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eman07
| | Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 201 | |
| | Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??Page 9 of 12 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12) | Here we go......
Im sitting at a bar, notice a table full of women, i notice one that im attracted to...so i decide to go up to this group of women. NOW....at that point i have to come up with something "witty" and "funny" as my opening line. Because not only do i have to impress you, i have to impress all your freinds, cause if one freind doesnt like me...well you wont either (women dont argue this point....i will fight to the death to it)......now, as im talking to you, i have 3 to 4 other women staring at me, looking at what im wearing, looking how my hiar is...looking for anything that might be wrong, or right with me, so they can tell there g/f when i leave......I have done this knowing that you probably get approached a lot during the day, so again, i have to sound "different " than the other 12 men before me who have approached you with "lines" . BUT...if i throw "lines"...then im just out for sex...but if i DONT sound witty, well then all of a sudden im boring.....ho hum.....and well, you might be one of the girls that actually give me your phone number, but all in all...usually men have about a 4 out of 10 success rate......(thats 6 rejections in ten if you suffer in math)......
this is pretty much the situation 80 % of the time....and yet we STILL have to keep on going and pursing the women with all this on our plate......
SO.....forgive us if every once in awhile we dont approach you...dont take offense to it...just realize what we go thru EVERY TIME we approach women...... | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 8/31/2006 3:03:18 PM | ^^^ but all in all...usually men have about a 4 out of 10 success rate......(thats 6 rejections in ten if you suffer in math)......
this is pretty much the situation 80 % of the time....and yet we STILL have to keep on going and pursing the women with all this on our plate......
SO.....forgive us if every once in awhile we dont approach you...dont take offense to it...just realize what we go thru EVERY TIME we approach women......
WOW........that's a pretty high rejection rate. Maybe you're approaching the wrong women OR the wrong type of women??? | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 8/31/2006 3:43:12 PM |
WOW........that's a pretty high rejection rate. Maybe you're approaching the wrong women OR the wrong type of women???
Or reading the wrong signs.
If she...
Smiles at you a lot
Makes a lot of eye contact
Winks at you
ANYTHING to show that it's you she's looking at and perhaps interested in.
Most men who are rejected when they approach a woman are rejected because they misread the signs. If I see an attractive woman and make eye contact and she doesn't smile, return the contact or give me any sign that she would welcome me introducing myself, I don't do it.
The odds are much greater when you know how to read signs.... | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 8/31/2006 4:10:39 PM | | Its not hard at all, if the woman knows her part too. She has to get close to the guy and make eye contact and cant be constantly surrounded by a bunch of goons plying their sorry "game". | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 8/31/2006 4:12:23 PM | hey!emano07
I was thinking about the situation that you describe,, and I think I came up with something that might work!! no promises, but I think it is worth a try! approach the table of 4 women and start by telling them about how you have a friend who is having a 1 year aniversary and you were trying to figure out what is a good gift for your friend to give his wife that would really impress after 1 year, and then explain how you could really use a womens perspective, tell them they would really be helping you out? tell them to think it over for a bit and discuss this, then excuse yourself and go get a drink from the bar. be sure while doing this to make eye contact with the girl you are most interested in! then return to your friend and wait and see if anything happens!
try it and see what happens,, and girls some feed back on this would be great! this is just a thought and I have never tested it,, but curious as to what you all think?? | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 8/31/2006 4:34:36 PM | KittyKat2006
60% of the population is of age or older
35% of that 60% are married or living together
6% of that 60% are in an alternative
That leaves 34.5% of the population of the of age people in the dating pool
52% are women
That leaves 18% of the of of age people are nonmarried/livingtogether hetero females
I can't find a stat for it but let us assume half have boyfriends
We are down to 9% of the people that are of age are available to date
If we factored in the percentage of the population that a woman would consider dateable
.................................well you get the picture. (maybe 3 or 4 %)
So if guys are getting 40% acceptance thats awesome
I still say SOCIALIZE, SOCIALIZE, SOCIALIZE | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 8/31/2006 9:23:14 PM |
So if guys are getting 40% acceptance thats awesome
I still say SOCIALIZE, SOCIALIZE, SOCIALIZE
Again, I say WOW!! I think if I were a man and that was the case, that would encourage me to work at it even harder. Of course, I'm not a man, so that's only what I think I'd do. And, yes, Wullis, I agree with you totally on the SOCIALIZE, SOCIALIZE, SOCIALIZE part. I'm a social butterfly, myself! Big Grin!! Have never met a stranger in my life!! Kat | |
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eman07
| | Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 208 | |
| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 9/1/2006 8:03:19 AM | ^^^^^ this is my whole point.....very easy for WOMEN to claim to "try harder" when they are NOT teh ones usually persuing.......we have to do it, and deal with the rejection most of the time.
when i gave out the 4 out of 10 times we might succed in getting postive action from a women, what i meant was that it happens she might give you her phone number and you actually GO OUT.......chicks give out there phone numbers all the time, and dont even bother to go out with the dude.......(or just give out a wrong number).....
Im not bitter, im just posting reality here. I have no problem finding dates, nor do i have problem talking to women, its just that women in general dont know what really goes on when we have to approach a women and start talking to her.
all i hear is "just come and talk to me"..SURE!!!!! NO PROBLEM!!!!.......what they forget to add is this....."just come and talk to me.....and.....be funny, be whitty, complement me at the right times, but dont complement me on the same thing the last 5 guys have complemented me on, sound different, dont stare at my breasts which i have half way hanging out to attract men, dont be to pushy, talk to my girlfriends and make them laugh, and then MAYBE i will give you my number for us to go out....... | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 9/1/2006 9:53:01 AM | all i hear is "just come and talk to me"..SURE!!!!! NO PROBLEM!!!!.......what they forget to add is this....."just come and talk to me.....and.....be funny, be whitty, complement me at the right times, but dont complement me on the same thing the last 5 guys have complemented me on, sound different, dont stare at my breasts which i have half way hanging out to attract men, dont be to pushy, talk to my girlfriends and make them laugh, and then MAYBE i will give you my number for us to go out.......
Eman07, Sweetie........you are talking like "all of us" are like what you described. Not so. I "always" take it as a personal compliment anytime a man asks me to dance. And, he doesn't have to be funny, witty, gorgeous, compliment me, etc, etc, etc. So, give some of us a break, okay? Now......just because I'll dance with him, once, twice or more, doesn't mean I'll go home with him, agree to marry him or even give him my phone number. He knows if I'm interested in getting to know him better or not. Do you REALLY want every girl that agrees to talk to you to give out her phone number? If they did, that would mean they just give it out to all men.
But, you are right......there are great differences in men and women and I have no idea what it's like for a man to have to approach a woman. All I can say is.....Thank goodness I don't have to know! Smile! In the meantime, Eman07, if I was younger and you were many miles closer, I'd drag you out on the dance floor anytime, Cutie!!!! *Wink* | |
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eman07
| | Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 210 | |
| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 9/1/2006 12:13:50 PM | sorry, didnt mean to say "all", shoulda said "some".....just goes with all the rest of the generalizations that go on in this forum......
1. man is a stud, women is a whore if they both sleep around
2. man lives at home, he is momma's boy, irresponsible, doesnt want to grow up, a women lives at home, she is trying to save money and get her life back together.
3. women are out for money, men are just out for looks
4. women have tons of guy friends she is just freindly and has lots of freinds, a man has tons of women freinds, he is a player, and doesnt want to settle down
5 a guy that goes to a dance club (meat market) is there to get laid, a women is there to just "dance"
I have so many more, but just a few to ponder..... | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 9/27/2006 7:04:00 AM | this is funny, eman, read it:
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish.................................49.
Adventurous......................Slept with everyone.
Athletic..............................No breasts.
Average looking................Moooo.
Beautiful............................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure...........On medication.
Feminist.............................Fat.
Free spirit...........................Junkie.
Friendship first...................Former slut.
New-Age.............Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned......................No BJs.
Open-minded.......................Desperate.
Outgoing.............................Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional.........................****.
Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.
Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate.................Stalker.
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
I hope it helps?
Time to end this subject, 9 pages!!!!!! | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 9/27/2006 7:35:10 AM | **very english**** 
rejection is part of life...go for a job interview and you didn't succeed in getting job; participate in a sporting event competition and get booted out; so what's the difference of approaching (men or women) at a bar and ask them to dance then they respond 'no thank you'? hey move on...most of them will be polite about it....but I have noticed a handful being non-responsive and turn the other way!  | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 9/27/2006 7:40:09 AM | Leeanne you do seem angry. Anyway, this reminds me of a thread where pretty women were complaining about guys not approaching them. What's stopping them from approaching the guy they have their eye on? Leeanne you get respect from me because you've approached men but the majority of initial contact is a man approaching a woman. I am trying to see how this can be stressful for a woman if she doesn't find the man attractive. If a woman like a man there's no rule book saying its against the rules to approach said man. I've known a lot of girls who told me after years of knowing me that they liked me but they were waiting on me to say something. ?
She does'nt seem angry at all ,well said girl. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 9/27/2006 5:03:42 PM |
nothing hard about it at all,, the guys make it tough for fear of rejection, being yelled at or low self esteem.. nuff said
Very nicely put. That fear of rejection is what prevents most men from approaching women. Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 11/23/2006 2:03:25 PM | I used to go out a lot. I got approached by women, asked to dance, grabbed, winked at etc. quite a bit so I think there are a lot of women that do take the initiative. I never really talked to any of them though. I always thought they were up to something. Looking back now I think I was kind of dumb to ignore it. Live and learn I guess. lol. I actually never dated much because approaching women is something I don't do. Anyone I've dated has asked me out.
I'm not really sure why it's so hard to do. I read that the best way to get over the fear of approaching strange women is to go to the mall and talk to as many strange women as possible. By the end of the day your fear will be gone...or you'll be kicked out by mall security.  | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 11/24/2006 3:58:15 AM | If you want to simplify life, always go directly to the source of anything. If you have a problem with a person, don't work or talk to "someone else about it" -- go right to the person, even if it's upsetting or hard.
If you like someone, it's going to ache like hell and cause a lot of stress, but do it. Simplify, go right to the source. If you're rejected, you've still done "right" -- just desensitize yourself from the anxiety of the interaction. Treat it like you're practicing for a play, and you're an actor improvising your lines on stage.
You will simplify the frustration in your life greatly -- not just in this one area, but many others when you risk the discomfort and anxiety of making the decision. Until you're ready to do it, take your time -- but eventually you'll need to take your man-card out of your pocket, take your brass balls in your free hand, and say "I don't feel a vagina here....I guess I'm a man, so I better do what men do...and take the risk." | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 11/24/2006 9:38:38 AM | | I think these days it's becoming more frequent that women approach men. I like it, it shows confidence. I have no qualms about approaching women. I'm just a friendly old soul though | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 11/24/2006 10:44:09 AM | Anyone that would say, "get some balls" is making a male directed, sexist driven statement.
Fact...women who claim old fashioned values, are selective in where those values are applied. Very handy for avoiding rejection...it's on the guys. 1 in 15 women asking a guy to coffee is not women sharing the risk...it's some women sharing the risk. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 11/25/2006 4:58:49 AM | i originally had a huge long answer to this, but now I have another answer... JUST DO IT!!!!
I mean... what's she gonna do? What's he gonna do!? WHATEVER! If they have the nerve to shoot you down in the first thirty seconds, then trust me you're better off!
Try something a little more low profile. The bars, pucs, etc... are foreplay grounds and people thrive on the attention! What ever happened to "hangin' by a moment". You see someone, you smile, you give a dorky wave, you laugh openly at yourself, and you move in for the kill! Relying on the position of the stars and the sun along its ecliptic is not the way to go when judging when the time is right. No better than now!
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 11/25/2006 5:01:20 AM | sorry... "pubs" wow!! I can't meet a good girl to call mine nor can I type apparently! MEN!!! WRITE THIS DOWN!!! I am openly cutting myself down in a humorous fashion... its worked before! On that note... hi ladies! | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 6/22/2010 7:18:53 AM |
--flat rejection most times --
I've asked out 350 girls. exactly (I counted, and when I realized I was near 350 I decided to go for the round number)
I've gotten alot of "your not my type"s, "I'm not looking right now"s, and "no"s. my fav is "I'm not looking" followed by her getting a new boyfriend a week later. frankly, I'd prefer a no. out of those 350, I've gotten 9 "I'm not ready yet"s, and one girl actually said maybe!
rejection not most of the time - all of the time.
Women are INCREDIBLY easy. ..And that is not a slight- women should be easy; hell, that is one of biology's chief designs. If you find women difficult to attract it uniquivocally means that you are doing something wrong.
Just because women are 'easy' doesn't mean that there is not a specific way to go about succeeding that if not followed will result in sure failure. Tying shoelaces is 'easy'; does that mean that you can just do any random action and expect it will result in successfully tying your shoes? No. You need to first learn how to attract women and only then start approaching women. | |
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| Why is soo hard for guys to approach women??
Posted: 6/22/2010 9:48:52 AM | Guys make me laugh when they make evaluations about approaching women like 'it's a risk..' '..it's hard selling yourself'. - Women were literally created for men to communicate and have relationships with and to procreate with (and historically, to serve as followers to men's lead in civilization). Really, there are few things IN THE WORLD that should be easier for a man that approaching a woman. Especially if a man believes he is of high value himself: really, what woman would ever turn down a man of high value who *communicates* (as opposed to giving her an first impression ultimatum) opportunity and a possibility of interest to her? This is exactly what women hope for in life more than almost anything. Rather than think of it is an entreat where the spotlight is on you, the man, and all your inadequacy- think of it as you being a high profile talent scout, and the women around you are amateur baseball players all looking to hopefully score a position of favor with you.
^Also ***KEEP IN MIND*** (of utmost social importance) that it is the weakness of so many men in this area that gives women a sense of power and leverage in public socializing. The very fact that you express your weakness and notions of inferiority about interacting one on one with women is what gives them the idea to try and make it more difficult for you! The fact that you sound so weak makes women less interested in the prospect of men like you approaching them in public. Rather, think of yourself as 'The Bachelor'; where if anything, an approach from you is more so a desire of them more than you. For a valuable man, he should be more burdened and disinterested by approaching a woman than the women is from him approaching her. | |
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