| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 10/25/2006 9:58:32 AM | | Not only do I get obsene e's from women in SCAL but from man too who find that their woman has been writing to me from this site.wwwwwwwwwwwwwwhy can't people just be honest on here. I play in a band and we have done some dates down south and I refuse to play down there again.People are just rude down there.Must be something in the water!!! | |
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AnnMF
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Joined: 3/31/2006
Msg: 102 | |
| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 10/25/2006 4:27:25 PM | | I'm sorry this happened to you. I think anytime you are close to or in any large city this will happen (more often than from further distances). I also agree with another poster who said to try looking further outside city limits as well. And I agree about being patient. Hope you have some successs in the future. | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 10/25/2006 4:56:40 PM | I make it a rule not to boy bash but I am very careful with my heart because I must have an "I date jerks" logo plastered to my forehead.lol. Anyway girls can be just as much of a creep as boys can so dont give up. There are some nice ones out there if you're willing to fish.
-Gina | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 10/26/2006 11:16:28 PM | I am sorry your first encounter in the Golden State was anything but golden. I'm a native Californian - 5th generation - and I'm not that way. True, things have changed since I was a little girl. I remember walking down the street and people always acknowledged one another, and we would talk about how rude Easterners were.
I suppose I can relate because I'm a minority, not thin, beautiful, rich or famous, and for those reasons I've been the object of many nasty remarks, and not just from Calif. guys.
Keep a stiff upper lip, ask God to bless those rude people, and move on.
Take care and good luck. | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 10/27/2006 3:33:14 AM | | shondale thats not completely true...i messaged you. but I have talked to a few women from Southern calif, they seem interested we have nice conversations everything goes great...then suddenly out of the blue they stop tlaking to you, and your emails to them go "unread deleted" and you never have any idea why | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 10/29/2006 1:41:56 AM | Just my two cents here. I think socal is a bit of both of what everyone says. Net dating is anonymous and anonymity breeds Arrogance and Bullsh*t. You have to weed through the crap but eventually you'll find what you're looking for-if not here, try another site.
As for cities...from person experience...its ALL the same. Big cities breed materialism. I've worked in large cities in PA, FL then CA. You may find it more rampant in SoCal because of the staggering amount of people who live between the Grapevine and SDiego. The population alone in SoCal is more than some entire states. With that many people you'll find more of the worst, just by sheer numbers.
I'm a transplant, 10+ yrs but I love it here. CA is a whole different planet than the rest of the country. I actually moved here to get AWAY from rampant materialism in the tristate area - NY, NJ & PA. But I'm up in the mtns where the nearest store is 20 miles, one of those "nice country gals." lol
But don't give up on the internet. It increases the odds of finding someone by hundreds if not thousands, something only possible for the military before the net. ;) I'm a Net Vet from the Archie and Veronica days, met my late husband way back on a DOD bulletin board most likely before y'all ever heard of a pc. He flew cross the damn country to meet me and we spent a lot of happy years together. If it weren't for the internet, I'd never of met him. So, in the end, it IS worth it. | |
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| FYI Mr Phoenix
Posted: 10/29/2006 2:39:55 AM | I remember back in the '70s and '80s when women's groups were big and they declared "women's spaces" in various venues and internet forums. Boy there were a lot of idiot males who tried to jump in and argue just like you did now. I was ashamed of them, but it's understandable. It's hard to face criticism of stereotypical behavior that you just might be guilty of without being fully aware of it.
FYI here...there were NO Internet Forums in the 70's & 80's. Pc's & the internet began in the 90's. Before then pc's were high priced toys for hackers and geeks; the DOD, colleges and businesses were all that could afford them or had the people with programming skills to use them. Bulletin boards are the closest thing you can relate to an "internet forum" and they didn't begin until the early 80's. And it would take a rather large stretch of the imagination to call those early BB's internet forums where "women's groups were big and declared women's spaces" until about 85.
Next time do some homework. | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 10/29/2006 6:53:19 AM | Search for women in rural areas? Does this mean women that have less choices and are desperate?
Having lived in Southern California and in rural America (not at the same time obviously), I don't think Gregg was saying go where women are desperate and have fewer choices. There is a major cultural difference. Even in Academia the hostility level in Southern California was intense compared to say Montana where things largely remained collegial. In Rural America talking to each other, even to strangers, is not considered threatening. In Southern California saying hello is often perceived as a possible prelude to a stick up or a rape. In Montana, it was saying hello and generally was followed by some discussion of the weather, the economy, the new pothole on main street, the best local fishing hole, the quality of the new sandwich being served at the diner or some other such polite conversation.
And while there are fewer choices in rural America there are also fewer people competing for those choices. In terms of competition there may very well be MORE options per capita there although less diversity in options. | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 10/29/2006 7:08:45 AM |
It is after all, the lan d of silicon.
Ummm. I suspect the people in Silicon Valley (NOT in SoCal) will out do any rage found in Southern California towards anyone making such a major geographical faux paux.
Oh. ..... You mean that silicon.
Sorry,
Carry on. | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 10/29/2006 8:48:46 AM | Wow Robert.
Right on the money for using the word "hostile" to describe SoCal people. It has been my experience since I moved here 2 years ago that they have it all, good weather, nice area to live, live in nice homes, have good jobs but are all so unhappy and moody.
I am an older POF woman and have met (who I thought) were very nice people. Men can be bald, old, fat, and very ugly but are out there looking for a women who is a 10.
I moved here from a state that judges you on not what you look like but how you enjoy life, approach each day as a new challange, smile at your neighbor and say hello. People here move over on the street when you say hello.
Just recently I talked to a man on here who has my values, smiles, likes people and enjoys being alive. We are going to meet soon and I am confident that we are going to be a team. BINGO. Anna | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 10/29/2006 11:38:14 AM |
I moved here from a state that judges you on not what you look like but how you enjoy life, approach each day as a new challange, smile at your neighbor and say hello. People here move over on the street when you say hello.
That's a little unrealistic. An entire state that's so kind and thoughtful and friendly? Please... I take it you've never walked down a street in New York City where they don't move to the other side of the street, they just knock you out of the way. Or Phila, perhaps where you'll get your watch ripped off your wrist by someone in the crosswalk while you're waiting at a stop light?
Like I said, it's Everywhere, there's good and bad in every state and every city. | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 10/29/2006 3:52:04 PM | The only state that I haven't experienced severe rudeness and at the beginning I felt like I was in the twilight zone was Washington State, they're even courteous with their driving and they actually say hello in grocery stores or elevators, etc. After being there for 7 months, I was shocked at how horrible people are here and I'm not in So-Cal, I'm in little ole' Las Vegas! =) My family is in Cali and man, my family there is becoming more and more like NY'rs, LoL.
Ciao ~ Gina | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 2/26/2007 9:12:08 AM | WELCOME TO CALIFORNIA HUN.....the guys here are just as hostile as the women....and most are the REASON we're so damned hostile.  | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 2/26/2007 11:09:37 AM | Mr. P.
You know I have been on here for like 1 year. I know exactly what you are saying. I MIGHT send a message here and there but rarely waste my time. The bottom line the way I see it is if you are decent looking and have a real job you are on the wrong site LOL
Seriously I haven't even been given the time of day by some major dogs on here and oh well their loss. I like the 80's because women seemed smarter and knew what a real man was all about. Nowadays, it's all about being a dirtbag (that is what actually turns them on). End of story. | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 6/26/2007 4:56:03 PM | | It's a vicious circle but, there can winners from both sides believe it or not. Dating is something you really can't be lazy about. [u]If you want quality, you have be quality (as best as you can be)[/u]. I want the best that I can get out there. I'm in this for the long run. If it's sex you want, go to the (dating) sex sites. If you want a sugar daddy, go to the sugar daddy sites. GET REAL PEOPLE, if you want a real relationship. Relationships take work and you can't be lazy. I think "committal" type people get peeved when non committal people go for them because they get lied to and led on for a period of time. This hurts and people start building walls to protect themselves and love can't be found because your too afraid to be yourself. Let the games begin. | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 6/27/2007 12:10:26 AM | mr phoenix that is why in this site you can send a kiss or a smack ha ha so feel free to smack away if neccesary  | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 6/27/2007 1:02:36 AM | WHO'S HOSTILE?!?
Just SHUT UP! 
Dear God, if I see another rehashed "California women are bad' post I am gonna hork. | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 6/27/2007 8:19:05 AM | I was just about to reply in the same way as you cooky.
Give the stereotypes a freakin' rest already. Blah blah blah, She wont respond to me.. So its just GOTTA be a So Cal thing! Yeah, thats it! Ill just blame it on the stereotypical fake boobed, fake n bake airheaded southern california women! Cause I really dont want to point that finger at me! Its all them. Them I tell you!! (  ) | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 6/27/2007 8:28:58 PM | | Thanks Wreckless1. I might also add one more thing here. I AM AN ORIGINAL NATIVE HERE in So Cal for 48 years. I would be willing to bet that 90% of you out there aren't and I would win that bet. Why are you out of staters trashing the So Cal people? We natives are a mellow lot (normally) but, have had to adapt to you people and the issues you brought with you. You act like your a native when you aren't. Living here for 20+ years still doesn't make you a native. BORN HERE MAKES YOU A NATIVE. Everybody needs to calm down. So Cal has way too many people in it and we're all acting like too many rats in a small cage (me included). This is not good and we're all at each others throats and it's NOT getting any better. | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 6/28/2007 9:34:24 AM |
I don't think the women see it as payback. I think women are getting leery, and tired of being treated like meat.
giggles...My idea man is a virgin | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 6/28/2007 3:43:37 PM | Hostile??
I find in mist cases if your friendly others will be freindly in return unless you just happen to run into that rare person who has a chip on their shoulder | |
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| Why so hostile in SoCal
Posted: 7/1/2007 4:33:32 PM | Perhaps those city gals have a harsher edge? I don't know. I'm sorry to hear that you have been treated harshly. It might help to remember that people do tend to have hostile guards up in a city of millions of people. Try not to take it to heart.
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