| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 7:26:06 AM | Prenups absolutely. People who are splitting up may no longer remember how to communicate respectfully.  | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 8:15:18 AM | | you know I was reading this post britzle and I was like wow there are alot of untrusting people finally someone who shares my views a prenup marriage is not an arrangement it is sacred it is not an arrangement I have never been married and gone through a messy divorce no but when I get married it will be with someone I want to spend my life with if I am thinking about protecting my assets then I need to move on because that's not the one for me I should be thinking we are going to grow old together | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 8:29:00 AM | When I went to pre-marriage sessions in Nova Scotia in 1997, the guy who spoke on law and finances cautioned us about prenups - there, at least, they are only legally binding until your situation and resources change, e.g. you buy a house together, one partner gets a different job and starts making more money, etc. So either it has a limited use, or you need to keep revising and updating a prenup for it to be valid if you end up getting divorced way later. Houses are always split 50-50 in any case.
He also strongly cautioned against common law living together - do your research. Declaring yourself common law for income tax purposes doesn't give you any rights to shared property etc., and the legal side of things is very hazy. If you are going that route, you might want to look into the non-married partners declaration or whatever that Alberta has. In either case, talking to a lawyer is probably a good idea - there's never anything wrong with asking for the information you need to make an informed decision. | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 8:37:19 AM | Exactly "informed decision", heres one for thought, and hopefully it wouldn't happen, but if your partner dies on his way home or something, your protected from ruthless inlaw's!
Cmon people, someone here knows about ruthless inlaw's (i never been married, don't know if i ever will, wouldn't even care too much about a prenup, unless she has kid's or owns a house or something that was not a shared comodity before hand, and i get to keep my cat!) | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 8:44:15 AM | | if your thinking about the break up before the marriage begins I honestly think there is something wrong there and if they die on the way home hopefully you've been smart enough to have a will | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 8:45:06 AM | @ msg 24
The wisest thing I've seen on this thread so far. Just in my opinion, that is. If you go into a marriage prepared for it to end.....Why get married?
I say this as someone that should have probably had a pre-nup....twice! After a live-in and a marriage, I came out with less than I had going in. Still, when you make a vow to stay with someone until one of you dies, you have to be serious about it, otherwise why do it? | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 8:53:39 AM | The key is to find the right person and then you will not need to use a prenup.
I agree with you daisy....words to live by. | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 9:27:23 AM | I would never be married in the future without a prenup.
People can do some really nasty things if they are hurt. The more a person loves, the more angry they can be when the love is taken away.
I believe every human has a good side and a bad side.
I would guess the only person not willing to sign a prenup would have nothing to loose and everything to gain in the case of a break up.
Weezy | |
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nova00
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Joined: 3/19/2005
Msg: 34 | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 9:40:55 AM | | I would disagree whoahorse I would not sign a prenup not because the win or gain situation marriage is not about gaining material things it's about building a life together a forever thing I don't intend to marry someone who I need to think of the breakup before I even begin the marriage it is a sacred thing marriage is supposed to be spending your lifetime with someone growing old together if you feel the need for a prenup I would think this person is not for me and not because I have something to gain because I left my ex everything and we were'nt even married but because of trust if you can't even start a marriage with complete trust and are planning your breakup already I would feel that it is already doomed for faliure just my opinion though | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 9:52:59 AM | Are we neive enough to think that some people arent con artist's? Im not a con artist, but my ex was a really good one, where talking oscar nomination, i didn't know what was going on when i was at work etc.
So if one partner want a prenup, and the other say's no, maybe all they are, is a scammer, liar, cheat and thief, why get so offended, or on the defensive so much, usually when people get all offended and on the defensive it's because the other person is right, it could mean trust, or it could mean your only out for your own, I know nobody wants to think of that, maybe thats why so many marriages end in divorce these day's, people don't deal with the hard stuff and then don't know how to deal with problems when they arise. what about people who in every relationship their ever in becomes bored and cheat. They said they love you, so whats the difference, there is none, the difference is you let yourself get scammed by them, how do you or i know.
And this bull about if you love someone crap, alot of people loved someone, and they probably got taken to the cleaners the most. Just because you love someone don't make them honest, just because you love someone don't make them not do dumb thing's, just because you went to school don't mean you know math, just because you drive to work at 180mph doesn't make you a professional stunt driver.....Just because someone mention's prenup doesn't mean they don't trust you or are leaving.
*Disclaimer- The views of Rod, are only expressed by Rod, and may not reflect, the actual views of Rod. | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 10:05:17 AM | "The more a person loves, the more angry they can be when the love is taken away."
That's not love, just the mockery of it that we have become used to. Real true love will outweigh any amount of money, any day. | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 10:23:18 AM | | not offended nor defensive just giving my opinion on the subject yes there are con artists but there are just people who believe in real love and marriage, marriage to me is the person you want to spend your life with it means something to me and a prenup to me just means that the other person is yes not trusting I am not about to go into a marriage that I have to plan the divorce before we even begin and I would like to believe if I get married that it will be forever I know that does not always happen and yes today there is alot of divorce but if I can't see the forever in my relationship then I won't marry simple as that call me a dreamer yes I have been called that before some people are okay with prenups and that is great but it is just not for me if things didn't work out in the end I would be okay with just walking away from all the material things and ending with friendship which is exactly what I have done in the past | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 10:42:47 AM | I think a person's journey throu life is really going to make them view this subject very differently.
Before I was married, I did believe very much in love and trust and doing anything for the person you love.
IMO, sometimes you have to leave the person you love.
Weezy | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 10:43:37 AM |
Just because you love someone don't make them honest
Rod, how very true. Great post!
Weezy | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 11:06:38 AM | | Well thank you, and just to clarify, my post about defensiveness, wasn't aimed at anyone directly, i like seeing everyones opinion, and i don't think anyone is wrong. I think maybe it is all based on past experience, and if i was dating a girl who been through the ringer once, and wanted a prenup, no problem, its not that she don't trust me, she just learned a valuable lesson and wont go there again maybe? | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 11:23:17 AM | IMHO is a personal choice. Yes love and trust come into the picture. So does 'what if it ends'. Everyone has a past and hopefully learns from it.
Would I sign one? Depends on the guy that asks me and the circumstances around it.
my 3 cents  | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 11:25:07 AM | | If I was to go by my past, I would insist on a pre-nup. But I won't go by my past. I just think where SOME things in life are concerned... like the sacredness and sanctity of marriage....you just have to take a leap of faith. Otherwise, marriage is meaningless. | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 11:57:03 AM | Regardless of anyone's opinion, fears or experience, I would still not sign or have anyone sign a prenup. I was married for 14 years and in the same relationship for 18 years. We did not take advantage of each other in negative ways. We tried to keep it fair and appropriate for the best interest of the children.
I would not get into any relationship with negativity looming overhead. I would go in with eyes wide open and be well aware of the risks involved and recognize what I can live with and what I cannot. I would expect fairness always and maintain integrity at all costs. If I do it again.....I would not expect it to end in disaster. If I was requested to sign a prenup, I would simply say goodbye, it has been a slice!!! LOL....Prenup would not be necessary as there would not be a relationship with me anyhow. Wanting one would suggest that I am not to be trusted and they would not think the relationship would endure.
Believe me I am in court all the time and have seen just about everything!!! It has not changed my opinion. | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 12:08:07 PM | Well balanced, I just love your post. You are so positive!
My fear comes from the people I have seen get married, have VERY short marriages (less then 5 years) and the woman thinking she should now have half of his farm, that his great grandparents built.
Yes there are lawyers to protect from this kind of thing, but they are so exspensive.
I think once you see something like that, it really reminds you of the way people can change and be so hurtful and bitter.
Weezy | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 12:22:06 PM | Maybe this analogy will help,
You have to ensure your car, does that mean you plan on getting in an accident?
For the record, im a dreamer and could really care less about it personally, although if you go to get a marriage certificate theyll give you a lecture about prenup's (i hear they started this a friend was just saying, there sure try there hardest to get you signing one) | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 3:45:59 PM | I agree with Rod.
We can be dreamers or realists.
I think it is very important to be most hopeful for the future, but real about the possibilities as well.
"It is very sad that you have just lost your house and car and RRSP's...too bad you didn't have a prenup"....
How many people enter a marriage, are totally in love, think it will last forever..and then catch thier partner in bed with someone else? Things happen.
The most important thing to do is protect yourself!
Weezy | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 4:59:08 PM | I am a realist......quite practical and down to earth.....although, I may appear otherwise sometimes ...LOL.......however, I know me and I certainly know how to protect myself ...without a prenup....a prenup is not a guarantee in life........anymore than a gov't job ....hahahaha.......nothing in life is a guarantee......it is only what you make of it!!!
when it comes to relationships.....I expect to be with someone with similar values, goals and objectives....and I trust that I will :)....has nothing to do with having my head in the clouds .......hey, and am not personalizing this at all.....just my opinion ....... ...I truly believe you get what you put out there....tis my philosophy in life.......
I am sad to see that so many get screwed by other people...yes, agreed that is also a reality for some!!! | |
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| prenups and marriages today
Posted: 6/27/2006 5:07:35 PM | hmm marriage today is a joke
read the revelations where it says in the end times men will b lovers of themselves and there will b no natural affection to be found in man.
not only are matches n lighters recyclable but we are in the age of recyclable people,
so to the prenup idea, why not, unless the conditions of the wedding vows are met completely then i see no reason why ya should lose your assetsmaybe its time to make the wedding vows a legal agreement and document whereby if either party veers off it they are by law criminals subject to fines directly payable to the spouse or jail time etc etc | |
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