KYAN
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Joined: 6/20/2006
Msg: 76 | |
| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/2/2006 10:32:35 AM | | I think it is great that woman will approach men first,it's just that if the woman is oldschool or old fashion then once she makes the first move,, it is nice that the man will come forward and let her know he's interested or not,and then perhaps start the dialogue between them.Both parties have to show interest in the other ,,again there is no book of rules,cheers.. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/2/2006 11:07:20 AM | Hey cs36html I understand what you are saying but approaching women in bars is not only adding more pressure to yourself it is also potentially dangerous. Many women frequent bars with the sole intention of being picked up or giving that impression just to get some drinks out of men. I gave up 'approaching' women some time ago as I never got any success outside bars and clubs. As for the ones who you can get off with in such places, quite often they have a string of former or even current acquintances and/or admirers and after a few drinks you can end up in a fight over her.
I now just concentrate on being friendly towards women and let conversation take it's natural course and one day the right woman will come along. I can certainly do without putting my neck out just to get my nose bitten off not to mention that wake-up nip on the backside that I have ended up with another self-centred **** who just wants all the attention.
In defence of women, what would people think of a woman who went round approaching men in bars? I think we all know the answer to that one. This is why women are pretty and have breasts they can advertise so that they can attract the opposite sex. I know, life stinks.
Leeanne is one in a million but 21st century or not this is as good as it gets, sorry. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/2/2006 5:58:10 PM | --flat rejection most times --
I've asked out 350 girls. exactly (I counted, and when I realized I was near 350 I decided to go for the round number)
I've gotten alot of "your not my type"s, "I'm not looking right now"s, and "no"s. my fav is "I'm not looking" followed by her getting a new boyfriend a week later. frankly, I'd prefer a no. out of those 350, I've gotten 9 "I'm not ready yet"s, and one girl actually said maybe!
rejection not most of the time - all of the time. | |
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sl004
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Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 80 | |
| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/3/2006 3:34:36 PM | Hi:
Being shy or being rejected are the two number one reasons! to over come this, you must take changes, but as you take changes you will strike out! Try 3 strikes your out as 3 Ladies and see what happenes. The choose is yours, no oneelse is going to get the girl for you, you have to do that yourelf!
Good Luck! | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/3/2006 6:56:17 PM | My theory:
If a woman approaches a man.. he thinks.. "ya, great she is interested... this one will be easy for me..."
They go along with it.. date you for a while, sleep with you, but never show any real interest that the woman really wants. The wait for you to call them and eventually cut the relationship short because it is "not what they are looking for".
I think:
Women need to wait for the man to approach. The reason for that is because if she waits she is sure to have a man who has made the effort to talk to her. So, because he initiated the contact he has decided in his mind that the relationship is something he will put effort into. This way the woman avoids short lived relationships with men who are just looking for "fun". (A situation that seems to happen a lot these days) | |
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vivid
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 82 | |
| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/3/2006 9:09:09 PM | Some women need to give out more signals. For example, on the train each day
going to work, I find myself checking out the beautiful girls - there are many ''cause
I live in Vancouver. Sometimes with eye contact they lock in and give a nice
smile and the opportunity presents itself. Other times I have a sense she''s interested
because I catch her glances but she''s not giving more than that so I can''t put
a fix to what she''s thinking and disregard her.
I never approach a woman that does not give out good vibes....besides it tells
me she''s not willing to "put it on the line" as much as I would. Bad form! | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/3/2006 9:38:22 PM | | It is hard after you get rejected a lot of times and embarressed. I'll be thinking I am looking good and see a good looking woman and I'll go say sometthing to her and you get rejected and she'll go get her friends and 20 women laugh at you in public, after that happened I am much more afraid of rejection. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/3/2006 9:50:59 PM | Nick, Dont lose hope, your time will come, dont look too hard. I think we should have it reversed, why is it so hard for women to approach guys?. Its our culture , we were taught to be a lady and wait for the man to approach. And its true, I approached a guy one time and he told that I am not a lady, because I have to wait a guy to do the approaching, I said thank you for the info and moved on. It didnt bother me at all lol. Another experience, I was communicating to one guy and he said he wants to know if I have a sexy body and I said so so, then he asked me if I could prove it, so I sent him my picture in the bikini and then he said , he cant tolerate lady who wears bikini, whats wrong with this scenario? Well cant win them all. Good luck to all the guys who are having a hard time approaching women  | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/3/2006 10:58:54 PM | Tropical Bird:
It's a two way street...you're talking about YOUR experiences and that's OK...but essentially what you're talking about is a power struggle....what I draw from those comments is....
"who ever does the approaching loses all the power in the relationship"....SADLY THIS IS TRUE in a lot of cases....how many guys do you think have been crushed by a woman cutting the relationship short?
....relationships are about compromise...if you feel that you either have all the power or have none...you should just walk away before more damage is done...... | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/4/2006 6:51:59 AM | ok i'm tierd of reading these lame excuses by guy's and the reasons they can't get a lady.
none of the ladies will come out and tell the truth so i will.
guy's it's energy plain and simple.
the ladies guard this secret religiously.
why are they with young guy's?
why do they reject you?
your levels of energy and strength are low.
the athletes that refrain from sex to maintain high levels of energy, guess what it's true!
the ladies derive thier energy from men it tranfers from male to female during sex.
so if you want the ladies become a rock a beacon of stength and energy.
and they will aproach you.
other factors come into play such as pier pressure and timing.
however most females will stop at nothing if you present a good fix of energy for them. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/4/2006 9:20:11 AM | ^^^^
I agree...but this goes both ways....
...I'm always upbeat and light hearted when talking to women I might be interested in...if they don't share that energy....there's not likely going to be much chemistry between us...I find a woman's personality can rub off on me...
....the women that have really GRABBED me...only had one thing in common...upbeat FUN personalities.....oh OK and they were physically "cute" in their own little way.... | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/5/2006 11:59:24 PM | If I get the sign...little voices go off in my head..
" Red team to alpa "
" Alpa, go ahead "
" We have visual on eye contact, and biteing of lip "
" RED TEAM GO "
" Roger...that is a go on the infultration "
Or sometimes its just agels and devels..
Devil : go over there and talk about her ass
Angel : noooooo....say something about her eyes
I think...yea eyes is a good conversationpiece!
Devil : p#ssy
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/9/2006 5:07:05 AM | well when you have been rejected 362 times with no date. out of that number, 8 were a polite "no thanks", the rest were pure insults like:
i would rather be dead than seen with you in public, i rather commit suicide than talk to you, why dont you kill yourself so women like me dont have to see you in public when we go out, i wouldnt date you poor ugly ass, when you win the lottory thats when ill date you only after you buy me a few new cars, if i was a hooker and you paid me $1,000 i still wouldnt sleep with you. oh and dont foget the drinks thrown on you and the ocasional slap. but i found a good way to stop the slap, when they make the attempt to slap you, just say "foreplay already", they wont hit you, they just run.
so i just let people hook me up versus asking a women out. i have had better luck with that than asking a women out. the way i see it, if the fist 200 said no, than the next 162 said no, what makes me think number 363 will be a polite no or the never heard before yes. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/9/2006 5:32:45 AM | The problem is, do you think you have to approach all women that tickle your fancy?
maybe narrow your selection criteria or don't choose at all, wait for them to show a signal that they like you and then move in. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/9/2006 5:48:53 AM | | well it has been from hot women all they way to she fell off the ugly tree, hit every brach, than cut it down and ate it. i have been rejected by women who were size 6, to women that were as wide as they are tall. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:18:27 AM | If it weren't so hard why are there so many internet dating sites out here? At least you know ahead of time that others you meet are available and also looking. Approaching strangers cold is a waste of time,because I have found that if they are attractive enough to approach, they are either married or already "taken." It is no more natural than selling something door-to-door. How many think they can just grab a samples bag and swagger off to endless rejections? See how long you can bravely tell yourself "no big deal...I'll just move on to the next block." Ever try selling by phone?
No, I've bucked myself up to approach a stranger enough times to know that, at least for me it doesn't work. Women are dodgy with strange guys, unless they are off-duty police, and no wonder. They are intimidated. They are married. That is why we used to hold community socials and barn dances, to make it safer nd esier (a little, at least) to meet others. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:30:47 AM | "become a beacon of strength and energy." Sounds good, like "make yourself irresitible," or "just don't take no for an anwer." Sure, I have days when I'm up, but who can sustain this on the 365 days a year basis needed to point your beam at the right woman who is available?
Or, you can start off feeling your oats and get shot down to "what's the use?" by those who see it as "cockiness" (no pun intended). | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/9/2006 9:19:06 AM | Part of it is natural due to our self-preservation instinct. The part that is unnatural (and which we are not wired to cope with) is our perception of a level of beauty which is not really there. Beauty which is largely fake and the result of much cosmetic effort.
To overcome this you need a logical interrupt. So do yourself a favor. Look at pics of celebrities with and without makeup. Also have a look at Extreme Makeover website and look at the kind of transformation that is possible. Women that look like 9s and 10s are really 7s and 8s. Pretty, but hardly anything to crow about. Add to this the fact that they shave parts of themselves, pluck unwanted hair etc. So how much value is really going on there? And with that in mind how hard should it be to approach a "hot" woman? | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/11/2006 9:33:56 PM | | I agree there's probably something suspiciously evolutionary in this confidence-energy thang. I wish I could do a convincing Tarzan yell. That would get their attention! | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/11/2006 9:41:11 PM | | because sales is hard. You are selling your face, height, appearance, and personality to a complete unknown stranger who could reject you, humiliate you. You are taking a chance. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/11/2006 10:10:59 PM | | I'm sorry blackaces.....what the hell are you talking about? Its like what killerdog says man its sales. You have to sell yourself. She has to "buy" whatever it is you're presenting. Now it's not hard for me to approach a woman because I truly believe that there is no woman alive that's too good for me. I'd hit on halle berry the same as the woman that lives across the street from me. Selling yourself, thats what it is. | |
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