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 AUTHOR
 AREALANGEL
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 26
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's WitnessPage 2 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Respect his wishes and don't buy him a christmas present..they don't believe in it..
 EP
Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 27
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/3/2006 4:59:21 PM
Hello.
Being non-religious myself and standing by my choice to not get involved in any religion has limited the people who will enter a serious relationship with me,but I don't feel that compromise is a solution when you are trying to make a life together with different beliefs.
If your giving in,than you don't have much confidence in your beliefs and maybe need to look a little harder at them.Not a good way to be with some one or your self for any length of time.(general statement)
In conclusion;don't get involved seriously with some one of a different belief system that will not mix well with yours.Being up front with the other person quickly is always best.
Thank you and good luck.
 DeeLiteFul
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 28
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/3/2006 9:36:33 PM
I wouldn't date any I think some not saying ALL disrespect ppl I had ppl come knocking on my door and I tell them nicely that Im not interested they do say sorry but they come the next week same ppl same time I don't answer door but my daughter keeps yelling mommy the door lol... well been happening so much that I wrote a small letter saying Im not interested in Jehovah witness can u please respect me and stop knocking on my door ... I put it up on my door and they once again knocked I said did u read this .... my Super came up to talk to me and she asked me if they are harrassing me and I told her the story .. When they came the next week the super told them to stop harrassing the tenents if they say they not interested then leave them alone.... well I had the letter on for a month and Just took it down and they stoped knocking... BUT they keep knocking at my friends house all the time.
 mometal77
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 29
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah''s Witness
Posted: 7/4/2006 12:09:37 AM
Jehovah witnesses believe that the more your persecute them the more rights they have too go too heaven in a nutshell it is a cult just like the mormon belief i could go on and on. A friend just got married too a JW and her whole family wouldnt talk to her until she was married. She lived with him and had sex before marriage a lot of religions shun this but they out right wouldnt even talk talk lol. Knew a girl that got pregant single mom and was banned from the church for this. They persecute there own and its funny really out of all the religions out there this one is the most dumbfounded out there. Just think of it this way you get married too him your views and children will be forced into this cult. And with them coming too the door come naked scare the crap out of them.. have too have humour on this one..
 Bigger Guy
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 30
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History
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah''s Witness
Posted: 7/4/2006 12:26:50 AM
Just be very, very careful. It is as everyone has said. I am not a JW, nor have ever been one, but I have had dealings with several through the years. It could come back to bite you in many ways. If they are right into it (and most are) they OWN the person and their choices and desires. They have a basic freedom of choice, to an extent.....but they are owned. Very much against the grain of any other religion. Closer to the Mormans way of doing things, but on a much grander and ownership scale. Just be very careful .. they skirt the laws of the country ... barely and throw reasonable ethics and morality aside for the strength of their convictions. It has very little to do with religion and more to do with control and ownership. Even cult is a somewhat weak word to use. At least a cult can be picked apart legally, eventually .. JWs are pretty savvy in the legals and are more of an ownership of you mentality. The better you do ... the more you accomplish for them . the more you get to share in the directing of others lives ..... just be very, very careful.
 Pandora33
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 31
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/5/2006 5:18:12 PM
Thanks Tohino, this is one of the only positive things I heard so far. I am happy to know that your Mom & Dad made it work. I would be interested to know how they made it work. I need all the help I can get.
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I just don't want to pass this potential relationship by even if it means I might get hurt, I think it would be worth the risk.
 puntoguy
Joined: 6/26/2006
Msg: 32
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History
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/6/2006 10:43:37 AM
I can't help but laugh at all the crap people are writing, mostly total nonsense.

JWs do date without chaperones, they are not owned by their religion, they start when they want and quit when they want. There are loads of relationships where one partner is in and one is not. In fact one strange case where the girl was JW she married a guy who was not, within a couple of years she had stopped being a JW but the guy had joined. Both are out now though.

At home my mum never preached at all, she would leave JW magazines open on certain pages in places where we might read them, but we never did.

Anyway what I have said is that JWs might be different in other parts of the world, but in the UK they are just like normal people. The birthdays and christmas thing is a pisser, so we made up our own special day. Just so my kids don't miss out on getting stuff for their grandma over xmas, we made up our own day, the 'be nice to grandma day' 29 dec, we buy her presents and do all the work around the house.
 Jarbarian
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 33
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/6/2006 11:14:31 AM
Agnostics and those of faith are not equally yoked and I do not believe it would last.

Bottom line, look for someone else who shares your views.

Or even better, get to know God :)
 CeeDiff
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 34
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/6/2006 6:02:57 PM
I am a committed Christian--a Calvinist to be exact. I do not intend to get involved with a man who does not share my Christian faith. I know that I would drive him crazy with my comments about "Thank God for this" or pointing out God's providence in our lives for something else. I would feel barren when he didn't share the most important thing in my life--my faith.

For your information, the Jehovah's Witnesses are not considered a Christian denomination because they deny every doctrine of the historic Christian faith. By that I mean that they do not accept the eccumenical creeds such as the Apostles Creed, the Nicene Creed, the Creed of Chalcedon, and the Athanasian Creed.

You have to agree on the major issues of life in order to be happy together. When there is a huge disagreement on something as important as religion, I believe that you are setting your relationship up for failure. I would advise you not to get involved with this man because your religious differences cannot be bridged unless one of you completely changes his/her belief system.
 Pyro74
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 35
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History
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/6/2006 6:41:21 PM
I'm sorry to say this, But you should get out now. Down the road, he will try to convert you. He's not pressuring you right now because the relationship is so new. Trust me, if your not religious, then you shouldn't get involved with someone who is, or even worse, thinks they are. I am very non-religious, but I respect all people's beliefs as long as they don't try to force them on other people. JW's are notorious for meddling in their followers private affairs. They will pressure him to make you come to services or their kingdom hall or whatever it is. If he is truly devout, he will not change, but in turn will try to change you. This will only lead to problems. I know it will suck, but you should end it now.
 new in this city
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 36
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/6/2006 6:48:34 PM
I was a JW for 17 years and I'm now disfellowshipped because I allowed my daughters to socialize with worldly (or non JW's) kids. Unless you plan on becoming a JW, forget about him. Good luck to whatever you decide.
 chameleontat
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 37
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/6/2006 6:49:01 PM
Pandora -- As one who dated an x JW for 3 years I say unless you are up for a real battle steer clear. I expressed my concern on our first date and she told me that she was done with the JW's and would not be returning to it. In fact to this day 7 years later she has not returned to it neither has she gotten past it. She is ridden with guilt and hostility toward God, religion, the JW's her family and everyone else that she comes in contact with. When you give up everyone to become a JW and then leave them you leave with absolute solitude. It cost her relationship with her entire family including her children. She while following their way shunned her children for their disbelief in the JW's and when she left the JW's her children resented her even more. Now she not only shunned them but did so for a belief that she herself was not firm in. Do much research on this matter, there are many websites about x JW's that give insight to this and many good educational books and tapes. I spent the first two years of our relationship studying the beliefs and ideas of the JW's and the info. out there from those who have left for greener pasture. Unfortunately, it is not an easy life to live and even harder to leave. Hope this is of some help.
 FullestBooty
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 38
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/6/2006 8:17:09 PM
From my understanding Pandora a JW does not "casually" date, they date with the sole intention of seeking a marriage partner, who themselves are supposed to be JW's as well. Date's are also supposed to be supervised in some way, either going out in a group or with another JW couple. If he truly is a JW, then maybe he doesn't think of you two as potentially serious, and not looking for long term with you, which is why the supervised dates or your not being a JW is not an issue with him.

I'd be careful. It's a community that has a VERY strong pull on it's followers.
 trubblemakr
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 39
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/7/2006 5:38:13 PM
hmm as i was raised as a jw and am now not affiliated with any religion pandora i can tell u off the top that jws dont take ur property or any of that other bs, they basically follow the bible as its written n dont add onto it like the other religions have over time ie xmas and bdays etc etc all apparently pagan traditions, i dunno if yad b a good match for him as u have mentioned u dont plan on becomming a witness , myself i was never rbainwashed or urged into anything . i wasnt taught about xmas or any of the other traditions because they are not written in the bible and therefore have nothing to do with faith in god. there are alot of misconceptions floating around about cults and brainwashing etc etc but realistically any organized religion ie catholic reborns etc are cults as far as the word goes, the term disfellowshipped goes to them that refuse to change ways that are not according to bible teachings as in smoking sleeping around being gay etc etc not for marrying outside your faith.i can possibly say without a doubt that if u did marry the guy u would have difficulties, not unsurmountable ones if u are both reasonable and learn to accept eachother.its really funny seeing ppl comment on a religion they only hear myths of and make silly comments based upon nothing more than their own fears,
im not a jw now but i do believe they mean well and as far as the door to door thing goes well. jesus went town to town preaching so thats in whos image they are rendering theyre preaching towards , in his example
not like the tv evenagelists .
i nvr left the jws i just know i have to many issues to get past before id even attempt to measure up to their standards . they have probably the highest standards of any religious group out there as far as being able to b one and maintain it , if u have an interest in the guy tho maybe sit n have a talk with him n lay ur cards on the table n see where it goes from that point ,
 lissa_s29
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 40
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/10/2006 6:48:17 PM
Hi Pandora,

I too was raised as a witness and have chosen not to stay part of the organization. I have to say that 90% of what I've read here is inaccurate, so don't let people scare you.

Witnesses are the least hypocritical, most sincere people I've ever met. I may have not been able to live up to the "rules" but I respect those that can because they are sincerely trying to be good people and live a way that respects God and others. No one in the organization gets paid, and no one takes your money. Everything is volunteer work. People tend to see anything "different" as scary and make up all kinds of things about it.

Your friend if he is like me probably knows deep down that the way he was raised will always be with him and if he says he would like to go back one day it probably means he is looking at the short term when it comes to dating. You'd have to ask him but most likely he is thinking that he will have his fun now and behave himself later. If you are looking for something serious you should make sure that he is not looking at you as "fun" and going to abandon you when he is ready to make changes in his life.

I can tell you for certain that the way he was raised will have an impact on his life. A lot of that will be in good ways. He will respect women more than the average guy, he will probably not lie as much as the average person, he will likely have a lot of good qualities that his family has instilled in him. But you have to realize that he is always going to be in turmoil and be missing "something" in his life while he is ignoring what he believes is right.

There are lots of witnesses who are married to non-witnesses, it is discouraged because it is hard especially if you have kids, if you don't agree on how things should be done, but many people make it work. On the other hand I have just ended a marriage to someone who was so different in background to me that despite our love for one another we simply could not live together so think long and hard before getting serious with someone who has very different values and ideology etc... it would be much easier to be with someone who you share a lot with.

I hope this helps you somewhat. I sympathize with you and him a great deal. If you talk to him about this tell him that I said I know he feels alone, and I hope he gets through it okay.
 DetroitPNSWC0304
Joined: 6/27/2006
Msg: 41
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/11/2006 7:15:43 AM
I disagree, for some odd reason I have ended up having friends who are JW's and I just really can't stand them...They are RUDE...at least the people who were born and raised JW...The people who getting talked into becomming JW, usually dont bothering me, it bothers me that they bought into such a CULT!!! Yes I said it JW is a cult...Statistally, I bet you any money the majority of people who end up as a JW are at their wits ends and one day a JW comes to their door, and they think they are being given HOPE, I see it ALL the time...My ex friend her mother is JW, the only one in their family actually ( they are all 100 percent Native American) so the family doesnt really approve of JW's. But her mother actually had the nerve to tell her daughter that we couldnt be friends anymore, I knew her from 9th-11th grade and suddenly our senior year, the year that counted the most, Im not allowed to speak with her at all...Why? Because Im actually Christian, Catholic...I mean how can you do that, thats just crazy...Also I knew some younger kids who where JW's they were always over my friends house and they never did what was right, not that I ever did but I mean they just really rebelled...I remember the last time they were all about to get kicked out by the elders because the one guy who was a lil older was buying alcohol for the other minors, the girl and guy made out in a car and the elders seen them do it and then they called this girl who just joined and made her feel bad to tell on her friends. Im thinking HELLO, everyone is telling on everyone here about things that should be between them and God NOT JEHOVAH...I could see buying alcohol thats no good, but making out??? What are we in the fricking 1800's??? Thats nonsense if people want to makeout let them seriously...And the part about the elders following them and and seen them making out, THATS JUST INSANE...There is only 1 God last time I checked we dont need ppl running around chasing people so we can punish them, unless its our parents thats crazy...The whole idea of them not celbrating is just insane as well, I mean we are here for 1 reason to spread Gods love and word...And celebrating happy times is definetly God's Love...Im not sure how ANYONE could go w/o celbrating such JOYOUS Occasions...Its very intresting because JWs were the main reason the pledge of Alligence was taken out of schools and honestly the government doesnt support or ackwledge JWs becaues JWs dont do that to their own COUNTRY....They dont want to be involved with worldly people, umm hello??? lets think about this, worldy people dont ya think its because if they do then maybe people will start to realize that JW is A CULT...Lets move on to another topic I could talk about this all DANG day...JW not donated blood or having blood transfusions, OMG please, you have got to be KIDDIN right???????? I honestly dont know how any parent could let their 5 year old child DIE because they need a blood trasfusion and they wont let their child have it...Thats Crazyness...(I seen that on Trauma in the ER on tv) Overall as Ive said already JWs is a cult, Im sorry wut is it they believe 111,111 will go to heaven, why do they keep going door to door if thats all that are gonna get in??? wouldnt they want to save a spot for themselves??? I dunno God is a loving God he doesnt count out only a certain amount of people, Lastly this is a man made religion I dont know when it came about and I dont feel like looking it up but it was within the last 100 years Id say, Christianity has been around FOREVER, you know that one day some guy was pissed off with following Christianity and brought about JW and Watchtower....ok Im done now lol :) God Bless...Oh yea one last thing, to the girl who started this thread Id rather you be agnostic than JW...Thats how much I think its a JOKE....
 Scorp_ion
Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 42
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/11/2006 7:43:06 AM
this Jehovah and this non - religious one walks into a bar ya see and ..... lol
 oiler1971
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 43
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/11/2006 8:00:05 AM
I have to agree with tohnio on this one, I've had a long term relationship with a Jehovah's Witness. It really depends on the person you're with and their family etc..
While it's true they are extremely devout my wishes were respected to not be "changed" etc, in fact after a short time and several discussions with her dad, it was rarely mentioned again. Except for a few things I easily got used to and the holiday thing, we had what anyone else would consider a "normal" relationship and most days it never even came up. It really is what you guys make of it and I wish you the best of luck. BUT....
The reason we separated....and a deal breaker for me....
The subject of marriage and childeren was being brought up when I learned she would not accept blood transfusions. This would extend to our child, and I remember asking her point blank "if our child was in a car accident and needed a blood transfusion to live, due to your beliefs you would let it die?" and she cryed a yes answer.
 phoenix_devil
Joined: 12/5/2005
Msg: 44
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/11/2006 10:06:45 AM
If you have doubts, then just be friends with the guy and see how it goes.

Do you know what he was "disfellowshipped" for?

I wouldnt rush into anything until you see how he feels about this.

I agree with one poster that the JWs are a "cult". They live, they breath this religion. Yes, the people I have known who are JWs are very "close-knit". Meaning, they seldom socialize with those outside of the congregation. When they have gatherings, it is within the congregation. They do their bible studies and they attempt to dissuade you from cultivating relationships with those who are non-believers.

As dealing with most people who have strong religious convictions, be aware of what is going on and how they feel.
 12575
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 45
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/11/2006 12:36:04 PM
When deciding whether to date someone that is a Jehovah's Witness, there are a lot of things to take in account. I was raised as one from the time I was four years old until I turned sixteen and left my father's house, so I know a great deal about that religion, as well as many others. In fact, the JWs incourage you to learn about other religions just for the purpose of refuting them with the bible.

I will tell you what my life was like as a child growing up in the Kingdom Hall (the Jehovah's Witnesses church). My family was pretty poor. We were often looked on with pity in the Hall, and something that gave great pleasure to others was to give us their cast-off clothes. The idea of it seems nice, but it was done with a patronizing attitude, as many of the people in our Congregation were quite hypocritical. They had a tendancy to look down their noses at us because of our status in the church, and especially because we were poor. I don't know how it is now, because I haven't been there in over ten years.

My father followed the letter of the bible implilcitly. That includes the part of the bible which reads "Spare the rod and spoil the child." Needless to say, this meant spankings with a belt, a switch, or a yard-stick for nearly every transgression, even minor ones. As the oldest of two girls, it was my responsibility to make sure that my little sister listened. When she didn't- ie: getting bad grades or refusing to do her homework- not only was she punished, but I was also, usually with the belt. My father always said, "Why should I hurt myself to punish you?" and the all-too-familliar, "This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you." Yeah, right.

We went to three "meetings" a week- Sunday two hour service, Tuesdays two hour service, and Thursday one hour book study. On the weekends we were expected to go door-to-door and preach. It was especially good when I was like eight or nine years old, because most normal people won't slam the door in the face of a small child, although I remember going with my father to one house and the owner pulled out a double barreled 12-guage shot gun and pointed it at us. He was a Southern Baptist preacher. My father told me to go back to the car, but he stayed. Fortunately, he wasn't shot that day.

No, we were not allowed to have Christmas, birthdays, or any other holidays, including St. Patriack's day, Independence Day, Halloween, or anything else. Fortunately I was never seriously injured growing up, because if I had needed a blood transfusion, I would not have gotten it. I was not allowed to go out for sports at school, because that would be too much association with "worldly people". I was not allowed to go to dances, and I didn't until after I left my father's house. I was not even allowed to join the "Gifted and Talented" program at my school (which I well-qualified for), because it required after-school hours sometimes.

Don't get me wrong, though. There *were* good times. My favorite growing up was "goody night". This was the last Thursday of each month. Everyone would bring a snack or dish, and after the book study, we would hang out, chow, and socialize. We often had large gatherings at people's houses, where there would be music, dancing, and food. Sometimes we also had hay-rides, which was my favorite part growing up. My all-time favorite to this day is still the Hall raising. You have never seen anything so miraculous until you see five thousand people put together an entire building in just a weekend, usually three days or less. Everyone helps do something. One year we got nearly ten thousand people fed in under a half an hour. I was quite pleased with that (at twelve years old), since I was on the food line. Not one worker went hungry, down to the last man.

Eventually I left the church, but sometimes I still think of it even to this day. They ingrain their propaganda into your mind as firmly as they can. For years after leaving the JWs, I had nightmares about dying in Armageddon and burning forever in the Lake of Fire, because that is what I was taught would happen to you if you leave the church. Some days I still catch myself thinking about it, even though I have found my own church to attend that I am very happy with. I do agree that they are very cult-like. There is no reason why I should still sometimes fear the wrath of Jehovah for leaving, for premarital sex, for being bisexual, for masturbating on occasion (no, you can't do that either!).

My father is still with the Jehovah's Witnesses. He was in a car accident several years ago and messed up his back really badly. He's currently on the morphine patch and all kinds of other pain medications, just to get out of bed in the morning. The doctors offered him back surgery, which would have a long recovery but most certainly fix his problem. I found out last week that he declined the surgery. Why? He is waiting until after Armageddon, when the Jehovah's Witnesses rule the world and the "New System of Things" heals his body.

I'm not quite sure how to wrap this thing up. That was my experience, and I left as soon as I grew the balls to stand up to my father. It is up to the individual to decide. Not everyone has a similar experience. Some have really enjoyed it. Some of the people are really, truly nice. But I had a bad time of things, and I know a lot of people from my old congregation that have left it too. That's just me.

****Wow, am I long-winded, or what?!
 tabbie326
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 46
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/11/2006 12:39:32 PM
OOPS! The above post is mine! I forgot to log out my friend before I started typing... That's what I get for using someone else's computer...lol

 Pandora33
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 47
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/11/2006 4:57:19 PM
Thank you everyone for all your advice and stories. I appretiate all of it. I am still struggling with this but I am going to have a long talk with him and figure out if this is worth giving a shot.
 louismonette
Joined: 7/20/2006
Msg: 48
view profile
History
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/22/2006 4:06:25 AM
hey hope you made a good desicion. IM a inactive jw. Im not dissefellowshipped tho. Im juss not active in the activities in the present moment. First off i want to clarify some stuff. Most of the things ppl said about them on this thread is total bull crap. Most ppl hear the extremist of jw..like in all relegions they exist. Where normal ppl. We dont try to force ppl in a religion at all. We juss fellow jesus command when he stated to preach two by two to a man household to talk about his fathers kingdom. And it really depends (for the dating scene) on the person itself. Me myself i dated a non witness. Yes its not suggested. But they cant do nothing about it and most respect you. Its a choice given by god..not a commandment.
 Jiraya
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 49
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History
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:24:52 AM
I dated a witness once about 12 years ago. He won't be allowed to pursue anything with you unless you join. End it now before you get hurt. Yes, they do become violent.
 My Infusion
Joined: 9/3/2006
Msg: 50
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/1/2006 5:56:40 PM
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