| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 4:29:23 AM | | Sometimes even if you are told you have to see it for yourselfto actually believe it, expecially when you reallycare about the person. I was told and I knew, but I stayed with the guy until it got bad. He started believing that he could do whatever the hell he wanted when he wanted and which position. Thats when I knew and kicked him to the curb. His loss. | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 4:48:07 AM | | Definitely. There is nothing worse than going around without having all the information that pertains to me. And if these "others" who know are people who call themselves my friend, then they owe me the truth- to keep mum is a betrayal. This happened to me once, and the people I called "friends" who didn't tell me hurt me almost as much as the infidelity did. | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 9:02:50 AM | Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Very interesting post sinsrus How very profound of you to point out the obvious. You see, ALOT of people are cowards. They would rather choose the deceitful, hurtful path than be honest with their SO. It is called COWARDICE. It goes hand in hand with FEAR. I do appreciate hearing from those who would not want to know if their SO was being deceitful.
What you have said is one of the biggest crocks of bull I have ever had the pleasure to hear.
Now please bless me with how you feel people should know before it happens oh wise one. Please do me the favour of trying to be civil. Some posters just shoot out with venom and have the debate skills of children.
I wish to clarify something too. When I say OTHERS, I mean ANYONE with information regarding a deceitful spouse/SO Friend or foe or otherwise. | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 9:07:26 AM | If ANYONE knew that I was being cheated on by my SO I would want to know immediately - has happened to me once and unfortunately it was someone very close to me that ALSO got hurt because my SO was cheating on me.
Did others who knew me know?
I am not sure, but, yes I have the feeling some did know.
From my OWN experience - the longer it is hidden and left to fester and ferment the worse it is for all involved.
To me, if anyone cares for you as an individual they WILL let you know what is happening behind your back?
IMHO
If you need to be told that your significant other cheating, you have problem in your marriage. You should know it before it actually happens if that''s real cheating.
ROFL - YOU have a lot to learn about life and the deception of people - cheaters are often (but not saying always) the finest of deceivers and liars on the face of this earth and are often (again not in ALL circumstances ) too weak to admit and face up to their problems until it''s too late.
Is it ALWAYS the person''s fault in a marriage that is being cheated on? No, not always, although admittedly it takes 2 to tango. | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 9:13:32 AM | MOST DEFINATELY would want to be informed! Even though I'd probably already have a intuitive heads-up that something isn't quite right, I'd like to have it confirmed. I would much rather be hurt by the TRUTH initially, then by a LIE later. Then, it is up to me to consider the source etc. and decide where my SO would stand with me then....  Most definately, Kicked to the curb! | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 9:14:35 AM | | Well said nuthafish. I applaud you sir. This has got to be one of the most common and DIFFICULT decisions ANYONE would ever have to make. I applaud anyone with the decency and heart to do just this difficult task. Regardless of the repercussions. How sad it must be to live in such a state of denial. The hurt will hurt regardless. I feel it would hurt all the more KNOWING others knew and CHOSE to remain silent. | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 9:19:52 AM | | I think that it is soooo very sad when someone is being cheated on and they really don''t want to know or at least give the impression that they don''t want to know. It tells me that something other than intimacy, love and trust is more important...fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of starting over, fear of being alone, fear of losing all the trappings of the marriage. Thank God, I am fearless! | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 9:30:44 AM | | I would definitely want to be told,,,BUT,,,only if they had the cold hard proof! If one of my gf's were to say 'Trace i think 'X' is cheating on you'...but didnt have any proof to back that up,,id be suspicious of him and constantly worrying and looking for clues and probably starting fights and arguements. But for sure,,,if they knew for fact that a S.O was cheating.,,,,,damn straight id wanna know. | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 9:31:46 AM | | If my S/O was cheating and could be verified through other sources, then yes, I would want to know. As anyone who has read many of my posts knows, I am a staunch advocate for moral justice. I do believe there needs to be some sort of solid proof (caller id, emails, eye witnesses who have no vested interest in lying, pics, credit card receipts,cell phone logs) available before accusations of cheating are valid. | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 5:04:30 PM | Let me see if I can answer this question with a history lesson from my past.
A former BF and I were seeing each other for about 6 months. He has a son by a previous GF, so obviously there is going to be contact between them.
Shortly after we began dating exclusively (yes it was discussed) on the day after Valintines day, she follows me to my place of work, and seeing the flowers and balloons in the seat beside me, proceeds to attempt to convince me that these were HER gifts to HIM, and that they had agreed to work things out, was I aware of this? She began interrogating me as to the depth and bredth of my relationship with him etc. I finally told her I have a business I need to open for the day and to please just leave now.
Her follow up to this event was to call and harrass him to the point where she was threatening suicide, frightening her older children from a previous marriage, to the point where she ended up in a psych ward for a 72 hour hold.
So everything was going along fine for a few months when out of the blue, I began to recieve text messages to my cell stating that he and she were back together in some way shape or form. He said he'd put a stop to it, and they did stop for a week or so. Then he ended up working away from town (construction business) and not being at his home much but to make a fast in and out to grab tools and what-not, and I'd see him on the weekend. Two weeks of his out of town work and I get another text message, staing that he and the ex were back together again and this time it was addaed that she was now living at his place. Well, I asked him about this, and he said it was news to him....laughed and we put it off again to her history of psychotic behavior.
Then he tells me his truck broke down and it was over at a local shop being repaired, but lucky for him his brother (also in construction) was working in the same area and was able to get him back and forth to his job site. .....continued...... | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 5:11:52 PM | My daughter had a party to attend this same afternoon, and we happened to drive past the brothers house, and there was the brother's truck in the driveway. It had been just 20 minutes earlier when my BF said he was waiting for his brother to finish work to pick him up to take him to his place to get some tools.
Hmmmm So....after dropping my daughter off, I decide to take a swing over to the BF's place, and low and behold, the ex, car was indeed in the driveway, the garage was open. Doors were ajar and his son riding his battery motorcycle in the yard.
Not only was I told that he was cheating on me, but by the woman he was cheating WITH!
Needless to say, I left a message on his voice mail letting him know he was busted what I found out, and how, and I've never heard from him since. Not a peep. Afterall, what can he say? | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 5:17:41 PM | | yes I would want to know - but just because someone told me doesn't mean I would take their word for it (nor does it mean he is actually cheating) - I would confront him and give him a chance to explain himself. From there only time would tell what direction (if any) the relationship would take. | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 5:29:34 PM | | YES, YES, YES!!!!! My ex-common-law was cheating on me and everyone else knew and I was almost more hurt by the deceit of my so-called friends than by the deceit of my ex as I had already had my suspicions. The fact is it would have saved me a lot of heartache and pain of trying to salvage a relationship that wasn't worth saving. I also felt extremely stupid that everyone knew and I felt that after all that time the joke was on me. I was still sleeping with him and I had another baby with him during this very rocky year and although I love my baby and would never wish her away I feel like I wasted many more years than was necessary with him. | |
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