They do need to be coached, and if your sense of him is that he's a sweetie-pie who doesn't know the ropes, what's the harm in telling him: "no, but if you'd asked me this way or just done it that way ... here ... like this ..." Then you both might have had a lot more fun.
If someone is romantically slow for his age, it's not like a mental defect or something. What's the harm in bringing him up to speed a little bit? | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/13/2008 9:39:10 PM | This guy wasn't a gentleman....he was just odd.
Gentleman in my opinion means you have good manners and do all that chivalry stuff....not that you ask if you can touch my butt or ask me other weird questions and act like I have leprosy.
I agree that he may just not know how to act on dates but t has nothing to do with being a gentleman. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/13/2008 10:09:25 PM | JasmineKai posted:
A gentleman doesn't have to ask permission for everything. An intelligent human can read the signs and know that it is appropriate to move forward and kiss etc.
Until that one time they are wrong and the woman doesnt properly vocalise their opinion, or is drunk, or regrets what happened later. Then it's a bad bad deal.
This guy was playing it safe. Too safe? perhaps but seriously, how many of you havent watched those cheesy sex ed videos? You know, the ones where the guy literally asks to do everything? He likely has little to no experience with women | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/13/2008 10:22:29 PM | | Your date is not a Gentleman, a gentleman is from upper class , an educated guy and knows his way in a polite society,he is refined ,courteous,chivalrous, generous and kind. he is not violent,harsh and rough. A gentleman doesn't touch your butt,wander his hands on you, or ask permission ( in public to touch your butt, wander his hands?) A gentleman knows how to score on dating, he will not ask permission to kiss you, but wait if you will give him a hug or peck in the cheek and thank him for the dinner/time with him. If you don't give him a hug or a peck on the cheek it's okay with him. If a gentleman touch you it is on the lower back to guide you to the dining table . Your date is just a lowly wise guy, he thinks he can charmed you by asking permission to paw on you, or he is saving his a$$ that you might hit him on rape or something.... | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/15/2008 7:46:53 AM | Every chick I've ever dated would agree with you. Gentlemen can be boring.
Thank God being a gentleman isn't the only card in my deck. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/22/2008 10:09:01 PM | | I do not think that a man being a gentleman is necessarily boring. He may be boring and be a gentleman or be boring and be a jerk. This guy sound weird. First off, this was a first date. A gentleman would not have put his hand on your butt on a first date with or without asking for permission. And you were in a public area, were you not? This was not a relationship that had progressed along enough for him to feel comfortable to kiss you or let his hands wander. Those thing happen when vibes are past back and forth between two people and it is a comfortable thing and feels right. I don't think he sounds boring so much as he does weird. | |
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| Gentlemen can be BORING!
Posted: 8/23/2008 12:08:46 PM | | I dont believe how you women are acting. A guy asks if he can kiss you and he is wierd and boring. But if he dont than he ends up in the slammer fighting bubba for the soap. | |
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