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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/4/2006 6:59:57 PM | | Join the real world. I will answer any e-mail I get and honestly. I expect honesty in return. Not going to commit to anyone just by sending e-mail back and forth but it could turn into at leat a friendship, don't shut anyone out unless they want to be. So she met someone and is dating them. That may or may not turn out to be something. Keep the lines of communication open and don't just write someone off because they are dating someone. And for those dating someone why shut out someone who could turn out to be a good friend at a later time. Yes shit happens but then so does love. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/4/2006 7:25:06 PM |
Join the real world. I will answer any e-mail I get and honestly. I expect honesty in return. Not going to commit to anyone just by sending e-mail back and forth but it could turn into at leat a friendship, don't shut anyone out unless they want to be. So she met someone and is dating them. That may or may not turn out to be something. Keep the lines of communication open and don't just write someone off because they are dating someone. And for those dating someone why shut out someone who could turn out to be a good friend at a later time. Yes shit happens but then so does love. VHF
Great post VHF!!! | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/4/2006 7:55:56 PM | Why is it "keeping your options open" if you are a woman, but a sin and a "player," or a low-life liar if you are a man?
Hint ladies: this is why guys are the way they are. I been talkng to a girl on here and was supposed to drive to meet her in a few days (3 hours!). She has told me how much she likes me and all that good stuff, has called me and I called her. I thought we really were going to have something. But I called her tonight and a guy answers her phone and tells me, "she is with me tonight." Go figure! | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/4/2006 8:50:58 PM | rpburnsusa,
You got that right!!! The ladies "keep their options open" so that we have no choice but to play the field. You can't give us a straight-face answer. It's all misleading information creating an illusion that doesn't exist. That's one of the many female double-standards that only count or need apply when the game isn't in her favor. The mislead you into thinking they like you, but you're the back-up option. And they say guys want their cake and eat it too?!?!?! | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/4/2006 8:53:09 PM | .If people spent more time finding common ground, than finding uncommon ground, there would be more matches...more smiles...more chemistry...more romance...and much less grief than I am reading. The difference between men and women is that men ( and I am a real one) spend too much time trying to deflect the blame elsewhere than actually sitting down and discussing the situation. If someone was to meet you, then decided not to...there was a reason....and usually it can be found quite easily if you look within.
Sure there are players...there always will be...but why can't you think of dating and romance as a dance...a game between two attracted people....a seduction...if you want that commitment thing right off the bat...go back to your ex...you know where that leads!
Not trying to be anything but opinionated...lol | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/4/2006 8:59:02 PM | | I don't think women are the only ones who do that. Lots of guys say they want to be free to date other people while they are getting to know someone. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/5/2006 9:55:31 AM | | I think that until you commit to someone, your business remains your business. If I was dating a few people, they are strictly on a "need to know" basis. I don't think that chatting a few times and sending messages back and forth constitutes anything more than friendship/aquaintances. If I decide to date one person, I gracefully let the others know that I have met someone and want to see where that will go. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/5/2006 10:01:22 AM | I went on a date with a lady from here. We were doing the small talk thing. She lets loose with "yeah, I've been seeing a guy for about 3 months". I asked what she was doing on a date with me. He said she wanted to see what else was out there. lol
Takes all types. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/5/2006 10:01:38 AM | This is very interesting for sure.
I think that until you commit to someone, your business remains your business. If I was dating a few people, they are strictly on a "need to know" basis. I don't think that chatting a few times and sending messages back and forth constitutes anything more than friendship/aquaintances. If I decide to date one person, I gracefully let the others know that I have met someone and want to see where that will go. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/5/2006 11:14:48 AM | Is this thread STILL going?
*I* am a one man kind of woman.
*If* I feel a stong connection with someone in the chatting stage I will want to meet. If schedules conflict and this takes too long and someone else establishes a connection with me in the meantime, well everything happens for a reason right, we're not getting any younger here are we?
*BUT* Once I meet the person and have established that I want to get to know him better - there is no one else...period!
There is no commitment in the chatting stage. I am not a player or a cheater or trying to hurt anyone! I am just trying to find someone, just like you. So the lesson is to not wait too long as life will pass you by...
Edit:Not all women are players, just like not all men are. There are bad examples of each on this site, obviously. Maybe we should try to focus our energies on how to better avoid & identify these people instead of lumping everyone into groups and instigating a battle of the sexes. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/5/2006 4:19:42 PM |
There is no commitment in the chatting stage. I am not a player or a cheater or trying to hurt anyone! I am just trying to find someone, just like you. So the lesson is to not wait too long as life will pass you by... ~Chiklet~
Maybe we should try to focus our energies on how to better avoid & identify these people instead of lumping everyone into groups and instigating a battle of the sexes ~Chiklet~
Chiklet has the right frame of mind, posts aren't even on the original author's question now, instead the female gender are just being butchered!!! Not fair at all .... by the way men.. if you can't appreciate a woman who is faithful and honest ... its your loss!!!
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/5/2006 4:34:37 PM | ^^^Who said we can't appreciate a women who is faithful and honest? Hello? Who is bashing them? I'm bashing the ones who say one thing and do another. It happens a LOT. I have heard every story under the sun. "You hit it right on the nail for what I am looking for and blah blah blah f*cking blah!" Later that day another completely different person appears. Then there's the ones who hate their ex's with a passion but he so elegantly controls them from the outside like a puppet on a string. They haven't grown enough BALLS to make a decision on their own without him. No woman on this site should be getting mad at this thread if she doesn't do the "lead on" thing with no intentions of really taking the relationship anywhere. If it doesn't apply to YOU, don't worry about it!!!
Wanna know something? I am tired of hearing you women cry about how there are no good men and when it's right in front of you, then it's TOO GOOD and then that is the problem. Truth is, it really is NEVER GOOD ENOUGH! The one's I am talking about (and you know who you are) are ALWAYS LOOKING! It's like upgrading a cell phone or a car. Like I once said in a post "Who decided to put PEOPLE on the instant gratification list?" Disposable everything society. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/5/2006 4:55:40 PM | ^^^^^OH DEAR!! Settle down little buddy. LMAO!!  A little fiery today are we?? Ha, you kill me.
~OT~ I look at these threads and wonder how they get sooooo off topic and so nasty. It was a good topic that has now turned into hate and discontent.
The reality is: sometimes we ARE looking. Sometimes we are not looking and someone finds us anyway. Sometimes we are NOT looking. It's life. Likewise, I'm single until I'm NOT single anymore. That means when I meet someone, date for a while, have the "exclusive" talk and both decide we are both NOT single anymore. I'm not dead during that process. If I want to date someone else, I will. Likewise, I expect the same actions from those I may choose to date. So I meet someone here today, but I'm dating someone else tomorrow ~ that's called being single. Why all of the nastiness??? I don't believe men are players if they date a few women at once, as long as they aren't lying about it, why would I care??? Nor do I believe it's my right to ask who/when/if/why they are dating others. Not my business. And my business is my business, not theirs (I'm not talking sex ~ only dating.) No wonder everyone is still single ~ we all spend our time complaining about each other. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/5/2006 8:20:35 PM | "So I meet someone here today, but I'm dating someone else tomorrow ~ that's called being single. Why all of the nastiness??? I don't believe men are players if they date a few women at once..."
It is good you feel this way, Verygreeneyez. However, you evidently are part of a hopeless minority of women. The vast majority obviously feel they have a moral right to date and lead on as many men as possible simultaneously, and this is very well and fine. I see nothing wrong if done honestly. But the fact remains many women who practice this simply will not tolerate the same behavior in men. This double standard, of course, does not go unnoticed by men, and occasionally some of us are going to point it out.
I want to also point out another fact here that is the source of much disagreement. There occurs in the human psych a phenomenon known as a solipsism. Many, perhaps most, people are effected by this. You see it displayed constantly on these type posts and elsewhere in debates. When a person engages in a solipsism he or she thinks EVERYONE thinks, acts, believes, has the same feelings, views the world and all people the same, thinks their life experiences and observations are at least similar to all other persons, etc. In other words, he or she feels "the world is just like me." For example, when I point out in this thread the double standard mentioned above, or ask the question posed in a previous post above, and a man or woman aggressively responds by stating, more or less, "Hey! I don't do this. Why are you lumping or generalizing all men/women into this mold?" And they will proceed to explain how THEY and/or their close circle of friends may behave or react in the situation under consideration, and then assert by implication that therefore all people, except possibly a tiny fraction of the population, must behave and will react the same and thus we who complain or criticize are mistaken or else simply motivated by malice.
Take the Duke Rape Case, for example. Because some of the female commentators who represent one or another organization for womens or victims rights would never falsely accuse someone of rape, it is inconceivable for them to imagine that there is a significant pecentage of young women today who think nothing of making such an accusation, often simply out of spite. Likewise, because some women and men posting here only talk to or date one peson at a time, or would be honest and admit if they do keep "back-ups," they find it inconceivable that there could possibly be a high percentage of people who do, and merely lead others on instead of telling the other person how the situation really is and let him/or her end up getting hurt or asking,"WTF?!" when they discover what has happened. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/5/2006 8:42:17 PM | | rpburnsusa: There are times when it pays to spend time in forums. I actually learned something today. This particular subject is of interest to me, mainly because I probably fall into the category you speak of here, only in a "reverse" type mode. Maybe more of a man's perspective I suppose. I usually state it fairly simply: Don't judge others by yourself. Meaning, what I do most likely isn't like "most" others. I have to remind myself that not all people are open minded, open to the unusual, open to other ideaological theorium or otherwise open to anything other than what is their "norm." Posts such as yours bring me back to the harsh reality we live in. We all are different and yet, the masses seem to dictate social mores. Like it or not, I suppose no matter what I feel about this particular subject, I'm horribly outnumbered by those who just flatly do not wish to be party of a less-than-exclusive situation. It's really too bad, because my theory is, dating a few people will let me know who truly fits best with me and who I fit best with. Thank you for the post, I now have a technical term for what I've always known!! | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/6/2006 12:37:06 PM |  Can any of you actually respond to the author's questions/statements!!!! No more bashing of the genders!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Have a little fun instead. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/6/2006 2:31:33 PM | What ruins it for me is the women who "act" like we are hitting it off and "how did we get so lucky to meet?" and so on and so on when they KNOW how much I like them. Meanwhile they are doing this to the other three guys they are dating and NEVER would dare to mention anything except how "you are different from all the other guys. I love your graciousness", etc., etc., etc. You feel so good that "hey, I can't believe this is happening". Then comes the bomb or little bombs leading to the big one.
That's what really makes it hurt. | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/6/2006 3:06:35 PM | You feel so good that "hey, I can't believe this is happening". Then comes the bomb or little bombs leading to the big one. That's what really makes it hurt. - LotsLove68
You are so right... seems to happen everytime!!  Doing everything I can to prevent such senarios... I would imagine alot of others hope for the same!! | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/12/2006 12:34:49 PM | Well I sure feel like a fool now... I was just played big time by someone I had been dating for 2 months. What a fool I have been telling men who were e-mailing me "I had met someone and wanted to get to know him better". Now I have those I pushed away mad at me, my feelings are hurt from my discovery of the player, and no doubt I will be getting an angry e-mail from the player for ending things.... there is just no winning | |
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| Women who suddenly are dating someone
Posted: 7/13/2006 10:27:15 PM | | I prefer the "oh, yea my ex called and we are trying to work things out" line best personally. Either I am the cure all for relationships gone bad, or people are just candyasses about saying, you know, Im just not interested. | |
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