Karl73
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Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 51 | |
| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 9/18/2006 4:13:41 PM |
Any thoughts on how to get these dead beat fathers to step up to the plate instead of being pussies and making it hard for the rest of us who are real men??
Don't be silly. Nothing can be done. The current situation has support of almost 100 percent of the women, 100 percent of the primary media, and 50 percent of the men. Don't fight it; it is just a waste of your time and energy.
Men have one purpose in life: To be slaves to women. That is why men are thrown in jail for not paying enough child support. Only slaves are imprisoned for non-payment of debts. Only slaves will be thrown in jail when they lose their job and cannot pay. Only slaves are thrown in jail because they cannot earn imputed income.
It will continue to get worse so that men that do not have children will have to pay or go to jail. Slaves do not have rights nor do men deserve to be anything except slaves. After all, it is the men in western countries that allow themselves to be slaves.
If the time ever comes that 80 percent of the men decide to change the system then the current system is over. There would be nothing the women could do to prevent it. And don't give me some silly argument that women can have guns too. Never in the history of the world have women successfully fought men. Give me 100 men vs. 1000 women each with or without weapons and I'll bet on the men. It would be no contest. Men are single-minded predators and men love weapons and love to fight. Women are afraid of weapons and fight with words, not action. While the women would be huddled together in the middle of the night giving each other words of comfort, the men would be stalking them and picking them off one by one. The women would be terrorized and quickly surrender. However, they would not lose their sharp tongues. | |
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me+2
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Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 52 | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 9/18/2006 6:59:48 PM | | I have sat here and read all the threads on this topic. For the most part, all is lost! unconditional 68 started this thread. Just wants what's best for his kids which is likely HIM, not mom. Jordyn understands. Most of the rest of you are so involved in the "system", Judges" Lawyers" ect the ex being a culprit, and thier own self comfort....WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS? Everyone has "said" it! but done nothing for them but **** at something/one else to blame! Do it! Take action! Stand up and be heard! "FOR THE KIDS SAKE!" not to vindict the ex. "our" children are the bigest losers..... | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 9/22/2006 9:19:50 PM | | I agree, the kids are our future and if we don't try to make our divorce more about the kids, our society will continue to decline and be controlled by the government and the legal system. There are so many man out there who are caring and loving fathers and sometimes are better parents than the woman. It took me leaving my marriage and relationship of 15 years to get my ex to understand the importance of a small child and what they truly need from their family and parents. Today, he has come full circle and is doing very well as my child's dad. They have a better relationship and we coparent together. I'm not saying every relationship can end and have a positive outcome, but for cryin out loud, put your needs aside and the kids first. As parents, we are forming the people who will be in charge when we are single. Do we really want to piss them off??? | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 9/23/2006 12:35:32 AM | Karl ... has anyone ever accused you of reinforcing Darwins theory of Evolution ?? Wow ... lay off the pipe man ..
Unconditional - I agree for the most part, but the courts are changing slowly and as single fathers we have to simply just keep working the system as best as we canand showing the courts that fathers CAN do it. North America, as developed as we are still have the mentality of women stay home and men work.. as much as that isnt true anymore, and alot of judges are elder because of the time it takes to get there.... therefore its still old school thinking... but we are changing it together .. slowly
Equality isnt that far off
check out some of my threads for some interesting reads (child in sex store) | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 9/23/2006 1:41:17 AM | What I think it is going to come down to, is the fathers fighting back - setting up groups, and lobbying for change at the high levels of government. It can be done, but it takes perserverance and a lot of work. It is NOT right that good fathers, who want involvement and who are responsible should be penalized and lumped in with deadbeats! I know in Alberta, there is a movement for fathers to unite to get shared custody.
The fact is it is too easy for a woman to yell "abuse" or "addictions" and irregardless of the truth, the courts will be cautious and limit visitation/custody. This is wrong. The fact is, children need two parents, irregardless of the feelings of the adults involved. | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 9/23/2006 8:24:16 AM | | single dads get the dirty end of the stick. My x was/is a controller, didn't like to cook for the kids, thought of them "as more work for me". Told her if I had to do all my work and be Mr Mom, I would, but with out her. I filed for the interm for interm custody, she hide them for three days before moving out, would not tell me where they were and she got the primary caregiver, because she did the kids laundary,lol.Boils down to the only reason she will not let me had equal custody is she wants child support. | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 10/8/2006 8:55:20 AM | I hear you,
My ex was fine with 50% custody, untill I started... drum roll....... Dating! Yup, I went from the best father in the world in her eyes to somone the kids needed to only see once in a while. Yes, even though she kicked me out of the house for the love of a heroine addict. (Which I can prove) I lost equal access to them when I started dating 6 months later.
I have been fighting for 2 years. The kids are sneaking to my house after school and she gives them trouble for it. Last year she called the police on me for bringing them winter coats and boots, They needed and for going to their x-mas concert. That somehow equals harrassment. But when we are in court she points at me and says bad man, and I am the one under the gun.
Thats the problem in court, you are frowned upon for having a penis. | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 10/8/2006 9:19:08 AM | herlad:
Okay I'm not quite following.. I've never heard of someone losing 50% care based on the fact they are dating... I think there is something more to this that you aren't sharing.. The courts in this day and age simply don't just reverse a decision like that, once made...
You might want to get an attorney then.. because your in Canada I see... And I know Canadian Family Court is becoming alot more libreal over the years... and if you do infact have a 50/50 order.. to have it changed almost takes an act of god. | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 10/8/2006 10:33:37 AM | We had been seperated for six months. Neither of us had gone to a lawyer yet. I was pushing to go to a mediator. I did not want to spend many years and thousands of dollars on a divorce. I had agreeed to take all the debit and give her all our things. Washer dryer, furnature etc. I was happy to have 50% custody. She was reluctant to to to a mediator. Her affair was not working out so well. He not only wouyld not leave his girlfriend for her, but her was taking her money ( support, baby bonus etc) I know this because she told me.
To make a long a long story short, when she found out I was dating she would not let me take the kids anymore. I filed a interm custody order adn we both paid for lawyers.
SHe had been groomed to attack 2 things.
1 my character
2 my ability as a parent.
I was in the short term to have 50% restored. Only because I was able to present several empty heroine needles from her house.
THis was qucikly thwarted, by her lawyer who claimed I was abusive and that she only dated the heroine addict briefly found out he was into drugs and broke it off. ANd that I was blowing it out of proportion.
So I have to prove that I am not aggressive ( i have no criminal record, and not even a speeding ticket, I do not drink or use drugs) My children desperatly want to spend more time with me. She leaves them alone, when I get them they are dirty, with long finger anils. My odest daughter once had a knott in her hair the size of a baseball. It too me three hours to comb it out.
LAst year my ex wanted to get back together with me. She wrote me a 4 page letter talking about how she neglected the kids, had and affair and lied about me in court. How she wanted to talk to the Judge and straighten things out. It was all a miss understanding.
For me it still does not matter becasue whe has to be able to defend herself in court.
She tried to get back togther for about 3 months, I had 50% custody again and our lawyers backed off hoping we could work it out on our own. But after 3 months and I still would not leave my girlfriend for her, she pulled custody again!
She simply again said I was aggressive. No evidence, no proof, no truth and I am the one on the defensive watching my kids roan our town unattended. Yet if I walk them home from school, I have the police calling my house. The list goes on and on and on. and this post is not long enough. All the evidence I have, real physical evidence has to wait for court in a trial. Yet an alligation against me keeps my children far away.
On a positve note, I was able to get my children for the entire month of august in the summer and I am feeling positve about the results of a trial if we ever finally make it there. She was acvted so poorly that even her own lawyer was shaking her head in disbeleif this summer!
I have nothing to hide. I am an open book, and have been a hands on parent since the day all my children were born. We have an unbreakable bond. I have never spanked them, I have never put them down when I dicipline them. I use time outs for the younger ones and Natural consiquence for the older two.
These are four children who miss their father.
I am a father who wants to be in their lives adn their is nothing wrong with that. | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 10/8/2006 12:19:14 PM | You boys need a better lawyer thats what i did and i have FULL CUSTODY of my two kids and its the best when their mom has to ask for my permission to see my kids,if u really love ur kids lose the public defender and spend a lil money on who does it the best research is the key good luck men keep ur heads up, Or become one of those messed up judges | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 10/8/2006 4:22:36 PM | | It is such a shame that in this day and age men are still thought of as not single parent material. I know many men who are the best role models their childen can have. men should have equal rights to access to their children and not have to fight tooth and nail to be with their children. | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 10/8/2006 4:34:51 PM | | Ok what about the men that have done nothing for or with their children since the day they were concieved let alone born. should they be given access? Teke me for example, When I told my ex that I was pregnant the first words out of his mouth was "I dont want it" I gave him time to think about it cause I know it was a shock for him, I sent him home to his mother and told him to take time to think if he wanted to be a father or not and that if he wanted out I was fine with that but that I didnt want him walking in and out of the baby's life cause that was not fair to the child. I told him he could only come back if he wanted to be a father, he then came back and did nothing for the baby, has never supported her in anyway and I am not just talking money wise, I am talking emotional, phyiscal or mentialy wise. Our daughter is now 1 and in all the time that she had been here he has spent 3 months total with her and that was off and on, He has never fed her, sorry he fed her once she spit it out at him after the 3rd spoon full and he said he couldnt do it that was the one and only time that man has ever done anything with her. He has never changed her, bathed her or even played with her. Do you think that he has rights to access????? Right now I am going through court for custody and I am willing to let him come and take he for the day, she doesnt even know him, when he is around she cry's and screams and goes on and she has been this way since the say she was born with him and his family. He has never excercized his rights since the day she was born but he now wants to excercize his rights and have her every second weekend. No ok I am sure that it sounds like I am not putting what is in my daughters best intrest but you have to understand how can I just say ok here you can have her every weekend when he has not even shown intrest in this child tell now, he has never proven to me that he could be a father, she has medical problems that could be of danger if he is not looking after her like he should be. The last time we were living togther I could be in the kitchen cooking dinner and the baby could be in the playpen crying and him watching t.v and what does he do???? rather then pick her up to see what is wrong he turns up the t.v louder and tells her to be quiet. No do you think someone like that should be given access????? | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 10/8/2006 5:03:07 PM | Nevaehs_mom:
Okay first of all he does have rights to his child, and you should not try and impede the access to the child. However I can understand your concerns. I would simply approach the courts and ask for supervised visits at first...
I'm assuming the 2 of you don't get along to well.. So if you get supervised visits it will either be with somone you both trust... Or a court appointed person. I would suggest you both try and agree on someone like a family member... Usually will make the transition easier.
But once that is done, a time limit can be put in place, say 4-6 month review. At that time, if the Supervisor can stand in front of a judge and say the he/she thinks the guy is capable of watchng the child on his own, he should be affoarded such a right.
What's happend in the past, has happend... And I'm not trying to say this guy was roses, however he is still your daughters father.. And your daughter has a right to know her father as well. Unless this person is to be considered a danger to himself, or others around him, I can't see why access should be impeeded.
The other thing to note here... You have problems with your ex... not your Daughter. And thats the part I think we all sometimes need to reconize. | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 10/8/2006 5:09:58 PM | Hi Spider
I did ask for supervised visits but he will not agree to them, I offered them to be with his mother so that everyone would get to see the baby, I do not want her at his father's house cause his father is a drug dealer and has been arrested on more occations then enough and I dont want my daugter in that situation. He will not agree to anything that I am saying, he only wants her every second weekend so that he can say look I am a dad. Is that fair to my daughter??? like I said my daughter has been very un-comfy with him since the day she was born and I was not the one that seen that it was his and my family that brought that to my attention. And see the thing is the only reason why he is doing this is because his mother told him to. When he left he told me that he was going to have papers drawn up and sign over custody of our daughter because he didnt want to be tied down. We even went to a lawer to see how this would work and then we were booked for an appointment to go and sign the papers and the day before I got papers that he wants her every second weekend from friday 9 am to sunday 6 pm. I can not do that, that is like me giving her to a total stranger. it is not him that wants her it is his mother and she is using him to do it. Is that fair to my daughter? | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 10/8/2006 7:30:36 PM | Nevaehs_mom:
Well if he has been convicted within the past 2 years of such a crime, then you really have nothing to worry about. Right now, even without a custody order put in place you have whats known as Defacto Custody.
Essentially until he makes a complaint to the courts about not being allowed to see his daughter on the terms he wants... You have complete control. I would sit back and wait. And then make sure you have documented evidence of such things as his Drug Habits, or dealings.. | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 10/8/2006 7:52:53 PM | Wow spider I have to thank you much bro. I have been at a loss as to how to deal with my ex preventing me from spending time as agreed to in our court order (was reached pretty much through mediation just signed by a judge), since I have become involved in a serious relationship. And your suggestions offer a way out that won't upset the kids, which has been my concern. The only thing I won't be able to influence is any "bad-mouthing" going on when I'm not around, but I trust my kids enough for them to know from my actions that whatever is said is untrue.
Bud you made my fricken weekend. TY
And on the OP: Yes there is a very noticable slant in favour of women in family court, which is SLOWLY changing. In Canada inparticular a great deal is left to the "discretion" of the individual judges. That being the case, this is one instance we might learn from some of our American neighbours and elect judges. If they perform poorly or make findings out of step with what the public feels best they get the boot. | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 10/8/2006 8:05:01 PM | loonytunz:
Okay I'm not sure how I helped... but if I did... Glad I could be of service... I don't see how what I said would apply if you already had an order put in place... You can approach the courts about the order not being held up... but you already have an order up. | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 10/12/2006 5:36:37 PM | | Society is very hypocritical on this subject. If you don't step up to the plate you're a dead beat dad, but in the courts fathers are an after-thought. Having said that, I don't think enough fathers spend adequate time with their kids and teach them proper boundries. Many teenage boys don't have a clue how they should behave as an adult because they haven't had a father around to emulate. I'm just glad I'm on good terms with my ex and everything is 50/50. Had I been forced to go to court I would have ended up with every other weekend and one day a week. | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 10/12/2006 6:00:12 PM | | I do agree that courts arent as fair as they should be. However, there are people out there ( like my ex) who should only have supervised access...men who depend on their parents FOR EVERYTHING, smoke pot 24/7, play video games 24/7, and stalk their exes...and for other reasons. I believe that until bein givin a reason men should have as equal rights as woman. | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 10/12/2006 7:41:41 PM | Very Well Put chickychicka. All people in the realm of parental rights should be painted with the same brush. Unless there is some, and I stress this, obvious reason in the area of self harm, or harm onto others.
Just because you don't agree with the way in which a person decides to conduct their life is different from putting a child in a harmful situation. | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 10/13/2006 6:10:39 AM | | I have custody of three boys. All she's suposed to pay is $25.00 a week per child. She's behind $9,300.00 The courts or child suport don't do anything to but continuence after continuence. | |
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| Touchy subject...single fathers in family court!!!
Posted: 10/13/2006 11:21:25 AM | In my personal opinion i think that in most cases the kids are better off with their mom. When we went to court to get out custody arrangement worke dout our judge told us which judges were very pro mom and which ones werent. Luckily we got the one of the judges who was pro mom and he was very disgusted in my daughter's dad so i won and it was great because any other decision he made i would have been appealling.
Men get screwed over by courts but women also can get screwed over. It all depends on lawyers in some cases. | |
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