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| Why are all my married friends controlled by their wives???
Posted: 7/18/2005 10:02:21 AM | well tyme.. i guess u had a few hours to kill..
Not at all. it took like 8-10 minutes to do "all of the above"
first of all... its chat.. i didnt realize my spelling was being monitored.. tough shit.. at least u could read it
Indeed I could. I have a Star Trek universal translator  for just such events, (J/k)
Why I found it necessary to comment was because of the dichotomy between your S/n and how you write. Normally I wouldn't criticize other's spelling errors/typos because I make some DOOZIES myself, but the irony just screamed at me
As far as insecure goes... look whos talkin.. u wasted probably an hour analyzing my opinion... to sway me to think ur smarter than me..haha.. ok... im feelin it.. NOT
Not at all. it took like 8-10 minutes to do "all of the above" and it wasn't written for you because you'd obviously be immume to the feedback. It was written for those who might have missed the irony and the "on point" illustration you provided
I raised 2 kids on my own, work hard, play hard.. im 40 and i have a right to control MY life... I wasnt talkin about urs.
actually you were preaching to others in a denigrating matter about how they are failing to control their men and how you'd keep your's on a short leash, ironically the topic of this thread. The juxtapostion was too good to pass up.
(total elapsed time on this post, 4-5 minutes) | |
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| Why are all my married friends controlled by their wives???
Posted: 7/18/2005 10:07:19 AM | | I think people need to take a step back and examine how they deal with the people they "care" about. Caring is not control. And a healthy relationship is not about control, but about freedom to love and care for one another in an adult manner. Control is the taking away of that freedom and any relationship where one person is taking all the time, should be ended or examined closely. | |
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~Ames~
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Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 82 | |
| Why are all my married friends controlled by their wives???
Posted: 7/18/2005 10:24:37 AM | | This is sooooo my question!!! It goes both ways, Mr. Flow!! It sucks! I am like the spawn of satan in my married friends eyes! Do you think my friends husbands like them to go out with me??? Heck no! And as far as our "girls night out"...it is more like "One girl night out", c'mon married people!!! Keep your individuality, that is what made your signifigant other fall for you in the first place!!! Besides that, it is healthy to have some alone time!!!!!! | |
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| Why are all my married friends controlled by their wives???
Posted: 7/18/2005 12:13:51 PM | Let me start by saying that its not only women who want the control or set what they want. Plenty of men do it as well.
There is a difference between committment and possession. Alot of people treat a relationship as a possession.....
Insecurity... Insecurity.... Why oh why...
People are settling for relationships they really should not be in. You should not be in a relationship where the other person is attempting to control you or is controlling you.
This is how i see it... You get your life in order first and then you find the person whom you choose to be your life partner. This person should fit in with people in your circle of friends and family. This person will love everything in your life the way you do and will compromise with respect to activities etc.
Relationships like this do not last. I've come across lots of them...
Why do people keep doing this to eachother? No wonder there is a high divorce rate (but keeps me employed, sorting all that out for those who wish to depart).
Sometimes however there are things within that relationship that perhaps we as friends do not know or see. Perhaps there is a reason why the woman does this to a man and vice versa. Personally i have never done this to a guy and no guy has done this to me, I will not let it happen. Why should i lose my idenitity for love, it shouldn't be like that. I dont see the point in taking away something that the person you "love" likes.. It makes no sense. It takes away the whole identity of that person and what they want...
Relationship in my opinion is two people coming together who will always have different views and different likes. Alot of people think, relationship you become one person.. That is not true and totally unfair to the other person.
Alot of women and men also, don't like their partners going out with single people because of their own insecurities.. Not because of you, who is single... I have a friend who is in a relationship like this at the moment. She keeps quiet to keep the peace but at the end of the day, it won't last.... he doesn't like her going out with the girls, I told her that its his own fear of perhaps what he may get up too whilst out with the boys...
shakes head....
I have no explanation as to why people in general do this! I've seen it sooo many times with people and i just think why.... Perhaps another one of life's many mysterys... | |
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| Why are all my married friends controlled by their wives???
Posted: 7/18/2005 1:04:58 PM |
C'mon guys you are "slightly" more pig-ish than we are...can we be honest about that at least? Look at the porn industry, a business which generates billions per year, who does that cater to? and the majority of sex offences and perversions are perfomed by.....?
From a women's perspective, I guess guys do seem a little more 'pig-ish.'
However, having just stepped out of the bathroom, I can honestly say that I haven't undergone any secret operations today, so I'm still a guy. So, in the meantime, I'll just remain with the thought that not all guys are 'pig-ish.' I will admit, I can't claim I'm perfect-I do and say a lot of stupid things. However, I won't hold up my actions and say 'most guys are like this.'
This doesn't explain why I've heard more women fart and burp at restuarants than men in the past couple months.
Yeah, men predominately watch and buy porn (guilty as charged). However, there isn't a huge market of men buying dildos (there are many stores that have 'women only' time periods-no men allowed, even the boss).
Considering the absolutely low number (hopefully) of men who commit sexual offences and 'perversions', I think it's unfair to hold that against most of us. | |
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| Why are all my married friends controlled by their wives???
Posted: 7/18/2005 2:06:25 PM | Well considering the response from the men here at POF trying to downplay the fact that they are more sexually "inclined" then women, ok fine then let's call it "one track minded" instead of "pig-ish"'.... when it comes to how they view sex, then all those stats about men and sex must all be bullshit and please don't compare a dildo to the porn industry. A dildo does not degrade men now does it? porn degrades women...not even a point of comparisson there. Still try to tell me the amount of dildos sold even comes close to the money made by the whole porn industry wich does cater predominantly to men! LOL If we were as "one track minded as men" when it comes to sex, the numbers would be equal not tipping the scales overwhelmingly in your favour!
And as for the dildo thing...some ladies like to have a little fun too while the men are glued to the tv wacking off...can you blame them? | |
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| Why are all my married friends controlled by their wives???
Posted: 7/18/2005 2:14:40 PM | | weeeeell that wasn't really the issue here Country and I agree with you. It was more all the men who get their backs up saying NO WE"'RE NOT when accused of being more "one track minded" than women when it comes to sex, hence the phrase someone else posted earlier "men are pigs" | |
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| Why are all my married friends controlled by their wives???
Posted: 7/18/2005 2:19:42 PM | I will admit I haven't read the entired thread (many of the posts) and I have to ask...
How many men are actually controlled by their wives, and how many use their wives as an excuse to get out of doing things with their buddies?
I know, in the past, I have used my significant other as an excuse to not do things (like going to clubs)- simply because I don't want to hurt my friends feelings.
I am not suggesting that Control doesn't occur with either sexe, but I don't think its as often as this thread is making it out to be. | |
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| Why are all my married friends controlled by their wives???
Posted: 7/18/2005 5:01:47 PM | | Perhaps it seems like control when its really growing with one another and wanting the same things. I agree, when people marry, there are often changes, especially if a new baby enters the picture. But change doesn't mean control. I agree with one of the comments that you need a bit of space. Perhaps 'balance' is the word we're looking for? But, a guy that gives up his Friday nights with the boys, is not an indicator of him being controlled...but perhaps, more of a sign that his priorities are changing and that he is growing with his wife. Love and marriage are a partnership that takes a lot of work. You can't grow with one another if you don't spend time with each other...but you can grow apart. | |
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| Why are all my married friends controlled by their wives???
Posted: 7/18/2005 5:07:25 PM | Well the dildo question is interesting. If billboards, magazine covers and TV commercials are responsible for making women feel uncomfortable with their bodies, self-esteem and self worth in general leading to a nearly infinite list of problems and disorders....what impact do dildos have on the men in our society? You think a Barbie doll is a gross misrepresentation of the female form...what about Dildos? Considering the average size of a male penis and the smallest Dildo I've ever seen ( and we dont' even need to get into the "Big Black Mamba" category of popular Dildos) perhaps the guy above does have a bit of a point.
Also, in regards to porn, a large number of women watch, and enjoy porn as HAHANOW pointed out. More and more women speak up about it as it becomes more socially acceptable and there are female owner/operators who make, distribute and star in their own movies now. Men have been the dominant sex for some time, many would argue that they still are in terms of controlling economic power, etc. This is why MEN watch and buy porn. As society changes, so do these "trends".
Whew, how off topic can you get? | |
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| Why are all my married friends controlled by their wives???
Posted: 7/18/2005 5:10:48 PM | I recently visited a married couple who were family friends and had been married for 12 years? I noticed they were in a battle, who has the control...that type of thing. They were often arguing, mainly about the children...the mother would raise her voice, the father would go louder, the mother would start yelling...it was nuts...haha I remember thinking, "Oh okay, she wears the pants in this family." then he would shut her up, "Oh nevermind, he's got her under control." When I told them I noticed this they said that there were stages in a relationship. They brought up an ex of mine and said "You were in the sweetheart stage at first...you can't live without eachother. Then you go through the battle for power. It has to be established who has the last say, which is what we're going through right now. Then you just live miserably for the rest of your life." Of course they were kidding in the last part.
Not all girls control the guys. I have many friends who are pip squeaks and ask how high when their bf's say jump. I don't think either way is a healthy relationship. Both should be equal. | |
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| Why are all my married friends controlled by their wives???
Posted: 7/18/2005 5:14:04 PM |
porn degrades women...not even a point of comparisson there.
Touching upon the theme of the thread, women are not always helpless victims. Those who have been forced into porn are degraded; those who choose it as a job aren't.
I had a roomate who worked in the industry. She worked in it to pay for her education.
We both had two university degrees.
As she says 'I went through two university degrees debt-free. I also bought my own place to live and a car that cost 50, 000 dollars, both with no debt. I wasn't degraded in any way, because I was always in control and didn't have anything to worry about. How much money do you have in the bank? How many cars do you own? Why are you renting a room, rather than buying your own place?"
Anyways, in this case (touching upon the theme of the thread), women are not always helpless victims.
Though I think this topic should be moved to another location... | |
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| Why are all my married friends controlled by their wives???
Posted: 7/18/2005 5:19:59 PM | Damn. I never had ANY control. I was locked in the house for 15 years, not allowed friends, money, contact with family....he chose what I read, the music I listened to and the colour of my hair. When I planted flowers he didn't like, he "accidentally" weedwhacked them....
I can really see where all wives are controlling b**ches! | |
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