| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/7/2006 12:12:35 PM | I would say, NO. Sex is more than an "instictive" or "animalistic" act for ME (note that I say FOR ME).
I have to care deeply for the person before entering into the whole sexual aspect of our relationship... | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/7/2006 12:29:07 PM | So, if some men don't care to see her again, after the first date of sex......
Then what should we think about the men who do it on the first date?? | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/7/2006 12:55:12 PM | Since I was a young kid in the days of "free love", casual partners tended to be either disappointed in me or there was a special spark that had quickly developed. I think I understand now how I am sexually charged up by both an emotional and mental dimension that casual sex doesn't offer.
I am no prude and really have no issues with anyone who wants to go for the gusto ASAP. But the lack of something special has always been an issue for me. I feel at times like a would-be chef or gourmand watching people eating over the sink. Where's the pleasure in that? The likelihood that they really don't care is flat-out a turn off. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/7/2006 5:22:00 PM |
The worst is when you do it for one reason, and then expect a different result. So sad really....Interestingly... it seems that as MEN get older, they care less about having instant sex than when they were younger (relatively speaking, of course). Whereas, as WOMEN get older, they get more casual about sex than when they were younger.
I agree with Partner. A lot of people sleep with someone on the first date and then expect someone to respect them and want more? They already got it, so it's on to the next one to conquer. And that goes for both men AND women, especially as women get older. You know those cougars....
But I think if anyone is looking for a long term relationship, it's better to wait a while. It's a personal decision on how long is long enough, but I think there's a little more respect when you wait. It shows control. It shows respect for oneself. AND it shows you might have a few values and morals (oh, I know those are dirty words, ha ha). Plus, anyone ever hear of sexual tension? It works pretty well... | |
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seu
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Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 80 | |
| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/7/2006 8:38:16 PM | | i would find it i complete turnoff but i question if i would deny it lol, but seriously im really freaked by sexual health and if she was to do that id question how many times she had done it, so it would be a big no no in my books | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/8/2006 12:15:10 AM | | You don't think badly about people who do, eh? Well, neither do I, in theory! However, speaking from experience, this is a double edged sword! I do think people who find it immoral or wrong of a woman to do this, are forgetting one very important thing! It takes two people to have sex! Why is the woman the one who ends up being scorned for a decision that takes two people to make? Why is the woman made out to be the slut? It takes two to tango, boys! | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/8/2006 5:56:57 PM |
Why is the woman the one who ends up being scorned for a decision that takes two people to make? Why is the woman made out to be the slut? It takes two to tango, boys!
I believe this comes from good ole social conditioning, and probably from the Bible, as it makes women with any type of sexual desires made out to be whores (i.e., Jezebel, etc). I don't think there is anything wrong with a woman going after what she wants, IF all she wants is sex. Women have needs too and they shouldn't be made out to be sluts (unless they get paid for it, or sleep with everything that moves).
But I also think as I've said before (and others have too), that if a woman wants MORE (and a man), then it's probably just better to wait, build the relationship a bit before taking the plunge (literally). Just my opinion... | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/8/2006 6:03:41 PM | that if a woman wants MORE (and a man), then it's probably just better to wait, build the relationship a bit before taking the plunge (literally). Just my opinion...
Can you expand on this a little more? Can you explain the "why" it's better? Who needs tension. I've months and months of tension, and no one willing to help. 
Edit: And I may be need to see a dentist soon if this keeps up. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/8/2006 6:24:14 PM | MY FIRST DATE STORY:
well it was the most passionate sex of my life, wasnt the best but was memorable except for one thing....I FORGOT THE DIRTY WHORES NAME... i use this term as an endearing term for all women what i should of called her was a CHICKEN HEAD cause she gobbeld up the whole thing and i gave her some leftovers to take home with her, in her hair ...thanx again to u whoever u were i hope i never see u again!!!!! | |
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Argus
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Joined: 6/5/2006
Msg: 85 | |
| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/8/2006 9:07:50 PM | | To answer the actual question that was posted...I dont think that having sex on the first date with a woman defines her as a person, but rather is nothing more than a circumstance of a rather great evening between two individuals who had a great time together and felt a tremendous chemistry for one and other. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/8/2006 11:17:25 PM | My opinion on women that sleep with men on the first date?
They have no self-respect.
They're not long term potential.
They probably do it with other men on the first date.
"I wonder if I am going to get an STD?"
Bottom line, sex too soon in any relationship is bad mojo. Better to wait until your wedding night if you can. I'm not going to preach because I am guilty of that sin as well, but from my own experience, every time I have gotten physically involved too soon, it's been a train wreck.
My longest, most rewarding relationships came after knowing them for a good 2-3 months before getting intimate.... | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/8/2006 11:47:29 PM | Ho.
Next?
Blunt. Sorry.
Guys will blow sunshine up your Ass till the cows come home, but put it this way.....
q) What is the most sacred thing you have?
a) you.
q) Can I have some?
a) Sure....(walks to cash register)
q) How much will that be?
Are you getting it yet?
Sex is good. Sex is Fun. Sex with the right person is FREAKIN' AWSOME..
What price please?
Intimacy should never be for sale. Nor should children for sexual gratification.
Next to your immortal soul, the deep intimacy you can share with a partner is the second closest thing you will ever come to understanding joy.
Sell it, give it away, or don't. Masturbate, or don't. Never confuse them.
As a woman your intimacy is yours. Respect it, cherish it, and share it with your whole heart when your heart dictates. And hang the rest. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/9/2006 1:54:08 PM | | What about as a man? Is your intimacy yours? Are there different rules? | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 89 | |
| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/9/2006 1:59:32 PM | | ^^^ If single and she is doable ... most of us will put out | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/9/2006 2:16:03 PM | What about as a man? Is your intimacy yours? Are there different rules?
Rules are made to restrict. The only restrictions are the ones we give ourselves. Therefore, keep the rules simple. Not unnecessarily complicated. And keep the restrictions dictated by others to a minimum. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/10/2006 2:27:25 PM | So, if some men don't care to see her again, after the first date of sex......
Then what should we think about the men who do it on the first date then it means they didnt value women's feelings also.
I dont want to sound really easy but it all depends on the moment & in the mood of the date.... I know bec I had first date sex with this guy who I think i like bec he was adorable. cuddly & quite a Sweetheart.... He met all my friends and so on.... I am happy that he spent the time with me & enjoyed watching movies together in each other's arms which was nice.
I am looking forward to hanging out with him again and its all up to him to decide.... no pressure. I dont want to sound clingy if i kept calling him to hang out with me But I have enjoyed that night hanging out with him & wanting to see him again soon... but with our schedules I am not sure what will happen & how will manage to squeeze that in. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/10/2006 2:34:20 PM |
Then what should we think about the men who do it on the first date then it means they didnt value women's feelings also.
Tough call. Think what you want to think, but never polarize anything.
Look at it this way. What did you lose? What did you gain? | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/10/2006 3:08:05 PM | | not that i wouldn't love too... i have a bit more respect for her than to try to nail her on the first date. sex can have a big emotional effect on some, the worst thing you could do is leave an emotional scar on somebody just cause you wanted to get laid in a hurry -ruins them for the rest of the nice guys. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/10/2006 6:05:50 PM | | that is oh so true bec it happened to me once before when the guy denied everything that happened then later on admits few days later that he had a good time but.... it was rather overwhelming to say the least & that he is not the relationship type of guy & he made it sound rather blunt to say the least but I am over that now & I am back to dating other ppl again..... | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/10/2006 9:34:34 PM | | I think it really depends on the situation and the intention. If it's clear that it's a "booty call" from the start then have no expectations but if both of you are looking for a relationship and you two hit it off really well, it's not necessarily a bad thing. But that's only if you are both on the same page. If one of you isn't then you potentially have a situation where things are going to end up badly. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/10/2006 10:39:23 PM | | I want to raise a question. I normally would want to wait after a few dates, maybe 3 or more, if we know there's sexual tension and can't wait to explore. But what if there's no penetration (intercourse), just heavy pedding, passionate kissing, mutual masturbation, (no oral) will this constitute as sex? I am wondering....hmmm. | |
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ixi0n
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Joined: 6/30/2004
Msg: 97 | |
| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/10/2006 10:48:30 PM | | If I see that I can sleep with them on the first date, I usually don't call, or contact them in anyway. Yea, I'm a bit oldschool like that, where I like a woman who keeps herself for her husband. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/11/2006 2:10:30 AM | I want to raise a question. I normally would want to wait after a few dates, maybe 3 or more, if we know there's sexual tension and can't wait to explore. But what if there's no penetration (intercourse), just heavy pedding, passionate kissing, mutual masturbation, (no oral) will this constitute as sex? I am wondering....hmmm.
This is actually a good question. I'm repeating myself, but I don't care one way or another, if it happens, it happens, and I don't see anything "slutty" about it. I don't think it dictates anything. But SHE may care, and that's important to consider.
But, if she's willing to show me she has a sexual side, without actually "doing" anything, that's awesome. It makes me more patient. Actions speak louder than words. "Oh, yeah, I love sex. All the time." Just doesn't cut it. I'm one of those people that needs evidence. It turns into one of those "I believe you" situations.
It's like seeing the trailer to a movie. Just saying it's a good movie isn't really selling me. But give me an interesting trailer to watch, now I'm interested. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/11/2006 4:21:04 AM | | GREAT DO YOU KNOW ANY. IM ALWAYS LOOKING FOR SOME! | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/11/2006 5:49:24 AM | | in this day and age of AIDS,bad idea | |
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