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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/15/2009 6:42:03 PM | Peronally, I have never gone to a bar to meet someone. If I go, it's for the dancing , to be with my friends and have a night out. If there happens to be a nice guy that asks me to dance , I wouldn't say no , but unfortunately most guys are too timid to ask a woman to dance and so us girls usually end up dancing alone.
Just stay away from the pick up lines...we don't like it...but if the woman likes you, she will dance with you and take it from there...if she really likes you , she'll chat with you the rest of the evening....if she says thank you for the dance....she's trying to tell you she enjoyed the dance, but isn't interested. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/16/2009 11:34:30 AM |
If I go, it's for the dancing , to be with my friends and have a night out. If there happens to be a nice guy ...
If I go to a bar, its because I want to hear a specific band play. If I'm approached by a guy, at least I know we have the same good taste in music -lol | |
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meloff
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Joined: 8/8/2009
Msg: 179 | |
| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/17/2009 1:43:08 AM | Go in groups,Invite some (girl friends) to the bar with u seems like everyone is more relaxed that way.(more receptive) Although I've not been to the bar lately I was kinda watching the last time I went.It was a birthday party all the girls seemed happy.
If that don't work just go up to every girl in the bar til u get a yes.(that works sometimes) | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/17/2009 4:40:05 PM | | I'm not a big bar person...so a lot of the people in bars like the bar life...so not what i want....so when i do go, mainly it's for the music | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/17/2009 7:23:42 PM | | Ok... why does everyone seem to overgeneralize the bar scene? "Don't expect to find a nice girl/guy in a bar" "those aren't the type of people you wanna have a relatinship with" "guys in bars are just looking for a quick lay"... um... really? Do you people go to the same bars I go to? I go out to bars with my friends almost every weekend. My friends are all extraordinarily nice people. Total sweethearts. The guys and the girls... and I meet other incredibly nice people in bars all the time. People who go to church, have steady jobs, go to school and aren't sluts/pimps. There's nothing wrong with approaching someone you think is attractive in a bar... at all. It could be the nicest person you'll ever meet. Nice, wholesoe people wanna relax with their friends at the end of the week and have a few drinks too. There's so much bar scene bashing on this site... and sure there are negative things... but its just easier to notice te loud obnoxious creeps because they're loud and obnoxious... the scene as a whole does not reflect this. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/18/2009 6:40:10 AM | The last time I went to a bar, I saw this woman bent over and about to strike the cue ball with her cue stick. So, i grabbed a nearby cue stick and swung the cues stick back firmly with both hands, then thrust it forward and nailed her ass with it.
In all seriousness, I didn't do that. I typically wouldn't approach anyone at a bar. Why? Because you don't go to a bar by yourself!!!!! You go to a bar with a specific agenda-hang out with people you're going with or meeting up with and have fun, not to troll the damn bar and hope your best pick-up lines are going to reel in a woman who wouldn't be remotely interested in you had she not been drinking.
OP, you say you don't try to sound like a sleazy pick-up artist, however approaching a woman at a bar would suggest otherwise. Typically you're there to pick her up, not ask her how her yoga class went. You don't have to use pick-up lines to give the impression that you're assuming the role of a pick-up artist. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/18/2009 2:30:43 PM | Old OP but here goes:
I've been playing live music for 25+ years at bars and clubs and I've seen it all.
Here are a few observations:
Generally (there are always a few exceptions - good luck!),
1. Unattached men are there to pick up women.
2. Unattached women are there to dance and drink for free.
3. Men and woman approach one another only if they are attracted to them.
4. Women rarely approach men.
5. Woman will accept a free drink from any clueless chump regardless of attraction, and then ditch him at the first opportunity because of #2.
6. Women sometimes dance with men who ask them, even if they are not attracted to them because of #2.
7. Men are clueless chumps about all of this.
8. Dance clubs are lousy places to find a serious relationship prospect.
9. Women love musicians, and buy THEM drinks! Thanks ladies! 
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/18/2009 2:53:23 PM |
Old OP but here goes:
I've been playing live music for 25+ years at bars and clubs and I've seen it all.
Here are a few observations:
Generally (there are always a few exceptions - good luck!),
1. Unattached men are there to pick up women.
2. Unattached women are there to dance and drink for free.
3. Men and woman approach one another only if they are attracted to them.
4. Women rarely approach men.
5. Woman will accept a free drink from any clueless chump regardless of attraction, and then ditch him at the first opportunity because of #2.
6. Women sometimes dance with men who ask them, even if they are not attracted to them because of #2.
7. Men are clueless chumps about all of this.
8. Dance clubs are lousy places to find a serious relationship prospect.
9. Women love musicians, and buy THEM drinks! Thanks ladies!
Pretty good, pretty good, but I'd make a few minor changes.
1. Unattached men are there to pickup women, most attached men are thinking about it.
2. Unattached women are there to dance, drink, and hang out with friends. If they can drink for free, so much the better. They are also generally eternal optimists hoping to meet a nice handsome charming guy who wants more than to just get in her pants.
3. Agreed
4. Agreed
5. Agreed
6. Agreed
7. Almost all men are clueless chumps about all of this.
8. I'm going to quibble on this one. In my experience, everyone makes it to the bar or club at some point. A friend is getting married, it's someone's birthday, someone is moving to the other side of the country. Then, the ones that don't habitually inhabit the clubs are generally pretty open to a normal conversation. So, while I wouldn't say it's the BEST place to troll for a serious relationship, it is a place where lots of people gather to be social.
9. Damned groupies - muttermuttermutter  | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/18/2009 4:03:02 PM | 9. Women love musicians, and buy THEM drinks! Thanks ladies!
I too also thank them.......
And don't forget....the white zone is for loading and unloading only.....if you gotta load....or ya gotta unload.....go to the white zone..... you'll love it.....it's a way of life....... 
Zappa ROCKS!! | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/18/2009 4:34:43 PM | It really depends on why the woman is there in the first place.
For example - I used to go to a local hotel to catch up with an old friend. We were both married and not there to chat to guys.
If a guy approached me I would be flattered but let him know I wasn't available. Not that it ever happened.
So just take a chance and see what happens. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/18/2009 4:57:15 PM |
And don't forget....the white zone is for loading and unloading only.....if you gotta load....or ya gotta unload.....go to the white zone..... you'll love it.....it's a way of life.......
Zappa ROCKS!!
OMG haven't listened to Zappa and years...hello Pandora!
I meet my girlfriends every Friday night at the same bar. We've all been going to the same bar for years and have made good female friends there as well as some nice male aquaitences. I don't accept drinks from men I'm not interested in, that's just wrong. I also don't expect to meet the man of my dreams there either. The guys that cruise the bar looking to pick up women are obvious and easily brushed aside. | |
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meloff
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Joined: 8/8/2009
Msg: 189 | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/19/2009 3:34:20 AM | | Women don't approach Men because why should they when they can avoid rejection? | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/19/2009 6:53:57 PM | | I would say I am sort of a bar expert...hmmm...that sounds bad, but it's what me and my girlfriends do. The point of being there is to meet friends, drink, dance, listen to good music. If a guy I'm not feeling approaches me, I will be polite, lie and say I have a boyfriend and try to get away asap. If I am feeling him, I will let him buy me a drink, chat me up etc. However, the bar scene is fake. We are all so being fake. Dressed to impress, on your best behavior, drinks flowing. Fakeness. I go to have fun. Nothing more. I go home alone every time. Nothing more. Trust me, women DO want to be approached. Just go up to them and say, "Hi, I noticed you from over there. My name is...." | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/20/2009 3:03:15 AM | | I am not scared to approach a woman, it's just knowing what to say, breaking the ice and starting a conversation is the hardest part. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/20/2009 10:08:51 AM | The only way you will succeed in a bar is if you are gorgeous, or you have a great personality and are polite yet persistent.
Check out the failures of the contestants on VH1's " The Pick Up Artist " and you will note that the bar scene is a game, and even the PUA's fail.
Be yourself no matter where you go, eventually you will find a medium that you will attract women who want what you have to offer, as opposed to playing games in a bar to score. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/20/2009 5:48:28 PM | | Depends on the bar, doesn't it? Drinking establishments vary widely in the type of clientele they attract. Hard to generalize, I'd say. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/21/2009 12:19:42 PM | Everybody fails. That's how you grow and get better. The difference between a winner and a loser is that a winner views failure as a learning experience. He looks at what he did wrong and makes sure not to make the same mistake next time. A loser simply quits, sulks, and feels sorry for himself.
Life is a numbers game. The more shots you take, the more shots you make. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/21/2009 1:01:17 PM | | My problem is that I am unable to tell what I did wrong after I got rejected, I don't know if it was something I said or the way I was standing, or if I was just not her type. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/21/2009 3:53:57 PM | It is the oldest cliche, but confidence is what will get you far. Even if you don't realize it...as my story will illustrate.
A few months ago, I was hanging out at my favorite bar one weekend night. I was in a really bad mood because I was going through some back and forth crap with this guy I was sorta/kinda involved with. So I was sitting at the bar, pissed off, and the bartender came over and informed some guy down the bar had bought me a drink. I hate when guys buy me drinks because I hate feeling like I have to then be nice and say thank you for something I did not ask for. So, I did not even acknowledge the guy.
A few minutes later though, he gets up and walks over and just sits down next to me. And then proceeded, for the next four hours, to talk about himself non-stop. I had never seen anything like it in my life. I just sat there in awe. And, with each minute that went by, I grew more and more attracted to him until I was positively BURSTING with attraction and desire for this guy. I mean, who walks up to a stranger and just sits down and gives their life story? But I thought it was awesome. I was so into him, in fact, that when the guy I was involved with came strolling in, I was no distracted by him at all.
Trouble was, I liked the guy so much I didn't want to sleep with him yet. So I just gave him my number and left him there at closing time. Unfortunately for me he never called so I guess he was just after a booty call. If I could go back in time I would have slept with him if I knew I'd never see him again LOL
I was so impressed. I wish I had that sort of incredible confidence to go up to a strange and start talking about myself for hours. I've never seen anything like it. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/21/2009 10:32:17 PM |
My problem is that I am unable to tell what I did wrong after I got rejected
Your problem is that you assume that YOU did something wrong. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 9/22/2009 7:33:07 AM | | Yeah but people say rejection is a learning experience, that is why I assume and I am over-analytical, like I want to know what I did wrong and what should I change. | |
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