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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/4/2008 8:15:24 PM |
gosh, after reading this thread i started to feel like the only straight female freak on earth ( or POF).
You are not the only one, me 2 !!! :):):)
This is something I wrote on Yahoo 360. Ib elieve it probably applies here as well.
I guess all of the freaks and sex-feigns left myspace and hopped onto 360. Has bisexuality become a fashion statement or what? Surely not. Lord have mercy, all of these dumb-ass skillet lickers saying they are proud of it. Jesus! Um, FYI, wtf is up with your minds? I mean, I'm all about kinky sex, but not with another woman?!! I'm enough woman for myself any day of the week. I guess I'm just too damn jealous to have another chick in bed with my man. I wouldn't know whether to watch or jump up and kick her ass. LOL. Crazy day. Going to sneak down to the end of the holler and sup around. LOL. Have a great day. | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/4/2008 8:19:14 PM | | If a woman is open to being with a female, she's not "normally heterosexual." | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/4/2008 9:19:15 PM | I think homosexuality and lesbianism is repugnant.
That being said.....it is a known fact that women need affection and a good number of them will turn to another woman to get the affection they need when they can't find a man to give it to them. Some need the bosom buddy thing. You'll never find a strait man going for that with another man unless he's a flaming faggot however.
I think many women if they are neglected in the area of affection might become confused and turn to other women sexually and affection wise. Others do it to "give them a man's power"....but lesbian sex is unhealthy and destructive just as homosexuality is for a man | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/4/2008 9:26:15 PM |
I think many women if they are neglected in the area of affection might become confused and turn to other women sexually and affection wise. Others do it to "give them a man's power"....but lesbian sex is unhealthy and destructive just as homosexuality is for a man
LoL. | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/5/2008 4:44:04 PM | ^^
I second that LOL. And I rarely use LOLs.
I guess all of the freaks and sex-feigns left myspace and hopped onto 360. Has bisexuality become a fashion statement or what? Surely not. Lord have mercy, all of these dumb-ass skillet lickers saying they are proud of it. Jesus! Um, FYI, wtf is up with your minds? I mean, I'm all about kinky sex, but not with another woman?!! I'm enough woman for myself any day of the week. I guess I'm just too damn jealous to have another chick in bed with my man. I wouldn't know whether to watch or jump up and kick her ass. LOL. Crazy day. Going to sneak down to the end of the holler and sup around. LOL. Have a great day.
Good Lord.
I guess yours is the ONLY proper opinion, right?
If I'm reading this right.. anyone who is bi or gay is stupid, far as you're concerned. How charming.
The stuff I read here never EVER ceases to amaze me. The idiocy, the close-mindedness, the folks so SURE that their opinions are gospel, the sub-moronic hate that spews freely...
Boggles the mind, it does. | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/5/2008 7:05:09 PM | I'm not saying that they are stupid, I'm just saying it has become a "trend" rather than a sexual preference. Everyone is bi or tri or P.O.F.-di-fied... I mean, it's alright when people love each other and decide to do the gay thing, that's their business. I don't agree with it, but that's their butt not mine. It just seems like a lot of young girls (my age and younger) are bi these days. It's just a trend, no real emotional background. Just sex, no love... That's what I meant.
Go look at the profiles on Yahoo 360, maybe then you will understand. | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/5/2008 9:21:40 PM | Interesting...
If I take this post above and the previous one.. the difference is like night and day.
One's repugnant and the other has an almost "live and let live" quality to it.
So I'm wondering which is the real opinion. | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/5/2008 9:52:22 PM | | i went through a 15 year period of flirting with bisexuality , and loved it, I always called myself a Try-sexual, I'd try anything more than once , made me happy so why not, I got into some very erotic encouters back in the day with woman , sometimes with men watching, the kind people wank to on the web lol , but I've since lost interest in toying with girls , now its just men... | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/6/2008 1:47:29 AM | I don't consider myself a lesbian or even bisexual, but I still think that the female body is extremely beautiful. I don't think I'm completely hetero either, more soemwhere in between. I tend to be drawn to beautiful women visually, but emotionally I feel closer to men.
I know a lot of my girlfriends are also attracted to other women but haven't ever acted on it. I think women tend to be looser with their sexuality than men because they don't have to be afraid of the ridicule that men often face for having bisexual tendencies. | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/6/2008 5:59:56 AM | | Well, the first one I wrote out of response to my x's new friend on 360 (aka green-eyed monster). But, it's true. I don't really consider myself a jealous person, but I'm not into sharing... I think the second statement says the same as the first, just in a different way. Take care. | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/6/2008 7:05:10 AM | Women and women's bodies are a thing of beauty art if you will, and they are so sensual and ooze sexuality so two of them together are just amazing to behold..maybe its just me, soft skin beautiful lines.. their scent..i'm just saying its a beautiful thing is all so if its a trend well i hope it last a long time..better than some of the trends out there | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/8/2008 9:53:49 AM | Okay, I gotta speak up here. There is way too much ignorance expressed in these posts, not that I think that I'm going to change that.
I am a 55 year old bisexual woman. I first realized I was bi during high school, while I had a boyfriend, when I developed a crush on a girlfriend of mine. I never pursued that one but a few years later my first lover was a woman 15 years older than myself.
I was married for a number of years, divorced, and after that lived with a woman as her lover for six years. During that time I decided I must be a lesbian and presumed that some of the problems I'd had with my husband must have stemmed from that. When I later fell in love with a man, something I didn't think I'd do again, I had to accept that, indeed, I was completely bisexual. That last "coming out" was difficult because, at the time, most of my friends were gay or lesbian and I feared their rejection. Fortunately, I had found some wonderful, tolerant, accepting friends whose reaction was, "We don't care who you sleep with, we just want you to be happy." These are the kind of people I want to have in my life.
Since that time I've dated men for a variety of reasons. I've met one woman who I'd love to be with but she's straight. Dating men is socially more convenient and I don't fit well into the lesbian scene, but I'm still quite capable of loving someone of either sex. For people like myself, it's about the person and not their equipment.
There are a lot of misconceptions about bisexuals among both straight and gay folks. Gay folks distrust us and think we're afraid of being completely gay or "on the fence." There's also resentment that we can easily be perceived as straight and therefore take advantage of the privileges that society affords heterosexuals. Straight people think we're incapable of being monogamous and the (annoying to many of us) reaction of many straight men is immediately, "Oh, boy! A three-way with two women!"
For the record: most of the bisexuals I know are not interested in three-ways. For some folks it *is* a transition phase to being completely gay, but for many of us it is who we truly are.
I won't go into why it seems more acceptable for women than men, but in my and many others' experience it seems more prevalent among women than men. Some psychologists posit that it may be because our first love object in infancy is our mother and that makes it easier for a woman to love another woman. I don't know and I don't care.
Our sexual orientation is not a choice. How we respond to it is our choice, but that orientation is a part of us that we did not sit down one afternoon and make. If you are heterosexual and think that it is, look at yourself honestly and tell me the day you sat down, weighed all the possibilities, and made a decision to be a heterosexual. Silly notion, isn't it?
Why the trendiness among young women these days? I don't know. As society becomes more lenient around sex I suppose it's not surprising. For some it is a passing "experiment." However, it is also allowing expression to something that has been there all along, though repressed. As for who is a bisexual? Are you bi if you have fantasies but don't act on them? Well, are you still heterosexual if you are celibate? I think people get to decide for themselves and their sense of who they are may change over the course of their lives. Observation of human beings will make it obvious that sexuality can be fluid. Heterosexuality may be what is dominant, but variants can and do exist and always have.
I do not advertise my orientation, though my closest friends know. I do not hide it from my lovers. I don't mention it when I meet a man but if the relationship continues and I think I might get involved, I tell them. None of them have cared and if they did, they wouldn't be the kind of person I'd be interested in anyway. I haven't brought it out in the open in POF forums until now precisely for the same reason I generally don't mention it to casual acquaintances. Once that information about you is out there, you have no control over where it goes. People, unfortunately, may judge you or come to have preconceived ideas about you based on that information. I'd rather have people know me for who I actually am rather than who they think I may be based on who I have or haven't slept with. I consider that information private anyway.
In the discussions where sexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, etc., have come up in these forums I have to say I've been a little disappointed in the ignorance that still persists. I would hope that some thoughtfulness, tolerance, and sensitivity would prevail. For those of you who understand: Thank you. | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/8/2008 10:24:09 AM | | What a clear, thoughtful, meaningful post. Thank you. | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/8/2008 10:24:15 AM | The Katy Perry " I kissed a Girl" song just adds to the whole "it's cool and trendy for girls to want to get it on with other chicks."
The imaginary song "I kissed a boy" would never make it to mainstream radio. | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/8/2008 10:42:56 AM | I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that one person's experience is not everybody's experience. I have a cousin that is Homosexual. His family is split because of it. (I know. Ignorance.) Half the family supports him and the other half dis-owned him... Including his twin brother who is straight. (I thought being gay was genetic?) Anyway. I talked to him for the first time in years last year (He lives in LA now.), and he explained something to me about HIS sexuality.
Before he was 14, he considered himself straight. He had never thought about men in a sexual manner at all. About this time he was serially molested by a friend of the family. At first, he was afraid to say anything to anyone, out of fear of being called a liar or ruining another family members marriage. He eventually got the courage to say something and his fears were realized. He WAS blamed for keeping it a secret for so long. (Years)
Well, to make a long story short, he was very confused about his sexuality from that point on and finally identified as gay, after experimenting with women and men for some time. He said that he was just not comfortable with women, because he no longer felt they could be attracted to him. He still has a lot of issues in his life; but, he has had a happy relationship, with another man, for the past 10 years. He also says that many of his gay friends have similar stories. Not all by any means though. I'm not suggesting that.
I'm just pointing out that there is no set answer to how someone comes to identify themself sexually. I'm convinced that life experiences and environment play as large a roll as biology. | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/8/2008 10:59:23 AM |
I'm just pointing out that there is no set answer to how someone comes to identify themself sexually. I'm convinced that life experiences and environment play as large a roll as biology.
I've heard this kind of story before and, while I will not dispute that person's experience, I will also point out that a number of young men are molested by older men and do not turn out gay. Whether the experience "turns" someone gay or not, or just introduces them to the idea sooner, or whether young men who seem like they might be gay are more often targeted, cannot be really answered. However, I've known a number of men in my life who were molested by relatives, priests, and in the boy scouts, who were completely heterosexual adults, so the experience does not turn *most* men gay. A counselor I know who works with men who were sexually abused as children confirms this.
Using that as a theory for someone becoming gay, it would not explain the number of lesbians I've known who were molested by men when they were young. Many of them point to it as an experience that turned them off to men. Did it? Then how would it explain the significant number of women who are heterosexual who were molested? In any individual's case this may be a factor, but the facts are that it does *not* appear to be a factor in the majority of cases.
The majority of us who are bisexual or gay do not point to some experience of childhood molestation as the cause of our orientation. We find that we are who we are in spite of society's reinforcement of something different. We do not feel a need to explain why we are the way we are any more than heterosexuals do. We merely would like to be able to love, or bed, those whom we wish without others insisting there is something wrong with us.
In another thread, a young woman asked about men who do not satisfy their lovers. I've known a number of frustrated "hetero" women who have seriously considered turning to other women precisely for this reason. This is rarely a problem between two women. However, for myself and most of the other bisexuals I've known, dissatisfaction was not what made us be who we are. We already knew who we are. | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:04:21 AM | | I'd also like to add that the children of gay & lesbian parents do not turn out gay or lesbian any more than other children, perhaps sometimes to their parents' dismay. Having gay parents does not make you gay. So much for being able to recruit people into the ranks. I don't think you can "convert" someone, much as some people would like to think. Look at yourself. If you consider yourself solidly hetero, doesn't the idea of "switching" seem weird and unnatural? Same for us. I could ignore & suppress my attraction for one sex or another, but I couldn't *make* myself be attracted to someone I wasn't. | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:07:10 AM | | ^^^ Everybody has a story and few of them are exactly the same. Thank you for adding you story, and opinion, to the point of my post... (Though I'm curious how male to female molestation would confuse a woman's sexual identification, as compared to male to male molestation.) | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:08:15 AM | I heard from a friend that theres two kinds of bisexualities.
Theres bi-curious and bisexual, but i think young girls do like to
experiment and they assume it's what the "boys" in their generation prefer,
when all they're doing is opening up the wrong doors.
I myself love kissing girls, dancing with them, but it's doesnt mean i am bisexuals,
although i like partying with bisexuals more :D | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/8/2008 8:43:53 PM | I suggest reading Savage love, Dan Savage wrote...
"As for "playing for the other team" can indeed be just a phase - but for women, not men. Heterosexual and homosexual women, if legit scientific research is to be believed, "tend to become sexually aroused by both male and female erotica, and, thus, have a bisexual arousal pattern," according to the results of 2003 study conducted at LUG-infested Northwestern University. Men, on the other hand, prefer erotica that plays exclusively to their professed sexual orientation. Which means, of course, that female sexuality is a fluid and male sexuality is a solid. Or something."
I don't know if it's "trendy" sex is just more openly experienced now | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/8/2008 9:51:08 PM |
Do you think many normally heterosexual women are open to being with another female? Many? No. Only bisexual, lesbian, or bi-curious females are open to being with females sexually. Otherwise, the vast majority of females are totally heterosexual. | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/9/2008 11:57:18 PM | S4M4N7H4
Savage love sounds intriguing to me, I would like to find out more info about it but I was not able to contact you because you have e-mail restrictions. I need the title and the author.
To me, this is interesting thread because ever since I remember I was turned on by woman's body but I have no desire to be in a relationship with a woman. Being with a man is much more satisfying, but not just for the physical part. When I am with him in a bedroom, apart from physical part, the emotion also play important part. But with a woman, it is different for me (by the way, I have not experimented with any). Anyways, not sure how to put it, but would like to learn more about myself. The difference with me is that I love to kiss with him and get lost and fall onto him, but I have no desire to do this with a woman.
But occasionally I get fulfilled when I fantasize about her, but the satisfaction is only on the surface. This may not make sense. La Jaconde | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/10/2008 6:54:02 AM | | The problem with female bisexuality is two-fold. One is that many men have a fetish for girl-girl action. The other is that some women use it as a marketing ploy geared towards attracting men's attention. As such, hardly anyone takes female bisexuality seriously anymore. It's been damaged and trivialized by men and the women who have allowed them to get away with it. | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/10/2008 2:56:11 PM | I like what you said mick2521 about how bisexuality of women is exploited and man's preoccupation with this kind of fantasy. I have found out this particularly true in my younger years, when I was experimenting with men. There were those who encouraged me into 3 some, for example, or couples suggesting this to me. Not because I was appearing in any certain way, but because I was very sensual and they saw that in me. I felt this was not right. It was about their fantasy and also about exploitation, I would have simply been used. It wasn't intimate and it was about addiction, these are the words that would come out in my vocabulary, when I think about those situations.
I also like what one of the poster said earlier in the thread, she acknowledged that she can be turned on when she sees some nice, soft erotica watching two females playing with each other, I can relate to that. But this is where the question remains for me, would I want to explore that aspect of myself and why. For me personally, I feel it is OK to acknowledge that I am turned on by female body, supposedly I wanted to experience it, I don't think I would fall in love with any of those women, this is the difference for me, as I wouldn't be able to form the emotional bond with her. So, in a sense it would be all about objectifying, and I may even feel yak after the experience, it wouldn't be about the person but about their body parts. This is what is stopping me from going that route, because I won't create those emotional bonds with a woman, the way I am able to do with a man. Oh, muah... I can kiss him, but can't do this with her.
This is why for me I prefer to leave it right there, there is this fine line, and I don't see myself crossing it.
I like also that some posters are voicing their protest against labeling the person, I feel kind of the same. So, just writing this post made me aware we are all very different. Viva la difference! | |
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| Female Bisexuality
Posted: 8/10/2008 3:14:40 PM | Anyone ever heard of alfred kinsey's spectrum theory? It makes the most sense out of every sexuality theory I've ever read about or heard about. Basically it argues that everyone falls somewhere in between homosexuality and heterosexuality - not very many people are 100% heterosexual and not very many people are 100% homosexual - the majority of people fall somewhere in between and thats probably why people have a hard time reconciling bisexuality. I think MOST people have a preference, but there are alot of people who are capable of being with both genders.
I'm a lesbian but I still recognize a good looking guy, might even find myself somewhat attracted - but I know if it came down to it, I wouldn't want to touch him or kiss him, etc. | |
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