| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 6/28/2006 9:30:47 AM | the web cam will not stop a rapist get real! in fact I'll bet every rapist online has a web cam as that type of thing is just what a sexual deviant would have, work on your judgement, if you can read into a chat or read into a profile that should be all you need. case in point op the guy who you found to be immature never used a web cam! se what I mean>? just chat long enough and the true person will come out | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 6/28/2006 11:03:39 AM | Wow, I checked this thread yesterday and since then it has become VERY PARANOID in here! I have a webcam at home, but, my computer croaked and the back up computer I'm using is VERY old and won't support the webcam driver.
Men will ask me to turn the webcam on, I tell them this absolute, technical problem related truth, and they say "yea right" and stop talking to me as often.
If that isn't paranoid, (among other things), I don't know what is.
I have several pictures, that are all up to date, the newest being about a month old. That's the best I can do for now, if that isn't enough, you're probably to paranoid (among other things) to date anyways.
Back when I did have a working webcam, at first I thought it was great! I'd turn it on all the time! Then after a while I started to get bored with it. Not to mention...it kind of gives you that weird fishbowl affect....you know..you're staring at yourself while your typing, they're staring at you...doing what? typing...oh, scratched my nose...hope that didn't come off weird! What's that behind me? It's a bookshelf.....yep.....neat....
Then what's with other people on cam. I honestly will refuse someone turn on their cam for me unless I know them REALLY well, because I don't know what it is with some guys, but WHY do you think I need to see your penis? I really don't! Not to mention, staring at a guy type, sip beer, and stare at the computer screen is just as exciting as watching myself do it.
I'm ok with a cursory glance. You turn your cam on, I look, then I turn it off. I turn mine on, you look, then I turn it off..everyone should be happy. If you have a choreographed dance routine to show me though, by all means...
I've honestly never met a genuine wackjob in any sort of blind date situation. That's not to say it'll never happen, but it hasn't happened yet. I don't feel the need to see them on cam to confirm they're safe. If I did, that means I already have a bad feeling, and if I do, I probably shouldn't meet them. Regardless though, on a first meeting, for coffee, there's not too much they can really do to you if they are a weirdo. If you get bad vibes from their body language, you can just leave.
Now driving 2 hours to meet someone, well it's not like any sensible person would do that unless they've been talking to someone for a few months, if there's weirdness going on, you should have sensed it by then, and if they were particularly smooth and hid it from you; well, you drove 2 hours, met them in a public place, it didn't turn out, and you're short some gas money. Life goes on. | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 6/28/2006 11:12:40 AM | Webcams are a great idea but I think it would have to be as you say, that a woman suggests it. I think you're right that it's a great idea coming from a woman and that any guy who doesn't want to do it may have issues of some kind (or a wife and kids who may suddenly show up on screen). But I don't think a guy would get very far by making the suggestion first because they may be misperceived as a perv with bad intentions.
For those of us who can't post pictures for security reasons, a webcam is a good alternative because even frozen pictures from a webcam would (usually) be of too poor quality to be used for identity theft purposes.
I'm hoping to get an IMAC or Macbook Pro soon and am especially looking forward to the Ichat client they both use. Webcams are great ways to get to know someone or keep in touch long distance. I talk to soldier friends around the world via webcam and it really is the next best thing to talking in person. | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 6/28/2006 11:32:49 AM | Gorshkov's comment "Any idiot can say anything in text" made me realize another big reason to use the webcam. Because, as with e-mail (or forums) you can sit and think up those oh-so-clever answers in text over long periods of time which may not represent the real you. (Sadly, though, as Gorshkov's comment went on to say the text message is often disappointing anyway.) But on camera it's another thing. If you're clever, it will show, if you're as snappy as a potato, it will show. We've always been in that seat when you're just sitting there in the dead silence. Not the silence of knowing each other well enough not to speak, but of just plain boredom or discomfort. I'd rather get that over with on camera than in person.
One funny downside of webcams is, as someone else touched on, after a while you both begin to just be your real selves so much that you go about your business...start checking e-mail, unconsciously start looking around the room or at the TV, bored, drooling, snoring...But, again, better on camera than in person any time. On the plus side, although you don't get as much chemistry as in person, but you can get some bubbling of ingredients anyway. | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 6/28/2006 12:23:56 PM | | It's always good to see who you're talking to before you actually meet up. Pictures don't really give the whole effect, but asking to see a webcam sometimes implies playing on cam. If he was as cautious as you, he might have thought you wanted to "cam". It's extremely hard to communicate with just typing or talking on the phone so lines might have been crossed. | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 6/28/2006 9:33:47 PM | I just bought a webcam. They're relatively cheap (20$), and are a slight pain in the ass to set up.
My first impression is that they are somewhat fun and interesting to pose for say 60 seconds. Then its mostly someone typing on a keyboard. It may be better with audio or a phone call. LOL you may not want to meet someone after a webcam session. I think I'll use it as my main.
I don't think a webcam check is that important. Kindof takes all the fun out of a blind date. | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 6/29/2006 1:22:06 AM | It's not a requirement for me, but I wouldn't mind at all if it would make a woman feel more comfortable. I don't feel that it's any sort of violation of trust nor an invasion of the sanctity of my home.
Plus, the computer program I use to create my fake profile pics can generate up to 12 frames per second of "fake me" for a simulated Web cam environment, so I'm not worried about that aspect of it at all. | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 6/29/2006 8:11:28 PM | I use a webcam when I'm chatting with someone. Gives her a better idea of what I look like than just a picture. She can see me laugh, plus I can show her Angel laying in her chair getting her belly rubbed. Quite irresistable. 
However, asking someone to go buy a webcam before you will date them seems a little crass to me. In this case it saved you from meeting someone you didn't want to meet, but next time it may turn away the one you did want to meet. | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 6/29/2006 8:49:09 PM | For me this is a requirement (for the most part). Why I still bother looking on the web I don't know but I do. MOST of the women of quality have been found offline. But I digress.
I have found FAR too often women posting pics that are 20 years old and expect you to believe they look the same. Sure.. the same... 3 kids later you look the same.. to YOU maybe. So you're putting a false image in that person's head. It's the same as using a fake pic as far as I'm concerned.
Also as a guy I get bombarded with cute women that "liked my profile" so much they want me to check out their webcam site. Yeah. Hey! I'm a guy on the net I must be looking for porn. Sorry no. If I wanted porn I wouldn't be here.
The fact remains that if there is no physical attraction there is nothing there. Period. I've wasted far too much time on fake women. I want a real woman that I am attracted to.
You call me shallow, I call me realistic. So after weeding through the porn offers and the women that look nothing like what they advertise. I finally find a couple that I'm interested in. Once that happens.... Oh yeah.. I forgot to tell you I have a man here now.
So yeah. Let me see who you are, where you are NOW... not then and we'll go from there. | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 6/29/2006 9:00:57 PM | I see no problem with it.......
Cam first.....meet first......whatever makes you more comfortable. The way I see it is that you do what makes YOU feel safe. If they can't handle it......then they can FU*K OFF ! Simple as that. | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 6/29/2006 9:02:54 PM | [Usually when someone wants to web cam, its to show me their weewee]
Leanne, i've had the same experience. one guy was sitting there nekid as a jaybird and had the microphone turned off. guess his wife was still awake!!!! i immediately blocked him. gawd, i HATE that. i've been asked to take off my clothes (or do other stuff). yuckkkkk!!! bloody pervs  anyone tries that with me - i'm gone. i am very leery of cams now. | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 6/29/2006 10:29:14 PM | I guess I would have been out of luck if someone insisted on seeing me on a web cam before meetin.My daughter bought one a couple of years ago, but I have no idea where it is now. I packed it away the last time I moved because when I tried to use it, it locked up my computer. It became too much of a hassle to constantly have to restart my computer.
And just because they are relatively cheap ($20-$30) does not mean everybody can afford to buy one (just my opinion which doesn't count for much) | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 6/30/2006 12:20:25 AM | Ok got tired of reading through all these since my last post
Whats amazing is how bent some of the guys are against showing your face(not penis) on a web cam...Its almost total anger at the mere suggestion...Sorry guys, women and men have been burned by losers who cant post their own pics on singles sites. Are the people that are so angered by this prospect afraid that the women they are chatting with may see something that isnt genuine?
I just think its a reasonable option and I def. am not afraid to show the person that i am on cam. Besides, while in the chatting stage, it is really cool to see the expressions on the other persons face. | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 6/30/2006 12:40:28 AM | | no anger here ma man, I just think it's creepy and a waste of time is all, you have to be able to read into a profile better than what and how your doing it. I have never been fooled before [except where there was no pic] .the arguement over old pics is valid, I have tons of pics [I wouldn't show them all but I would show enough to give a good idea of who and or what I look like, I prefer creativity and brilliance to figure out how to do something with out having to rely on yet another piece of equipment, are we really getting this dumb as a society that we cant even tell when someone is showing us old pics? here's a suggestion if you should run across a person you like but won't "cam" ask him/her for an old pic and then a new pic...is that so hard?... see my point. | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 6/30/2006 9:25:44 AM | heya james
I do get your point with it. My point is always leave more options open for getting to know someone. When people get really upset about anything that may expose more of them it usually indicates somehting that they dont want to show. Whether thats you or not isnt the issue as you have your own way of doing things which works. I dont require someone to have a cam for us to meet but it is nice. As previously mentioned I do like watching the persons face as we chat and have been told they enjoy the same. I also dont mind travelling a bit for a date either so a cam again is helpful when the distance prevents a quick get together. All personal preference. With women, I completely understand their wishes to see someone on cam (BOYS : THIS DOESNT MEAN YOUR PEEPEE) in an effort to minimalize their chances of dating a kook. | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 7/4/2006 3:07:51 PM | I just have to ask...
Aside from the idiots who show up naked when the cam comes on... which I would expect most women would end figuring out they were an idiot by chatting with them over time...
How are you really going to know if this guy is an idiot by seeing him on a web cam. Lets face it, all you are going to see is a guy sitting there typing, the occasional smile (we hope), and that is about it.
Yes, for those who looks are everything, there is a benifit to the weeding process... But that has not been the arguement here.
So... educate me... just what is it you think you are going to see?
T_M | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 7/4/2006 5:19:24 PM | heya tin man
you know if you watch the persons facial expressions as you chat,,you can see a lot...
When I go out on a date with someone, i usually look into their eyes when they talk..I want to know them and the eyes and facial expressions are great for that..with a good quality cam, you can learn a lot by watching them as they read what you have written and as they contemplate answers....Not to mention how they look when their faces light up :) | |
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| wouldn''t most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 7/4/2006 5:39:18 PM | I find that you can tell more about a person by their facial expressions and body language than by the words they speak. I have a webcam and I''m not afraid to use it - but as some people have already found out, I''m not going to put it on when I''m buck naked in bed...unless I know you really well. I like to see someone laugh when I say something funny, it''s a great thing to see their face light up, I can often read what someone is thinking from the expression they have - it makes interpreting a conversation a whole bunch easier. I do think a lot of people are overly paranoid, but we have the few (or many as it may be) wrecking it for the rest of us to blame for that - so you guys that are getting on webcam just to get your rocks off...thanks for making things more difficult for the rest of us - appreciated. 
I find that if I start my webcam first and prove that I''m for real, then usually the other person is more at ease with me and they will put theirs on to.  | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 7/4/2006 5:49:46 PM | I have to agree with wizard totally here. Anybody can type LOL or ROFLMAO but when you actually see that person fall out of her chair. It really makes me wish I could record the cam.
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| wouldn''''t most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 7/4/2006 5:57:31 PM | I would be fine with camming with someone that I was interested in, but a couple of things come to mind.
1) If we have never talked before, do not start out by sending me a cam request. If I do not accept, please do not follow that about five minutes later with another cam request. I appreciate someone actually taking the time to get to know me a little first, before assuming that I want to chat on cam.
2) I have a Mac. Unless you also have a Mac so we can use iChat, or something like iVisit that works on both OS X and Windows, camming with me is not even possible. | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 7/4/2006 6:03:20 PM | The minute a guy asks to see me on web cam I immediatley think he wants one thing.... and I am usually right.
I never web cam.
I bought it for my kids while they msn their friends and family. | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 7/4/2006 8:52:34 PM | I quite agree... in the sense that you can tell a great deal about someone by thier facial expression, particularely by looking into thier eyes.
However, in the couple of instances were some has used a cam, (because they volunteered, not because I asked) much of what you would have seen in person could not be seen on a cam.
Anyone can laugh or smile at a joke... the visibility of the eyes is not that telling... and in general you see someone sitting there typing. Yes, it is nice, but I would not have to bet the farm on it, as seems to be what some are indicating here. | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 7/4/2006 11:02:01 PM | | Web camming before meeting is a great idea ! however some people don't have them and in that case i would just want really recent pics so i knew what they looked like in the present and not be going by a pic of them that was like 4 years old...it's when they have no pic OR cam that i think its kinda sketchy and i won't meet them..webcams can also be misleading though....like the lighting may not be great and so they might not look as good on cam as they do in person....it's not shallow though | |
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| wouldn't most want to web cam before meeting?
Posted: 7/4/2006 11:14:07 PM | i agree with u icy , there are enuf liars and fakes in the real world u can see up front why would u automatically assume the ones online arent the same
if they cant ease ur mind up front then screw them thats just gnorant and selfish ofthem | |
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