| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/23/2006 6:18:03 PM | I used to give this response if I wasn't interested:
Thank you but I'm really not interested right now. Thank you and good luck.
The usual response to that was:
Who the F do you think you are?
You're probably just a whore anyway and you're ugly too!
You **** why do you think you're too good for me?
Wouldn't YOU stop answering after awhile? | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/23/2006 6:36:42 PM | | Sometimes, it may be due to the volume of email they get. If I have 10 new messages, and 5 minutes to check it, not all of them get answered. I also read the person's profile first to see if they read mine- I have some fairly clear points about who I'm looking for- if they clearly aren't even close, I figure they didn't read my profile and I don't owe them an answer. However, if it's a really nice note- even if I'm not interested, I do repsond. | |
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| I know why
Posted: 7/23/2006 7:42:06 PM | | Sometimes it's best not to reply because then it just reminds the person that you rejected them. So they might just think well this person I wrote to may have found someone and leaves them with hope. NEXT!!!!!!! You can't be a softy in this dating game or you will end up hurt!!!. | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/24/2006 12:39:38 AM | | I totally agree. The problem is the level of selfishness online and especially in Florida. People think well I don't like you; why should I give a s h i t. The selfish mentality of what do you have to offer me? Nothing? Then why should I waste my time on you if I can't get anything out of you. People online easily forget there is still a real, live person on the other end typing those emails and putting forth the time and effort. There are plenty of girls who pull the same s h i t as well so it is not just the guys. The extremely few responses I receive, I always answer back no matter what. Treat others how you want to be treated should be the golden rule but apparently it is silver, bronze, or no metal at all these days. Or as I like to say, you scratch my back; I take off your fleas. | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/24/2006 7:15:38 AM | | when i get an e mail i write back,most reply and we become good friends via the internet its very hard to meet guys with my crazy work schedual .when i recently met mr, right i e mailed them and 99% said good luck and lets remain friends(in case it doesnt work out)guess ive been lucky so far. got a few e mails that were a page long. i wrote back (also a page long)telling them everything about me.i also included the words :if im not your type after reading this: its ok no hurt feelings. | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/25/2006 12:21:19 AM | if you put restrictions on your profile, pof automatically rejects/blocks them from responding.
not responding isnt constricted to one gender, -i would feel more men get deleted -simply because there are more men on this site. so the gals are more choosy. - i had a few e-mails instantly deleted this weekend, cant let it bother you in this pond full of superficial sharks and other venomous creatures. all you can do is be persistant. | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/25/2006 4:39:05 AM |
if you put restrictions on your profile, pof automatically rejects/blocks them from responding.
Being new to PoF, I find I am not impressed with the way they do things. I recently received an email from someone who seemed interested. I responded to her, but my email didn't go through. Apparently she has some restriction that keeps her from getting my email.
What's up with that? An assinine way to run a dating site, IMO. | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/25/2006 5:32:37 AM | I've had 3 men go OFF on me in the last week because of a thanks/no thanks response. After the initial thanks/no thanks they continued to email me and ask me "WHY - is there something wrong with me or my profile?" was a very common type of retort. When I explained to them that there was nothing wrong with their profile or their picture, I just felt that there wasn't enough common ground, they continued to question me.. why, why, why - I'm this, I'm that, I'm the other, you say you want tall, I'm tall, or even worse one guy was 5'6" and my profile clearly says I like tall men. Doesn't mean I don't make friends with shorter ones or ones that don't fit my criteria for dating.
I'm sorry - I am not a rude person but they need to get over themselves! I've sent out countless emails to guys since I first joined the site and I've had plenty of rejections - mainly read/delete - sometimes unread/delete. I have never taken it personally or thought "what's wrong with me" - I can't be wanted by everyone. I have never bothered anyone again or questioned their reason after a read/delete or unread/delete - it's their prerogative and I do not consider them rude.
If someone's not interested - they're not interested. There's no reason to be offended or to consider that the person is rude if they don't respond. To continue to practically harass someone because they're not interested is RUDE.
For those of you who feel offended that someone didn't have the courtesy to respond - please think about this - it's NOT about you. It's about someone else's choice. It's not personal - it can't be - they don't know you. GET PAST this and move on! It's not the same as when you have already started conversing with someone and then they no longer respond to you - that's a whole different ball game - and again - you should be understanding of people and their lives - you should never have great expectations or lay demands on people.
This is all virtual. Until you actually meet someone in person - it's all virtual - it's not the same as things are in real life until you actually meet someone in real life. It's not personal. I feel that if I repeat myself enough times perhaps it's going to subliminally hit you and make sense! LOL
Just because someone has a profile here, they do not owe you a response. It is not improper etiquette for them NOT to respond to the initial email. They are not being rude. Those that keep demanding a response are the rude ones!
Get over it....Don't worry... be happy....have a great week...
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| It's certainly not just men
Posted: 7/25/2006 3:15:07 PM | I would estimate that no more than 30% of my e-mails to women get any response whatsoever. I have no problem with those who respond something like "I don't think we're a good fit" or whatever, but the vast majority of women don't respond at all...and no, it's not that I only e-mail the Barbie dolls (in fact, it's pretty rare that I e-mail the Barbie dolls, as most of them have the attitude that comes from being hit on all the time) and I do indeed read their entire profile before responding. POF has some shortcomings there; I don't think "Big & Tall/BBW" should be one category, and I think there should be an indication of status for children (Live at home? Ages?), and I admit to missing something occassionally, but I don't mass e-mail any woman with a pulse who shows up.
The one guy had a point; you can't always tell (and sometimes you might miss it) who has e-mailed for IEs, etc....I apparently e-mailed someone in that category some time ago (only thing I can figure, I know it wasn't recently) so I suddenly got blocked, had to re-do my profile.
I definitely agree that we'd all be better off with a little common courtesy, but that's the oxymoron of the day. | |
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| I know why
Posted: 7/25/2006 3:35:59 PM | Everyone
This site is no different from any other singles site..and ladies..let me tell you something...
Trust me its not just men that don't reply.
I've used several singles sites and there is about a 5% rate of return on emails...so if you find someone that interests you, you better find 20 because it takes 20 emails to 20 different people to get a reply.
Yes its pissed me off to no end as I feel its a total lack of any courtesy at all....for the longest time I responded to EVERY email I received in which I did not initiate contact first...(which ...if you think you have it bad ladies...try receiving 2 emails a MONTH) When I discovered just how few women actually EVER answered an email (and my emails were always nice, courteous, etc..never crass or rude)...well at that point I stopped answering every email. If you don't at least fall within the paramaters presented on my profile then I will not answer..however if you do I will always answer...
Women on the other hand don't even go that far. | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/25/2006 5:21:13 PM | | Well, originally when I started using these sites, I would write long nice messages to those that caught my eye and mind - since I would read their profiles - but most of the time I wouldn't get a response, so I figured this was the code: "If you're not interested, just don't reply and it will be understood." I am new to this site, though. Yesterday, I got an e-mail, to which I responded not merely saying thank you for your interest and that I was not interested, but also stating in a candid mather, why I was not attracted to her. I hope I did the right thing. I have no intention of offending any one. I think it's simple, we just have to accept everyone's choice. Some like to respond, others don't. We only control what we do, and how we react to what others do. So if we don't get a response, think about it... we really did, it just was silent. So, let it go, and keep on... NEXT!!! This reminds me of an occasion, when being on a New York City subway (the train not the restaurant), I offered my seat to a lady who might have been in her thirtees - I think, I was too young to really know. To my surprise, in an upset manner, she said she did not need it. By her reaction, I was almost certain she was offended by my offer. I was confused, since I was being a gentleman simply how I had been raised, and frankly, I never thought I lady would react like this. Anyway, through the years, I have come to realize that a woman is more receptive to accepting gestures from a gentleman, if she expects them. So I try to detect this as much as I can. Hope this helps you. | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/25/2006 9:14:12 PM | conti what you said ..>>>>
I think it's simple, we just have to accept everyone's choice. Some like to respond, others don't. We only control what we do, and how we react to what others do. So if we don't get a response, think about it... we really did, it just was silent. So, let it go, and keep on...
while I do agree because it does make sense .... we can still feel like somehow we r being shortchanged when we dont get a response .. as I said before tho
i have got used to the "NO RESPONSE" thing and just go on ... got to where it just isnt worth stressing over . if I do I have respect for the person if I dont ...oh well thats the way they are.....
creamy | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/26/2006 5:14:34 AM | Well, hildebrandt, maybe she forgot that she emailed you before -- so kindly remind her that she got your email. We all have a zillion things running through our minds. You are a good man for responding to all your emails! I think that is terrific! Keep doing it -- I know there are some very nice guys out there! and there are some very nice women out there who do like men like you!
Take care and have a wonderful Wednesday!
;) Darlene | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/26/2006 5:22:32 AM | Also, when we get a bad response -- I wonder if maybe that person has had a bad day. Either way, it is good to be courteous but I understand the notion of why no response.
However, I have been on here and it seems as though -- it has been the same old guys on here all the time! What gives with that? Aren't you finding anyone? I would love to see some new blood -- since the 'old fogies' are not interested. Anyway, exactly what you are interested in?!? You say a good woman, no games, fun, and I could go on and on with the many headlines! But, you are still here!!! So are you getting what you want or are you presenting false advertisment!
Someone give me a clue -- I feel sorry for the new guys because if most women are like me -- they are going to jump them because the oldies are not interested!
What gives?  YIKES!!!! | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/26/2006 6:05:16 PM | | I really didn't know that there was a rule for responding. While I was moving from Jacksonville to Cajun land, I did not have access to my p/c for about 2 weeks or more. One lady demanded that I answer her in about 6 messages. Heck, I never got to see the first one till I got all of them and if I could remember what nasty things she said to me, I'd post them, but, instead, I blocked her. Now, if you look close at the times and all that people are on here, you'll find that not all log into this site. Send somebody a message and they don't log in (might have found their true love, etc. or p/c problems, etc.) they sure can't respond and you go and toss a fit over it. Heck, take what you can and forget what you can't have. | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/27/2006 6:24:21 AM | I understand, Cajun, what you are saying but if the person is continually logging in because if you will notice the pictures that go across your screen show people who have checked their emails within the time frame so the people I am talking are those types of people. So if they are logging on then they should respond -- If it had been and I had received the messages that you had sent then I would have explained to her nicely what happened and then see what happened most people are very good at readjusting their attitude if corrected. It if very commong to jump to conclusions because it is not easy out there with 'dating' and everyone has gotten hurt in many ways from people over and over. It seems like a vicious cycle to me and I am comptemplating to stop doing this -- I know I have threatened this many times but this time I am very serious. So unless I receive some good emails (Iwill not sen any out this time) I will be taking my profile off.
So I hope you find what you are looking and have a great time in cajun country !!!
;) Darlene | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/29/2006 4:45:39 AM | I reply to all emails, even when I am not interested. More often than not when I do reply and wish the suitor continued luck with their search I get an angry email back. I would suppose that anyone who received enough of those responses would find it 'safer' to simply not repond.
On the same hand I have initiated contact with several people who have not bothered responding. I just view their lack of manners as a part of the weeding out process as I would not want to be with someone who didn't share my same values. | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/29/2006 5:23:06 AM | How true its better not to get a response then a jerk I had 2 jerks so far, glad we never met.
this is a singles web site we r free to do what we want or contact who we want, dont take it personally, just move on to the next guy there r plenty of fish just like the web site says, I met a nice guy who took me out on a pleasant date, we never became more then freinds but it was a pleasure to meet him & have a nice new freind. | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/29/2006 6:02:49 AM | | I agree with you. Every person should respond and not ignore any. I have had a few men email me that I was not interested in, either he did not have kids, or does not want kids, and the fact that I do, I was not interested. I emailed them back saying this and all I got was rude remarks from them. One man said I was a player and only playing games. Well, how am I playing games if I tell you the truth??? Some men are intimidated by us and when they say remarks like that I am glad I did not meet them. If they do not respond don't take it seriously. Life is too short! Men do not think like us and NEVER will! Be happy with life and enjoy the day! Take care! | |
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| When sent an email, why can't the person respond? Isn't there a code of courtesy here?
Posted: 7/30/2006 10:18:18 AM | | Wise or not, you didn't have a profile and no way for anybody to contact you on most of your forum posts. Nobody knew a thing about you except for the forums. Now, I see a few more that way and just ignore them because they post and don't want a response. I could be wrong in this and something messed up with the profile system, but, who wants to respond to somebody that does not give any information? | |
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