| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:28:05 AM | | If I am in a relationship I do not get jealous. I believe in free will, and see it as pointless to try to convince someone to stay with me if they don't want to. If she wants someone else; goodbye! Now the exception for me is if I am not in the relationship I can feel jealous, but that is probably because I feel insecure as the relationship has not yet been established. That being said I do not act on these feelings, as again, a girl as free will to choose whom she wants to be with. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:46:51 AM | nothing.
I was once jealous and I didn't like it, I was fool and was counterproductive in the relationship also....so since than by definition I am 0% jealous.
I want complete trust towards my partner and expect the same in return. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:22:31 AM | Insecurity is pathetic, but, then again, Im used to havin a new chik at the snap of the fingers, so.... | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:22:57 AM | This may sound lame... but.
I am not a jealous person what so ever. On the contrary, if people look at my girlfriend or want to buy her a drink etc, I take it as a compliment. I trust that she will not overstep bounds, and I know I am going home with her at the end of the night, so I don't worry.
HOWEVER.....
If you ever want to see another guy get jealous, watch when another man ( friend or stranger) can make his date or girlfriend laugh really hard.
I have seen the most secure people out there become insecure when this happens.
The concept is simple.
If you can make a lady laugh, you have opened the opportunity to become a topic of her conversations and thoughts. Now bear with me.....
Hypothetical situation...
Guy (we will call him Joe) takes girl( we will call her Jane) out on a date.
Some situations arise where conversation between Joe, Jane and random guy ( we will call him Bob) commences. Bob is hilarious, making both Joe and Jane laugh hysterically.
Jane then has thoughts about how funny Bob was, and how much of a fun person Bob is to be around and whatnot. Jane talks to friends about the date, and Bob the funny stranger story comes into play. Bob then becomes a comparison variable to Joe.
Joe then tries to measure up to Bob, and realizes that this guy has been able to captivate her attention and became a major factor of their date.
Joe may or may not want to go back to the location in which Bob was at, due to fear that Bob would be there again and her attention would be more towards him.
Joe may want to go back to try to "one up" Bob as guys are very competitive, especially when it comes to sports and women. This "one up" Joe attempts is due to jealousy.
Now obviously not all guys would react negatively to having someone else making their date laugh harder then they could, and I honestly believe the more fun the better, whether it is me with the punchlines or not, however based on what I have seen in the past, most guys would tend to pass off harmless flirts as nothing more, but when it affects someone on a characteristic like humor or whatnot, people do get a bit more defensive.
JMO | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:36:48 AM | I don't get jealous
and I have no time for men who are jealous.
we either trust each other or we don't belong together...that's it, that's all. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:45:49 AM | | I beg to differ, being jelous doesn't always mean the person is insecure, it could mean there is a lack of trust. I find the only time i'm jelous is if I don't trust the guy, and well if there is no trust there is nothing to base a relationship on so.... Gong the bell, and bring on the next trial lol | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/23/2008 1:43:43 PM | | You got to be the most down to earth guy out here..if everybody listen to him the world would be normal..beeing jealous is nuts... do you know how many fish there is in this sea..get over it guys she is probably ****ing your friend right now!!! | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:50:49 PM |
also......if men are really jealous that usually means they are doing things behind your back
Or maybe it just means, you're hot enough that he knows (or thinks) that you know you can have your pick of any man, and he might not be good enough, or not as good as who you're talking to/hanging out with.
Jealousy can be seen as self criticism. But then again, on the flip side, he could be controlling. It's case - by - case, there's no blanket policy on jealousy. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:03:50 PM | | i truly dont have a jealous bone in my body..women have even said to me..why don't you get upset at such & such?/Women are like bus stops..another one comes along shortly..if she thinks the grass is greener somewhere else...i tell her to go 4 it!! | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:06:26 PM | | I dated a guy a few months back who admittedly had a jealous streak. We were on our 3rd date.. and went to a movie as we were walking up to the back of the theater he got sorta bent out of shape because he noticed a man looking at me funny and making faces..rolling his eyes. He became a little agitated and mentioned it to me. I looked down and it was my housemate's grandson (she is considerably older than I).. he is a big kidder and we kid each other. He was there with his wife and noticed I came in with a man and he was trying to catch my eye.. and tease me.. except I never noticed him.. but man my date did.. and he was not too happy about it. But he cooled down after I explained to him who it was. I have laughed over that since then becuase it made it funnier because of the type of person this grandson is. Sure made me feel good when my date actually thought this guy was trying to make the move on me hahahaha... If my date only knew what I thought of him.. he'd know he'd never have cause to be jealous.. I thought he was "da man"!!!! I still do but we are no longer dating. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:16:43 PM | I am happy if things are on an equal footing.
i.e. she goes out clubbing with her mates and so do I.
i.e. she has male friends and I am allowed female friends.
If things arent balanced then I dont think it is about jealousy its about an unfair relationship. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:23:05 PM | Jealousy is a protective measure to me. I consider myself to be a good and honorable man. I am a very protective man. I am a jealous man. Why? Because I know that people can get weak and that there are many other men out there that prey on women.
This has nothing to do with trust in a woman. It has nothing to do with insecurity. It is because I value integrity and monogamy. That to me is worth protecting. If I were with a woman and there were men hovering about her, knowing how guys are, then jealousy kicks in and I would remove both of us from the situation in order to protect the relationship. I know that, being who I am, that infidelity would end the relationship.
I believe in a healthy and long lasting relationship, not found yet, but still my belief. I believe that the bible is a source of profound logic and reason, and I relate the stories to my own life, so here is a summary of the first commandment:
I am the LORD your God; you shall have no other gods before me; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God
In thinking that there is a link between humans and the mention of God in the bible, I think that jealousy is a good thing. It works both ways, both men and women are jealous beings. I would hope that the woman that I do marry will be jealous just the same, and have the strength to abide by it. It is all a part of looking out for one another and putting the relationship above all other things. United we stand, divided we fall.
I think that anyone who denies getting jealous is either in denial or is smart enough, and has a partner that is smart enough, to not get into situations where jealousy becomes a factor. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:24:26 PM | Every human has the emotion of jealousy dwelling within. It can manifest in small ways that are barely perceptable, to awful ways, that are destructive and extremely hurtful. We all share many emotions. Only a rock, or an 'object' is totally without emotion.
when I read a quote like this..
i truly dont have a jealous bone in my body..women have even said to me..why don't you get upset at such & such?/Women are like bus stops..another one comes along shortly
it just supports my reasoning. A human can suppress one emotion..or even delude themselves into thinking they don't 'have' that emotion......only to have it replaced tenfold by something equally destructive, in this person's case....a large Ego,(not in the sense of a healthy view of oneself I might add) and a rather derisive view about women....'women are like bus stops' How cruel.
My Mum used to tell me all the time...'kimbo, if you do not feel even the slightest twinge of jealousy around that girl, then , you are just not into her. OK....so it's out...Kimbo's Mum invented that phrase many decades ago.
As my wise mentor once told me...We all share basically the same emotions...and they are all valid. The learning part of it all is to shine light on the good emotions, and work hard at keeping negative emotions in check, as just a small voice.
Peace
````````` "kimbo````````````````````````` | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:26:32 PM | low-status males get jealous.
real men have so many women chasing them they don't really care. that's what makes them so sexy. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:29:52 PM | Pretty easy going unless shes touching another guy alot (read: more then me lol).  | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:35:53 PM | | For those that say they don't get jealous that's like saying I don't breath. Everyone gets jealous over something during a relationship, you cant avoid it its genetically implant in your traits as a human, there is not a Doctor out there that will argue this point. Think about it have you forgot your childhood so soon, and if it has popped up once, I can guarantee you it has popped up again. Its is a natural as breathing. Well I cant finish my reply I must run,,,Have a nice night. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/23/2008 5:17:26 PM | | Hmmm, I really don't get into "jealousy" its juvenile, and shows big time insecurity now "disrespect" is higher up on my list. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:24:03 PM | | I think a little jealosy is good, it reminds you that you value this person. However, if you make an ass of yourself , it's probably insecurity in disguise.... | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:43:48 PM | Here's my question in relation to this topic... how much is a guy supposed to take before he can justify feeling "jealous"?
I'll give you an example.
I had a relationship where the female put in a lot of effort into looking good for her job ( as a server). I'm talking 1-2 hours here. When it came time for us to hit the town, it seldom took her more than 15 minutes. I told her that I was a little hurt to see that her job warranted more effort than me. Nothing changed. She started doing bikini/lingerie contests and again, would put in tonnes of effort. Again, I seldom recieved the same attention and when I approached the subject she said "well I care what people think if me". After the shows she would get drunk with the other contestants and bar patrons while I stayed at home looking after her dog.
Each time I expressed how I felt hurt and slightly betrayed that a room full of drunk 18 year olds got to see her in outfits that I could only dream of. Now if I've told her that I'm uncomfortable with what she was doing, offered compromises (that were never taken up or even considered), and tried to support her to the best of my abilities (I drove her to the shows, and even went in the beginning to cheer for her).... is not allowable to be jealous?
Obviously none of this matters anymore... just curious to hear what people think. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:16:04 PM | Spongebob_75
Did you love her?
Did she love you?
Were you both faithful?
I am sure that some would say that you were a trophy boyfriend.
Realistically, she was probably the same person as when you met her. Her job was important to her, one that she enjoyed, so she put a lot of effort into it. Her looks are a big part of her job and would affect her income. Socializing in an industry like that is also brownie points. As long as she was faithful then the only issue was your trust in her.
If you didn’t have time with her where she was wearing less than a bikini or lingerie, then you were not very far into the relationship. Her job was her choice.
Her going out with you. Don’t you think that it would feel, to her, like she was getting ready for work? I would think that you would want her to be relaxed and comfortable with you; it would be her weekend. I would much prefer a woman that didn’t wear makeup, or little, when with me. I also wouldn’t want her to feel like she needed to ‘work’ in order to enjoy time together.
You were obviously not compatible together. I think that most any man with a heart would be jealous in that situation, but you also have to check your jealousy. Is it justified? Only communication with her would answer that one. Did you trust her?
Ha haha, have you ever heard the song ‘Next Contestant’ by Nickelback?
It all comes down to communication, trust, and what is acceptable. It was not acceptable to you, and now you are not together, which is ok, find a woman that is more ‘You’. You had every right to be jealous, but the way that you handle that is what counts. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:22:15 PM |
Jealousy does not equate to insecurity. Jealousy is a valid emotion like all others. It's how we each choose to act on our emotions that makes us individuals.
I agree on this point. I have been with my significant other when he's literally spun around to stare at a woman when we were grocery shopping. I watched the exchange from about 7 ft away. She had no clue that he was with me, but she slowed right down, puffed up her chest (everyone here in town knows they are implants) and gave him a slow, sexy sidelong glance (she's married & her husband would knock her silly if he witnessed that! Not that I agree with that either!!) So when my partner turned back to me, he was blushing. She was far down the aisle before I said anything. But I did make sure to tell him to please allow me some dignity if he wants to look at other women. And I KNOW he does look. He's a man!! But wow, please be a little more subtle about the matter, don't be so OVERT about it & don't ever be that overt when right next to me. I am a woman & I KNOW she'd have walked away thinking, "Wow, he wishes he were WITH me!" And I asked him to please not give these women (more specifically, the skanky ones) the satisfaction of thinking that & leave my dignity intact. So that said, he's more careful about it. He IS with me, he doesn't have TIME to mess around. We are always together when he's off, either we are alone, with his little son, or with friends. So I don't think he would ever screw around on me. I don't really see myself as a jealous person, but there are boundaries that need to be respected & I do get upset when they are not respected. I respect his & I expect the same in return. Sure, I do look, if a man (or woman) is in my peripheral vision - more out of reflex than anything, but checking out a man & his junk? I could care less really, to BE checking out other men. I love my guy; he's sweet, he's hot, sexy & everything I want in a man - there is no need to be looking to upgrade.
And btw, we are BOTH still on POF, both of our profiles are hidden, but we use the site as a way to e-mail each other while he's at work; there's no other way for him to receive e-mail, as his Hotmail account is blocked at work.
Interesting responses here, though!!
 Dee | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:37:07 PM |
Jealousy is a protective measure to me. I consider myself to be a good and honorable man. I am a very protective man. I am a jealous man. Why? Because I know that people can get weak and that there are many other men out there that prey on women.
This has nothing to do with trust in a woman. It has nothing to do with insecurity. It is because I value integrity and monogamy. That to me is worth protecting. If I were with a woman and there were men hovering about her, knowing how guys are, then jealousy kicks in and I would remove both of us from the situation in order to protect the relationship. I know that, being who I am, that infidelity would end the relationship.
I believe in a healthy and long lasting relationship, not found yet, but still my belief. I believe that the bible is a source of profound logic and reason, and I relate the stories to my own life, so here is a summary of the first commandment:
I am the LORD your God; you shall have no other gods before me; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God
In thinking that there is a link between humans and the mention of God in the bible, I think that jealousy is a good thing. It works both ways, both men and women are jealous beings. I would hope that the woman that I do marry will be jealous just the same, and have the strength to abide by it. It is all a part of looking out for one another and putting the relationship above all other things. United we stand, divided we fall.
I think that anyone who denies getting jealous is either in denial or is smart enough, and has a partner that is smart enough, to not get into situations where jealousy becomes a factor.
I think that your answer here is the most sensible one I have seen & I have spent an hour reading. I am not a bible thumper either, but you seem to have clarity on the issue at hand. It doesn't sound like you are really the raging jealous lunatic, but you just sound healthy with regards to it & would likely respond to it in a more gentle manner. Am I right about that??
Incidentally, my guy rarely shows any sign of jealousy, although he does make the odd comment, such as, "That young kid was just totally checking you out, etc..!!" He seems amused by it. Or he'll occasionally comment that my ex that I dated for 9 months still has a thing for me. (we were actually more like a brother/sister - totally BORING!!) But he is one ex I am still friends with. My honey has a few ex's he's still friends with & I don't get bent over that either. They are ex's for a reason!!
I've read enough & am pretty sure I'm of healthy mind on the matter!!
So now I am off to sleep!!
Dee | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:27:03 PM |
What makes guys jealous?
DNA. It's hard coded. Most times it is heart's desire to obtain more than needed. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:39:13 PM | Don't know...Jealousy can fuel one hell of a cruel fire...
If she's mesmerized by someone whom she thinks has more to offer her...then you've got to let her go...If she hits paydirt...more power to her...
If the scenario doesn't pan out, and she comes back to you...I guess you have to decide whether to swallow your pride, forgive her, and accept her back...or tell her where she can pound sand... | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:50:00 PM | | Jealousy is a very normal and healthy emotion in reasonable doses. I don't like to date men who profess to have absolutely no jealousy in them at all. No one likes to feel disposable simply because the term jealousy has become a 'GASPOHNO' term, so no one wants to claim it. | |
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