| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/8/2006 7:05:44 AM | Funny situation:
I'm 41 and look to be in my early to mid 30's, and I dated a man 42 years old who looked to be in his mid to late 50's. We were out one evening, and we were mistaken for father and daughter, and it really swung him into a totally different frame of mind, of which he could not overcome and it was the beginning of the end.
I also dated a man in his early 50's and that first kiss was the end for me, as he had no idea what a soft passionate kiss was. I felt the subject in pie eating contest, and when the inside of my mouth is bloody from a single kiss, I'm sorry. Buh Bye.
I have no age limits...but I do have qualities I require. Some...and I'm saying some..men no matter their age, simply don't have those qualities. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/8/2006 7:36:48 AM | for myself I just cannot find someone in thier 60's attractive..mind you some men in thier 50's and 40's they look old. I think its a person by person thing..
Honestly I doubt a 60 something could do it for me..My ex fatherinlaw is in his 60's...EWWWE it would be like dating my dad.
There has to be a attraction..and people have to be realistic...Lets face it if your in your 60's and fithy rich all gold digging women find you attractive...  | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/8/2006 11:39:45 AM | I also agree with Abe.
Persons who are hung up on the numbers have, sorry, a shallowness.
When you are with someone, you figure out what you like or don't like about him/her.
Behavior varies enormously -- some people are world-class in their teens, and some
are pathetic children in their 20's, 30's or beyond. If you can't figure out the difference
without a chart and a cheat sheet.... you don't know much.
My favorite Whoopi Goldberg joke from the Academy Awards (one year recently) was her
line -- "Last year one producer got so drunk at a party that he actually went home with
a woman his own age." ha ha! Now that's drunk!
If you like 'em young, you cannot really help it. Just hang in and find someone young who
likes you back, or find someone who is youthful enough despite their actual chron age.
I just now noticed Earthmother's post. People cannot tell ages easily sometimes.
I got my hair cut along with a friend, and he is younger, but has prematurely white
hair. This lady cutting my hair said to me, "Is that your father that came in with you?"
Me and this other friend who was also there were laughing so hard -- we said, "Let's
not tell Tom you said that -- he has enough problems already and that will destroy him!"
I was with another friend at a nice neighborhood bar/restaurant one time, and nearby
a young lady was left alone when her friend had to leave. Eventually she turned to us
and said, "So you're a couple of college kids on break now?" We broke up laughing....
my friend with me then is six years older than me, but everyone thinks he is several years
younger than me! He was early 30's and owned several houses. People have always
referred to him as "some little friend of yours from college" and it bothered him so much
(he is also short) he was in counseling! I just laugh. I have always looked young and
no one can tell how old I am. When he is along they think we are kids! By the way,
the young lady seated nearby said, "Can you believe I have a fifteen year old son?"
We laughed and said no. She was early 30's herself, had the kid as a teenager. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/8/2006 11:48:00 AM | Hi Michael,
I thought about this a good bit actually. What is too old, and when. I'm 22, and I like guys in their late 20's to mid 30's because I think they are more mature and we just seem to click better. I have several girlfriends who refuse to date a guy 5 years older than they are. It's just what is considered to be an extensive span. The older you get, the large the time span that is tolorated. Personally, I think 20 years is too much. 10 years is probably okay. I don't know if this made any sense at all.
Tasha  | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/8/2006 8:57:11 PM | I think its ahrd for any age group so i have to agree with other im looking 10 years older or 5 years younger boy im pushing it arent i lol oh well best wishes
shiloh | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/8/2006 9:21:25 PM | None of the above. They either don't ever find themselves attracted to guys your age or they find guys closer to their age more attractive.
They think you're too old for them. You can't do a thing about this. Besides.. there are women who're into 20 year age differences or 60 yr olds, so no biggie. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/13/2006 12:51:05 PM | Hi,
What you say about older men ..."seem to be set in their ways.......... not as spontaneous.... something just kind of missing" ... That is exactly why I never date older women.
I think a "10 years rule" is absolutely redicilous. i am also 60, same as the gentleman who started this thread, and the *oldest* gal I have dated in the last 10 years was 32, most are much younger.
I got on the phone to one gal's mom once, a sweet young one, only 19 when we started going out. Mom said "I hear you're older". I said yes, I was much older than her daughter. She replied, "No, older than me". She then went on to tell me her daughter had told her I treated her better then any man she ever dated, I was more loving, more caring, more respectful, and that she was happy; and mom figured that was the important thing, her daughter's happiness. When we did finally meet, mom and I got along great.
Society seems to treat older men as if we all had some disease, or that we are a disease. Huge age differences are taught to us, to our kids, as "wrong, evil, sick, perverted", all for no real reason at all. If someday society can butt out of people's lives, if a man and a woman can simply judge each other by who they are, not their age and society's admonishment, maybe we'd all be better off.
Listening to some of the tales I am told by young women about abuse and disrespect at the hands of guys "the right age", maybe society should encourage a wider age gap.
IMHO | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/13/2006 1:06:19 PM | Sick, sick, sick, sick, sick!
60 year old men have NO BUSINESS with 19 year old GIRLS. You probably have children older than that. I know its all about personal preference. But you are one sick B*STARD. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/13/2006 1:40:07 PM | are U the one?
Society seems to treat older men as if we all had some disease, or that we are a disease. Huge age differences are taught to us, to our kids, as "wrong, evil, sick, perverted", all for no real reason at all. If someday society can butt out of people's lives, if a man and a woman can simply judge each other by who they are, not their age and society's admonishment, maybe we'd all be better off.
You are diseased. You are a pedophile. Society would butt out of your life if you would date women but you insist on going after girls that are young enough to be your children. Anytime you are having sex with someone young enough to call you Dad, there is something wrong there.
I think you are sick, I think you profile is sick, I think what you want is sick, and I think you prey on the weak. Honestly, I don't know how you can come on here and post like this in the forums and have a profile like yours. It is no wonder you do not post a pic. Someone in your community might recognize you and alert the authorities and you would never be allowed near the high school again.
Why not try women closer to your own age? Or are you afraid that they will not be impressed with your limited sexual prowess? | |
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Phyn
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Joined: 6/5/2006
Msg: 36 | |
| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/13/2006 3:06:13 PM | Whoa, Nelly! Back up the bus!
Pedophile? Harsh, dude.
Sure, one can question how much they have in common, but if they are both consenting adults, that's their business. No one can judge from the outside.
I see this a lot: "old enough to be her father". So what? Unless he actually is her father, what's your point in drawing that comparison. It's one of those red flag-waving arguments that appeals to reflexive emotions more than to reason.
There are plenty of good reasons why a relationship with that much age gap is unlikely to succeed, but there are also exceptions. Personally, I think it is good for people to go through the same life stages together, but that is only an opinion, albeit one based on observation.
Joy and peace to all true lovers, whomever they may be. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/13/2006 3:18:20 PM | Just my opinion....... it is sick, really sick.
He is not wanting a relationship, he is wanting sex with these young "women".
No way to justify this..... no matter how hard you try. A 60 year old man with a 19 year old girl is just WRONG | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/13/2006 4:33:08 PM | In my view...
if you are old enough to legally operate a vehicle on your own, you are old enought to decide who you want to date. I would not be thrilled about a 17 year old girl dating a 25 - 30+ year old guy if she were living under my roof and guidance issues would be dealt with on a person by person basis.
I also would not be happy about my 26 year old daughter seeing a man 20 years+ older and might advise her against it, but at the end of the day it's her choice and I would support and stand beside her whatever she decided. When your children leave your home and support and live by themselves they are in the drivers seat period.
newandreadyforu:
I find it amazing that you find an age difference among consenting adults "sick" yet you have posted pictures of minors on your profile. Whats up with that? Even thaough I find this disrespectful I choose not to call you sick even though it shows poor judgement. A little more tolerance and a little less judgement with some constructive commentary would be nice. You look like a smart enough person! | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/13/2006 10:38:01 PM | [Good question. I said I relate best to women in their 40's not that I discount women older than me. It just goes back to that chemistry thing. If your not attracted to someone, you're not attracted, regardless of age. That was the point of my original question. I never discount ayone simply on the basis of age. It's just that I am generally attracted to more women who are in their 40's. It just works out that way.]
Obviously you ARE having a hard time finding women in their 40's to date or you wouldn't be whining about it. You want us to respect your preferences? Then quit trying convince women that aren't attracted to older men that they have the problem. It's about respect. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/13/2006 11:05:38 PM | | I think 10 years is enough you are 60 and the lady 40 she will probably have her heart broken by the time she is 60 if you dont make it to 80. Sounds harsh thing to say, but its the truth. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/13/2006 11:59:06 PM | Of course, age is only a number. However, you have to think about long-term, as that's what most of us in our 40's are looking for. When I retire, I would not look forward to taking care of an 80 yr old man.
Scarlett | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/14/2006 12:26:29 AM | To be honest, I think it works for some people but thats probably very rare, and I think it comes down to how old you look and how old your baggage appears to be.
Some men age worse than others. Some of it is just genes. Some of it is diet, exercise, habits like drinking and smoking or a lack of those things. Some people work really hard jobs like construction or emergency services where the body takes alot of wear and tear.
Obviously men who look younger than their age have a better shot than those who don't. I tend to find that, and I'm not trying to generalize here, that many Asians age very very well. Lots of older Asian men don't look their age. And I find that many Asian girlfriends I went to college with looked like young teenagers from high school when they were actually much older. Its not a great benefit when they are young, but when they are 60 and look early 40s, its probably a huge difference in their dating lives. I'd take a stab that some Asian men probably have better luck in old age if they appear young as well.
Another problem is an older persons baggage. More years means more time to have debt or health problems or divorces or children still in the fold. I think older guys, with few of the dealbreakers that would disbar even younger men, stand a better chance than some other older guy with lots of issues on his plate.
The problem I see on POF with older guys is they try to sell romance to younger girls, which is a mistake. No matter how smooth the delivery, it just looks and sounds dirty and lecherous. I think if an older guy wants to date younger women, he should try to find a job that makes that situation easier. An older successful musician or a teacher (college not high school) is a good spot to let someone get to know you in context. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/14/2006 12:26:54 AM | | Certainly people of the same age will have more in common, but kindred spirits can be of diverse ages. I think values, lifestyle and interests are more important than age. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/14/2006 12:32:06 AM | | OK, so how about Harrison Ford, Clint Eastwood, and Sean Connery ... do 40-something women find them attractive? | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/14/2006 5:08:46 AM | Rockstar47...
Read my post.... I am not against age differences in general. But there gets a point where it is sick. 60 year olds dating teenagers for sex is beyond that point. Again, just my opinion. Obviously the poster I was referring to has some issues that he needs to resolve. I can possibly understand the "accidental" connection of two souls at opposite ends of the age spectrum. Diverse people meet and connect in real life situations and relationships develop all the time. And it would make sense in some situations that a few of these age diverse relationsips would be part of it. However, the poster I was refering to has targeted very young women. He is sick and obviously has some issues that would make him less than attractive to women even closer to his age. He is 60, what could he possibly have in common with a 19 year old? Only one thing! If he wants to date younger women he has a lot of choices....30's 40's 50's are all younger. We need to wake up. There is a limit to what is acceptable in life. And this man is beyond those limits.
If you had a 19 year old daughetr, would you want him dating this poster who clearly states that he wants to date young women purely for sexual purposes? No, you would not. I have a 24 year old daughter and that thought sickens me, as it should you.
But wtf are you talking about me having pictures of minors in my profile? I have pictures of my Son and one onf my Grand Daughters. How on earth is that disrespectful or showing poor judgement in any way? No one can get to either of those children except through me. Those children are a big part of my life and I am proud of them. So where is the harm in having their pictures in my profile? | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/14/2006 5:18:00 AM |
OK, so how about Harrison Ford, Clint Eastwood, and Sean Connery ... do 40-something women find them attractive?
You can think someone is nice looking, but not want to date them. I think some movie stars who are old enough to be my dad (Dennis Quaid, Kevin Costner, etc.) are good looking but if a great looking guy that age wanted to go out with me I'd say no way.
First of all, let's say a 27 year old and a 47 year old got married and had a couple of kids. By the time the kids were graduating from college the guy would be retiring from his job, probably developing more health issues, and getting ready to enter a new phase of life that that now 47 year old woman would totally be unready for.
I want to find someone someday to grow old with, not someone I have to take care of when HE'S old and I'm still young and vibrant. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/14/2006 5:44:56 AM | | Hi I qualify for "too old", I am an established man financialy. I have experience in how to treat women so as to not lower thier self-esteem. Young women find this entrigueing. They know we may persue them sexually but not to the point it will make them uncomfortable. No don't mean maybe to us at the time. Woman may have to choose because they are game actively persued by some younger men as some sort of trophy to show off to thier friends. After women find this out it is NOT flattering at all but degrading and may affect self esteem depending on the committment of the woman...young or mature. Young men...Don't let them injur your self esteem either. If you are rejected based upon first impressions, that may be a good thing. Real mature women have fun with the pretty boys and they have right to do so. However, when they are ready to choose a meaningful relationship us regular guys become pretty attractive. So let them build thier self esteem if they have to, and sit back and wait for the woman that will be ready for guys like us after the pretty boys are finished with them building their own ego. Dan | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/14/2006 8:51:22 AM | First of all, let's say a 27 year old and a 47 year old got married and had a couple of kids. By the time the kids were graduating from college the guy would be retiring from his job, probably developing more health issues, and getting ready to enter a new phase of life that that now 47 year old woman would totally be unready for.
That is exactly the point. I think if you are just dating then extreme age differences are ok, but for long-term relationships, only a really special couple could pull that off. As someone that lived it, everything was fine until he started to slow down, in EVERY area. He was totally in his right to do so, but that wasn't what I wanted, I now wanted to live. | |
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