| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:58:59 AM | yes you are so right, julustful, I believe that too and the person who gets me will be very happy! LOL
I don't think looks are what makes a person -- it is what is on the inside that counts and how you present yourself to the person. I am looking for someone who is caring and loving -- so respect, courtesy and all the manners that are in a gentleman is required in my 'standards'!
Well, you have a great day and for all of you who are on this website never give up what you are looking for and settle for second best -- it will not give you satisfaction.
Darlene | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/12/2006 12:10:41 PM | Well...it seems some people don't know how to have common courtesy anymore..and they ruin it it for those who do...I always write back to someone who took the time to write to me...even if it's just to say thanks, not interested...there are some great people on this site...we just need some patience to find them.... to all! | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/12/2006 1:53:11 PM | The common theme here is that some people are rude. I would always answer e-mails regardless of the persons looks (barbie doll) or not. There are a lot of people that read and save my e-mails. This I don't understand. If they are not going to respond; why keep the e-mail? I guess I should not put my heart into them only to get slammed with no response. I don't get it. It seems like no one is getting there e-mails answered. It's very discouraging. I'm ready to pack it in and move on to the real world. But thats the bar scene and I'm not really into that. So I'll give it a little while longer and see what happens. I'm not the handsomest guy but I'm not disgusting either and I get very few replies in contrast to my e-mails. I've tried changing my profile but nothing seems to matter. Help me please before I give up. Guess thats another thread.  | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/12/2006 2:56:58 PM | Ok I may be wrong on this but I would rather not get a response from someone who is not interested..I am guilty of not responding myself, but I figure that is letting you know I am not interested rather then send back an email telling you this..to me that is more of a self esteem blow to read the rejecton in black and white..Commen sense says if no response it means not interested, and not worth the upset so just move on.. Dating is hard and it sucks..We all have a type we are attracted to so we know when we see profile if it could be a match or not..Dont take it so personal, I have had men not respond to me and I could care less, there is to many fish in the sea to ge upset over one! Have fun with it and if you end up meeting someone great then be happy for that.. I read someones response saying that men are only looking for barbie dolls and sex..Well alot of women are looking for the same thing as well so cant just put the blame on men...Its all a matter of good character, some have it some dont and that applys to men and women.. | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/12/2006 5:41:59 PM | Hi, danaman, I tried to email you and let you know what I think but the one thing you need to do is increase the age limit you have for the women -- there is nothing wrong iwth older women -- this might give you more contact -- take a chance with the older ones. increase to at least ten years your age.
Take care,
Darlene | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:38:07 PM | I'm not going to lie and say that looks do not matter. I understand that they do and they do for me. But not to the extent that, that is all I will consider. For me, looks are what you are first attracted to; that is, what you first see. Unless you have had the opportunity to talk with someone first and really not care what they look like and simply enjoy their personality, usually, your decision to initiate is based on your attraction to how the person looks.
So I understand why I may be over looked. I am working on my size. I think that is the hindrance for me. I do not think that I am an "ugly" guy, but I do believe my size is a deterrent to most women...well strike that, to all women, lol.
I can't help but say, that the women that are interested in me, are generally not the type of women that I am interested in.
It's like I can't get some "medium" or an interest that is reciprocated from someone that is attracted to me and I to them.
Oh well...I am trying other things. There is a social events club that I joined recently, I am going to try that for now and see where that leads.
Thanks for the responses.
André | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/13/2006 4:17:54 AM | | I know what you mean, sweetpotato, I had a guy who lives in, I think, Bunnel, who put me on his favorites, I emailed him and told him I was honored and he never emailed me. So about a month later I thought I would email him again and this time he blocked me from emailing him! But he still had my picture on his favorites -- so you tell me what is up with that?! | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/16/2006 6:56:17 AM | I gave up trying to reply to the ones I am not interested in.
When I do, it results in two things. One, they try to argue with me. If I say I am looking for someone under 38 they will try to convince me they are a FIT 60 year old
OR they call me names for not being interested in them (even if I say it vewy vewy nicely) 
Even tho my profile says not looking, I still get a lot of mail. I don't have time to reply to the ones I find interesting, let alone the ones that aren't a match that want to argue with me. I think the sour apples just spoil it for everyone and make it so no one wants the hassle..
Also, sometimes the person may just not have the time to respond to you either way, but maybe they intend to down the road.. | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/16/2006 7:58:50 AM | | Like many here i have experienced many "no replys" though many msg's have been read but not deleted.... then there are the ones who have put me on thier favorites list but dont relpy or send msg's... LOL I dont take it personal thats for sure... but hey!!!! if your looking for the perfect guy, your in the wrong place... how about a little compromise... good luck to everyone.... | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/16/2006 8:31:26 AM | I just saw this post as I normally do not get sucked into spending time on forums however this questioned intrigued me.
I used to respond to every interested party. Trying to do what I considered the polite thing to do. The reason I do not respond to every single one now is for the same reasons you mentioned. It feels like a waist of time. If you are on this site then you MUST KNOW that more then likely most will not be a match. When you write some one and they do not respond it could be because they simply ARE NOT THAT INTO YOU, good to know now and move on.
I do not play games and I try to be honest but I am finished settling for less. I ask for Romance and get duds. I am not responding to men I know from their profiles are not going to be compatible. I have in my profile that I like tall athletic men, and specify that a beer belly is not athletic, and yet I still have men who have full kegs contacting me. I am sorry; however I am not going to respond to them. If they were inconsiderate enough to ignore my likes and lazy enough to not take care of themselves, then why should I open myself up to them contacting me again?
Furthermore, I do not date more then one gentleman at a time because I want to give that man a proper chance to get to know me and visa versa. Yet I do not take my profile off line because I have not found “The One”, yet. They may contact you when they are available again if they become available again.
If they don’t respond it is obvious they are not interested. I think it is actually rude of YOU to put them in a position to have to write out a rejection letter, no matter how nice it may be put. It is uncomfortable to write. I don’t want to hurt any one’s feelings. I honestly feel it is better to not respond at all then to reject or be rejected. | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/23/2006 12:37:19 AM | It could be worse, i have had at least two men contact me first, and email back and forth and then disapppear, and some will email once, and after you email them they do not write back. I guess it is hard to convey sincerity in emails, no other idea why they do not respond, unless they are scared or immature, or some reason they are not saying. My dream is to date a blond long haired musician/artist, the ones I meet have been shy, or something else. I do date other types, too. Just not mean, addictive types or control freaks, though... It is kind of embarassing to admit I'm an adult and still am clueless about men and dating, guess growing up in a smallish town didn't exactly help either... it is still a mystery to me...I've met three POF men so far, and am not dating any of them at this point. The ones I'd love to meet now get shy, and it totally confuses me...Sure wish I could figure it out, I have met some really bratty women who are dating offline, one was even rude to her guy in public...I only need one man, guess I just have to keep trying until I do find the right one or figure things out...Kind of scary....or not? Stay tuned...! | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/23/2006 8:49:54 AM | In terms requesting a response. I'd rather not hear from someone not interested. Why would I want to read, "Thanks, but no thanks." If I didn't hear back, I'd just assume you were busy or something came up. An email isn't a party, doesn't require an RSVP.
Like other people, I have responded nicely and received rude responses or replies wanting me to justify why I wasn't interested. It does not mean I think everyone is rude. Perhaps someone is in a time crunch and can't reply at that moment. I've been awaken from a wrong number phone call and check email half-asleep. I've check e-mail while waiting to board at the airport. I've used internet kiosk where perhaps I have an extra couple of minutes in the hour I paid for. If someone sent me a snail mail letter, I'd have the luxury of responding when the time was more appropriate.
When an email is sent you do not know what frame of mind the receiving will be in when they read it. Perhaps they are grieving, just lost their job, just learned they have cancer, maybe they received a nasty note from the homeowner's association, got into a huge fight with family or friends or the car broke down and it's huge bill. Sure they could have read your note, even thought highly of you, but they were too upset to respond. Now I recognize that it isn't happening to every response, but probably more than is thought. Some days are good, some days are not. Given that you do not know what is going on in someone's life, it is pretty demanding to want a response back. Wouldn't you want someone to give you the benefit of the doubt?
Tina | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/23/2006 8:51:20 AM | Hi,
I know, it is frustrating that people are not courteous sometimes.
I, too, answer any e-mail because I believe it would be rude not to.
None-the-less, perhaps if someone doesn't respond they are not interested and do not have a graceful way of saying so. In my book - no excuse - but perhaps they think silence is golden because they do not want to hurt your feelings.
C'mon, people, let's answer e-mails! All you have to do is say, "I'm flattered by your intrest but I do not think we are a match. Good luck in your search."
Y'all have a great day now! | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/23/2006 9:12:53 AM | Wow....I just had a situation on here that was nuts......
She sent me an email some time ago and I responded that I wasn't interested...
She sent me another note some time later....and I responded again that I wasn't interested, but thanks for writing....
Yesterday...she emails me again....all three mails were worded the same....it was obvious that she didn't remember sending the first two...
Soooooo I'm thinking...now what do I do? I thought I responded nicely to the first two letters, but I guess she didn't get the point! So I decided to be rude on my response to the third. I really didn't want to....but I needed to convey the point that I wasn't interested!
The letter that I got back was hilarious !!! I was told that I was the meanest person ever....and that I should stop contacting her.....when I didn't contact her in the first place!!!!
Some people just don't get it....and I'm not really a mean person...as ALL my friends on here can attest to that.....
It made me wonder if she was sending the same message to alot of people....and forgetting who she sent them all to...
I have responded to every letter I get on here.....but now I'm starting to see why some people won't respond if they're not interested.....it's not worth the hassle....
In fact....it's nucking futs.... | |
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