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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/2/2006 5:24:42 AM | | I think this was mentioned once, but the "I'm dating someone now" is often used to end contact with someone they have been emailing, but decided they didn't want to meet. Even when the person really isn't dating someone. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/2/2006 12:39:14 PM | I got a email and talked to a guy for about ten minutes. Then while we were sending im's
my internet went down, but only for yahoo home and yahoo im. The guy got ticked off
and wrote someone else I know a email, saying I was playing games.
Well for someone to get pist off that easy, and say I was playing games over my im going down, I would hate to see what he got pist off about in a relationship.
I talk to several different people on im, and email but am not seeing anyone. But who knows,
in a hour I might meet someone I like, or tommarrow who knows, BUT isn't that what we are all hoping for?
Bree... | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/2/2006 12:43:29 PM | OP, everyone dates differently, whether it's online or off. Some date a number of people until they find the one they want to be exclusive with; others date one person at a time until they decide if they want to continue to see that person. Others talk to a few people and they may meet one of them and find that they don't want to meet anyone else, which it what it sounds like happened in your case. Be glad she told you; many people don't bother to do so; at least she was considerate enough to let you know.
As far as being online and messaging someone, until you've actually met, dated, and both decided to not date other people, there's nothing wrong with continuing to talk with other people. But all of that type of stuff should be discussed with whomever you're talking with before it becomes a problem. Personally, I don't talk with a lot of guys online; it takes someone pretty interesting to get and keep my attention; and once I've talked with someone and we've progressed to talking on the phone, I don't chat with or make any plans to meet any other men. But that's me; other people do it differently and there's nothing wrong with it. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/2/2006 1:12:22 PM | As an experiment on a different site, I posted a fake profile of a 34 woman - just to see if what the women say about the responses they get is true. I used a couple of pictures of fairly good-looking women who looked about the right age and could be the same woman.
Guys, I have to tell you - that attractive women on these sites have to sift through literally a hundred or more emails and winks per day - some very crude, some that just say "Ur Hott", some that are long-winded diatribes from guys living with their mothers, some from men completely out of their requirements range, some that are clearly after sex, some that pretend to only want friendship with a total stranger (i.e. they're after sex), some that are marriage proposals from foreigners (I kid you not). This will happen on ANY given day. That women get around to reading the messages of, let alone identifying and responding to any decent men here is a miracle.
So for a woman to start communicating with us is really very long odds - maybe 30:1 on any given day, and we guys must remember, every day she is communicating with us, a hundred new guys are contacting her - so tomorrow, she may only contact 2 or 3 of them - but still, the next day, a hundred more come knocking. It's completely different than it is for guys. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/2/2006 1:25:03 PM | | OP, the way I have found to deal with this problem is keep my heart out of it until it is warranted to be into it. Keep my feelings inside instead of on my shirt sleeve. You just cannot assume anything. You can't expect or assume more than you have in front of you. I had to learn this the hard way but I did finally learn. Expect the least and you will wind up surprised when something good does start to happen. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/2/2006 2:48:18 PM | | Ha! And then if the girl tells a man that she is only concentrating on him, he freaks out because he thinks she's clingy! lol. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/2/2006 4:55:43 PM | It would be a dream come true... if a man could tell all the woman he keeps e-mailing or dating on the side (amicably of course right??) that he has met someone.(Most forget to mention those last 5 words during that innocent conversation!!!!! I think it is loyal and honest of a woman to have no problem saying she has met someone and would like to get to know him better. I do it all the time. Men seem to have a problem doing it though!!!! | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/2/2006 6:17:57 PM |
And then if the girl tells a man that she is only concentrating on him, he freaks out because he thinks she's clingy!
Ohhhhhhhhh is that what it is! A guy recently told me that I "don't speak man", well, ain't that the truth! Thanks for letting me in on this tidbit... | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/2/2006 8:32:11 PM |
Guys, I have to tell you - that attractive women on these sites have to sift through literally a hundred or more emails and winks per day - some very crude, some that just say "Ur Hott", some that are long-winded diatribes from guys living with their mothers, some from men completely out of their requirements range, some that are clearly after sex, some that pretend to only want friendship with a total stranger (i.e. they're after sex), some that are marriage proposals from foreigners (I kid you not). This will happen on ANY given day. That women get around to reading the messages of, let alone identifying and responding to any decent men here is a miracle.
Not necessarily true...I'd say that I'm fairly attractive, and I don't get that many contacts or winks, and the ones that I do are, for the most part, either form friends in the forums or fairly respectful. But I will agree that the 'Hi, how r u?' contacts leave much to be desired, not to mention they give one nothing to respond to; and the contacts from guys young enough to be my sons are sometimes hilarious and sometimes pathetic...seems some of them think all older women are looking for a boy toy just for sex, and that we can't simply find that on our own with someone closer to our age if that's all we want. What they don't understand is that that's *not* what most of us are looking for; and if we just wanted sex we generally have someone we already know well who'd be more than happy to fulfill that function, lol, so we're not about to find some stranger, especially a way too young one, to have it with.
OP, the way I have found to deal with this problem is keep my heart out of it until it is warranted to be into it. Keep my feelings inside instead of on my shirt sleeve. You just cannot assume anything. You can't expect or assume more than you have in front of you. I had to learn this the hard way but I did finally learn. Expect the least and you will wind up surprised when something good does start to happen.
While it's fun and exciting to meet someone new, one's heart shouldn't get involved until well after meeting them. Having high expectations from an email or even a talk on the phone will generally only lead to having those expectations unfulfilled. But if someone says they want to talk and they want to meet one, the only assumption one *can* make is that they do want to do that...unfortunately, that doesn't always turn out to be the case. I have to agree, though; if one doesn't expect anythign, then they won't be disappointed and they may just end up being pleasantly surprised.
Ha! And then if the girl tells a man that she is only concentrating on him, he freaks out because he thinks she's clingy! lol.
Yep...people say they want honesty and when you give it to them, they can't run any faster in the opposite direction, lol. If I'm interested enough to chat with someone and then talk on the phone with them (it rarely gets that far) and if it then gets to the point where we're talking about meeting, I'm not talking with any others. That doesn't mean I expect anything from the person I'm talking with, nor that I expect him to do the same. It's just how I am; I prefer to talk with and meet one person at a time; if he was interesting enough for me to continue emailing with and then talk to on the phone, and once we've talked on the phone if there's an interest in meeting, I don't have any interest in taking with or meeting anyone else at that point. After 25+ years of dating, I know what type of man I find interesting and what type I don't. If we meet and find that we're not interested in meeting again, fine...then it's time to go fishing again ;) | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/3/2006 1:05:16 PM |
After thinking about it for a bit, i guess it shouldnt bother me. But after re-reading her messages to me, it seemed like she was interested in me. But she also stated she was just looking for new friends to hang out with, and nothing really serious. As for all the responses, thanks. And yes, i tend to when messaging with someone, or talking to someone to get to know them better, i do tend to focus just on one girl, and not 3 or 4. Which i guess is my down fall. dave
ATTA BOY for buckin' up, Dave!  Now GET OUT THERE AND MEET SOME NEW PEOPLE!  | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/3/2006 2:59:35 PM | Gentlemen- this goes to all of you who are lamenting, not just the op - Amid all this talk of playing games and cheating and internet dating vs old school you're all missing the point - SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!!
I'm so tired of hearing all the moral bs about dating one person at a time. We're talking about dating, not arranged marraige. If you can't handle it - then maybe the internet isnt for you. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/3/2006 3:08:55 PM | | ^^^That's a little harsh but respectable. You really haven't experienced "old school" dating. Plus you are 24. Big difference from people who are 34, 44, or 54. However like I posted a few posts ago, you cannot expect anything more than that which is in front of you. I used to be the "I will only talk to one woman at a time" type of guy. No more. I will talk to a hundred if I want because that is the NEW way it is done. The rules have changed so the strategy in the game is different. Just one thing. You shouldn't lead people on if "YOU ARE JUST NOT THAT INTO THEM". Fair enough????? | |
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gvo
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Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 65 | |
| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/3/2006 3:23:02 PM | ok. . I am too lazy to read everyonelse opinion so I may repeat someonelses thoughts, BUT that only shows this may be good advice 
FIRST: I learned the hard way not to create a relationship purely online. Meet them if you like them as soon as you both feel comfortable, that way you know wether there is chemistry in person as well. Considering internet is not substancial unless you meet in person, then why wouldn't one go for the REAL thing over a guy you see on a comp screen? I know that we do form feelings this way, without meeting but it is not reality. . .like they say, "seeing is believing"!
SECOND: If the reason you have not met in person is because it is a "long distance" relationship. . forget about it. UNLESS both parties are prepared to change their life for each other (which can sometimes be wishful thinking) then concentrate else where!
that is all. . .MSN is distracting me. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/3/2006 7:45:38 PM | I am not enyoying where this thread is headed.... its gone from women ( huh..excuse me - that should have been worded as "people") and their honesty in saying "they have met someone and would like to get to know them better", to we all need to keep our options open. If you like to keep your options open, so be it.. it is an open market.. but then you are the one playing the games.. not able to have a man in your life; ?????? Its easier to play people like a ping pong.
Maybe you are missing a few goals in your life where relationships are concerned.. maybe instead of concentrating on having a man in your life you should visit a psychiatrist, what happened in your past to make you like that??? Think about it.. Don't ruin something good for others that you have a beef about! | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/3/2006 7:49:49 PM | Gvo,
I totally agree about the distance thing I tried it twice and there`s a lot to consider,
mostly life changing, because that`s what is involved.
Guys wake up!, some say women are like monkeys, they don`t let go of one branch before having another to hold onto. Guess what ,you can do it too. Until there is commitment, there
isn`t.
Go out with all the women you can, It`s not the saying, putting all your eggs in one basket, it`s variety is the spice of life. If you go out with a gal and nothing comes of it, move on.
You have to meet lots of women to find the one, women know this better than most men.
Guess what, you can go out with more than one at a time too.
Guess what, if she`s pretty, doesn`t mean she`s pretty inside, and doesn`t mean she isn`t either. The moral if there is one is, this one didn`t work out, maybe the next one will.
Keep dating ,and ask `em to pay half before the date , that way you both realize the investment.
Good luck and full steam ahead. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/3/2006 11:47:08 PM | Oh... I'm Sooo... confused... and ask " why- why- why did I read through this post " !!!
"Ohhh right ! "... because I am not bright enough to keep away ! ... kinda like a moth to that big bright " zapper thingy " !
It feels to have about the same effect at least !!!
I wonder... should we need to forward contracts to sign before chatting online to anyone around here ?
I for one did not realize commitment was implied, talking to people we hardly know online ? ... perhaps a disclaimer would suffice ? ...
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Meh !... scrap figuring this one out ! !... I'm just gonna go back to being confused !... I'm happier that way anyhow !!! | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/4/2006 1:16:30 AM | The worst is when you take yourself off the market because you have decided that this one is FABULOUS and you don''t want to see anyone else, but he doesn''''''''t do the same. So you alter your profile to show unavailable but continue to see his profile advertising his availability.
Don''t be too quick to jump to conclusions. I have no idea how many sites that I am on and am too scatter brained and lazy to change things.... | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/4/2006 1:19:53 AM | I wonder how much thicker the dating "rule book" will get before we need to break it into two volumes, then three, then four and so on. Sometimes I think us humans could complicate breathing. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/4/2006 3:49:35 PM | I messaged this woman, we exchanged a couple of emails, then she told me that she`d started dating someone. I thought that was an honest way for her to end our chats. A week later, I accidentally run into her at Starbucks, she recognized me from my photo. She was all over me, we started seeing each other and 3 weeks later she wanted to move in with me.
The lesson I learned from that: It is impossible to judge someone online based on a profile alone. I don`t do mass mailings, I send a few one-liner messages a week, almost randomly, I don`t IM but I respond to all messages and I don`t judge anyone until I`ve met them in person. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/4/2006 4:52:27 PM | | She probably was keeping you on "stand-by" in case the other one didn't work out. In other words, she was jerking you around and wasting your time. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/4/2006 6:42:53 PM | | When I get a date on here I don't take myself off here until I'm sure of the guy.And what's wrong with that? I don't expect the guy to do that either.Why should I give up my chances until I'm sure.That is when the guy that gets jealous of that has the last date.I can't stand jealous guys.They are the ones that end up abusing you one way or the other. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/4/2006 6:49:07 PM | ^^^That is something I have learned after getting snubbed a few times. If someone wants me, is interested in me, and wants to work on things like I do, she better show it because I don''''''''''''''''t wait around anymore playing silly lead on games. I got smoked many times from shutting down my search because I cared about someone and then they go and have a labotomy.
The next day I''''m saying "Who in the f*ck are you? Do I know you? Because you are NOT the person I was talking to yesterday" and I stand there like an *ss, a jack*ss that is trying to figure someone out that can''t be figured out. No mas. | |
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