| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/1/2006 11:01:25 PM | I don't even have to read everyone's replies.
i was a JW until I was 17. The past 18 years I don't really have a religion.
But I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt. If he is even remotely interested in you, (as in you not being a fellow JW) then his faith is weak. I'm not saying JWs program people, but it is a very strict faith. They do not believe in casual dating AT ALL. You only date if you are ready to be married. And sure as HELL it has to be another JW. in fact he will most likely be kicked out of the faith if his relationship with you is discovered. So be warned, he will want to keep it private. He will very rarely go out in public with you. And if he does get caught out with you, he is going to tell them you are a friend or relative. Even if he says friend you will see him get 'a look'.
So there is two ways this can go. He is thinking of leaving the Witnesses. If this happens, everything is fine. But he most likely is a virgin so you may have problems with that. He won't be very open minded sexually. Not at first. However he will treat you very, very well as the Witnesses teach 'honor your wife'. On the other hand they also believe the man is the head of the household and as such he will expect to make most decisions. (the women in the faith believe this also and 'look up' to their husbands). But like I said they treat the women well and he will listen to you and your concerns and will usually do whatever you want to do as far as plans go.
The other way this can go is, after a while he will feel guilty for seeing you and run back to the JW's leaving you behind. Don't be mad at him either. he's probably been in the JWs for a long time and is feeling a little rebellious or something. I promise you he is not a player or trying to toy with you. He is conflicted. I wouldn't give him an ultimatum either. he most likely has a LOT of close personal friends in the faith and will easily choose them if made to choose.
All you can do is maybe ask him if he plans to stay a JW or not. If you get a yes, just move on. | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/1/2006 11:37:37 PM | Ok I went back and read some replies. Tabbie you know damn well Witnesses don't teach burning in a lake of fire. In fact that is the biggest difference between Witnesses and other faiths, witnesses don't believe in Hell at all. From dust you are, to dust you will return. REMEMBER? Your soul doesn't live on, is what they teach.
Talking you out of property? It is possible that that particular congregation was far out of touch with Bethel (headquarters in NY). I can assure you if Bethel knew what was going on they would have shut that Kingdom Hall down. They've done it before when elders start taking things into their own hands. The people in the congregation become disillusioned. That is why they have CO (circuit overseers) and DO (district overseers) who come thru once a year or so to check up on the elders and the health of the congregation. If they are not following the teachings from NY, there is a lot of housecleaning done. People disfellowshipped who should have been a long time ago, but 'crooked' elders weren't doing anything about it. Elders removed. new elders installed. So I guess it is possible they were trying to get property BUT IT IS NOT A WITNESS TEACHING. They were doing it as unsavory people, not as Witnesses.
We were poor also growing up. But we got our clothes from family members. Witnesses would come over and help take care of the house (my mom was raising us on her own). Fix her car for free. never saw a pity attitude. I remember a MS (ministerial servent) coming over one day and saying 'i want you to write me a list of everything the house needs, everything.' She wrote out a list and a group of men came over and got the house in shape. They wouldn't take money so my mom had them all over for dinner one time. That's how it works with them.
And you know one of the big things I admire them for is the donation process. They frown on 'a showy display of one's means of life' meaning if you are rich, don't brag. So they don't pass a collection plate where you can drop a $50 on the plate with 20 people watching you and feeling smug. They put a box way in the back of the hall. So if you make a donation, no one knows and they certainly don't know how much. That makes donations TRULY voluntary, no guilting you into it by sticking a plate in your face with everyone watching. In fact they usually have two boxes. One for local donations and one for NY. And they were both overflowing all the time, even though you never saw who filled them.
What else did you guys say....oh their morals and ethics are screwed up? No sex before marriage, chaperones on a date, studying the bible, "obeying the rules of man" which means following all local and federal laws, treating your so and parents and kids with respect and honor. YEAH. That sure is some MESSED UP MORALS!
I know the no blood transfusion issue is a big deal to people. But when you see how transfusions don't necessarily save lives, and in fact the red cross discovered they had a ton of tainted blood a few years ago, it's not such a bad idea. The witnesses believe in it due to a bible teaching that blood is unclean once it leaves the body and cannot be allowed back in. But when it comes to science it actually can save lives. They do allow non blood fluids to be put in like plasma to replace lost blood.
Anyway, some of you are really misled and before you spew your crap, read up on it. That's why you don't see me say a WORD about mormons or baptists or any other religion. I don't know anything about them, which means I don't have the right to GUESS and make myself look like a fool on the internet like some of you did. | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/2/2006 5:02:45 PM | ^^^^wakedan.... very nicely written and concise response to the huge amount of false statements made in this thread regarding Jehovah's Witnesses-thank you-(I was going to send you a note regarding this; but you're not accepting mail from anyone outside 75 miles)
This religion is one of the most misunderstood religions on earth and people love to take liberty at as you said spewing crap about it.
OT: OP as wakedan has said...the man you're interested in is most likely conflicted; but if he has been raised as a witness, then yes, most likely he will treat you very well and it may take him time to figure out where he is regarding practicing or not practicing. Open honest communication with him would be the key.... | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/2/2006 5:25:29 PM | BEEN THERE DUNNIT ! ANY RELIGION WHICH BRAINWASHES YOU AGAINST SOCIETY IS DANGEROUS. IN THE BEGINNING ITS VERY ENTICING AND YOU WONDER WHY EVERYONE WAS SCARING YOU OFF.
IN THE BEGINNING, ITS ALL "NO PROBLEMS - COME WHEN YOU LIKE. WE NEVER FORCE ANYONE".
AFTER A WHILE WHEN YOU ARE IN LOVE OR ENGAGED THINGS START CHANGING EVER SO SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY, BUT ITS ONLY WHEN YOU ARE FULLY TRAPPED (MARRIED- POSSIBLY BABY ON WAY) THAT THE REAL BLACKMAIL STARTS. IT COULD BE " YOUR CAN ONLY HAVE CONJUGAL RIGHTS IF BOTH OF YOU ARE CONVERTED AND PRACTISING" AND THEN AMONG MANY OTHER THINGS YOU FIND YOUR SALARY SLIPS BEING CALLED TO VERIFY DETAILS. THE PRACTISING SPOUSE OR THE WEAKER OF THE TWO IS USED TO BLACKMAIL THE OTHER BY BEING ENTICED TO QUARREL IF THE OTHER PERSON IS NOT PRACTISING.
IF YOU ARE PLANNING TO DATE YOU MUST HAVE FOUND OUT THAT ATTENDANCE IS COMPULSORY, ATTENDANCE IS TABULATED. DURING THE WEEK YOU ALSO WILL GET UNEXPECTED VISITS AT HOME. THERE IS NO PRIVACY AT ALL. IN FACT YOU ARE TOLD TO DISCLOSE EACH AND EVERY DETAIL. THE HOME VISITS ARE TERMED AS CARING BUT ITS ACTUALLY CHECKING UP ON YOU. CLUBBING IS FORBIDDEN, MY CHRISTMAS CARDS WERE TORN OFF, COULD WRITE A BOOK. | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/3/2006 3:10:34 AM | attendance is compulsory? My brother is still a witness, but only goes to a meeting maybe once a month. all they say is 'we miss you at the meetings, how are the kids' THATS IT.
He is now referred to as 'inactive' which actually doesnt mean anything. hasnt gone door to door in YEARS.
man some of the crap you guys talk is just unbelievable.
Oh i just wanted to say about the 3 day Hall thing. I was about 14 when we sold our Hall to the city to be turned into a DMV (ha, from church to hell!). The only thing already done was the cement slab. I forget how many were there. Lots and lots of RVs and campers for people who drive up from far away. A huge tent that always had warm food, you could eat any time you wanted. It's amazing how fast it goes up. If you are not a qualified professional, you can help out in other ways. They don't have some slob who thinks he's Joe Electrician, wiring it up. All are witnesses. you dont see fighting, arguing, gettting drunk. They throw that building up in a little less than 3 days. That is water running, wall painted, carpet laid, lights on, roof finished. you can go right in and use the bathroom. All thats usually left is some trim work, and paving the parking lot.
If I remember, I did a lot of walking around checking out the girls from nearby Kingdom Halls lol. | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/3/2006 4:02:34 AM | thank you tohnio!!! i was getting ready to bring up my inards...lol. i can't believe the prejudice on this site!! ALL people have the right to believe what they want and should be able to do that without the ignorance and disregard of other people. i was raised a jehovah's witness but my parents gave me the choice of staying or not staying. i felt i couldn't render the beliefs so i chose not to stay...but it does not mean it won't always be in my heart yes...it does mean that i won't take blood. look at how many people have been tainted with mishandled testing and other diseases from blood. jehovah's witnesses have battled with medical science to create bloodless surgery....that's right...it does work. they are a unique society...not a cult. no one talks you into giving anything to the church...they donate because they love their faith. they build their churches together...with their own hands and own materials...they don't hold a basket out asking for your hard earned wages to build their churches. they have excellent morals. geez...heaven forbid that you have to wait until you get married to have sex....at least that actually gives you time to fall in love with the "person" before you commit sexually. nowadays....it's f**k first and then we'll see how good it is before we connect. give me a break!!! we all have our own beliefs and it is not up to anyone to judge someone elses. ever hear of a JW blowing someone's head off....committing a serious crime?? they are people of love and respect for human connection. sure...i didn't have christmas....but i never went without. does it take a holiday to give someone you love a gift??? i admit...it's a strict religion. i guess it just depends on how strong people are with their convictions. so please...don't prejudge unless you know what you're talking about!
okay...i'm done... lol. | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/3/2006 4:45:54 AM | | Im a Jw n yeh a lot of whats said bout them is rubbish. We re not a so caled cult, we re Chritians. We believe in the ransome sacrifise of Jesus. We also go by the Hebrew of Gods name JEHOVAH, AS IN JEHOVAHS WITNESSES.THE REASON WE GO FROM DOOR TO DO IS JESUS TOLD HIS FOLLOWERS TO GO FROM DOOR TO DO AND IN THE MARKETPLACE TO PREECH ABOUT THE KINDOM OF GOD. Also. our meetin on a Sunday does not last all day, like was mentioned,there between 1to 2 hours. Yes, we believe in no sex before marriage, but thats what God asks Christians to be. Gods wiser than us so who are we to judge. We go fully by the bible commands, old n new testiment. We believe ALL THE BIBLE, to be the word of God. We re anti war, m wont get involved in any wars whatsoever, rather be thrown into prison than that. A loy od Jws were thrown into concentration camps rather than fight with there fellowmen. Theres so much bad press about us, we re peace lovin, godlovin, christians. Persomally, i would want someone who loved God the same as me, was Godfearin n went by the bible, like myself, theres mnothin wrong with that at all. | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/29/2006 6:00:30 AM |
ORIGINAL: Pandora33 Thank you everyone for all your advice and stories. I appretiate all of it. I am still struggling with this but I am going to have a long talk with him and figure out if this is worth giving a shot.
That's the best advise on this whole thread, and you gave it to yourself.
There is a 'distant early warning' system to dating: If in the early morning dew of a new relationship something - like religion - freaks me out, I start analysing. I'm entirely too passionate for my own good, and I've 'overlooked' the warning lights flashing brightly in the past it wasn't pretty. Sounds like you're going through something similar.
Religious or otherwise, you and this lucky guy (lucky because [u]you're[/u] into him, remember that!)... where was I? Oh yes. Religious or otherwise, you and this lucky guy have some rather large differences to look at. This isn't just a matter of social, economic, or racial differences - it's religious, and even for those of us who are agnostic (like me), Christmas, Halloween, and all of those other holidays mentioned above are very important to me. Losing them would be a showstopper.
Like I said... the best thing you can do is talk, but keep your heart out of your head when you do.
Cheerio
D | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/29/2006 6:11:42 AM |
ORIGINAL: julieleeds
Persomally, i would want someone who loved God the same as me, was Godfearin n went by the bible, like myself, theres mnothin wrong with that at all.
No, you're right, there really is mnothin wrong with that. Persomally, I would want to be with an atheist, or at least an agnostic, but that's not a hard and fast rule. I believe the Bible to be a historical record of our early civilization, and I'm rather well read on it. I believe that is no god, there is only me, what I can control and the randomness of everything else. But I digress...
That would have been another point to make to the OP... It's entirely possible that he's thinking the same thing, religious differences are a two way street. | |
|
| |
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/29/2006 10:16:35 AM | hey, this thread was started months ago!!! How are things going with this guy?? if you don't mind ma asking? you can send me a message on the POF account too, I cannot send you a message!
I can share my story too :) | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/29/2006 10:25:21 AM | | Trust me on this love...run like hell from this one! First, if he were a true witness, he shouldn't be giving a "pagan" a second look and second, this is something you just don't want to get involved with. Been one...so I know. You are the one that will be burned and it's just not worth the pain. | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/29/2006 10:32:10 AM | many many many moons ago...i married into a family that was part alcoholic...
part jw. what a combination huh? ahhh...the indiscretion of youth.
since leaving that wonderful experience of control freak chaos, and mendicated
menial mush minds of moronic mediocrity, i have intensely studied the CULT
of jw..and also the looser boozer.
if you want anti-social sociopathic behavior in your life...stay with him... | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/29/2006 10:57:16 AM |
They like to take over your property and money too sweetie. It's freaky scary stuff. I know some who are....nice people.....but I ain't gonna marry one now or ever. Their main objective is to lure people in the flock and own them.
This is the stupidest comment I've seen (or heard of) regarding JWs (and there have been plenty). My grandmother was one and I have several relatives and friends who are Witnesses. Not one of them has ever tried to 'take over' anyone's 'property and money'. Nor have I see that their main objective is to 'own' people. Do some research before you start spewing such ridiculous nonsense.
Most every JW I've seen has been hard working, moral, and decent (there are always exceptions). As a group, they are people who actually live their belief and want to share whatever happiness they feel they are getting in their relationship with God with others and they hope people will chose to live in a paradise earth. Which is why they go door-to-door. If you don't like their religion, don't talk to them. They will stop coming to your door if you tell them to. As for dating them, if they are strong in their religion, they won't date a 'non-believer'. The guy in the OPs office must not be that strong. | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/29/2006 3:25:18 PM | | I grew up with a bunch of JW's. There was a Witnes Hall down the street from me, and a bunch of them lived on my street. They were cultish and hypocritical imo. I was glad when they all moved away. | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/29/2006 4:01:07 PM | | Pandora, if this guy was a JW in good standing, or wished to be, he sure wouldn't be following up on his interest with you. Sounds like he wants to keep one foot in the Kingdom Hall, the other foot with you. | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/5/2006 10:17:43 AM | I agree with you. That idea is stupid. I am not a JW myself but I do believe some of what I they teach. I have two aunts who are members. I have had many JW's come to my house many times. I have heard all sorts of rumors but I have never seen any of them try to take over a person or keep nagging when they see that I am not interested. They are looking for the Kingdom of God to come to this earth. Many other religions believe the same thing. You know why? Because the bible says Jesus will set up his Kingdom right here on this earth. If we chose to believe that or not does not change the facts. They have their right to believe it and share it with others. Personally, I like them to come visit me because they usually leave with a question themselves. But not about the main things. Only the less important things. I also believe the Kingdom will be here on this earth for one thousand years. And there will be peace and happiness for everyone then. I just can't go along with some of their other doctrines and I could never join their church. But if the ones who are not strong in their religion would be interested in me I would certainly not refuse to get to know them well and who knows what the future might bring. Live and let live.
It will all come out in the wash, as my mother used to say. | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/5/2006 4:10:44 PM | | pandora.......save yourself alot of heartache and pain.take it from someone who has been there.I too got involved with a disfellowshipped jw.anytime I brought up religion he didn't want to talk about it so I assumed it wasn't an issue and we fell in love and after about 8 years into the relationship (we lived together at the time) he decided he wanted to be accepted back and his family arranged for me to do a bible study and the more I studied with them the more I realized it was not for me and thats when all my heartache started. He turned against me and kept telling me if I didn't go to the church it was not going to work for us (the relationship).he started drinking heavily and threw me out, after 7 monthes of being apart he begged me back, he told me nothing will ever come between us again. two weeks after I went back he started fighting with me about it again.He would go days without speaking to me to teach me a lesson.I realized that his parents and daughter who were jw and were putting the pressure on him to go back . they were shunning him and making his life a living hell and he knew it wouldn,t work with us if I didn't become a jw so he made my life a living hell.I have been back and forth in his life for the last 3 years and I have finally left for good and its not easy. I need councilling now be cause of it all .I'm very damaged by it all and he is still trying to call me and comming to my door begging me back but why ??????????Don't put yourself through the pain.I have lost 12 years that I will never get back.If I can save one person from the pain then at least something good came out of it. lots of luck to you and God bless you | |
|
| |
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/7/2006 9:22:13 PM | ^^^^
What a crock. Try reading the comments again. From what I've seen the majority of people defending JWs AREN'T JWs, but rather, they have family or friends who are. JWs are, without a doubt, some of the better religious people around. Your ex was not a good example of a JW, as I've never seen one yet that drinks as you said yours did. Instead of bashing JWs why not put the blame where it really needs to be placed...on your ex and perhaps on your own bad judgment. | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/8/2006 12:16:34 PM | "some of the better religious people around." Everyone of us has an opinion, i will give mine too! Everyone of us has our own beleifs, some form groups, others stand on their own holding onto what they truly beleive in. In regards to JW's. Already have met the two sides. The individuals not worthy (disfell) and the individuals at the top of their ladder, (elders). Better religious people? It's only clear cut when your a JW. yourself.
My advice to the lady going into this relationship, Do your homework first! I wish you all the best in which ever path you take.   | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/8/2006 5:14:09 PM | Very similar in my case, my parents are also JW and I couldnt possibly ask for any better parents...Most of people misconceptions are just rumours, but there is a strict code of conduct, one too hard for even me to follow.
My advice is just be friends, have fun and keep and open mind.
love and peace | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/8/2006 5:24:06 PM | | maybe he will see you as his rapture instead of a belief.who wouldnt? isnt that what love is? find that and all the rest is worked out .love conquers all if it doesnt its not love. | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/9/2006 7:25:58 AM | To the OP:
I was a JW until July 2006...Is this person baptized in the JW faith? Does he attend meetings regularly at the Kingdom Hall? The fact that he is interested in you, a non-witness, tells me that he is either disfellowshiped, inactive, or not baptized in the JW faith. JW do not associate with other people outside the organization. They do not have sex outside of marriage, including masturbation of eachothers genitals, "making out." They date, in a group, strictly to get married inside the organization. However, they can marry outside the organization without repercussions, but it is not encouraged, as it is hard. So many things are unknown to me so I cannot make any suggestions without all the facts....What I can say is that if you would like accurate information about JW beliefs, the official website is
www.watchtower.org
Please only visit that website for the truth of what JW believe. The other sites listed here and on the internet are considered "apostate." What that means is that someone was a JW and now is not practicing anymore and they feel they need to invalidate JW....much of what is posted on this forum is false, but some are true.........The next time JW come to visit you, ask them to tell you about their beliefs...That way, you know that you are getting the truth. | |
|
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/9/2006 8:01:56 AM | I have a feeling that the OP of this site is probably going on dates .... cuz it does say on her profile Dating! soo I'm going to take a guess and say she's moved on! if anyone who was once a JW and would like to chat about it , I know a group that I belong to, it is infact Canadian EXJW's, I cannot remember if there is a American one I'm sure there is, but it's always nice to meet new ppl through this group. let me know and if you can't becuz of my profile settings then let me know on here
Kristie | |
|
Home
login 
