nrk
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Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 76 | |
| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 6/22/2005 8:42:24 AM | I wouldn't put in my profile that I am in AA, because so many do not understand. Some think we are like the temperance ladies that want to stop everyone from drinking.
VERY true, stoneground! I attend Al-Anon and can't tell you how many people ask 'so why are you having a drink?' if I happen to tell them when I'm out having a few with friends.
To mspicky - I agree that 12 step meetings can seem 'cultish' at first...when I started Al-Anon I thought those weirdos were chanting religious crap in the intro...ughhhhh! However, if you give the program a chance you get past that and it REALLY works! I've been going to Al-Anon almost 10 years now and no one has 'brainwashed' me into it...I go because it is a safe place to share my feelings with people who will NOT judge me, no matter what I share. The program has made me a better mother, lover and friend and I am a 'lifer'.
OT: I would be very cautious about dating someone in AA. I would want to make sure they were actually working their program, not just showing up at meeetings. But better to date someone in AA than someone who thinks their drinking is social when it clearly isn't!!  | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 6/23/2005 5:12:02 AM | Wow, mspicky, that's pretty strong. To me that is like saying that I wouldn't date a diabetic. The doctors brainwashed her into thinking she can't live without insulin. You are entitled to your opinion, of course, but I have been in the program 20 years and I do not feel brainwashed. I've changed my behabiour and become a better person. I look forward to meetings to see friends and give and receive support.
There are a lot of women here (and elsewhere) who have had relationships go bad because of their partner's drinking. I don't broadcast that I don't drink, but it usually comes up the first time you go for dinner or "drinks". I tell then that I had a problem and I no longer drink at all. The reaction is usually so good, that I'm thinking of getting a temporary tattoo for my forehead before the next singles dance. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 6/23/2005 6:10:18 AM | | ^^^^ Well said. Ive been a member of Doctor Bobs office for almost 4 1/2 years now, and have never felt "brainwashed". I wonder if those friends of mspickys are still sober today? Dont think ive ever met anyone with 10, 20, or 30 years of CONTINUED sobriety in A.A. that have ever said "They brainwashed me!" Ive worked with the general public for close to 4 years now, dealing with on the average 450-600 people a night. Have probably broke my anonymity with over half of them, at my choosing after getting to know them. I would say that over 90% of them respect me for for what ive done, and a very good percentage as well have come to me talking about alcoholism in regards to themselves, a family member or friends. Have even taken a few to meetings. If someone reaches out, I try to be there for them. But, in turn, i've sent replies to letters ive got on P.O.F. and told them I was a recovering Alky, and that was the last I heard from them. Sheesh... isnt like this is the plague or something! But thats ok.... as it also tells me that im probably better off not meeting that person,as they have a problem accepting things. No matter what happens today in my life, ive learned a new freedom, and thats all that matters to me as long as I stay sober and help the next person who needs it. Congrats on your year. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 6/23/2005 6:49:10 AM | | PLEASE Listen to me on this one. Read all the profiles you want on women, they all say they want HONESTY, and HUMOR. What they really mean is they want you to be honest with them about other women, and that is all the honesty they want. And that is about all the honesty most can handle anyway. I have read many profiles, examples...some have kids at home but yet want a man without kids...most make under 30k a year but want a man that makes 100k, one even smokes pot but wants a man that doesn't smoke cigarettes, cigars or a pipe. some are in their 40's and wants to have kids. Some say a FEW extra pounds then when you meet them a few turns out to be 50lbs. Some say BLOND hair and the roots are brown. So I say omit the AA from your ad and let them get to know you first. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 6/23/2005 3:02:42 PM | Thanks Gary it sounds like youve been there and done that and i appreciate your positive input and it sounds like you have the kind of job i would like to have one day When i started this thread i had no idea so many people would respond and know where i was coming from and i guess that brainwashing comment kind of hit me hard because if they didnt try their best to keep me coming back i wouldnt have so i probably would be still OUT THERE so a thousand thank yous to all you AAs out there that keep me strong and going God bless you all Charlie BTY its cake for me july 9 | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 6/24/2005 11:45:58 PM | Hi there beachboy and all. Stone, I love the bit about the tattoo on the forehead. LOL!
I too get great respect from every-one I tell. It's a good thing being sober.
What a wonderful life we all have eh? KCBIW | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 6/25/2005 12:20:35 PM | Beachboy, I  applauded you on another thread because you did mention it. Read my profile....It is the most important thing in my life and I am upfront about it. If I scare them off...good. I'd rather scare them off then try to skirt around it. Don't you think he might want to know where I go for an hour 4 times a week.  It's not the grocery store! Again, I applaude your honesty!
Be gentle to yourself. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 6/25/2005 1:11:27 PM | | you are a little young but I thought maybe we could e-mail. I am also a recovering alchohalic. Been sober 15 yrs. Sometimes people act like it is contagous dont they!!!If you just want a friend write back | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 6/26/2005 12:45:04 PM | | Thanks Shiannm and havin fun Feel free to email me anytime about substance abuse problems A lot of people have helped me out and im here to help anyone when and if i can They say you cant keep what you have unless you give it back and i a truly grateful for the sobriety i do have and im more than willing to share how i did it and keep on doing it My sobriety is the most important thing in my life God bless you all out there Charlie | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 6/26/2005 1:01:23 PM | I was involved with a man who was a former coke abuser, and he told me about it within two weeks. He was not a rich guy, he didn't shower me with expensive gifts, and I loved him anyway ... I still love him. What broke us up? Another woman! He was a game playing, manipulating jerk. But can I expect the next man I'm involved with to be the same? No, because if I did, I may as well stop trying.
It's said that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince -- the same probably holds true for a princess. If I had a really bad attitude about it, I could think to myself, "Why try? Every man I become involved with turns out to be a jerk!" But I guess you can't have a negative attitude and honestly believe you're going to find someone. Magincia, if you think all women are after money, you're badly mistaken. I've dated men with money and realized that I didn't want to spend my life with them or their money, so I moved on. Money is nice, but it's not everything. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 6/26/2005 4:59:25 PM | | I agree about the money. It's only important if you don't have any. I think most women would like a man who has an income, but I don't think many expect it to be a huge income. Nowadays, most people are not expecting to support their partner. | |
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TOE
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Joined: 5/9/2005
Msg: 90 | |
| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 6/26/2005 5:22:07 PM | HELLO, GOOD FOR YOU. I LOVE TO DRINK. GREW UP WITH IT AND KNOW I TAKE IT TOO FAR. JUST RECENTLY BROKE WITH A MAN THAT ADMITTED HE WAS ALCOHOLIC FROM DAY ONE. THOUGHT I COULD HANDLE IT, BUT IT WAS GETTING TO CRAZY. I DRINK TO HAVE FUN AND SOCIALIZE, NOT TO JUST GET DRUNK.
SORRY FOR SPOUTING OFF, I SAY GOOD WORK AND KEEP AT IT.
CONTACT ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CHAT
TOE
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 6/28/2005 4:59:16 AM | ^^^^^^^^^^^
Hmmm , there was a time when I liked to drink as well, and knew I took it to far. Then, next thing I knew..... didnt want to anymore, and couldnt stop. Then..... went to my first meeting........and by the grace of God, havent had to pick up again since. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 7/15/2005 9:57:56 PM | | Hey me too Gary. I went to my first meeting, and never drank again. No sense being a rounder. One of them around the program and not in it. KCBIW | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 7/17/2005 8:13:13 PM | | Yeah, I'm honest when the topic of drinkin comes up. I tell them I am now sober and am planning on going to aa meetings. I don't feel I am an alcoholic, but in the past two years, I was drinking too much for my own good, and I had to quit due to liver problems (not liver probs due to alcoholism tho ). But I think it is good to be honest an let people know where you stand in life, that way they'll know not to pressure you to drink an stuff. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 7/17/2005 8:29:12 PM | | i feel comfortable telling people i am in aa. for example, at work i was talking to a 17 year old. well you should of seen the relief on his face when i said i go to aa. so does he. the look he gave me was priceless. and that same night a new co-worker over heard our conversation and i got a ride to a meeting tomorrow night with her. so for me it has benefits. as for the people that treat me like i got the plague because i am in aa.....well they are probably no good for me any ways. shy | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 7/17/2005 11:31:09 PM | | I as well feel comfortable telling people im a member of A.A. and a recovered alcoholic. In the past few years, ive retired from the tool and die trade, and have gone into so called working with the public. As a cashier for a supermarket! I love the job, the people I work with are great, and theres been quite a few of my customers as well ive broken my anonymity with after ive got to know them. A few of them have gone to A.A. meetings with me, and while none have chose to remain sober, they always tell me that they have never drank the same since they've gone to those meetings. Now, A.A. is in the back of there mind. Guess maybe I ws able to help them plant the seed, now its up to them if they want it to grow. And I agree as well with people treating you like you have the plague, as if thats the case, they might be people who would not be conducive to my sober way of life. Gary | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 7/18/2005 9:23:11 AM | | today at an emergency clinic i had to bring my daughter to i ran into a girl i was in a half way house with. she relapsed some time ago and nobody seen her since. we are a long way from the half way house and a long way from my home. she's not doing well at all. but once i said hello to her i could see her whells turning about how good she was feeling at one time. so there without even knowing it i think ive replanted the seed. i pray she makes it back. shy | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 7/18/2005 10:16:10 PM | Yeah, I tell folks right up front I am in AA. Your all around me anyhow. Your everywhere.
We can't go any place without an AA member there. Even if we don't know it, they are there. Bet your boots on it. We are never alone. KCBIW  | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 7/19/2005 10:19:56 AM | | back at ya chilawyer. As long as i do not drink, it's a good day. Plus I handle life on it's own terms now. KCBIW Carol..... | |
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