MISS13
| | Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 76 | |
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| You see her picture, you dont like and you ignore, she's upset ..why do men do this ?
Posted: 7/8/2006 7:31:14 PM | Sally,
Oh, wow, he is a rat. I always think by ignoring a person because of appearance is good evidence for lack of character, no manners. If you are not pleased with their appearance, be gentle, no one can help how they look. Remember how you would feel if someone shunned you because of your appearance.
Elphaba | |
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MISS13
| | Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 80 | |
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MISS13
| | Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 81 | |
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| You see her picture, you dont like and you ignore, she's upset ..why do men do this ?
Posted: 7/9/2006 9:51:53 AM | LOL Guess everyone had a lot to say about this.. As you can see from the comments, it's a hard thing to deal with. People don't like to be put in an uncomfortable position, and I grit my teeth everytime waiting for the picture. lol.. Most, to be honest are not good. Seems you expect it to be bad, and are pleasantly surprised when it's a face you might be able to kiss. I would think it's better to put the pic up.. and hope for the best. Not all looks are for all people, and if people are only looking for the physical, then so be it. I like to know the person and the pic a bit. But some looks, to be honest, I can't get beyond. But, I think most of us are like that to some degree, or all of us would be tried up with just anyone and wouldnt need to be on here, if we liked it all and liked all looks hehehe..
Hope all of you, and I, find what we are looking for and are happy!!
Linda | |
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| You see her picture, you dont like and you ignore, she's upset ..why do men do this ?
Posted: 7/9/2006 4:33:37 PM | | Sometimes it's hard to tell someone that you aren't attracted to them. Physical attraction can be a very important aspect in a relationship. Some feel that without a physical attraction, the emotional attraction is weaker. Some people want the guy or girl that they can look at and just think 'they're beautiful, they're amazing and they're mine'. Guys also tend to base a lot more of their attraction of physical qualities. It's the natural mindset. As much as they may like a girl on a mental level, they crave the sexual attraction and are set off more easily by what they see, while girls tend to look deeper and can more easily look past what they see. But hey, I'm still only a teenager. I could very well be wrong. | |
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| You see her picture, you dont like and you ignore, she's upset ..why do men do this ?
Posted: 7/9/2006 4:34:31 PM | I would like to see a picture; however, I've found out that sometime the package on the outside isn't as good on the inside. Appearance is important because people do have a particular attraction to certain types. I have talked with a few people that weren't my type, and had a great conversation but I would not go out with them. I would rather have someone say that I am not their type then keep a person hopeful to something that would not happen. I don't think I am shallow, I just know what I want and I am not going to settle for less. Also, I have made a lot of friends online because they are really great people, just nobody I would date or build a relationship with.
Online meeting is different, if I wouldn't approach a guy on the street, then why would I do it online (based on his looks). And yes it would be nice for the guy to say so, but I not going to lose sleep over it if he doesn't.
Hope your friend doesn't take whatever other people do to personally. It isn't about her or really what she looks like. People just have certain type, and don't have the balls to say so... | |
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| You see her picture, you dont like and you ignore, she's upset ..why do men do this ?
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:04:19 PM | | Well, here is my input. Seems to me all these online dating sites appear to have both men and women who absolutely have to see a photo before determining if they are acceptable to go forward with. Whatever happened to old fashioned romance where the man and woman courted and if things went right then they continued the relationship. I say why not chat for a while and see where things go and then do the photo exchange concept but please be nice. It also is my opinion that people who have to see a photo first to see if they have anything in common then they certainly have issues. How does a persons appearance have any effect on whats really in their heart and soul. It goes back to that looking glass shame I speak of in my profile. Im about in the burn out zone with online dating sites.....Savannahh | |
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| You see her picture, you dont like and you ignore, she's upset ..why do men do this ?
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:11:49 PM | | To express interest in someone, male or female, only to reject them without a word of explanation after seeing their photo is callous and hurtful. Sure, we all have the right to be attracted to whomever, but the all-too-convenient anonymity of the Internet aside, don't we also bear the responsibility of not shredding other people's feelings by rejecting them out of turn? Why not just send a quick email, as someone else suggested, saying 'you're not my type'? | |
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| You see her picture, you dont like and you ignore, she's upset ..why do men do this ?
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:28:45 PM | [Whatever happened to old-fashioned romance where the man and woman courted and if things went right then they continued the relationship]
The problem with the internet and old-fashion romance is that they are not the same. Before the internet, you got to see who it was that was romancing you, and therefore, you knew if there was an attraction. And if you are the pursuer, you would have never started the pursuit. It would never get as far a good conversation, expectations, etc; and if it did, I am sure both parties would know that they were developing a friendship only.
Here is the dilemma with the internet; you are enjoying their conversation and they send you a picture. You are not attracted to them BUT how do you politely say that since it is obvious that the only change was the picture they sent! If you say that "you are not my type" isn't that an insult? I know some people would take it that way, because I have received a few negative responses back even when I have replied honestly, and as politely as possible. I have yet to find a graceful way out! | |
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ade1
| | Joined: 5/20/2006
Msg: 89 | |
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| You see her picture, you dont like and you ignore, she's upset ..why do men do this ?
Posted: 7/13/2006 9:44:35 AM | Hey Sally women do it too. if people would look past looks, and into the heart, there would not be a need for this web site. sadly, we as a society are hung up on apperance. Ive known and dated some 'hotties" that would make my buddies drool in their beers. but ive found those type of people superficial and shallow.
your friend was lucky she found out her interest was shallow' better now than later. she's the winner, and he's the looser.
happy hunting
Andy | |
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| You see her picture, you dont like and you ignore, she's upset ..why do men do this ?
Posted: 7/13/2006 12:36:47 PM | No picture = I have found that no picture is a bust, because I have already made an image of my own as to what that person looks like. When I then meet them, which is tough because you don't know who to look for when you meet, I get a let down and it takes the whole date to get my head into the new look.
I always seem to create an image of a person with no picture, based on what they say about themselves. This is the biggest drawback to no picture. This also leads to a lot of time spent trying to find someone. I rarely look at profiles with no picture because it is a great time waster.
Picture = I know what she looks like. Yes, put up a reasonable picture where the top part of the body is clear and easy to see. Warning, cropped and poor lighting pictures are not much good on here. I was at a POF gathering and saw a very beautifull woman, who I didn't think that I had seen before. When I was told who she was, I nearley swallowed my cud. She doesn't look at all like her picture on pof. Even if you see a picture, there is no feeling in a picture and you need to know the real person, to make the picture mean something.
The virdict = Post a picture and take some time to get to know the person. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Be kind to your brothers and sisters. | |
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| You see her picture, you dont like and you ignore, she's upset ..why do men do this ?
Posted: 7/17/2006 4:16:26 PM | This happens to me alot. I think to myself, AM I THAT DAMN UGLY!! I KNOW IM NOT!(JUST ON THE PLUMP SIDE) What's wrong with that ? THE PLUMP MEN THINK THEY ARE FINE THOUGH, AND SHOULD BE WITH SMALL WOMEN.What's the difference ? PLUMP WOMEN LIKE TO BE LOVED TOO !! REMEMBER THIS, PRETTY IS AS PRETTY DOES. IT'S NOT WHATS ALWAYS ON THE OUTSIDE THAT COUNTS. ITS WHATS INSIDE THE HEART TOO !!  | |
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Snugs
| | Joined: 4/30/2006
Msg: 95 | |
| You see her picture, you dont like and you ignore, she's upset ..why do men do this ?
Posted: 7/17/2006 4:27:00 PM | | In all honesty hun, Ive written dames( & NO, I dont usually call women dames) just to say hello, & havent gotten replied to. Ive written some of the most sincere things I could think of & havent gotten a reply back, this isnt just a guy thing.. Its a people thing... Cuz the dames do it too. Tell ur friend not to take it personal. Im sure it happens to most of us. | |
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| You see her picture, you dont like and you ignore, she's upset ..why do men do this ?
Posted: 7/17/2006 4:34:08 PM | Ahhh.... the picture delema...to say or not to say..
Depending on the mood.. i will do either...
Often times being that we are sitting behind a computer screen... rejection causes people to lash out like they never would in real life...
Many many times I have said "sorry not interested" to have an slew of disgusting insults thrown in my sudden direction...  Often times its better to NOT give a response, because of this...
To simply block delete can get the point across... and i wont have to deal with the childlish insulting that 99% of the time comes after the rejection..
But I generally try and put a poliet.. sorry but not interested... and follow with a block :) | |
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RAD4U
| | Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 97 | |
| You see her picture, you dont like and you ignore, she's upset ..why do men do this ?
Posted: 7/17/2006 4:36:41 PM | I've experienced the same sort of behaviour from a woman. It was a bit surprising given that her post had promised a pic for a pic and stressed the importance of trust in "any relationship".
Personally I don't see this as anything to get too upset about-- it's just a lesson that there are hypocritical people out there. It may be trite, but this is the advice I gleaned from relationship books and a bit of therapy following my divorce a couple of years ago:
If you're not ready to handle failures in your attempts to establish relationships, then you should be working on building up your emotional health (on your own!). When you're at the point where such rejection is of no major concern to you, then you're ready to date-- online or off. | |
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| You see her picture, you dont like and you ignore, she's upset ..why do men do this ?
Posted: 7/17/2006 5:07:37 PM | | Whatever information -- including photos --people choose to post on their profiles should be just that: their choice. I consider a response that (my instincts say) is "respectfully honest," something to appreciate. A "Thanks for your interest, but there's no romantic potential" e-mail is just as valuable an experience in its own way as is the "Let's exchange a few e-mails and see where this goes" e-mail. For one thing, it provides me with closure: this guy simply isn't interested, so i can erase one more name from "One Special Someone List of Possibilities". And then direct my energy in a more potentially productive direction! For another, the sender is validating the fact that i was willing to chance a rejection and appreciates that i have made the effort in the first place. For a third, it's not easy to be "honest" when you know that you're not sending someone the message s/he wants to receive. To this effect, an e-mail saying "a respectful no thanks" requires some kind of effort on the part of the sender. Overall, i'd have to say that while i am, "still seeking," the experience on this site has continued to reinforce my belief that most people here are essentially trying their best to do the right thing for themselves and everyone else. Who can ask for more than that? | |
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| You see her picture, you dont like and you ignore, she's upset ..why do men do this ?
Posted: 7/17/2006 5:15:56 PM | Have any other blokes done this ? and have any women done it to men ?
===========================
You have to ask Sally.
Youve heard it a thousand times from your GFs. (Mostly the ones who can't score dates) "Dont say yes the first time or he wont respect you" and other such drivel. Of course women do it to men. All the time. | |
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| You see her picture, you dont like and you ignore, she's upset ..why do men do this ?
Posted: 7/17/2006 5:30:23 PM | Was this during IM, or he just didn't answer any more of her emails? Either way, I think that is VERY bad manners.
It's a difficult thing to say to someone, but come on...get some guts, and find a polite way to do it. I usually write something like, "Thanks for the picture. You seem like a really nice person, but to be honest you aren't really my type. I do enjoy our emails though, so if you'd like to be friends I'm cool with that."
Usually they don't want to be just email friends, so that pretty much solves the problem without having to be rude. | |
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