| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 7/17/2006 11:15:15 PM | Because they are hot in the summer, and not as great as the girls from Honolulu | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 7/18/2006 12:48:48 AM | Mr Phoenix -
Perhaps I should respond with the same bitterness that seems to flow never ending from the men (generality) around here, but I won't because I am in no way bitter. My response to Just43 was indicative of the sarcasm and bitterness in his email.
And if what I say shies men away, well then they were obviously not the right person for me, however before you passed your judgement on me perhaps you should have read my profile, you would have seen that I am on here looking for "friends", not my Mr Right, or my Mr Rightnow.
I'd rather not stoop to personal insult of someone whom I don't know, unlike the response from you assuming what my maturity level is, so I will say this that if I have to close my lips and not be who I am to a man in order for him to open up to me, I'm obviously with the wrong person. If the man is not secure enough to have an argument, for arguments sake, and only his opinion is allowed to be heard, I would not be with the right man. If a man is not secure enough to share his opinion or what he wants with me because I intimidate him with my argument, then again, wrong man. While this might make my picky, hostile, or as you indicate at the bottom of your email...immature, then I accept those titles and more.
and in response to vindicated, I'm not here for justification of my actions, or acceptance for what I do. I am who I am and as you can see above, I'm not afraid of it. (I will admit though, I'm either a person you like or don't, there is no middle line with me. For me this is just fine, I don't need to be liked by everyone I meet or don't meet in this case.)
I hope that you find what you are looking for, I hope you also realize that healthy argument is what drives passion. Perhaps that is why you are still looking for that "mind-blowing, divinely inspired, get-down-on-my-hands-and-knees-and-thank-God-every-day sort of sex life". Getting to the bottom of the issue is also important, but how boring would life be if everytime you disagreed on something you sat down and discussed it until you were at the bottom of it? (my perspective) Of course I am someone who enjoys an intellectual challenge (even a healthy debate, just for debates sake) and can accept an argument as that, not as a personal attack on someone's virtue or their belief. I'm also someone who can realize that not every issue is going to be agreed upon between 2 people, sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. Perhaps if my last 2 sentences were taken into consideration on my post to which you responded, it wouldn't come off to you as hostile or immature, or as an attack on your manhood which it obviously did since it inspired such a response. But alas, proving me wrong was more important than taking a second look at what was actually written...
Welcome to Bitter vs Hostile I suppose. (I refuse to be bitter, so I guess I will just have to be hostile.)
Again, this should not be taken personally, just making sure to reiterate that incase you didn't catch it in different phrasing the first time you read it. | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 7/18/2006 12:36:06 PM | I've noticed one big difference between the pictures of the younger men and younger women on this site.
I'm speaking in generalities and there loads of exceptions, but here's what I'm seeing:
The young guys have their "football faces on." Remember the yearbook pictures of the angry looking football team?
Too many guys take pictures that look like mug photos after a night of lawless mayhem.
On the other hand, the women are generally smiling.
Yes there are a few steely eyed vampires in heavy makeup, but the women generally look like nice people.
They may not be for all I know, but at least they're trying. | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 7/19/2006 1:01:57 AM | ktb,
I think you missed my point. I understood that you were being sarcastic. However, you did rise to the defense of behavior that is somewhat reprehensible.
Why did you do that?
I went on to speculate about why you might have, and perhaps that wasn't fair of me. So, I beg your pardon. I'm still wondering why you did though.
It wasn't about proving you wrong. It was about pointing out that the need to be right can lead to problems.
Was it your intention to defend women who treat men like dirt? That was the impression you gave. Is that the impression you intended to give? If not, what was?
All the best,
Robert | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 7/23/2006 5:57:50 PM | Mr. Phoenix,
My intention was never to defend women who treat men like dirt. My intention was to defend a woman's position regardless of who she is, to look for Mr. Right, in whatever form that may be to her.
If I gave the impression that I was defending women who treat men like dirt, then I apologize for that. It was not my intent. I think that all people should treat others as they would like to
be treated, regardless of situation, status, physicalities, sex, sexual preference, etc...
I do agree that the need to be right can lead to problems, but I also think that if you believe you in something, you shouldn't be easily persuaded to change your mind unless there is strong evidence to the contrary. (plus like I said before I like to debate, just for the sake of argument sometimes.)
I hope this gives a slightly clearer explanation of why I made the original comment. Afterall, I don't want to start a riot...  | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 7/23/2006 8:29:06 PM | | All you can really do is be yourself. There are some women on this site that are very sincere and nice. First don't place all women in the man hater category, because they're not. Deal with quality not quanity. Take the time to read their profile...if you see any red flags back away...give it time the right one will come along and if she is as sincere as she says she is then hey you found someone...chill and have a good time. | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 7/24/2006 2:21:45 PM | Im originally from San Francisco...but arrived here at age 11 and still think there is something uptight about LA. A lot of people come here from other places who want to be "actors and actresses"...so the ego mayhem is one part of it. We get a lot of narcissistic dreaming here, as well as creative people...
For some reason....there is a kokky paranoia about LA...a kind of...look on whether the grass is greener on the other side.......in marriage and dating. Nobody stays together, everybody breaks up...because they think that relationships are a ground for sex and self service way too much. This place is transient...I think. Not like the Midwest.
So...I think that a lot of people who come here "feel" the vibe....all the actors, dreamers, porn stars, and big wig hot shots who prance.
I'm guilty of that garbage too....it grows on you after so many people do it around you for years, especially if you have struggled with kids and supporting a family and dealt with it. You wanna "prance back"....yeah....that's what it is. Kind of like sticking your tongue out at an archetype of arrogant music producers.....prancing back....."Well, you may have done that 20 years ago jerk....but I just won a Grammy after 20 years of raising kids !"
(evil laugh)....you get tired of it. It would be sooooooo nice to just be around regular down to earth hippie kids from the mid-west and family types who don't get divorced every three minutes.....and IM you for sex....now....when you don't even know the pirates. | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 8/6/2006 8:39:10 PM |
Im originally from San Francisco...but arrived here at age 11 and still think there is something uptight about LA. A lot of people come here from other places who want to be "actors and actresses"...so the ego mayhem is one part of it. We get a lot of narcissistic dreaming here, as well as creative people...
For some reason....there is a kokky paranoia about LA...a kind of...look on whether the grass is greener on the other side.......in marriage and dating. Nobody stays together, everybody breaks up...because they think that relationships are a ground for sex and self service way too much. This place is transient...I think. Not like the Midwest.
So...I think that a lot of people who come here "feel" the vibe....all the actors, dreamers, porn stars, and big wig hot shots who prance.
I'm guilty of that garbage too....it grows on you after so many people do it around you for years, especially if you have struggled with kids and supporting a family and dealt with it. You wanna "prance back"....yeah....that's what it is. Kind of like sticking your tongue out at an archetype of arrogant music producers.....prancing back....."Well, you may have done that 20 years ago jerk....but I just won a Grammy after 20 years of raising kids !"
(evil laugh)....you get tired of it. It would be sooooooo nice to just be around regular down to earth hippie kids from the mid-west and family types who don't get divorced every three minutes.....and IM you for sex....now....when you don't even know the pirates
khrock, I think that you hit the nail right on the head. The bottom line is that most people here in california are from other places with dreams of making it big, only to discovour that it is not un like their very own home town. That , would make me angrey, hostil, and a real **** to boot. Everyone has their breaking limits. Some are just not made up to take putting on a mask daily just so that they do not get hurt, and it imminates through other avenues, hence attitude. I hope that you find who you seek , and that she bring you joy. Everyone deserves to be happy.
Sexy wanda | |
|
| |
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 8/6/2006 11:06:05 PM | You San Diego guys haven't yet noticed you live in a county that has several of the largest military installations in the world? Let loose an additional several hundred thousand eligible men into any city and don't you think your odds slip a bit? The women here seem to have noticed... | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 8/6/2006 11:07:09 PM | Dating in Southern CA is the worst. Trust me your much better off in AZ then So CA. Back East woman and people in general are much cooler and down to earth and dating is whole different experience. But since you are here you should make the most of it. There are a few good ones among the many many bad apples.
Good luck. | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 8/7/2006 8:28:45 AM | My intention was never to defend women who treat men like dirt. My intention was to defend a woman's position regardless of who she is, to look for Mr. Right, in whatever form that may be to her.
If I gave the impression that I was defending women who treat men like dirt, then I apologize for that.
Thanks, KTB!
Of course you have a right to stand up for your principles! Women certainly have the right to try to fnd someone who is good for them! No sense throwing out the baby with the bath water just because a lot of single men are so clueless.
I'm really ashamed of men who act out that way. It is so much sweeter to be with someone who appreciates you and lifts you up than it is to be with someone who degrades you.
So that's another question, I guess, and another thread. Why do guys make those ugly approaches?
All the best,
Robert | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 8/7/2006 8:41:19 AM | | One person put it perfectly. You send an email to a woman, it is respectable and decent and to ever get a reply is like pulling teeth. Worst yet no reply at all. I love the profiles that say "Im open minded and do not judge people" Yeah like that flies....I find alot of women on here are trying to upgrade at the turn of every corner...Never will understand that concept. What ever happened to getting to know someone for who they are not for what they have? | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 8/7/2006 11:50:15 AM |
Why do guys make those ugly approaches?
I think a big part of the problem, is the almost surreal removal of the personal element from the online arena. Some of the things I get in messages, I am positive that no sober man who was not crusing to have his butt kicked would say to me if he saw me in person. It's as if some people feel there is this invisible wall of protection around them and they can say what they are thinking that they would not ordinarily say, with no sense of personal responsibility.
The odd thing is, they seem surprised when people react badly! | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 8/7/2006 12:21:54 PM | Hey now..... I'm 5th generation Calif! You never contacted me! I'm never hostile to anyone who hasn't already put me down. Then I can & do come back in spades.
But, I'm seriously thinking of moving out of SoCal! I've even bought a farm in Missiouri. Most of the people you meet here aren't from here. The ones I've met are from out of the country, in fact.... it just came out that 'Americans' are leaving Calif faster than they're coming in. The population is being held by immigration (legal) from other countries. I plan to leave because the state (which used to be a nice conservitive place to live) has gone over the top liberal. Practically everyone I meet is on the dole in one way or another & looks down on me becuase they think they're on it & I'm not because they're just better at lying to get it than I am. Then there're those who are in the pressure cooker environment (which tends to make one turn stress-nasty) in order to get the $$ to live here.
But.... there are a lot of nice people here, just look for those who are long time residents, those who were here when it was a nice place, but look quick.... we'll be gone out of state before too much longer. I spend a good deal of time out of state already. | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 8/7/2006 2:00:03 PM | I think a big part of the problem, is the almost surreal removal of the personal element from the online arena.
Good point, Mominatrix. People will treat strangers much worse from the safety of their cars than they would walking on the street.
Bad behavior on-line is a little like a drive-by shooting. | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 8/7/2006 2:56:00 PM | | get over it dude. people are people . and you chose to live here in so cal. i dont know why its so hard for you to talk to women but its really not that hard. like me for instance i can basically walk pu to almost any girl and jsut strike up a convo withy her and walk away with a phone number in hand. your problem is you dont know how totalk to women in so cal. this place is alot different then where you come from. you just need to learn how to talk to women here and if you cant then thats your bad luck | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 8/7/2006 3:06:17 PM | Hi Mr. Phoenix, sorry to hear you are getting slammed here in Southern California but to tell you the truth, it doesn't surprise me. Women in San Diego County are sick and tired of the phony guys who contact them but don't want any kind of a committment period. Even when the female hit's it off with them and say they date for a year, the man, or most of them, not saying you would, could care less.
Sure hope this helps you understand why women here are so untrusting. If we care about someone and want to date them, most of us want some kind of a committment.
Thanks for sharing your story. Best regards, Countess Carlottta | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 8/8/2006 7:32:56 PM | | People get murdered everyday and you're surprised that some people behave badly on here? It's called common courtesy, some people have it, some don't. It's just a fact of life. | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 8/9/2006 10:48:31 PM | I think rudeness is a petty and immature character trait but I think Hittman said it best. We get so used to sleeze balls hitting us up that our defenses are automatically up. This is a direct quote from my Yahoo profile.
"If the only thing you can come up with to ask me is, "What sized tits do you have?", I'm sure there are plenty of women out there who would be willing to explore your blatent idiocy. Carry on!!!"
I'm sorry you've come across some rude women! I think ego plays into it as well. Some women get so used to being hit on that they think they're God's gift to everyone. Don't give up, there's still some kind women out there. | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 8/9/2006 11:58:12 PM | | I think you all made great points on human behavior in so cal. For me, I may move out to better job so wont be an issue. Dating is better for single guys in bay area and norcal anyways | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 8/11/2006 8:55:40 PM | | IF WOMEN DONT WANT GUY TREATING THEM LIKE MEET THEY SHOULDNT DRESS THE WAY THEY DO[SOME OF THEM].MEN R DOGS NO MATTER WHAT.IT DOSNT MAKE IT RIGHT BUT WERE DOGS,THERES JUST SOME THAT R DOGGIER THEN OTHERS LOL.I'M NOT A DOG SO I WOULDNT KNOW.I RESPECT WOMEN .I WANT TO BE RESPECTED SO I TREAT THEM THE WAY I WANT TO BE TREATED....LATER ALL | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 8/11/2006 8:58:06 PM | | P.S.,,THERES ALOT OF U WOMEN THAT BEND OVER IN THEPICTURE TO SHOW OFF YOUR NICE BR--TS.....KNOCK IT OF GIRLS AND WE WONT ACT LIKE DOGS | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 8/11/2006 9:02:01 PM | | HEY GUY,WEVE GOT ALOT OF COOL LADY IN THIS AREA.TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND KEEP ON TRYIN...GOODLUCK | |
|
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 8/11/2006 9:04:35 PM | | theres a few profiles with super sexy pics that are obviously fake. i coiuld see those guys writing crappy stuff to u... they r only here to mess with men | |
|
Home
login 
