Abetha
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Joined: 8/5/2006
Msg: 101 | |
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/10/2006 3:26:31 AM | op.....if he's showing an interest in you, i say he's probably going to leave the congregation, on the verge of the 'boot' (elders will disfellowship members if they think they are making 'bad' choices), or he thinks he's going to convert you.....this religion does not believe or encourage having relationships of ANY kind, outside of the religion....unless it's with the above possibilities.......i have a friend who is no longer in this and a family member who is.......
this is an older post....you may have it all figured out by now with either future plans together or you've gone your own ways.......(it was on the front web page and felt compelled to respond).....all the best!!! | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/10/2006 3:44:42 PM | | Religion should not be a barrier between to people that want to make it,yes he could be disfellowshipped and his family could dis own him also but this is a decision you two must sit down and talk out,my grandfather was a prodecent and my grandmother was a jehovas witness and they truly loved each other for whom they were and my grandmother was not snubbed away,they both made it too though thick and thin they understood each others beliefs and it did not get in their way of true love ,yes they do not believe in some holidays thats true but to them every day was a special day and a fond memory and if you got all that what more could one ask for?If you like him and he likes you sit down and talk about the ways you could make it work and who knows it could be the greatest married couple in the world and all God wants is for you two to be happy,religion or no religion, | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/10/2006 10:27:02 PM | Shes obviously not to well up in the JW's and as such she would be disfellowshipped unless she stopped seeing him or she could keep it a secret, i like the secret idea tho, thats what i would do.  | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/14/2006 12:05:55 PM | I used to live in this neighborhood where JW's would frequently come knocking at the door, preach, read from the Bible, and leave pamphelts. They insisted on getting some verses in even if you politely declined. Finally I just said I was deaf, and did not understand (even though I could lipread well) and finally they stopped coming around.
Bernadina: Sometimes people make typos, as you did when you said "you don't 'no' me". Come on, lighten up, hon. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 1/25/2007 7:47:57 PM | All the adult JW's I knew were people with chequered pasts. Like born-again Christians.
I remember one of their kids telling me once that he wanted to kill himself so he could get to the "New System" faster.
They were weird. They were also pretty intolerant of me being Catholic. They kept trying to convert me and my sister. They always looked like they were going to a business meeting when they went to their "church". They didn't believe in going to college, since they felt the world was going to end (the date kept getting pushed back). Women weren't allowed to work.
I tried being tolerant of them, but as I got into my teen years, it got harder and harder. Especially when they'd tell me I was going to burn in hell because I listened to heavy metal and read comic books. Meanwhile, they were all total hypocrites. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 1/26/2007 4:50:22 AM | ^^^^^^^ iwarrior
JW's don't believe in a burning Hell-should know was raised as one. The word hell is a mis-translation of the word Hades-which meant grave or condition of the dead-no where in the bible is it taught that the dead are being burning in hell. Again another mistranslation of the word Gehena-which in Jesus' day was the basically the "town dump" where fires were kept going -for obvious reasons since it was the "dump".
I don't have a chequered past; nor do many of the JW's I know either. Most work very hard to provide for their families (including the women), last time I checked I qualified as a woman. When I was actively practicing, I worked. I also went to secondary school, which you are correct was "frowned" up at one point in time; but was always left up to the individual family's discretion and decision (ie-parents were usually the decision makers regarding if their children did or didn't go on to technical/vocational schools or colleges.)
The reason they "dress' for meetings is out of respect for the fact, you're in a group, assembling to worship-interesting how you remember that; but see it as a negative. Most people see it as a very positive "statement" about their "lifestyle".
Re: what children say-just as in any religion you will have some that may be "fanatical" in their beliefs. Also people who suffer from mental illness and instability can be found in every religion.
You can believe or not believe whatever you like; but "bashing" someone's faith and calling them a hypocrite when you first-hand don't have knowledge of or a clear understanding of what they do or don't believe shows how narrow-minded you are .... just as many of the previous posters have-which interestingly majority of the "supposed beliefs listed" by most of you isn't correct-again I was raised as one, was active for a large majority of my adult life, so I think I'm very qualified to say what they do or don't believe in  | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 1/26/2007 6:28:04 AM | ^^^^^^
Just wanted to add:
In many walks of life, religions, organizations, etc., people may have a 'checkered past'. This makes sense since many people tire of their old lifestyle and seek something better; something that gives them peace and purpose. I have known many JWs and only a small percentage actually have a truly checkered past. The majority were normal folks who felt they'd found something better and were pursuing it. If I remember my Bible lessons, Saul, who became Paul had such a past and was handpicked to become an apostle. If God or Jesus don't disapprove of such individuals, who are we to? | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 1/27/2007 1:54:04 PM | Well they certainly believed that they were going somewhere nice and that I wasn't, mainly because I was Catholic. They thought anyone who wasn't a JW wasn't going anywhere and would be destroyed. They gloated about it.
Oh I got an education from them, believe me. I remember reading their illustrated children's bible. This was 20-25 years ago, but still. They were cultish. They always acted as if they were better than everyone else simply because they were JW's, and that they could do no wrong. They lied, cheated, stole, and backstabbed. But it was ok, because they were "saved". I grew up with these people. I remember one of the mothers telling their son right in front of me that she'd disown him if he ever became a Catholic. Then they couldn't figure out why I gradually stopped speaking with them.
Are you going to the "New System"? That's what I remember them talking about all the time, "The New System".  Dealing with them in my youth lad a lot to do with really souring me to religion in general for a long time. Why should anyone's worth be judged by someone called an "elder"? They talk about them good bit also. Elders.
They also had this magical date of 1914, and they liked to move dates around. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 1/27/2007 5:57:59 PM |
Pandora33:"My dilema is that I don't want to get too involved and find out one day that it's not going to work when I've already fallen for the guy."
Your dilema here, isnt that he's a J-Dubb, as folks here keep tryna imply. This is more like cultural incompatibility than religious. And he has actually more right to his principles and beliefs than a Catholic Priest has to boffin lil boys. But thats irrevelant I guess. JWs live a lifestyle that is diffrent. Not freaky or crazy. We always wanna hate people and things that arent like us dont we? You will have to ask youself if that way of life is for you? First find out how well you know yourself ok?  | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 1/27/2007 6:00:03 PM |
GoodDay:"I have known many JWs and only a small percentage actually have a truly checkered past. The majority were normal folks who felt they'd found something better and were pursuing it. If I remember my Bible lessons, Saul, who became Paul had such a past and was handpicked to become an apostle. If God or Jesus don't disapprove of such individuals, who are we to?"
Nice to know there are still intelligent non-hating folks left out there :) | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 1/28/2007 2:16:32 PM | Who says that I am hating? I'm just telling you what I know of JW's based on spending a good bit of my childhood around them. If anything, they hated me. They thought that God was going to destroy me because I wasn't a JW. Excuse me for resenting people who have a worldview like that. That is what they believe. Why would anyone want anything to do with people who think that God wants to destroy you simply because you are not like them?
Do they have a right to believe what they believe and to practice their "religion"? Yes. But I also have a right to call them on it as well.
But back to the topic, unless he's trying to get out of the JW's, then I wouldn't get involved with him. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 1/28/2007 3:34:29 PM | I haven't read all the posts but from what I have read, there are a lot of opinions out there of this religion that just aren't accurate. It's amazing what people will choose to believe. However, that's not what this thread is about. I grew up as one of Jehovah's Witnesses and six years ago decided to leave. You'd be very wise not to pursue any kind of relationship with him unless you're prepared to be supportive of all the issues he's going to be sorting through, whether he stays with that religion or not. It seriously messes with a person's head and it takes a long time to get through them all. If he's ever reinstated as one, there's no way a relationship with you would work unless you convert. If he's not reinstated and leaves it behind, the resulting issues will cause a lot of upheaval for him mentally and emotionally and will very seriously affect any kind of relationship you might have with him.
It's a lot to think about. Please be careful. Your emotional wellbeing is far more important than an emotional attachment to someone who isn't in a position to give you everything you need in a loving, fulfilling relationship. I know...I've been there and would never want to be there again. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 5/18/2007 5:53:29 AM | | Im not from a jw bakground...but i myself,c hose to become . if anythin a lot of my old friends werent into it n my family , tho they respect my believes are not into my faith. Tho my sister is at mo havin a bible study. I was searchin for the true religion long before they came along , in my search for, but the these so called religions i found were hypicriticle n not practisin christians. Jws only give voluntary contributions, so they arent like some say in givin over so much percent of income.W e also give contritubutions towards worldwide disasters. I myself would see it pointless to be datin a guy who didnt ave the same love for God as me. Id want a jw guy n im willin to wait till i get 1. We re peace lovin,q uiet citizens, ho take the bible seriuosly. I feel my life now s so much more happier n at peace. I choose not to drink n to wait till i marry before sex, n im quite happy doin this. I much prefere the life i have now than i ever had. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 5/18/2007 6:00:17 AM | | good day.....yeh, paul was a murderer of christians before he became 1. God shows favour to those who turn from there old ways n washes em whiter than snow over past sins....saul became paul n started preechin ...his life turned round...God wants sinners to turn round. Mary magdeline turned round n became a christin.....theres still time for others to turn round yet....Gods patient , as he dosnt want any to be destroyed....I turned my life ound n even tho we re all imperfect, im so much hpappier doin things Gods way. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 5/18/2007 6:14:16 AM | It's been almost a year since you posted this...I'm dying to know how it turned out!
I've been there...was a JW for years. First let me say, if he does date you, he is going against everything they believe...they will do everything they can to discourage him from dating a "worldly" person, but if he persists and marries you, then they will do everything in their power to convert you, the "unbelieving wife." Of course, there is the possibility that he is not as brain-washed as they hope and he might be one of the young ones who realizes that religion is not "the truth" after all, and hopefully he will be one that is able to shake free of it and live a normal life. Good luck! If you are still involved with this guy and feel a need to discuss the religious aspect, I would love to hear from you! | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 5/19/2007 12:45:16 PM | | believe me when i say that a jw will find pain if they start to date a non believer...before i got baptised i met a guy who i fell in love with...he told me he had love for god, but he didnt...he tried to get me to slaken my defences...i felt torn between hin n god, but in the end i askt god for help n he refered me to 1 corrinthians chapter 7 v 8...n i didnt wanna put my relationship wi god in jepeordy, so i chose to stand by my believes instead...i did feel pain, but i askt god in prayer to help me wi the pain of loosin this guy, all i can says that god did realy help me, as id done what he askt me to, n i fell out of love wi this guy wi gods help. i firmly believe that if we stik to god wholesoled he will help us thro any tribulations we have n believe me this has been the case for me. im now waitin for a nice jw guy n in the eantime ive my family b lotsa friends who i love. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 5/28/2007 8:06:28 AM |
Of course, there is the possibility that he is not as brain-washed as they hope and he might be one of the young ones who realizes that religion is not "the truth" after all, and hopefully he will be one that is able to shake free of it and live a normal life.
Brainwashed?? What crap! Brainwashed is what you call those foaming-at-the-mouth fanatics, who, in spite of ALL the evidence stacked up against him, insist on standing firmly behind George Bush, claiming that he's right and is a moral upstanding individual!
Jehovah's Witnesses don't 'brainwash' anyone. They teach from the Bible (you know...that book Mr. Bush pretends to know about...but we all know he can't read, after all, the children's book he was reading on 9/11 was turned upside-down!), so people can make informed decisions in their lives.
You are so misinformed about JW's. If you would allow yourself not to be close-minded, you might find some benefit to reading something about them...and I don't mean literature from other close-minded people claiming to 'prove' JWs are a cult or whatever they're inventing. Just_Jill, at 61, you're still young enough to learn something new and to try to expand your thinking. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 5/28/2007 9:30:47 AM | Julieleeds
Just caught up on this post as its an old post been brought back to life.
I myself am a ex JW's still am really as i am not disfellowshiped. But have chosen to not live my life as a JW. But i was wondering why you as a JW are you baptised? As JW's do not date/marry non JWs. Have chosen to be on this dateing site. If you are a strict JW and from your replies you are then surely you should be looking for a partner in the congregation? I myself do believe that is the best way. Being a JW is a way of life and being in a relationship with a non-believer cause's alot of conflict and yes i can say that as i was married and then became a JW it caused alot of heartache.
I truely believe that once you have been a JW it never leaves you no matter how much you try to block it out of your life. Guilt does play a big part. But also i do believe that they are only trying their best and liveing there lives as peacefully as they can. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 6/3/2007 9:38:31 PM | | This could be a serious problem.If my information is right,you will either have to convert,or he could be excommunicated from the JW.They ARE very serious,in what they believe.Either way,your life will become,a whole new,book of rules. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 9/1/2007 11:37:40 PM | I am one of Jehovahs Witnesses, ive been reading the comments on here and im getting quite a few giggles... but as humorous as it is to me that ppl can so readily believe so many weird and bizarre misconceptions about JW's i realize that it is kind of serious at the same time. I see peoples comments and i realize that they are seeing things from there own perceptions and own experiences .. please remember that ya... there are wackos in all religions... even ours lol... shocking huh... jk but if someone has had an experience with say.. property being manipulatively taken from someone... well thats horrible and i have NEVER EVER heard of seen anything like that being done... i will also say... that there are instances in our religion where ppl, elders even have been found to be unscrupulous or displaying unchristian like qualities and.. well in time .. maybe not in as fast as a time frame as we would like.. but they are dealt with and removed from serving in any capacity ... if something illegal is taking place then the authorities will be informed immediately... it is sad when that happens because then the whole organization is judged on the actions of few... its like... my dad used to drive truck for erb transport.. he loved the head office staff in toronto... but hated who he worked for here in tbay... the company ERB itself was awesome... the head office ppl were great... but the office here sucked, and made my dads life very difficult for reasons that are not important but the point is... its not the whole company that is bad just that one part... same with our religion or any for that matter... try not to believe everything u hear... we are not nut bars or users... if u ahve a question ask... if we dont know we will find out... if u dont want us at the door ... tell us we will stop... for a while anyhow... we have to go back eventually cuz u may have moved and someone else will live there that may want to hear the message... wow im writing a novel arent i lol... anyhoo... i just thought id toss in my 2 cents.. take them for what there worth lol  | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 9/1/2007 11:52:31 PM | | i agree whole heartedly... i am a jw and married a non jw... and as u can see from my profile we are in the middle of a divorce... thats not to say it will happen to everyone.. i do know some successful relationships that they are " unevenly yoked" and also... i didnt get disfellowshipped for dating or marrying an unbeliever... they certainly dont encourage it... because lets face it , our religion is more like a way of life and it is difficult for someone who doesnt believe it... no christmas ... no birthdays... no holidays... for us its not a huge deal because we understand why .. and we have lots of fun times within our organization.. and make sure there are lots of activities and get to gethers... but... it is a big strain on a marriage if you both believe differently... at first your all honeymoon phase and love and hearts and dreams .... then... whammo you notice he has bad breath and leaves his socks everywhere lol jk but hey... reality sets in... and all of a sudden things arent so easy and u realize your not living as one.. you have two sets of beliefs and it takes a toll... in my case we grew apart and in the end even resented each other.. so you are right to consider very very carefully this type of relationship... i personally.... say run... its too hard..it will take 2 very nice ppl and turn them into 2 very lonely and lost ppl... why even take the chance.. but thats me.. and since my break up is only 2 months fresh im kinda bitter lol | |
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