| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:58:48 PM |
It doesn't sound like you are really the raging jealous lunatic, but you just sound healthy with regards to it & would likely respond to it in a more gentle manner. Am I right about that??
I must have gone to sleep right before you did. I am not a bible thumper, but I do see wisdom there, the old testament has some awesome stories. The new one has some good ones, but there is a little less lightning and thunder in it.
I hope that I have a sound mind. I don’t think that being a raging jealous lunatic would be any fun, nightmarish even. No thanks. So I would have to say no, I am not a raging jealous lunatic.
In Spongebob_75’s case, his jealousy was not resolved. His girlfriend did not communicate with him when he mentioned it to her, that is when it eats a person up inside. I think that both partners need to be on the same page; that way, when jealousy pops up, both can recognize it and handle it appropriately.
Jealousy
1. feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success, or advantages (often fol. by of): He was jealous of his rich brother.
2. feeling resentment because of another's success, advantage, etc. (often fol. by of): He was jealous of his brother's wealth.
3. characterized by or proceeding from suspicious fears or envious resentment: a jealous rage; jealous intrigues.
4. inclined to or troubled by suspicions or fears of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims: a jealous husband.
5. solicitous or vigilant in maintaining or guarding something: The American people are jealous of their freedom.
6. Bible. intolerant of unfaithfulness or rivalry: The Lord is a jealous God.
I think that the first definition is bad, and in count, the sixth is the best. When I think of it as far as relationships go, I go with number 5. Number six is just the way that I am.lol | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/24/2008 6:28:01 PM | Translation:
I'll answer your questions as best I can. I think you have good insight on this topic and who knows? Maybe I can learn something for my next relationship.
1. I loved her with every fibre of my being. I wanted to marry this girl and spend the rest of my life with her.
2. I don't know. She said she did but the words didn't match the actions. For example I was in the hospital in early April and on my second day there, she came and told me she was going to the Domincan Republic. She also chose to go to the bar one night rather than visiting me...
3. I was faithful. I didn't even flirt with other girls the whole time we were togther. I discovered that she had been securing a "back up" 6 weeks prior to breaking up with me. I don't know if there was a physical connection between her and this other guy but I do know there was an emotional one.
She started the job after we had been going out for a year. We were also living together at the time.
In response to "Don’t you think that it would feel, to her, like she was getting ready for work?"... You're absolutely right and this is one area that I was extremely petty and small. I should have been happy to just have her spending time with me but I wanted the same treatment that her customers got....
I guess for me the bottom line came down to respect. I believe that when a couple is in a relationship, each party should act as if their partner was there at all times. I wouldn't grind with random girls at a bar when I was dating her and I sure as hell wouldn't strip on a busride for a ski trip with some work friends (yes both of these things happened.) It's just simple consideration. I did my best to explain how her actions affected me. Like I said, and you've pointed out, there was little to no communication on her part.
Did I handle my jealousy well all the time? Definitely not. It took a long, long time for me to get that way though and I had exasperated all other options before it reached that point. It doesn't make the things I said in anger right though and not a moment goes by that I don't wish I could take them back. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 6/24/2008 6:57:34 PM |
It doesn't make the things I said in anger right though and not a moment goes by that I don't wish I could take them back.
I think that you should consider it a learning process. Note the type of woman that is not right for you. She wanted to be wild, so she was. What to recognize? Jealousy is a trigger saying that something is not right, and that is what needs to be identified and handled appropriately. Anger is a sign that you are too deep into the situation to think straight, and also needs to be handled appropriately. If I feel anger, I immediately pull my mind back and reassess the situation. It sounds to me like your situation was way over your head and you didn’t even know what to do, so you did the best that you could. It is hard to recognize, and harder to accept, that a relationship is failing and that it is best to end it.
A lot of relationships start with a bang. WooHoo, YeeHaa, and Rydum Cowboy. lol Anyways, there are no steps taken to relate with each other. It is hormonally charged with an attempt to work through the details later. What to do with that? I don’t know. LOL, its just part of the process I guess. I try to attempt to identify with a woman before connecting with her, if you know what I mean, wink wink, nudge nudge. What I am finding is that with many women, if I do not show an instant OOO la la, then they feel disappointed and unattractive. Which is ok, I see that as not being on the same level. I see it as wanting a moderate amount of whoohaaw in the beginning leaves something to build on, while an instant ramble bamble leaves too much of a ‘what just happened and wtf do I do now.’
It seems that I ran out of technical terms so I hope you don’t mind my quid pro quo alternatives. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 7/10/2008 5:49:33 AM | | i truly dont get jealous..its a wasted emotion...in fact some women have commented that they 'wanted' me to get riled up...it made them feel 'wanted' or attention-grabbing'..but trust me..its not a positive quality in the long run. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 7/10/2008 5:54:14 AM | | I'll tell you what makes a guy jealous.....If your previous lover had a bigger manhood than them!!!!! | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 7/10/2008 5:03:29 PM | Actually I have to recant my earlier post, after attending two seminars on this very subject, I said it was normal to feel jealous, according to my lecturers it is not. It is as many others have said, an insecurity issue along with other probable issues.
^^^^^how would they ever know, if they asked they deserve it. if not you must be a cavernous women, or you have it mounted on your wall lol. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 7/10/2008 5:13:49 PM | Jealous?
I have nothing to be jealous of.
I am jealous of you having me to be jealous of. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 7/10/2008 5:31:56 PM | | If you feel the need to make a man jealous, he is probably not the man for you. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 7/10/2008 5:35:30 PM | A great way to make a man jealous is to hand him a cold beer and make him watch you make out with your hot best girlfriend.
That makes us just crazy. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 7/10/2008 5:56:34 PM | comparing us men and telling the guys you females go on dates with that another friend is hotter than the guy your seeing right now. Any female that I'm seeing compares me with someone they like will get cut off FAST!!  | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 7/10/2008 6:35:06 PM | | hey miz....your only 24....so of course you and your pals are going to get jealous. however, as you grow older and more mature you may come to the realization that, that one emotion that we have as humans is probably one of the worst ones out there. and it will ruin anything that is good in a hurry. the way i see it is i know who i am...and if someone wants to try and make me "jealous" they cant...its a school girl game that i dont have time for and learned along time ago it doesnt benifit anyone. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 7/10/2008 6:38:46 PM | Akimmbo, msg #163: "We all share basically the same emotions...and they are all valid. The learning part of it all is to shine light on the good emotions, and work hard at keeping negative emotions in check, as just a small voice."
Yeppers. For anyone to say they don't have a jealous bone in their body, I ponder how many of them have filed for divorce or broken up due to infidelity??? For, if you don't get jealous whatsoever, what would it matter if your wife/husband/GF/BF cheated on you??? There are even couples who 'swing' and set boundaries of how far they 'allow' their partners 'to go'.
Oh, a 'boundary' was crossed you say? Hmm, guess that means each has their own boundaries of what they will tolerate, then, correct? One can disguise and spin it however they'd like. Insecurity, lack of trust, etc. The proof is in the pudding.
As Akimmbo stated, it's only a matter of working at keeping those emotions and feelings in check....so long as it hasn't completely obliterated your boundary, you won't act upon those emotions. The degree to which your boundary (IMO) was crossed, determines the degree to which you will react to it.
One can rationalize it all they want...."there's plenty of fish in the sea"; "I won't get jealous, I'll just move on," etc. Well, you just exposed your jealousy! Otherwise, you'd be cool with it and not give it a second thought.
~ds~ | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 7/11/2008 12:51:16 AM | | I HAVE NEVER BEEN JEALOUS AT ALL IN MY LIFE.iF SHE'S NOT INTO YOU WHY BOTHER? | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 7/11/2008 1:56:00 AM |
Ask her, she's married to her MSN spades buddy in Canada.
And they say it's hard to meet someone online. Why is it that people who are IN relationships meet people from the net so easily?? | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:43:28 AM | We all have our comfort zones, areas where we feel secure, validated, and comfortable within a relationship - jealousy only becomes an issue when our "position" in someones life becomes compromised or threatened. Some threats are real, some are imaginary, but those "feelings" of jealousy are very real and if not delt with in a healthy way can become a destructive force that leaves tragedy in its wake.
Jealousy has nothing to do with the other person and has everything to do with how we feel about ourselves within any given relationship. Whether that relationship is work, friends, family, neighbors, or a loved one. | |
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| What makes guys jealous?
Posted: 7/11/2008 12:35:08 PM | | Women get to use other Dating Sites for free... but Men have to pay $25 a month. | |
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