| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/11/2006 10:07:02 AM |
Now guys....honestly, what is your opinion on girls who sleep with you on the first date?
Why do you assume we would allow this?
One I wouldn't and can say, although many have tried none have succeeded. I am just not that type of guy.
No, I don't think I am prude, ok a little maybe. Even when it I was with this lady and we knew it was going to be just a sexual relationship. (FWB). Still, didn't even do it on the first date.
Only once I was sorely tempted to sleep with a women on the first date. I held off, cause 'I' wanted more than that from her and I honestly don't think I would have put in much effort afterwards, if we did.
In my mind, if she would sleep with me on a first date, she would sleep with someone/anyone else. Could be a major turn off, depends.
If she got mad that I wouldn't on a first date? Tough!
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I like the rebuttels, 'how come it's ok for a man, but now that women do it...'
Tell me women, if it wasn't exceptable for men to do this to a women back then, why is it exceptable for a women to do it now?
Just because women joined in, it makes it ok now?
Personally, what ever you call the one, call the other, both are just as equally held accountable.
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IF your looking for a 'long term', and compared to 5, 10, 15, 40 years of being with someone, what is a day, week, etc in the long term scheme of things?
Everything is my opinion for me! Your life, views, values and mileage may vary. Peace be to you. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/11/2006 11:34:17 AM | Regarding what you asked, "…what is your opinion on girls who sleep with you on the first date?" -
Well…if she sleeps with me on our first date then (obviously) I am doing the same thing. Do you really need me to point out irony of the question to you?
This is a question that cries out for the word, "duh". 
Sorry guys but any man who applies such double-standards to a woman just for doing as he does on a date - or what he wants her to do - is not a real man yet but just an ignorant little boy who has no business having sex at his current stage of underdeveloped maturity.
cheers 
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/11/2006 12:05:47 PM | Post Script - Amazingly, guys on here are still saying things like "if she would sleep with me on a first date, she would sleep with someone/anyone else".
Consider the following -
Maybe she actually thinks that YOU would be faithful.
Maybe she should NOT think that you would be faithful.
Maybe you think that she should be allowed only one partner in her lifetime.
Maybe YOU should be allowed only one partner in your entire lifetime (have you reached your limit yet?).
Maybe you're too frightened about other men being in the world.
Maybe you don't think that you are worthy.
Maybe you should get a little more confidence and give her the same respect you would like to receive from her.
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/11/2006 12:46:33 PM |
Consider the following -
Maybe she actually thinks that YOU would be faithful.
Maybe she should NOT think that you would be faithful
This is moot, we are talking about sex on the first date. Have some control. Are they not able to control themselves for a short time? If they have no control, then I would have my doubts.
Maybe you think that she should be allowed only one partner in her lifetime.
Again, sex on the first date, not how many partners someone has. Your statement didn't make sense in this context.
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As for the rest this is in context with the first date. It doesn't change anything.
Let us put it this way, if they are seriously looking for a relationship based on more than 'just sex' do you think they would be willing to wait?
Can't wait past one date?!
Maybe even a few?
Maybe you should get a little more confidence and give her the same respect you would like to receive from her
Confidence! Respect!
So, your saying that sleeping with someone on the first date shows more confidence and respect for another person? /boggle
It may or may not work for you or whomever that is fine. Whichever you choose is your choice. You can't convince me there isn't more doubt in sleeping with someone on the first date than not. If people didn't have that doubt, this question would not come up.
How many people, after sleeping with someone on the first night are waiting for the 'next day' call to validate that it wasn't just a 'one night stand' or just thinking I was only used for sex ?
Does waiting to develop a relationship and actually spending time with them, lessen that feeling or increase it?
I don't see many post saying, 'if I wait a X amount of time' before having sex, will this make them think less of me?
It's more like, they won't wait for it so we better get busy right away. <- I guess by your standards this shows respect and confidence.
If your just after sex and/or willing to deal with the extra doubt from it (assuming you are looking for a comitted relationship), go for it.
Really, it can work either way, it can fail either way.
If you want to be more than a one night stand, then it would make sense that waiting awhile will make sure that doesn't happen. | |
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| Why is everyone, making a BIG DEAL About First Date Sex
Posted: 8/11/2006 2:49:28 PM | If the chemistry is there it doesnt make it bad that you explore your inhibition towards each other. If u are attracted & have this intense connection there is nothing wrong with that.
First date sex seems to me everyone has a different opinion about it. Its all depends on the moment & the people involved because it all depends. If u like someone that makes it even more intense -- kissing, fondling,cuddling, snuggling- that starts it all.
My opinion about this I am sure everyone wont agree with me..... I was in a date with this great guy, Sweet, Adorable, great sense of humor & we have a great time with each other's company. The intense compatibility between us made it easier between us to go a bit further but doesnt mean that it was a mistake or it was wrong what happen.
If two adult individual had this intense physical connection & you end up having first date sex its not wrong that it happen & something that u need to regret.... You are only human & the attraction between each other was there & you just cant help that it happen.
I dont know I used to be optimistic about this things but I am getting Older and I realize that there is no use crying over spilled milk as the saying goes. If you do end up having a first date sex it all depends on the moment & depends on the persons involved...
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| Why is everyone, making a BIG DEAL About First Date Sex
Posted: 8/11/2006 4:45:58 PM | thank you, eye4light.
Sorry guys but any man who applies such double-standards to a woman just for doing as he does on a date - or what he wants her to do - is not a real man yet but just an ignorant little boy who has no business having sex at his current stage of underdeveloped maturity.
this is what i was trying to say. there shouldn't be a double standard. but, there is. that's what i don't understand. "what's good for the goose, is good for the gander" should apply.
and, while all this discussion is probably good, i think it needs to be emphasised that this is a personal choice. whatever one chooses, just be prepared for the likely outcome. | |
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| Why is everyone, making a BIG DEAL About First Date Sex
Posted: 8/11/2006 5:00:31 PM | I agree with the earlier poster whose response was "And why do you think we would allow this to happen?" like this is some sort of set-in-stone natural law that all men expect sex on the first date... I'm not sure I'd kiss on a first date if there wasn't a definite "something" between us.
What kind of man would ask for sex on a first date and then judge the woman because she complied? That makes no sense. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/16/2006 1:48:54 PM | Constancy , regarding your response to my post –
1 –
The entry that you quoted from my list –
“Consider the following -
Maybe she actually thinks that YOU would be faithful.
Maybe she should NOT think that you would be faithful”
Your post –
“This is moot, we are talking about sex on the first date.”
This is NOT moot; it’s the SUBJECT of your statement. When you say, "if she would sleep with me on a first date, she would sleep with someone/anyone else", you are obviously saying that you fear that “she would sleep with someone/anyone else" (excuse the redundancy of using your exact words). No? Sounded pretty clear to me.
2 –
Yes, I included, “Maybe you think that she should be allowed only one partner in her lifetime” in the list. This is just one of the “maybes” listed and should be read in the context of the whole list.
Perhaps it was the next “maybe” on the list that made you uncomfortable – “Maybe YOU should be allowed only one partner in your entire lifetime (have you reached your limit yet?).” I don't know, just maybe.
By the way…we're talking about attitude here in case you didn't catch that.
3 –
My entry that you quoted –
“Maybe you should get a little more confidence and give her the same respect you would like to receive from her”
Your post -
‘Confidence! Respect!
So, your saying that sleeping with someone on the first date shows more confidence and respect for another person? /boggle’”…
Wow, this went right over your head, didn’t it! OK, I’ll try to explain it to you.
The answer to your question is “NO”. 
By having “more confidence”, I mean not being insecure and thinking she is going to just run off and have sex with someone else. Get to know who she is first. Don’t jump to blanket conclusions.
And by giving her “the same respect you would like to receive from her”, I mean that women should be judged by the same standards as men (equal respect, ya know). Again, give her a change to be understood before you draw that conclusion.
Parting thought -
Sometimes I feel like I’m in a time warp on these POF forums – it this really the 21st century? – when I see posting after posting of people making sweeping generalizations and applying double-standards to the opposite sex.
I absolutely agree that there is nothing wrong with going slow - in fact I think it is wise to go slow; I recommend going slow – but don’t be so harsh with women. One act of quick passion should not mark a woman (or man) for life.
Maybe mankind has not evolved as far as I thought.
Excuse me while I climb back up this monkey tree, eat fruit, and watch for Harpy Eagles.
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/16/2006 5:17:20 PM | Regarding the "endearing" post from 'ahhh...ya' -
"MY FIRST DATE STORY:
well it was the most passionate sex of my life, wasnt the best but was memorable except for one thing....I FORGOT THE DIRTY WHORES NAME... i use this term as an endearing term for all women what i should of called her was a CHICKEN HEAD cause she gobbeld up the whole thing and i gave her some leftovers to take home with her, in her hair ...thanx again to u whoever u were i hope i never see u again!!!!!"
Oh please don't think that this guy is typical of us men!
I can't believe he thinks that anyone would want to date him here...is he actually holding his d*** in that picture in his profile?
Do I expect too much by assuming that most guys actually like and respect women and want to be friends with them? Oh well. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/16/2006 8:10:03 PM | | If they try to have sex with me on the first date they are a slut pure and simple. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/19/2006 7:35:05 PM | Right on, eye4light. I love Aries because they are so opinionated and passionate about life! I don't think any of the gals on here think that stupid post from 'ahhh..ya' (my first date story) was anything but posted for shock value. Ooooh, big deal. I'm so shocked (yawn).
And I don't think all men are just looking for sex on a first date. We are all human and if there is some kind of hot chemistry that both can't resist, there is nothing wrong with having sex. BUT usually if you start on such a fast track, it's not meant to last. I think most people would agree on that one.
I like what you said, and there are some intelligent and good hearted men out there. Us women on here have to believe that! I, for one, am more into getting to know someone first before taking that next intimate step. Society tends to jade everyone into thinking sex is just a bodily function and it doesn't mean anything. That's too bad. People should respect their bodies more and use their sexual energy for more meaningful things. There is an innate power in sexuality...
Rock on.   | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/19/2006 9:49:33 PM |
Now guys....honestly, what is your opinion on girls who sleep with you on the first date?
My previous girlfriend and I did on our first date and we were together 7 years.
If I'm going to judge someone, it will be before I sleep with them. I base sluttiness on how many people someone has been with, not on how many dates before they sleep with someone.
Waiting till the third or forth date doesn't mean a thing if you're dating a new person every week. It funny how many people believe otherwise. Its like trying to cancel out the calories on your Double Big Mac happy meal by ordering a diet soda with it... | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/21/2006 1:13:10 AM | | do we even have to go on the date.. hell yes lets face it if it is going to happen lets go for it right away because you know if the sex is not great there will not be a next time {that goes for both sex's} so cut through the chase | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/21/2006 6:47:24 PM | Look, noone likes to admit to first date sex, especially if it turns out to be mediocre, right? So, keep the pact of keeping it to yourself, respect it, and you ever want to try it again, give eachother another shot, do it in total seclusion, without no-one knowing. Fake it if you have to (guy or girl), but try and laugh, get a little wine, or relax somehow. Try oral, anal, missionary, just experiment, but by all means, do not critisize with humor.
You sexperts think it' scut and dry, go back and read book or watcha video. Thngs stranger than a bad date have hapened...seriously. Watch a video on how to slave over a an orL sEX PROCEDURE, DUELING ORALS, AND HAVE FUN WITH IT. nO INTERRUPTIONS! yOU HERE. Just get a little buzzed, and get in some hard safe sex and make sure you moan and cuss alot.
Introduce a toy or two, plemty of KY. or warming jell...hve fun, and have NO PLANS set for the next day. Fact!
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/21/2006 7:32:20 PM | In my situation with the last guy I dated... WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE that i did bec he didnt tell me that he is still emotionally attached to his ex & that there is no chance that he would be involve with me bec of her....
I am devastated to the core that he slept with me without thinking the emotional effect of that bec he is not over his ex but he pursue me that doesnt make sense.... | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/21/2006 8:02:16 PM | | You should wait a long time before you have sex. 1 date? Three dates? No people. At least a month for crying out loud. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/21/2006 9:16:34 PM | | i know that u should wait but he was the one who pursue it to happen, we were laying on the couch watching a movie one thing led to another & it happen..... then after it did he disappear for weeks & was making excuses not to be around me & forgot to tell me one detail that he is so emotionally involved around his ex that after he told her about our date & about us having sex.. that she was threatened by me & she talked to him about what just happen & he had a change of heart after the talk he had with his ex...bec he is in a friends with benefit with his ex that he forgot to share that little detail with me.... | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/21/2006 11:40:23 PM | If a girl sleeps with me on the first date. She's not girlfriend material. She's just booty-call material at best. I lose all interest.
You gotta make us work for it.. otherwise you're telling us that you're not worth it. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/22/2006 7:31:05 PM | | well I am not a booty call sorry but I deserve more than that... the last guy that I dated pursue me & took advantage of me then went back with his ex its not my fault that he wasnt honest enough to admit that he is not ready to date other ppl.... So how can that be my fault? Now I decided not to date anyone for awhile after this one....bec Men like u assume that I am a booty call now... which im not... | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/22/2006 9:22:35 PM | | they are hoes that i wont get serious with. but i'll darn sure take them out a few more times. if they are that quick to throw it out i have a hard time trusting them. i never even try for it on the first date. but i wont say no if they do. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/23/2006 10:14:49 AM | Why is it that some guys can call girls "dirty, trashy etc" hey guys it takes two to tango. It's a two way street ! so why not state that all guys and girls are dirty and trashy if they are intimate with someone on the first date. I have found guys too quick to judge woman for this and never judge guys. I guess it's ok for them to sleep with a woman on the first date and it's trashy for a woman to sleep with a guy.
As far as the person that said emailing and chatting for weeks more than covers the 1st ,2nd and 3 rd date. I agree with that because sometimes distance is a issue and with all the communicating you can do over several weeks , two people can learn alot about eachother. It's no different than sitting and talking over lunch or coffee. After all if there is still interest after weeks of talking on the phone and emailing ,it's much more than just a physical attraction. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/23/2006 2:39:06 PM | omg, I can't believe some of the stuff I'm reading here!!! let me look at my calendar, is it 2006?? or is it 1906???
I see a lot of assumptions being made here. First of all, if a woman or man sleep with you on the first date that does NOT mean that they do that with everyone. It could.......but don't assume that with everyone.
I've been on lots of dates in the years that I've been divorced. And I rarely have sex on the first date. I can count on less than the fingers of one hand the number of times I've done that since I was 19 years old. But if I meet someone that I've been corresponding with for months via emails and on the phone and feel like I know him pretty well and we've definitely decided that we like each other and want to meet and when we do, the attraction is very strong and we both decide to have sex on the first date, I hope to GOD that he won't just assume that I do that with everyone and I won't assume the same about him.
We're adults, for pete's sake. And who gives any of you the right to judge anyone else because of what they do? I'm shocked and appalled and the self-righteous bigots I see here. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/23/2006 11:10:56 PM |
Now guys....honestly, what is your opinion on girls who sleep with you on the first date?
I don't have one, i never think of a girl who sleeps with me on a first date again. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/24/2006 1:24:13 AM | | Mobes you say you don't have an opionion of a girl who will sleep with you on the first date. It certainly didn't stop you from sleeping with her. So what does that make you??? trash too i guess. I bet she doesn't think of you either or she didn't think too much of your performance . HMMMM that doesn't say much about you either as a man does it . Oh hey I always heard too much drinking can have that affect. Gee every picture you have on your profile has alchole in site. Gee!!!!! I guess being single for 4 years really does say allot about you.Hmmmm is it a teenie weenie issue or is it that you just have this false image of yourself. I certainly wouldn't take a second glance of you.Heck I dont' make my second home a bar either. I really think you have a poor self esteem , usually those who inflate themselves are usually trying to fool themselves to make themselves feel better. | |
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| First Date Sex
Posted: 8/24/2006 3:22:19 AM | | OMG! When I read your post, I thought that came from a woman....when I saw you are a man, I nearly fainted! Way to go!!! A "real" man!! Wow!! Men think they are a "real" man if they can put notches on their belts...a "real" man is inside him, not hanging outside him!! That's what I mean too. Men are ok to sleep on the first date, women are trash! Go figure? I have heard from many men that there is a 3 date rule...if she doesn't give it up by the 3rd. date, drop her. I say to that...if you are only out for sex anyway...why wait that long? Just drop me on the first date! Butt head!! With guys, if you give it to um, you won't see um again, if you don't give it to um, you won't see um again...so, why not just keep my self respect and just say to hell with it!! I have been on a first date that I was so very drawn to the guy and he to me and we were so very turned on and had so much chemistry, but we both didn't want to ruin a good thang, so we both agreed to wait. So, I guess it depends on the two people. I could care less what others do or think. It's what I feel and how I feel about myself. I happen to have high self esteem and self respect, and will not allow anyone to use me. I demand more from a man than that. Even the guy who is "clicking" so well with me...all the more reason to say no. That's not to say if you give it up on the first or any date that you have low self esteem, it just means, what ever you feel is right for you at that moment is YOUR business, not anyone elses and he shouldn't think any less of you since you aren't thinking any less of him! I know this sorta' sounds like I'm contridicting myself here, but I'm just saying respect yourself, demand respect, but whatever you choose to do is your business and no one else should judge you unless they've walked a mile in your shoes!! Truth be known, they might have done the same thing!! | |
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