| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/28/2006 6:59:32 AM | Thank you for this list in message 47, Broken Wings.
According this list, I definitely fall into the real woman category.
Though I will admit I am probably not perfect, since I have actually turned away a few men - one who was an alcoholic, and was showing signs that he could be physically abusive; a few who came right out and said they expect to have sex on the first date. Other then that, I am the one that gets rejected. But I still keep trusting each person I meet, knowing that one day I will finally meet one of those rare decent men. | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/28/2006 8:26:25 AM | Broken Wings,
Are you sure you are female? If women would practice those five ideas with her man, I have no doubt she would find a "real man." I'm sure the ladies who do practice those actually have a real man in her life. Because they know it's unfair to "do" to a guy what you don't want a guy doing to you. I quote the word "do" because the saying goes "actions (doing) speak louder than words." Guys don't want to deal with your annoying BS and off-centered values for finding a man. It's so annoying going on a date and hearing all about the problems you had with your ex bf and how he was wrong to do this and that to you. I start thinking... I'm not a psychiatrist. This shows me you're not over him. So why are you on this date with me? I want to find out about you, not your ex bf! I'm sure if a guy started ranting and raving about his last gf, she would gather her belongings and hit the door so fast, he wouldn't know what hit him. Girls won't put up with it, so why should guys?
Are you sure number 2 is accurate (said with sarcasm)? No woman on this earth has possibly played mind games with her man. All these threads have proven that. Women are all perfect, innocent angels who have been had by men.
Women want men to forgive and forget. But, I suppose it's hard for a man to forgive a woman when she insists she's NEVER done anything wrong EVER. That attitude alone is what's not getting any of you a "real man." Being stubborn and ignorant are huge turn-offs.
The first thing to fixing any dating problem is admitting fault in yourself (guys and gals). And when a woman becomes so stubborn to the point she thinks she's damn perfect, but can come to these forums and complain to no end, it doesn't make guys feel sympathy for her. | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/29/2006 3:19:29 AM |
and suddenly its unfair?
Yes, it is. Don't use it as an excuse to treat others like crap.
Some men have been able to keep a strong hold on their masculinity and, oh heavens! do they actually 'respect' women??? They dont mind if she has an opinion! good grief, he needs to turn in his man card NOW!
Respect is earned, regardless of what gender you are. Making attacks on masculinity is a cop out. And you know it.
I don't buy into women mistreating men just as men mistreat women---two wrongs never made a right. If you're going to talk about equality, don't just give it lipservice---actually LIVE it for once. | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/29/2006 4:56:27 AM | Yourdarkangel, I see sarcasm is lost on you.
The OP is talking about 'real women' as if they were a separate species. I see 'real women' every single day, the ones caring for kids and working full time jobs and mowing the grass because they dont have someone to help them with it and dont expect someone to come along and do it for them.
I also admire and respect men who realize that they have responsibilities in life and dont have to be 'made' to do it, as Studly23 suggested in an early post. He wants to watch a ball game on Saturday, undisturbed. But it never occurred to him that maybe she'd like to do something on saturday too, besides fold laundry or catch up on housework she didnt get to during the week. He took the attitude that she isnt a partner, she's his mom too, because she's making him miss his game by doing chores. Why cant he take the responsiblity and do them without being 'nagged'? That was the point I was making. (I should have pointed out in my earlier post that the OP wasnt the one who said this about chores).
Its a common view that men who actually treat women with respect in general, are often times considered less manly than men who dont treat women well. Its sad, but true. And I didnt make it up or start that theory, nor do I condone it. | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/29/2006 8:18:15 AM | suzanne....I realize what you are saying.. and I can take the responsibility to do those sorts of chores without being told. I also realize she may have some desires to do something with him too. But why is it that when she wants to do something together, it’s often when the game is on? Or when she wants him to do chores, it’s at such an inconvenient time for him? I think a lot of women say and do things subconsciously that she knows will get under his skin. Then she can use this for ammunition to withhold sex or something else from him later. I hear married men talk about it all the time. But a lot of women don’t want to change this behavior. This is just one example of why I hear so many married men brain-washed to respond “yes dear” over and over. He’s been trained to give into his desires for hers to avoid arguments. And then we have forums here wondering “where are the real men?” To some degree “real men” have become extinct because many women don’t know how to allow him any freedom to be a man. Like someone said in another forum...she's only concerned about her feelings and desires. Hence one reason why we've heard the saying..."if momma isn't happy, then no one is happy." Why is momma's feelings so much more important than daddy's? This isn't to instigate an argument. Rather it's to point out trends and look at why men and women can't live together happily these days.
Also, I absolutely agree with your view that men who treat women with respect are often considered less manly than men who don’t treat women well. I believe this has to do with a lot of women expecting to be treated like shit because TV and magazines have portrayed men in a bad light. And when they don’t treat women like shit, they don’t know how to re-act. | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/30/2006 1:10:25 AM |
Yourdarkangel, I see sarcasm is lost on you.
No. I was glossing over it.
Its a common view that men who actually treat women with respect in general, are often times considered less manly than men who dont treat women well. Its sad, but true. And I didnt make it up or start that theory, nor do I condone it.
There is a truth to that. There are men that see that being respectful to women doesn't always work. And no, I'm not talking about men who have 'ulterior motives,' per se, as much as they have been taught from a young age that it is a civil and right thing to do, but found that in their interactions nothing good as been accomplished. Our culture has turned to celebrate overblown and negative sides of masculinity as more exciting and 'cool,' while self-restraint and positive roles of masculinity are downplayed or even disencouraged.
And there is also a flip side to the coin as well. I see certain women blasting men not on just this site, but in public, in articles, and in their dynamics with men. For some men, they believe it is a lose-lose situation in trying to treat women with a general sense of civility. Personality, I treat each individual case based on merit. I try to build a foundation with women that are proactive in creating a give and take situation in the workplace, or in social activities. But I shun women that don't contribute, run hot and cold, treat men with contempt or use them as doormats or are parasitical. Let's face it; there are (some) women that act as if men owe them simply because of their sense of entitlement. That's shaky ground to begin with.
(Before people get on their high horse and start flaming me here, notice that I didn't say ALL men this, or ALL women that. Chill. Please).
In opinion, either gender should practice a measure of self-responsibility, but you know how that goes in reality. | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/30/2006 3:24:27 AM | Thanks Studly23, one question to all? Just by Iming? and talking on the phone? Can you men recognize a real woman? Can you say if a woman is smart? kind hearted? with good personality? Because I sure can detect those with conversation with man, thats how my decision to meet them comes next. BUT they seem to go away and get scared after they for sure telling me how good I am , why is that? is it that the cost of gas is so high that they dont want to spent money? I offering to meet half way. | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/30/2006 3:27:54 AM | studly23
YES I AM A FEMALE...WHATEVER MADE YOU THINK THAT QUESTION?
ANYWAYS I MAY SEE THINGS IN A DIFFERENT VIEW THEN SOME WOMEN
BUT THAT, DOES NOT MEAN THAT I DISAGREE WITH ALL WOMEN! | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/30/2006 6:08:39 AM | "In opinion, either gender should practice a measure of self-responsibility, but you know how that goes in reality."
(somebody please tell me how to do that really cool grey-box thingy when quoting another post)
I agree DarkAngel, its a case by case basis. I see lots of men on here that are lost as to how to proceed. I see lots of women on here who are ready to give up because of the same reasons. All I can say to that is, assuming the next person will treat you badly isnt a very good defense after all. Its a fine line between giving too much of your heart and not giving enough. People get hurt when the other person realizes that this might not be the person for them, but they tend to go about it badly, either not calling, not letting the partner know, or sneaking around. But I digress........
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/30/2006 9:41:58 AM | ^^I can help you with that, Suzanne!
At beginning of quote, place the word quote inside these brackets---> [ ]
At the end of the quote, place /quote (meaning end quote) in the same brackets! | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/30/2006 12:21:05 PM | Broken Wings,
That was meant with sarcasm. The fact you don't view the world as many girls do is very unique. That's why I questioned your sexuality...in a sarcastic tone! | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/30/2006 12:40:10 PM | hey bro they are everywhere, all you have to do is find the one you like, take your big club nail her upside the head, and drag her back to your cave. how hard could that be?
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/30/2006 12:54:57 PM | I must be on the wrong planet! I'm a real woman and it seems to scare the hell out of men. Why is that?
We all put our pants on the same way(as far as I know) so why can't a straight forward, honest person, such as myself, and many others, find someone who is real as well.
Have I lost the ability to play the game as so many do? Or am I just tried of all the bull and prefer the forums over dating? God thats sad. | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/30/2006 1:13:55 PM | | To funny but we are here lol.we are looking to meet real men that are down to earth themselves as well.We all have to wait till the right person you click with comes along.or maybe you have met some and did not know it?Then the big question is do they feel the same way?? | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/30/2006 1:17:48 PM | I am authentic, I am real.........
Just read my profile, it's all there!
(Unless I made it up)
I've got that wicked sense of humor; won't leave me alone, LOL, LOL!!
Grins (wicked ones) 'n Smiles, Ally | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/30/2006 2:02:49 PM | studly23
I do view the world like many girls or should i say "women" do but sometimes i see it as men do aswell because there is alot more bitter/selfish women out there today doing what men "USE" to do and the men not doing, it anymore as in cheating/sleeping around/downsizeing women!
Now days i just seem find MORE women who bash/cheat/sleep around/downsizeing men! | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/30/2006 2:10:22 PM | | I would agree with your assessment Broken Wings. And it doesn't make the great guys want to get involved with such a smelly attitude. I think sometimes women feel they are entitled to more than what she deserves. So when she doesn't get that, she bashes men. My dad always told me that you "earn" respect, you don't "get" respect. The same goes for any other entity you desire in life. You demonstrate that you deserve it by earning it, not getting it because you are who you are. | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/30/2006 2:15:43 PM | Amen brother,
I heared what you have just typed echo across the universe. I always see women wanting to find the nice caring guy and then you see then with a man just out of prison or a a$$ from hell. The bad guy, the think they can change him and make him nice and caring but mostly people do not change. In fact I visited my ex from three years ago, hoping she matured, but in fact she has not changed a bit. Loves drama, nit-picking and all the other crap that goes with it. I am just about to give up and live alone till I die. Time is short and all that I have found is women that want to play games or just keep you on the end of a string. | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/30/2006 2:23:16 PM | To answer your question balistic82, I think lucilou started spelling it out. In my eyes, a real woman goes out with a guy when she agrees to it, not find an excuse when the time comes. A real woman doesn't play subtle mind games with men that men get chastised unfairly of starting. Say what you mean and mean what you say. A real woman doesn't disappear the minute a guy finds her genuinely interesting and you give him the idea you're genuinely interested in return. A real woman doesn't obsess about the monetary things and how much a guy makes to make her happy. A real woman understands that a relationship is about give and take. More importantly equality. Guys have feelings/needs (besides sex) in the beginning too and we want to know you have intentions of meeting those needs instead of constantly "what can he do for me." If there’s no reciprocation or appreciation, a guy won’t want to try and show you a good time because he will feel his efforts are going to waste and you may be missing out on a great guy. And most importantly, a real woman is accountable for her actions and ADMITS fault when she does something wrong. Too many women are stubborn and feel they have been born angels. WHATEVER!
There are as many female players as there are male players. And there are girls who get an ego boost at the idea of rejecting men who have genuine interest. You ladies ask that we get to know you on a personal level for who you are and not just on what catches our eye. Then please practice what you preach and give guys, who show a genuine interest, the time and location to meet and get to know you. Or else quit your complaining.
AMEN! | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/30/2006 7:01:33 PM | studly23
Thats right most people seem to FORGOTTEN how you DO get repect and its NOT giveing you E A R N somebody's respect would some of you ever walk up to somebody in P E R S O N and "DEMAND" them to do, things YOUR way or TELL them how to rasie their kids or how they SHOULD be taught some manners?.....
The person would probly turn around and ask someone like the ones on some of the fourms "Do you have a problem?" | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 6/30/2006 9:54:54 PM | I have a question to pose....ladies seem to bash guys left and right. And while we’re on this forum about where are the real women…has it ever been considered that all these a$$holes, dogs and players women bash and degrade are products of her own words and actions... like misleading a guy with subtle hints, unrealistic expectations, being standoffish, the inability to communicate, testing us by asking the “only-wrong-answer” questions that put us in your kennel? What about with actions like being indecisive about what you want from us? And when we do guess right, it never seems to be good enough. Do these traits/actions make you a real woman? Whatever happened to being happy with yourself? These all sound like mind games to me. Something girls claim over and over they don’t want but they seem to subconsciously do.
A positive attitude and showing appreciation go a long way towards finding a great guy! I realize past circumstances don’t always lead to positive attitudes and appreciation. But I know enough to not let my past failures affect my new possibility. With that said, I bet the anger and bitterness women have towards guys would go away if you demonstrated you understand what you are doing to good guys that you’ve turned them into the aforementioned a$$holes, dogs and players. When a good guy feels un-appreciated and treated in any of these manners, it makes him want to become those stereotypes. It makes him want to say the hell with trying to please her. Not sure if this has been hashed out or not, but it’s a different view on this issue and something that has been on my mind that I wanted to express and get opinions about. Hope this isn’t taken the wrong way. | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 7/1/2006 12:42:11 AM | I will tell you where. I am a real woman. they are here you just have to be less judgemental. You should not look for a woman with a barbie doll figure. look inside her heart instead of on her outside all the time. She is the one that wants to give just as much as you want to take. She is the one that has been abused so much she crys yet picks herself right up and starts again looking hoping that someday the real man will be there. She does have a temper sometimes and is not perfect because she is being lied to over and over but given the chance she will be the woman of your life She sits on her computer every night until dawn wishing that he would come along not prince charming but just the honest and respectful person that is out there waiting for her. She sees the inside of him and accepts the family he has as hers while he does the same. You do not look because you only see the outside of the person when the real woman is on the inside in her heart. So next time don't look at the picture but at what she says in her profile and the way she talks when she talks to you. You will find a real woman. I know there is a real man there so I am just waiting. Diane | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 7/1/2006 3:15:53 AM | | all women are real women, just the fact that we are alive makes us real i think you need to go love yourself you sounds kinda frustrated | |
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| where are all the real women?
Posted: 7/1/2006 3:22:38 AM | studly23
That was very well put i was begining to think i was the ONLY one who ever felt/thought that way now days and i always wonder how come some of US women ****/complain about not being able find a MAN/SOMEBODY then when we do find a MAN/SOMEBODY, we complain about every single detail of that person and how they arent "perfect" or "good" enough and we (SOME WOMEN) do not take the chance and look past apperience's their history(background). | |
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