| What's the number that would scare you off for GOOD?
Posted: 9/9/2007 6:20:55 PM | is there any point,
great response, your spot on but....
be prepared to get flamed on. its always the ones that have something to hide that don't want to answer that are hiding something.
dont think that is you ask a girl and it was only 3 people she wouldnt blare it out before you got the question out. | |
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| What's the number that would scare you off for GOOD?
Posted: 9/9/2007 8:03:21 PM | Well....I have a story! To me, I guess I thought that numbers didn't really mean anything. UNTIL...I met this really nice guy and we started talking and we spent alot of time on the phone getting to know each other. Then, this subject came up. When he responded, I thought it was a joke. He said he had been with 420 women. OK...#1. If he was telling the truth, WHY was he keeping track? #2. Did he think that would impress me? Needless to say, I never spoke with him again. Numbers don't matter, UNLESS it's 400!!!!  | |
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| What's the number that would scare you off for GOOD?
Posted: 9/9/2007 8:03:25 PM | | I personally don't think this is something that is relevant to one's current relationship. I don't care how may partners some one has had. I would care more about how many times has he not used protection and the type of women (promiscous). | |
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| What's the number that would scare you off for GOOD?
Posted: 9/9/2007 8:23:46 PM | My ex husbands Sargent told this story about his only daughter an 18 year old high school graduate.
She lost her virginity during her First spring break trip, and came home with aids.
She had asked him how many partners he had bin with, and he told her, Truthfully,that he had only been with one other girl.
That girl, however had been with many, and that girl had given him the HIV virus that he had passed on to the Sargent's daughter...it is not important how many partners you or he has had.
What is important is how recently was the last aids screening. You and your partners should have an aide check, and again,every time you change partners, but before having unprotected sex.
Part of the reason i divorced the first time, is because he cheated frequently and didn't care that he might be bringing home something he couldn't take back, and I had 5 kids to raise. You have to respect yourself, protect your self. | |
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| What's the number that would scare you off for GOOD?
Posted: 9/9/2007 8:44:45 PM | | Hmmm numbers dont bother me at all. Hell ive only been with 6 girls. My ex's some of them have been with more guys then that, didnt bother me at all. Hell more experience in my book lol. | |
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| What's the number that would scare you off for GOOD?
Posted: 9/9/2007 11:47:56 PM | No number could scare me. And I mean that. What we do in the comfort of our own bodies and our own homes is OUR business.
See, the issue that would scare me is if it was all UNPROTECTED sex. I would be MORE scared of a person that has been with 20 people...all unprotected than someone that was with 75 all protected.
The sex is the bonus in the relationship anyways. It's better when the sex is good, even better when the sex is amazing. But it's not the basis. | |
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| What's the number that would scare you off for GOOD?
Posted: 9/10/2007 3:01:14 AM | As if a player is going to tell you the truth anyway......
And if they arent a player...does it matter?
People count? Seriously?
That is so highschoolish....
If someone asked that question or brought the subject up, I dont think I'd ever go there anyway. If its quantity and not quality they are into..my guess would be...they have no idea what sex is about. Reeeeeeally sad. | |
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| What's the number that would scare you off for GOOD?
Posted: 9/10/2007 11:06:48 AM | It's when the numbers involve fractions...such as "I've been with 5 1/2 people" that I would be concerned...I know everyone is supposed to have 1.2 kids or something and that the .2 needs lovin too, but come on... | |
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| What's the number that would scare you off for GOOD?
Posted: 9/10/2007 4:31:58 PM | It beats me why people think of (or seek) some mathematical equation for dating and finding a compatible mate. There ISNT one!
There is no formula. If person A meets person B and it doesnt work.
Neither of them are good or bad.
Person A later meets person X - it works
Person B later meets person K - it works
In the mean time person X and K have dated persons B, Q, Z, N, L, J and E - and it didnt work.
But A - X and B- K work!
Its not about numbers. Its about personalities and lifestyles and likes and dislikes and moral viewpoints, maybe political and environmental view points etc etc. In other words long term 'compatibility'? And sometimes those 'gaps that cant be bridged' arent apparent for a while.
So who's to blame?
No-one.
If someone said they had only ever been with 2 people at my age....I would have them pegged for someone who just moulds to whoever they are with at the time, and that works for some people! Thats exactly what they are looking for. Stablity and sameness and life just plods along. You get up and go to work and come home and cook dinner and watch TV and then go to bed - then get up and do it over again. And they're happy! But it doesnt make ME happy.
I dont have an average kind of life or lifestyle or mind. And that being the case there are going to be areas where we need to bridge a gap. Whether that can be done (or not) only time tells.
If someone has a track record of multiple one week or 2 month 'relationships' yes I'd be wary. But mostly the hard fit people dont get INTO relationships as fast or as easy. But tend to have several semi long term relationships under their belt. I know I do.
And if people here got honest instead of all pretending to be born again virgins, then find out the SO you decided to date was ALSO lying....there would be a lot less threads on women lie/men lie or all men are players blah blah blah.
Know WHO YOU ARE and know what you want and what works for you and what doesnt. And if you strike some guy who says I LOVE YOU and you take your panties off because of it, dont think you can erase that number by blaming him for it or convincing yourself or the world you were tricked into it.
My 10 cents worth. | |
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| What's the number that would scare you off for GOOD?
Posted: 9/10/2007 4:38:32 PM | Of course neither of them are bad... they're just not right for each other.
Also, I'm quite honest about where I've been... and while I'm not a virgin, I've not been with many people.
I don't think I've seen anyone talking about virginity. I don't care if she's been with other people... but when you start hitting double and triple digits it is less likely that the person would be a good match for me. | |
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| What's the number that would scare you off for GOOD?
Posted: 9/10/2007 6:40:02 PM | As stated before by Hoosier Blonde....
"Your past is your past. It is no one's business but your own. We all have one........."
I could care less how many she had before me. I am the one with her now and she should be that way with me too. | |
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| What's the number that would scare you off for GOOD?
Posted: 9/10/2007 10:31:26 PM | | I think that the number of people someone has been with says a lot about their personality and how important sex is to them, honestly. I don't think that it's immature to be a bit curious about the number of people your partner has slept with. How many people one has had sex with can possibly say a lot about how often they fall in love (IF they are a person who only sleeps with people they love), what they see sex as, or it can be used as a matter of seeing whether or not you are compatible with your partner. For instance, I wouldn't be interested in a guy who had sex with a lot of girls because he believed to be in love with each and every one of them, or a guy who did it because sex was a casual thing to him. If that were the case, my beliefs would clash with his and it would make for hurt feelings. What really matters is whether your opinions are close enough to your partner's so as to have a good relationship where you are on the same wavelength. | |
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| What's the number that would scare you off for GOOD?
Posted: 9/10/2007 10:41:48 PM | The number might bother me if it were pretty high and most of the partners were outside of a relationship. I think I might start getting a little put off around 20ish if she was my age. Sex isn't something I jump into that easily, and I'd like to know that the person I'm dating has similar standards.
Numbers do mean something. If two people are so different that one of them has had sex with one or two people in their life during long-term relationships vs. the other having had it with twenty, thirty, or more, many of which being one night stands, it's a reasonable cause for concern. | |
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| What's the number that would scare you off for GOOD?
Posted: 9/10/2007 11:44:52 PM |
How many sexual partners is enough for you to run and hide when your partner tells you their number???
Any. As in I don't care, and I don't want to know.
Why should numbers be a topic of conversation?
Is it a competition where people are supposed to
keep score?
5 or 5,000 matters not to me. All that matters is
a clean bill of health, and the here and now. | |
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| What's the number that would scare you off for GOOD?
Posted: 9/10/2007 11:54:10 PM | | I never ever ask. i find that I don't even want to know, at least not at first. The truth will come out one day when me and her are VERY comfortable with each other and it doesn't matter. | |
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| What's the number that would scare you off for GOOD?
Posted: 9/11/2007 12:23:06 AM | At some point you have to ask yourself, does it really matter?
Ultimately the person who is with you chooses to be *with you* If their number is too high does that make them a bad person? I mean obviously if you are intimate with them then you thought enough of that person to be intimate with them...
That number means they have lived a life, and it may have been completely crazy at some point in time, regaurdless though, it was their life, it is their past.
Everyone over the age of about 20 has some kind of baggage, some emotional soft spot they probably really do not want to be poked in. I have one, if you are reading this the odds are you have one.
Isn't it possible to realise that the number is totally a pointless item?
I have never had an STD.
The one time I *thought* I had an STD it was actually just reaction to sand flea bites.
I have a number like everyone else, I have met people with numbers higher and lower than my own.
What does it all mean? It means I have had a life, and some people have had more sex and other people have had less sex.
I have 1 child, She lives with me full time.
So I have been sexually active, I have bred and am raising my offspring and I have either been incredibly lucky, or very sexually responsible.
What more needs to be said?
--Serenity | |
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