| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 3/6/2005 2:32:35 PM | Hi there are lots and lots of people in the same situation as yu! what yu have too do is pick yure'self up! shake yure'self down! and move on with yur'e life! otherwise yu won't survive!
believe yu me i know what i am talking about! i have been there got the blooming tee shirt too.when my marriage fell apart i went too pieces! just like yu! and just really wanted too go too sleep and not wake up! but yu have too face it and be strong! and if yu look at it like that yu will be a survivor like me and many others good luck too yu Gemini | |
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 3/8/2005 11:03:55 AM | Hi Scott,
I was married for 24 yrs.I got married at 17 and only after meeting my ex in 5 days.We had 3 boys our middle son Kevin only lived 3 months.Our yongest son has diabilities and that was really hard for both of us.We did not have the greates marriage.He was abusive but I was in for better or worse sicknes and health until death.He left me for a nother woman and I thought I was going to die.We have been divorced 8 yrs now and we talk nearly everyday becauce of our kids and grandson.He hasn't changed much over the years but I have.Now when he call and starts his crap I can hang up.I had never lived by my self until my youngest son had to be placed out of my home.You talk about lonliness God I would just do nothing but lay around and read.But I made it and I know you will to.....Just hang in there and time does help get out and volinterr it helped me.......Take care.......
Michelle | |
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 3/8/2005 11:35:34 AM | | I can only look forward to two years from this day. I can beat loneliness, it's the heartbreak that cooks my goose."where we used to laugh there's a shouting match, sharp as a thumbnail scratch. a silence i can't ignore like the hammock by the doorway that swings empty, we spent time in, i don't see lightning like last fall. when it was always about to hit me . I wonder hows it going to be , when you don't know me. how's it going to be . when you know I'm not there. hows it going to be when you find out there was nothing between you and me . hows it going to be?" | |
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dypt
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Joined: 1/15/2005
Msg: 29 | |
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dypt
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Joined: 1/15/2005
Msg: 30 | |
| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 3/8/2005 11:58:09 AM | | there are days when light shines throught and you leap out of bed to challenge the day.the world is your oyster. as the day progresses, subtle happenings around you, landmarks,songs on the radio or just thoughts drifting around your head. remind you of a shadow ,where the love runs deeper than ever. the scar across that imaginary heart from time to time, cracks and bleeds.what doesn't kill you ,makes you stronger.its been two years and i've felt that i've been dying a little bit everyday. my biggest fear in life is to grow old, bitter and lonely.scares the hell out of me. in the truest sense we are always alone. we are individuals.born solitary, into the arms of unconditional love. when i die i would like to know that i shared deep with someone and loved again unconditionaly | |
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 3/8/2005 12:26:51 PM | ^that was a nice post dypt
and i believe you will find your other half. Maybe not today, maybe not tommorrow...but it's better to wait, than to settle with the one who only fills the gap. There is much more than a gap that needs to be filled...and in time you will find her, or she will find you.
Sometimes being alone is not such a bad thing...and finding that happiness within yourself, is far much more important than finding it in someone else. | |
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 3/8/2005 12:34:48 PM | I can understand where everyone is coming from i dated someone that became my friend first then became something more. we were together for 3 yrs. and we had good and bad times. we broke up maybe because he was younger and his family and friends was always in our business. i can understand lone said about people say love will find u but don't it need alittle help sometimes. it is hard being alone sometimes | |
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 3/8/2005 12:46:57 PM | Scott
If you want the rollercoaster ride to stop, you may need to jump out, and use your feet for brakes.
The world can be a very harsh place, I've had women to things to me that are best suited to the Jerry Springer show, and they were no doubt treated like gold by me.
however.....thats 2 chicks out of what? a billion? There are so many amazing women out there it defies description, and you sound like a down to earth solid enough guy to be running into one when you least expect it to.
So for now.....fight for what you want as best you can!
You want your kids? go get em. If your story is true that she did the leaving, and moved theo ther fella in, and if you are as much of a good guy as I believe you are, you have rights to your children, and deserve to be a part of their lives. Maybe your financial situation sucks, and you can't get a lawyer I don;t know, so if thats it get your butt off to the library, and figure out your rights.
You want your sanity?.....my best advice is hit the gym. you'll have more clarity, and energy, and if you keep at it your life will change. I ran through the body for life program(book by Bill Phillips) and beneath the bombardment of commercialised fitness it is a solid way to go (if you'ree interested) and really effective if you stick to it. Therapists are all fine & dandy but I'm a strong beliver in self sufficiency so go find that self.
Theres only one person garanteed to be with you the rest of your life YOU! so take care of that special person.
I've definitely found that life never works out as intended, and my awful times have finished up in good learning experiences, and a stronger me after the dust has settled. So as soon as your done reading ths, go rent all the Die hard movies, crack a cold one, pet the dog (if you don't have a dog or cat get one tomorrow), and fall asleep to a hail of bullets, and Bruce Willis. When you wake up tomorrow, start the day as if it were on purpose, hit the gym, go for a run whatever (both is good). You've been strong for this long, and now is no time to go under, pull your sh*ttogether, and shape oyur life, it's easier than one thinks once they pass the fear of doing so.
Let your past influence you and learn from it, but by no means should it dictate you.
And when you meet that awesome girl I've been telling you about, the appreciation you will have for her will move mountains, and the shitty time you've had will be a walk in the park for the stronger you.
God bless
Tristan | |
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 3/8/2005 12:57:15 PM | scott, i agree with tristan , u need to start by taking care of yourself and go about life getting what u want. be strong there is only one of u
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 3/10/2005 12:30:02 PM | I thank you all for being so understanding, but I think this loneliness is going away. I'm learning new things and getting myself involved with a local group here in Des Moines that does a lot of research. Of course, that's another story in itself...:) I am learning how to be positive about the things that I currently have in life. First of all, my kids mean the world to me and they have faith in me that I will rise above the ashes. That matters more to me than anything. I just have to keep myself busy and take one thing at a time. I will get there friends...I know it.... | |
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 8/8/2007 3:08:21 PM | wow.... just clicking around and read your reply to this mans forum.
I thought your reply was true, deep and well written.
Loliness is and can be very difficult.... I think especially for people like he who lost so much due to someone elses control.
And on top if you do not have a large or close family.........
Gotta keep your head up.
soxx | |
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 8/8/2007 3:39:09 PM | Scott
Was married for aprox. 35 fantastic years by any reasonable standards.
Finally it is beginning to dawn on me part of the difficulty of "Moving On" lies with I suspect we SHARED our very IDENTIES with that person!!
It appears that void is what makes us feel we are in quicksand grasping at anything trying to make sense of it all.
We have to reinvent ourselves, it seems our only salvation.
Someone suggested its an opportunity to start anew.
Get a motorcycle, pile on some crap, point it toward the horizon, open the throttle and see where it leads you. DONT LOOK BACK !
Be REBORN !
"The world is your oyster"
ps. Don't ride naked, the bugs sting like hell ! | |
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 8/8/2007 3:41:47 PM | | Sorry to say: welcome to the club. I can now say i understand how it feels when the ground is disappearing under ur feet, when it feels like u cant breathe when nothing matters to you anymore. I can relate to all of that now. | |
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 5/13/2009 3:03:23 PM | Scott,
I'm not gonna try to pretend that I completely understand what you are going through but I am really good at transcending myself into another person's shoes. I can tell you that I honestly feel for you and it is stories like yours that leave a young man like myself willing to never marry for fear of having my life, my heart, and my children (i'm tearing up) ripped away from me by some adulterous wench.
Let me reassure you of something that another man told me, a mentor of mine; he too was in your shoes and proved to me that this actually happens.
Right now, you are unhappy and she is happy. The minute you let go and begin to live again, something universally unexplained happens...She will become unhappy, and even worse, she will be punished by herself. She will lose her looks and her charm. She will become old and bitter and people will slowly move away from her. She will continue to pretend that all is well but the poison has already taken affect you need only move on to trigger it, then watch it devour her soul. Its unavoidable and will happen regardless. You don't have to believe me but you will see it in your lifetime.
When one person seriously f*cks with the life and love of another, there are serious reprecussions.
Devine intervention. | |
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 5/14/2009 8:46:16 AM | Yes loneliness is the destroyer,, it's such a shame that people have such a hard time finding someone to love,, I truly think that's a sin :( everyone deserves to have there feelings respected,, I hope things work out for you, I don't know if this will help you but I have a great story for ya,
My Bro married someone he thought was the love of his life, they knew each other for years and were together for about 5, she was a real pretty too lol they had one child together, and one day my Bro's wife cheated on him,, and the other guy tried to say the child was his,, my bro divorced his wife, found out the child was still his so that was a battle for the courts,,
my big Bro was feeling just like you are now, so he came on a online dating site, and found someone :) and he married that someone too lol she is a surgeon, loyal, beautiful and way better than his last wife lol they have one child together and love each other very much,, there was a happy ending :)
I pray you find a woman with great qualities as-well, and maybe I will be lucky and find a great woman too, I posted on this thread because I am heat broken also, but that's another story lol :( | |
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 5/14/2009 9:25:04 AM | Hey Scott, I didn't know there was double of me out there ! I've beeen separated for three years & divorced for almost one year. Although my ex didn't leave me for someone else, everything else is the same. I lost it all too ! My kids,The farm (literally),my job due to an accident at work over seven years ago,& am now awaiting Permanent Total Disability & S.S.. Have had five back surgeries & a pain pump implant & nothing has helped ! Things were looking up as I rekindled a relationship with my Jr. High thru High school sweetheart that is the mother of my first & wonderful son. Things were going fairly well as this took place of my ex, & all of a sudden.............out of nowhere ........Bam ! Another Hit ! She says she wants me in her life, just not the way I want her in it ! What the hell is that suppose to mean ? I made that womans life a breeze to live ! I took care of it all ! W.T.F.??? I've been & still am the one that looks at the Oak tree across the Field every morning wondering..... will today be the day ?? If it weren't for my children...... I'd be gone. I'm sorry, I don't have any advise for you..... Just wanted you to know brother... You are not alone ! Better days have to be ahead ! Why do women do us men soo wrong ?  L.A. | |
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 5/14/2009 2:35:31 PM | I know what you are going thru. I left my husband last August after 26 years of marriage. I was so tired of all the cheating and lying. The deception was just too much. I'm not sure if I could ever trust another man, but my kids tell me I should try. I have been alone since I left and it sucks.
Yes, Scott miracles can and do happen. Keep the faith.
Patti | |
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 5/14/2009 10:01:00 PM | Lonliness can break the spirit, thats for sure.
But one good woman, that one unconditional love thats out there waiting, searching, looking for YOU will make all your going thru worthwhile. She will waltz into your life someday, the clouds will lift and the sun will shine once again. She will show you why it never worked out with anyone else before her.
Now, do you want her to "give up" cause she's tired and no longer believes in miracles? Or do you want her to keep searching for you?
Love hopes where reason despairs.
Keep hope alive. | |
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 5/14/2009 10:33:52 PM | | listen yes look for love because then u can find someone who u know about and know what they like and stuff and by telling them about what happen to you they will know u don't want that and hopefully you won't get that again i'm very sorry for you but things can't really get any worse so look on the bright side that means it will start to get better like you will get disabitly and then u will have money for a place and then you will feel better about yourself and then you will find love but in the mean time i'm here to talk maybe we can talk and help each other heal gail | |
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 5/14/2009 10:34:00 PM | | listen yes look for love because then u can find someone who u know about and know what they like and stuff and by telling them about what happen to you they will know u don't want that and hopefully you won't get that again i'm very sorry for you but things can't really get any worse so look on the bright side that means it will start to get better like you will get disabitly and then u will have money for a place and then you will feel better about yourself and then you will find love but in the mean time i'm here to talk maybe we can talk and help each other heal gail | |
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| Lonliness is the Destroyer...
Posted: 5/15/2009 9:40:42 AM | So sorry this happened, Scott, but a new sweetie might be just around the corner...maybe look for someone who is COMPLETELY different (personality-wise) from your ex. Try not to get mad and develop a hard heart. It's difficult, I know.
Meanwhile, do what exercise you can, what your doctors say is OK. A little "self-love" is in order...meet some "brothers" at the gym...there are all kinds of love, and some male buddies might be just what the doctor ordered. | |
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