| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 6/30/2006 10:36:44 AM | LMAO!! Chatting ~ a life-long committment. 
When did meeting online and/or chatting become a "relationship" ??? For that matter, when did dating one person become a relationship? It's only a relationship when both parties are in agreement it's a relationship. Until the "exclusive" conversation takes place, I'm free to do what I want and so is he.  | |
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Dru
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Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 27 | |
| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 6/30/2006 11:34:22 AM | People do this for the exact same reason the OP was venting. You talk to someone for awhile, then they vanish or tell you they are unavailable or are more interested in being friends. Nevermind the aspect of being rejected, people feel like they have just wasted a lot of time and effort and have probably missed out on something else that could have worked out better.
If you ever worked in sales you'll know it's more about statistics than product sometimes. If the product is good it will sell itself. But not to everyone, because they product won't fit everyone's needs. So what you do is "pitch" the product to as many people as possible. People are smart, they will figure out if they need it or not, or ask you questions to come to a conclusion as whether to buy it or not.
The more contact you have, the more likely you are to sell something. Are we not basically selling ourselves on her? I don't mean in a prostituion way, but you are saying hey this is me(the product) this is what I can do, this is what I'm about, do I fit your needs?
Your not going to fit everyones needs, so you pitch yourself to as many people as you can, in the case of dating, your going to screen who you pitch to, make sure they will fullfill your needs as well. But your going to generate some interest in yourself, and maybe, just maybe one of those people will buy into you. We do not have long enough life spans to go one girl at a time.
You just have to realise when the sales drive is over. That should be at some point after going on a few dates and talking it over with the person and asking if they want to become exclusive to each other. Then you stop selling yourself. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 6/30/2006 11:40:07 AM |
It’s a matter in integrity and values going down the drain and destroying an entire society.
chatting/dating more than one person is not destroying the world. please. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 6/30/2006 11:52:30 AM | | When exchanges messages and even going on dates with someone, I don't expect them not to be dating or emailing other women. It's when you move on to a more exclusive level that this comes into play. Seriously, we are all trying to find that person for us. If I feel really strongly about someone, I might hide my profile so I do not receive any more messages, but it still doesn't mean I'm committed to that person! | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 6/30/2006 1:54:23 PM | I think Dru has it right.
It's all about the sales pitch - then when you find out if things work out for both parties, then stop selling yourself.
I also liked what rainbowfish has stated!! she's always brilliant! :) | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 6/30/2006 4:53:05 PM | coolluvr4u1976 (Dave - OP),
Well, you're from West-West Michigan, so I think there's something ya need to know.... ;)
There are a lot more guys on places like this than girls. A lot more. Many women who are at least semi-attractive has a host of guys "on the line". They aren't going to tell you off the bat, and it isn't something to bluntly ask about within your first conversation. After you meet a woman, or correspond with her for a while, ask her if she's currently meeting up with other guys, as a casual question.
Many women will say yes, and if they like you, talk about how they're all not her type, losers, not like their picture, etc. If you're in direct competition with some other dudes, they'll usually say it (and usually downplay it). Just let it be, and keep it in mind, and move on if you don't feel like competing.
I understand what you're saying... if you meet up with a girl, or talk with her for a long while, and she seems to really like you, obviously you would assume she doesn't have any other options she's starting to bite on. That's not always the case, and don't assume based on how traditional or liberal they may seem -- ya never know, and it's nothing worth guessing at.
It makes meeting in person for the first time *very* casual -- but it's a shame if a girl leads you to believe beforehand that it's more than that. It's the cost of free trade! ;) | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 6/30/2006 5:00:48 PM | | Many people here are saying that there is nothing wrong with chatting/dating a few different people at the same time and while I agree with this and do it myself, doesn't it strike anyone as this is perhaps one of the biggest reasons nobody is meeting anybody online? I mean, you certainly aren't focusing on one person or thinking about them much if you're juggling several at a time, don't you think? In real life, if someone asked you out or caught your eye, you would be more focused on just that one person while you see how things pan out because you don't have all the distractions you have here. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 6/30/2006 6:11:59 PM |
A girl messages me about two weeks ago, and we message back n forth several times. Well i get a message today, about how she is now "dating" someone as of last sunday. Which is nice on her part, but WTF.
I mean if she was already kinda talking to someone or interested in someone, WHY in the HELL would she message me.
Are you serious??
Geez be thankful from the whining I hear on this site men NEVER get messaged by women, consider yourself lucky bud. You are in the minority!
Did it ever dawn on you that she maybe didn't know that she was already "involved" because she hadn't met that other person yet? It's a little hard to know if you are "interested" in someone until you have met them face to face. After all this is the internet, the person you think you are talking to online may not exist in reality. It's better and more realistic to keep expectations low until the meet.
She actually sounds quite nice, mature and considerate, she doesn't owe you anything after a few email chats. Had you actually met this girl and started dating exclusively then you'd have reason to be upset.
In fact maybe she just made it up because you gave her some clue as to your neediness in your conversations and wanted no part of it with you.
I honestly cannot believe the expectations some people have on here...
Is this how women work? They mass message guys untill they finally meet one and then they are off the market?
Sorry, but you're just making yourself sound bitter and immature now - Please GET OVER IT! Go start a why do nice guys finish last thread or something.... | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 6/30/2006 6:42:18 PM | without being mean...hmmm...yes it s!cks getting a message like that when youve hoped to have an online aquaintance evolve into more... just say, ok..."Next"... *sigh* hugs to all..  | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 6/30/2006 7:50:37 PM | dating....does not mean relationship
interest-does not mean exclusive
exclusive-does not mean dating
in a relationship or boyfriend-tends to mean exclusive....most of the time????
suddenly dating....could mean lost interest in you?
dating on the internet- you have got to have thicker skin, be positive, try not to put all of your eggs in one basket and get emotionally attached to someone, until you have had a long sit down discussing the bonderies of the "relationship".
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 6/30/2006 8:34:07 PM | There was nothing wrong with what she did!! Geeze! JUst because u weren't the one she became interested in doesn't mean u were being played! Chatting is getting to know someone, sometimes u click, sometimes u don't. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go on. Next time do the same, talk to several people until u find one u click with then pursue it further. Simple! | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 6/30/2006 9:00:45 PM | Any broad that would email you that--is telling you to leave her alone... she could have just stopped emailing you back...and you would have figured out that she wasnt interested.
Get over it and look for another filly. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 6/30/2006 9:04:08 PM | how do u post ur story on here?anybody???
swee10lo,
You post your story the same way you posted this question. BTW, what is your question?? If you want to start a new thread, go the Forums Home Page, select the appropriate category and click the "New Thread" button (upper left hand corner). | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 6/30/2006 9:27:00 PM | It goes both ways. Enough with women do this, men do that. sheeshhh.. Both men and women do the exact same thing. Was she leading you on in any way? At least she came out and told you that she was seeing someone. Certain people do certain things. PEOPLE. Not gender. Gosh darnit...time for a   | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 6/30/2006 9:37:27 PM | Studly,
I suppose some women do... it's really not gender specific. However, in my case, there is no way I started any games. Nor will I play along. I'm the type of person that will only see one person at a time. I believe in giving it a chance before moving on. I also lead a very busy life and don't have time to see multiple people. I like to direct my energy to my children, my job, and the ONE person I'm interested in. I will, however, chat with others, and have no problem with the other person doing the same.
However it looks like the OP's situation was different. Only messages. No mention of actually meeting her, dating her, talking on the phone every day and IMing every day, either.
I'm not experienced in the dating world. I've only had a limited amount of boyfriends (and one husband) and they've all been long term.
Bryantinfl,
I know what you mean about protecting your heart. That is a lesson I am learning. Sad that it has to come to that though, because you can't give all of yourself if you have barriers up. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 6/30/2006 9:43:56 PM | | thanx, i'll try again.just wanted to post something bout my last expierience on here...which sucked ass...brb...nobody seems to be for real anymore...too sad!!why hurt ppl's feelings and even get on this site if u r just playing around... | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/1/2006 12:29:16 AM | After thinking about it for a bit, i guess it shouldnt bother me. But after re-reading her messages to me, it seemed like she was interested in me. But she also stated she was just looking for new friends to hang out with, and nothing really serious.
As for all the responses, thanks.
And yes, i tend to when messaging with someone, or talking to someone to get to know them better, i do tend to focus just on one girl, and not 3 or 4. Which i guess is my down fall.
Oh well live n learn.
dave | |
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Dru
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Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 44 | |
| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/1/2006 1:58:53 PM |
i do tend to focus just on one girl, and not 3 or 4. Which i guess is my down fall.
Hey I don't think it's actually a down fall, it's just something that becomes a given on dating sites like this. Most people don't focus on just 1 person. If you don't have a problem adapting to it then no big deal, if it's something that really bugs you, then maybe internet dating isn't for you | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/1/2006 3:52:36 PM | Nothing wrong with venting.... this thread runs along side many others... you are bringing up internet dating versus old fashion relationships... and who is a player and who is not... who is trust worthy and who is not... it is all on both sides of the coin.. get ready with the delete and remove button, and start adding new horizons!! | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/1/2006 4:16:00 PM | | It happens to me too. Every time I see a desirable woman she says she has to give this new guy a chance to see where their relationship is going. OOCH. Is there any compensation? Could there be anything more ugly? You want to just scream!! | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/1/2006 6:42:46 PM | So by the sounds of it, you guys would rather the woman be dishonest and not tell you she is giving guy # 1 a fair chance and keep talking to you anyway so you get a chance. Screw the other guy? Is that the mentality here?
I thought honesty was a good thing?
As a man you want to be the only one she is focused on, but when she tells you that she chooses to direct that focus on someone other than you she's a b!tch?
Do you guys know how many emails some women get in a given day? If she just started chatting with you a few days ago is she just supposed to delete all those emails? Ignore everyone else? How does she know that you are worth it? There are alot of dirty dogs on this site, to expect a girl to trust that you are worth ignoring everyone else for after a couple of chats in unrealistic. Please think about what you are saying here.
I'm not advocating dating alot of people at one time, I think once you reach the dating stage it's one on one, (but that's just me). But we are talking about an email buddy here. If it's been a month and you've chatted every day and you really like each other then meet for gods sake - what are you waiting for? If you want to be exclusive with someone that step has to be taken first. Internet and email / chatting are not a relationship. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/2/2006 3:36:10 AM |
It happens to me too. Every time I see a desirable woman she says she has to give this new guy a chance to see where their relationship is going. OOCH. Is there any compensation? Could there be anything more ugly? You want to just scream!! - killerdogsmooch
~Chiklets~ right men, we like to enjoy every mouthful of the piece of cake we selected; Hummm... Men on the other hand like all their cake and icing!!!! | |
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