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| Why do men stare at womens boobs & think we don't notice ???
Posted: 3/8/2008 7:14:11 AM | Boy, I feel bad for you women who get stared at. Really I do.
I just can't relate since I don't have much for anyone to look at.
When a man talks to me I know he's talking to me, the only problem is, they don't talk to me.  
And this thread has been going for 20 months now? Incredible. | |
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| Why do men stare at womens boobs & think we don't notice ???
Posted: 3/8/2008 7:18:36 AM | i never really thought staring at a woman was a problem. until....
some female friends dragged me to a gay bar in halifax (ya 60/40 ratio my a...) and guys were staring at me! then they say, 'now u know how we feel' | |
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| Why do men stare at womens boobs & think we don't notice ???
Posted: 3/8/2008 8:35:10 AM | ^^^TallAndDark....
Thank you for that.... And, I hope he does have some daughters!
I agree with you, but I think that it is a two-fold problem.
The whole harassment part of it comes when it continues after having it be known that the behavior is unacceptable, and the work environment is hostile because of it.
I believe most of this can be avoided when it is nipped in the bud by the person in question.
Women (and some men) need to have the tools to speak up effectively for themselves when it does happen in the workplace, or otherwise. We can't leave it to others to defend our right to everyday respect. We, ourselves, have to be able to establish boundaries, and hold them.
I am not speaking of physical force, I am talking about reacting to an initial comment and/or behavior with calm, clear, simple, straight-forward phrases and body language including appropriate eye-contact to which the other can relate positively. (Conversely, screaming, and/or other seemingly irrational behavior tends to diminish one's respectability, and should be avoided.)
Continue to behave worthy of respect, and you will, more often than not, get it.
I left a few "tools" on a ^^^previous post ^^^(pg. 13) if anyone needs somewhere to start.
Then, there are always those who just won't learn --that is when you should get others involved. Laws are about community standards. They are based on the belief that some need to have boundaries defined for them to do the right thing according to those standards, and the American working community says "NO."
Good Luck!
Please return here and tell us what you did to fix your particular situation. We can all use more tools in our own respective toolbox.
*note: You don't even have to be the victim, just a witness to continued inappropriate behavior that the business hasn't taken appropriate steps to curtail, up to and including firing the perpetrator, for it to be considered sexual harassment in the workplace.
Now, if we can only get pay equity up from 77%! Check it out for yourselves. Learning is fun! | |
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| Why do men stare at womens boobs & think we don't notice ???
Posted: 3/8/2008 1:19:12 PM | I really try to look up at a ladies face .. REALLY I DO !! and usually I look into her eyes.. BUT sometimes MAN it's hard.. you ladies are so ummm ( what's the work I'm looking for ) OH YEA ravishingly beautiful I can't help but steal a peaky-poo... It's not my fault.. IT'S you ladies.... man I love women KISSES ALL ROUND     | |
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| Men stare at MY boobs & I LOVE IT!!!
Posted: 3/8/2008 1:44:56 PM | This thread is so ridiculous! 16 pages on this feminazi crap!
I WANT MEN TO STARE AT MY BREASTS! THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL!
Guys, if you're dating a girl who is so insecure with her intellect that she falls into being politically correct to prove how intellectual she is, and therefore, she can't appreciate why you WANT to look at her, consider dating me.
I'm reactionary, and I love being a girl! Where is my caveman who will do ALOT more than just stare at my "boobs"?!?
And yes, I have all the degrees and everything. But I'm still human despite them! | |
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| I love men staring at my breasts!
Posted: 3/8/2008 1:48:24 PM | And I forgot: I know lots of single women who complain about men who don't pursue them. Well, of course they don't! Men are tired of being accused of being "harassers" and "stalkers."
Women, quit poisoning your own well -- and mine, too! | |
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| Men stare at MY boobs & I LOVE IT!!!
Posted: 3/8/2008 2:06:19 PM |
Guys, if you're dating a girl who is so insecure with her intellect that she falls into being politically correct to prove how intellectual she is, and therefore, she can't appreciate why you WANT to look at her, consider dating me.
.
WOW where were you a couple years ago when I was in Acworth. LOL.
Reacionary email me maybe next time I am down in GA maybe we can get together sometime if we are both still on in the available dating pool. Feel free to email me if you like. | |
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| Why do men stare at womens boobs & think we don't notice ???
Posted: 3/8/2008 2:08:20 PM | I'm for what she said:
Boy, I feel bad for you women who get stared at. Really I do.
I just can't relate since I don't have much for anyone to look at.
When a man talks to me I know he's talking to me, the only problem is, they don't talk to me.
And this thread has been going for 20 months now? Incredible.
But it is not the same since she's not supposed to be GAY.
It's a Gay Bar. You're not gay:
some female friends dragged me to a gay bar in halifax (ya 60/40 ratio my a...) and guys were staring at me! then they say, 'now u know how we feel' | |
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| Why do men stare at womens boobs & think we don't notice ???
Posted: 3/9/2008 5:59:17 AM | | Tallanddark: Screaming and being rude isn't going to make a guy who stares at women too much suddenly have as an epiphany and change his ways. It may make them angry. The reason men do it in the first place is becuase of instinct. It's just that some men have the capability to ignore the urge and some obviously do not. I don't think it means someone is "disgusting" just because they notice someone in a sexual way and are too obvious about it. Everyone does it. Some are just more polite about it. What's going on inside everyone's mind is the same at the time and I find a lot of these statements very hypocritical. If I did have daughters, I wouldn't care about staring because it's going to happen. Daughters get stared at. Daughters have boyfriends. Daughters have sex. Daughters get married. These are facts of life and frankly when fathers seem to get crazy and jealous because these life events happen, I find it really creepy. Seems like the father is a little TOO close to the daughter in the wrong kind of way. You should protect your kids if there's danger and keep an eye out, but getting so irate over day to day physical interaction that's bound to happen is a red flag if you ask me. | |
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| Why do men stare at womens boobs & think we don't notice ???
Posted: 3/9/2008 6:59:27 AM | cw35
yum: First of all, you were the one who didn't clarify when and exactly why you told your daughters to act looney in public. Second of all you never stated their age (You're probably waiting for me to say something else out of context to drop that piece of info). Third, unless someone is assaulting, approaching or attacking them who cares how someone looks at someone else (unless they're obviously children)? I'm sure if they're older and attractive, it happens a lot. It's human nature. That's hardly a reason to make someone else feel horrible and insinuate they're "disgusting" just because they noticed someone who may be very sexually attractive. Seems over the top to me and if the person really is a pervert or sexual predator it will probably anger them and could make the situation a lot more dangerous, which doesn't seem very smart to me.
Being offended and letting someone know you are is not being loony. I'll tell you what, you send me some photos of your hot daughter, niece, wife even, looking their best so I can perv on them a while. Not a nice thought is it? No matter what age they are. As far as sexual predators go screaming, and drawing attention to the situation is one of the best things a woman can do, except in extreme life threatening situations where nobody is around to help.
The topic was and is what to do about about unwanted attention, not how I raise my children. If you have a suggestion for the woman by all means add it. I have no heartburn's about reporting a troll. | |
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| Men stare at MY boobs & I LOVE IT!!!
Posted: 3/9/2008 11:52:04 AM | Reactionary gets a cookie.
Actually, I sometimes just plain say "Sorry, can we talk later ? I'm busy looking at your boobs." Contrary to the feminazi PC drivel we're supposed to believe, I have yet to find a woman who says she's disgusted by my comments. I don't just go up to any woman I see and say these things of course : I'm only saying this sort of thing to women I know and who aren't likely to make a fuss about it. On the other hand, why lie in the first place ?
Women these days are somewhat starved of this kind of attention I believe. Nowadays a man is afraid to say pretty much anything that might get him locked up for the night so he doesn't say anything at all. It's flattery and frankly, I don't believe for a second that women don't have the same sexual impulses as men do. They may have different motivations underlying said impulses but they're still there. Pretty eyes or nice rack....same difference when it comes to flattery. It's still a positive comment on your body.
I can certainly understand that not all attention is wanted even if it's positive. Still, nobody can read minds and even though we're all supposed to believe that a comment about a woman's juggulars is offensive to her, I think most women appreciate the flattery even if they have reservations about expressing it. It's a fine line.
Now, I realize that to the die-hard wanna-be-a-victim crowd, I'm a low-down dirty such and such. Oh well for you actually. If you think I'm stupid because I enjoy looking at your tits then that's your first mistake. If you want us all to conform to your beliefs then get ready for a lifetime of disappointment ; you can't rewire the human brain with a few choice words. We're gonna look. Sometimes you'll catch us and sometimes you won't. Some of you will enjoy the flattery, others will take a less healthy view of it.
Men : It's okay to look at her boobies. It is. Some women even LIKE IT when you do. Try not to drool though. | |
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| Men stare at MY boobs & I LOVE IT!!!
Posted: 3/9/2008 12:25:20 PM | To gotta pulse.. Oh alright then, if you really think its okay to say these sorts of things to women, why restrict it to the fawning, giggling empty head bimbo's that dont mind your stupid comments? Why DONT you go up to any woman and just blatantly stare at their chests, if you really think its ok.?
Why not? Could it be that you instinctively know that some women will put up with your crap, and some wont? Look, you can look, take a glance, no one can stop you, but if you drool, or comment, or in any other way make a woman feel that you are making her into a sexual object to be leered at, then you CAN be pulled up for that. I wouldnt let you stare at my chest, or say some stupid assed comment, without pulling you up for it.. I'd make sure everyone around knew what you were doing.. and please dont encourage men to stare,.. you cant possibly know what it feels like to feel a mans eyes boring into you,.. it can feel quite intimidating, as well as insulting.. just have some class, and some manners, and dont bloody stare, man. Miss Eyre. | |
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| Men stare at MY boobs & I LOVE IT!!!
Posted: 3/9/2008 12:52:16 PM | ^Ha ha ha !
See, that's EXACTLY the kind of "Wanna-be-a-victim" stuff I was referring to. You do want to be a victim , admit it. You want to take my statement, add a few possibilities into it so that it suits your agenda and then make me out to be a monster.
Think your dad never looked at a woman's boobies ? Your brother ? You think we don't know you've looked at us and our physical features the same way ? Oh wait...let me guess : You believe in the Great She Spirit and the idea that all women would be better off if only men thought just like women ? We just don't understand your mystical and intuitive insight that could only be understood by a woman ? Men are all oppressors by nature and only your cosmic guidance can lead the world to peace through worship of the Goddess ? Sound about right ?
Get over yourself. That self-righteous crap was everywhere in the '90's....you'd have loved it. You think your soap-box rantings are going to change the way the human brain is wired ?
Try and force people to think what you want them to . Go ahead. It's an uphill battle and you're going to find yourself surprised by how few people actually support you. | |
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| Men stare at MY boobs & I LOVE IT!!!
Posted: 3/9/2008 1:14:53 PM | Well, excuse me Gottapulse,.. few people will support me? Ermm,.. I dont recall saying I'm running for office, therefore I dont need support, or votes,.. but, if you feel YOU need support, or an army,.. I'm sure a few of the more militant menemists will get 'right behind you'.. all the way, no doubt...
As for being a victim, no, I just dont like men who stare at my chest, or make jack ass comments Okay? Especially as I dont put my chest on display for attention, so I could never be accused of 'baiting' men into staring and then shouting from the roof tops,.. but you know very well that there are idiots who will stare, and comment, with no provocation whatsoever, because they think its their RIGHT to do so. The last time a jack ass came up to me and did that,.. I swiped him across the face, because if someone p**** me off, and insults me,.. I dont cry victim,.. I retaliate,.. I dont put up with crap from men who think its their God given right to stare at me and make lewd sexual comments about my body when I'm just going about my business. You insult me, I swipe you,.. how d'ye like them apples? Miss Eyre. | |
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| Men stare at MY boobs & I LOVE IT!!!
Posted: 3/9/2008 1:41:21 PM | Yeah , yeah, whatever.
Actually, I didn't insult you. You decided to take exception to my comments and instigated this particular row. In other words, hey, don't blame me that you want to be a victim in spite of a lack of victimization.
You think I think it's my right to stare at your chest ? See, that's you superimposing your own beliefs onto others. Since when did anybody consider where they looked to be a matter or rights ? It's most definitely my right to look at your chest. And you have the right to look at pictures of naked people having sex if you want. It's NOT my right to insult you but there's also no law specifically tailored to deny me the opportunity. There are harassment policies in place at most companies but again, that's in the private domain. Either way, it has nothing to do with rights per se. I'll look if I damned-well want to. I will probably do my best to make sure you don't notice me doing it but if you do, oh well. I'm not in contravention of any laws anyway but more importantly , it's simply commonly understood that it's rude to stare because of the insecurities such behaviour brings out in others.
Nevertheless, the context clues of your above message indicate that I've got you pegged. Anyway, for that reason specifically, I find my stated opinion on this topic further re-inforced. I'll look and I'll like it. Even if I could change the fact that I appreciate the female form , I won't ever apologize for it. Sorry that you don't like male attention but frankly, that's just not my problem. What you should be arguing for isn't for men to stop looking at your chest but for them to curtail their obvious enjoyment of such an activity. Good luck with that.
Besides, as you said, it's just your opinion that matters here so that tells me everything I need to know about you . As you said, you don't need anybody's support and since you're arguing based on that rationale, that necessarily precludes the factoring in of opinions other than your own. | |
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| Ugg goes to the office
Posted: 3/9/2008 1:42:24 PM | Gotapulse:
You think your soap-box rantings are going to change the way the human brain is wired ?
So, according to you, men look at women's breasts under all situations and circumstances because they are completely controlled by primitive urges and cannot govern themselves to behave any differently than a caveman would?
This is clearly incorrect. Men have evolved somewhat from the days of caves and hunting woolly mammoths. Perhaps some more than others, but nevertheless, humans have evolved. Our world has changed. It is not, and possibly never was appropriate or wise to be completely governed by your most primitive emotions. Men who cannot control their temper or their sexual urges or their bladders are regarded as dysfunctional in today's society.
It *is* inappropriate to relate sexually to co-workers and customers and your boss and everyone else at work when you are supposed to be behaving like an evolved professional with a job to do and this is what the thread was about. It was not about the behaviour that is acceptable within your chosen social circle/group.
Governing your primitive instincts is not a matter of rewiring your brain, it is a matter of using those parts responsible for thought more advanced than our caveman ancestors. The pre-frontal cortex is the region of the brain that is responsible for enabling us to learn to delay instant self-gratification and to instead develop social skills. This is the last part of the brain to develop so we must forgive teenagers if they aren't so good at behaving appropriately, but modern-day adults should be able to use this part of their brain to behave in a manner that befits a slightly more evolved being than the caveman. No rewiring required: just making sensible use of what you have. After all, surely you would not choose to offend people intentionally and unnecessarily, once you were aware of behaviour that others found offensive. Or perhaps you would -- but unravelling why this might be probably involves identifying more under-used areas of the brain in question.
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| Men stare at MY boobs & I LOVE IT!!!
Posted: 3/9/2008 1:54:54 PM | To gottapulse,..
Its apparent that you believe that an individual opinion isnt valid, unless it has support,.. you, Sir, were the one who made a deal about me having support for my views, this is a Forum, not a popularity contest, I was merely affirming that I dont need a band of supporters to make me feel justified in my personal opinion. if you do, then that is YOUR problem.
If you believe you have me pegged as some sort of militant femninazi, ha! then that is merely your perception,.. and if you assert that it is your RIGHT to look at womens chests, and be defiant about it,.. regardless of wether that woman wants you to or not, then you will find that some women will take a stance against your obnoxious behaviour and attitude.
There are situations, for example, the workplace, which is the subject of this thread,where you CANT stare and make comments, as you well know,.. and if you disregard basic manners, then you Sir, will be 'pegged' as a pig.
As for having anyone 'pegged' I would say your line to Reactionary about giving her a cookie,.. tells me that you're a patronising,.. chauvinistic reactionary man.. my perception? perhaps.. but I tend to 'peg' correctly. Miss Eyre. | |
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Reactionary thanks for finally someone on the guys side.