pmynx
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Joined: 7/16/2006
Msg: 126 | |
| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/24/2006 12:37:31 PM | | Personally I do not "approach" men, I suppose it is my upbringing and concept of what is correct behavior of a "lady". On the other hand, if a man smiles nicely, I will return that smile. If he then approaches and says hi, then I am open to that as well. I tend to meet nice people more often during the day, at coffee shops or while walking, I don't go to bars solo. I've had great conversations in Powell's and other places as well. Once or twice it resulted in a date, but I don't automatically think "I'm being hit on". I think women have gotten a little paranoid about that. It shouldn't be that hard to feel safe to say hello to anyone, male or female, if anything further comes from it, then great but there's no way of knowing unless the attempt is made. Don't assume every woman is going to insult you, or deride you for taking a chance. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/24/2006 12:48:45 PM | | It's hard to approach women because you have too much attachment to what is going to happen when you do. If you approach them with curiosity rather than intent, you won't get hurt if they're not interested, you'll just know and move on. Realize that if you go out and talk to people, some of them will be interested in you without you having to do anything, just like happens to everyone else, and let go of the pressure on yourself to make it happen. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/24/2006 1:06:09 PM | Get real!!! We all have to have confidence in the dating world - since when was it easy for women???? Reality check! It's all give and take, we all have to have the courage to get ourselves out there and take our knocks! Oh yeah the guy take all the risks!!!! NOT!!!
As soon as people figure out it's just as hard for both sexes and get off the, 'oh it's so hard for me' BS then we will be on equal footing and it would be a whole lot easier to get a date and oh maybe get into a relationship!!!!
Believe me I have approached many a man in my time - I am not one to sit back and wait to see if someone may like me. I developed some balls!!!!!
At 24 you could learn a little from experience!!
It is easier for a woman. Maybe because your a woman you dont see it. I dont know. But here is the bottomline. 99% of women sit back and wait for thier prime choose of fishie to bite. If the perfect guy doesnt talk to them then they just string all the guys that are talking to them along. On top of that of those 99% most of them dont even know what a good thing is. So they truley miss thier chance. Add to that that most women are playing a game of how many guys I can screw/tease/ ect ect......
Now I do thank you, Leeanne, you are one of the 1%er if you do contact men. Which mean your probley get what you want if you keep trying.
Good luck all, throw back the catfish, because you know what they eat. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/24/2006 1:23:34 PM | Alexis2006 wrote: being put into a coma by her 7ft caveman boyfriend
Nah dont worry about the ape. If he gives you problems, plant him :P....Hey it worked for me. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/24/2006 1:41:19 PM | I think that most people find some people unapproachable men and woman rejection is a factor but i think is about self image hey take a chance you never know what could happen  | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/24/2006 3:12:18 PM | he he... there is a biologcal-social reason for that... but I won't get into it... it won't help you.
Try reading this book if you wish to get over "the approach fear": http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1411636600/sr=8-1/qid=1153778614/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-1618808-4113731?ie=UTF8
It is a fairly easy read, but do take the material seriously. Howerver you will soon realize the bigger problem... a problem which I believe somone already pointed it out: finding the right lady is really difficult! | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/26/2006 11:28:41 AM | Hey... I don't think Leanne is acting angry at all. She's just making some vocal and assertive statements...statements which are very enlightening to us Men, I might add... if we would just listen up!
As for you Men who claim to feel No apprehension, or trepidation... or anything when approaching a new woman..... I would seriously do a self evaluation check. There is a line (not so fine at times) between being confident and aggressive. The former is good... we all want to be there, the latter is not good.
For those of you who use 6 longnecks and a couple of shots to produce your 'confidence"... I got news for ya..... you have skipped over into aggressive....or just plain sloppy!
Ok. Why is it so hard for guys to approach women?
Well could it be... because in those few seconds before we do it...(if we can?) Virtually everything that we are.... all of our lifelong experience, skills, talents, knowledge, capabilities, usefulness, worth, esteem, manhood, confidence, boldness, courage, images, desires, needs, hopes.... and even dreams: Hangs in the very balance! time slows down, things become blurred, everything is in slow motion, our feet weigh 500 lbs apiece...our mouths become paralyzed (like we are having a stroke), our brain shuts down, circuits are overloaded, our memory is gone, .... the simple strange female we are approaching, becomes a glowing unattainable goddess...sitting on a throne high above us with a thousand steps leading to her. A thousand other men are allready on these steps...everyone better looking and richer than us! And yet...we must continue! We must make that approach. We must climb those stairs into that blinding light which exposes every pimple and flaw we ever had! And we must casually and attractively utter those first crucial few words....in spite of all this, as if it didn't matter a damn bit! ha ha!
Maybe, just maybe..... this is why it is so hard for guys to approach women????? | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/27/2006 1:54:12 AM |
Nuff said... Why is it sooo damn hard??
I didn't read this whole thread.. but my answer is "its really not".
I mean, you either do it or you don't. I have more fear that she's not going to be what I expected, or maybe smokes and I don't know it, or some other weird thing that you can't tell just by seeing them than I do actually being rejected.
Then you get caught in the hang up of fearing that "Great, I approached her and now I'm no longer interested" and wind up feeling like a****
*That* is pressure. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/28/2006 1:28:38 PM | geesh..some people and thier comments...captain stinkfish..no that isn't my step dad..that is the most caring and compasionate guy..that knows how to treat a lady..why don't you just stay offline if your going to smart off anyhow..we don't need people like you on here..so just stay offline and be with whoever dates someone who post a fish for there pic..come on now.. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/28/2006 2:00:31 PM | Hmm..for one he is not as old as you think..He is only 32 so for one he is around my age..geesh..i sure do know he knows how to dance ...well anyways im not going to waist my time on letting you get to me..im happy and for someone who like to smart off you must not have a happy life of your own ..not to keep your comments to yourself..and you must not be happy..to be putting other people down..well later.. | |
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skruss
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Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 144 | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/28/2006 5:33:02 PM | Because you CARE too much what they think. Think about it. You can't change what they think. All you can do is be yourself, be confident, and put your best foot forward and trust me the chips will fall where they will. Why worry about the outcome?
Don't approach them to ask them out!!! Approach them to have a casual conversation and then ask them out.
Why put your whole bucket of self esteem there for them to dump out? | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/31/2006 9:29:02 PM | | Sure. Go ahead and practice. Approach them and somehow get a casual conversation going. Result-ten casual conversations and no date. What woman won't see right through a stranger who sidles up and starts a 'casual" conversation? How many have met their true love this way? | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 7/31/2006 11:56:41 PM | Until you are 2 years old, you have no conscious memories. This part of the brain does not develop until your 2nd year sometime. Before that, everything you learn is unconscious learning. Which means you believe it, you do it, but you're clueless as to why. So if your mom was too busy smoking dope, chatting on line, or hitting the bars--you probably suffered a lot of rejection and the unconscious learning was that women are rejecting. (vice versa for women---although for girls it seems to be much more common to have been abused by dad and the unconscious learning is that men are abusive and you are powerless to stop it.)
It is also common knowledge that we are drawn to people as partners who remind us of our opposite sex parent. So whatever you suffered that first year or two of life, you will keep repeating throughout your life.
That's why women are drawn to bad boys if their father is--despite the promises they make to themselves that they will never marry a man like their dad. And men fear rejection if their moms were just too busy and pushed them away.
Plus, guys, if you were rejected by mom, everytime you approach a woman and she rejects it -- it's like she just poured salt on the old wound left by mom. Ouch!!! Hurts very badly. That's why it's so scary to try again.
So for those of you who fear rejection -- you probably have good cause to. For those of you who don't -- lucky you but you have no clue how lucky you are.
There -- that's my 2 bits. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 8/13/2006 11:09:32 PM | Thanks. You know I'm into psychology. It's just a bummer that no one's still reading this thread to get the info.
Anyway --- I have to say that I have sent men on this dating site, and other dating sites, e-mails asking to chat or talk and 99% of the time they don't respond. Go figure. All this talk on here about all these guys who want to be approached. But when they are, do they respond? Not to me.......... | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 8/15/2006 8:17:50 PM |
Anyway --- I have to say that I have sent men on this dating site, and other dating sites, e-mails asking to chat or talk and 99% of the time they don't respond. Go figure. All this talk on here about all these guys who want to be approached. But when they are, do they respond? Not to me..........
Maybe you give the impression you are no more than platonically interested. Analyst's trap? | |
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