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Posted: 7/10/2006 6:34:16 AM | ^^^ well said.....can't anyone have a comment without bringing std's into it? lol I mean sheese. I think when u are regularily safe, and U are smart about things, you never have to bring it up because it is taken care of, when people constantly bring it up it makes you wonder about the people they associate with on a daily basis in their dating lives......dating has become too "clinical" these days and it's sad.......being aware about it is one thing, putting it before every other natural thought is another.
And sleeping with someone does not mean there is an emotional attatchment like someone said, she should just evaluate where "she thinks it may go" with the one guy, but if she is thinking on sleeping with another than that is different at that point. But if you continue to sleep with one guy and date another for awhile, than u should at some point make up your mind about what you want......and be fair to both.....that is why they call it
DAT(ing) plural..........meaning more than 1 lol
but when sleeping withone comes into play at some point u should make a choice.... | |
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| clairification
Posted: 7/10/2006 7:54:36 AM | Ya know what, libragrl...I think you are right....we are laying down a double standard here on you...not fair at all.....the more I try to search for truth - not the Politically Correct or MORAL response - in how to answer this question, for you and for myself, I have to give you a high-five for knowing yourself, what you want, and what your limitations are. I asked myself: If I was kinda sorta seeing someone, been out once or twice (given that I also work shift work, and wouldn't have the option of seeing someone every day,or even every week with any regularity), and had already been fooling around (like you said, stuff happens), and then, one night, say at a company picnic or night out with my friends, you fool around with someone else....maybe you know them/work with them or its a total stranger....do I really need to feel guilty about either encounter?? Do I really need to stop myself in the heat of it all and tell the other young lady "Y'know, miss....This isn't my first BJ this month...that okay with you?" Who the hell would? And do I go home feeling all tragic and bent out of shape over it? Hell No!! Who the hell would?? Do I feel obligated to tell the other person I'm seeing that it just so happened to work out that I got some without her? WTF????
OP - you go girl! Single is Single, and until one of them proposes or asks you to move in with them, or until you actually start feeling guilt, which is when that stupid thing (lol) called LOVE kicks in, you enjoy every minute...celebrate your singleness, your independance, your freedom to choose. Man or Woman, Single is Single, you owe nobody nothing. Get'R'Done! | |
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| clairification
Posted: 7/10/2006 8:04:22 AM | I would say depends on each of the other two. Perhaps they might like to share time or even join in together  | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/10/2006 8:54:00 AM | I don't think there is anything wrong with dating more then one person at a time.......... until you meet the one that you mutually chose to become exclusive.
Dating more then one person... OK
UNTIL you become sexual with one......
For me... I can't be seuxually intimate with one person and continue to date others.....
It seems like cheating.....
I think most women attach emotions to sex........ (I said most)
With the evolution of friends with benefits...... there's a whole new door! (not one I really want to walk though) | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/10/2006 10:19:17 AM | If there is true potential for something serious with one of the people you are dating and decide to start sleeping with them, you need to let the others know you are off the market.
Or keep them all as booty calls...lol | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 10/6/2006 11:12:10 AM | A lot of guys have the jealous thing going on. Right? She should'nt tell of any of her sexuall activities unless there is a danger of STDs. This could haunt the marrige or relationship for the duration. Here is the what their spats sound like; Oh yeh ;well you were sleeping around while we were dating. can you fathom;70 years old and having to here that crap in front of your grown grandkids.I've seen it first hand. When I find MS right;I don't care if she was with the prince of polish penis. It's none of my business. Wade | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 10/6/2006 3:09:24 PM | Nothing wrong with dating several at once until you have met someone who stands out from them all, and you will need to stand out for her as well...to be casually dating to me means going out with a few to get to know them better. How else would one do it?
Of course you will know that the other is also dating. Jealousy is a sure sign of insecurity issues, which I run from if I discover any jealously going on. That is always helpful, because it thins out the prospects a bit anyway.
If dating activities have progressed to the point of sex...I would say that if you are having sex with someone there is commitment, and definitely be exclusive at that point.
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 10/6/2006 3:36:58 PM | | everyone is different. Personally i wouldnt be sleepin with someone when im seeing someone else... id have to be honest with myself and think ... wow! i guess i really like the guy im having sex with since we're having sex... guess im not too interested in dude #2 :( but thats me... hope u figure it out | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 10/18/2006 7:25:19 PM | i take the same view as coastergal in msg29
*If your not seriously dating one person, but seeing a couple people, getting to know them, is it wrong to have sex with one of them, and not tell the other if your not having sex with him?
only wrong if you continue to date person no.1 the same while your with person no.2 and sex is invloved.
*And if things progress with person number 2, when should you cut off one of them?
as soon as sex gets in the question.
*things have all gotten blurry once the pre-marital sex started, some men take their d**** out to f*** as if they were handshakes, sorry gentlemen, its not a gender attack, i guess some women are the same...? so, whats right or wrong really depends on ones ground of morals. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 10/31/2007 5:18:16 PM | | Nothing wrong with dating more than one guy. Just don't sleep with more than one guy. Be faithful to one. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 10/31/2007 7:46:30 PM | Everybody on here seem to be concerned about multiples, I'm still trying to find one!  | |
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| clairification
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:09:25 PM | There is a huge problem in Edmonton with College age men and women and STD's for that very reason. They are trying to address it now. It is not paranoia, it is that reality.
If I get involved sexually, it would definitely have to be exclusive. I know many that date frequently that do not have casual sex unless they make some sort of commitment first. I do not think that is wrong to date to get to know someone or more than one person without having sex.
I have met quite a few that have sexual relationships with more than one person while dating. Things have changed a lot since I was young, it is the 21st century and values have changed a lot. Dating means a lot of differ things to people and require clarification.
However, it is not normally my style to date more than one because I would get too confused by that process and end up hurting someone. I prefer to go out with someone about 4 or 5 times and if it is working out then I prefer to not date others as I know I want to explore that dating relationship further. However, since everybody is different and have different values or understandings, I believe it needs to be dicussed so both are on the same page, at least that is what I have learned. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:24:17 PM | This is just my personal opinion.. If you are just dating.. then fine date all the people you want to.. If you become intimate with someone then you owe it to the person you are intimate with the honesty that you are dating other people. If you are being intimate with more than one person.. You owe it to both people to tell them the truth.. How would you feel if you were on the other end of that??
If everyone is fine with all of it.. More power to all of you.. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:31:21 PM | If you have a conscience, then yes this is a wrong thing to do. (Not a personal cut in any means. Strictly hypothetical)
You are dating or seeing two guys and you get intimate with one, it is basically cheating.
Rational being... The second guy (one you are not sleeping with) is under the assumption that there may be something developing between the two of you.
Guy number 1 now has reason to believe that your relationship has now entered "the next level".
I like the other post.... if I were dating you and a few other women, and slept with one of them, would you appreciate it...would you continue dating me?
The concept is, to try to put yourself in the other persons shoes. Would he think it was cheating.... even if he knew that you were not explicitly together at this point?
I am sure if you found out that one of the guys was sleeping with another woman you would be heaving him to the curb. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 10/31/2007 9:18:34 PM | hmm..........everybody is pretty negative on the multiple dating thing, especially if sex is involved and that's perfectly fine. My opinion is be honest with everybody involved, if everyone is ok with it then there shouldn't be a problem. My own experience............I've had as many as 3 fwb's at the same time, BUT all three of the women I was having sex with knew that I was having sex with the other 2. They also knew before I had sex with them that I was having sex with others, and told them that unless they were ok with that then not to go there. But they were ok with it anyway. No, these girls were not easy or slutty, they were actually pretty conservative but the fact that I was honest with them upfront made all the difference. I've had more than one fwb's for the last 14 years and I've not had any problems so far. A few of these fwb's lasted more than 5 years. My life is an open book to everyone involved. Honesty folks!!!!!!!!! It'll take you a long way..................... | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 10/31/2007 9:35:54 PM | hmm well this is a toughy... I am currently just playing the field and seeing if anything feels right. So far there have been a few good feelings haha. Um to tell you the truth if I became serious to the point of date three with any of the women/men I was dating I would call things off with everyone else. About having sex... well I agree with the person that said that you sleeping with person A means you're also sleeping with all of A's passed sexual relationships (ew) and may be contracting an std or stds, it would be smart to tell everyone else that you're dating that you've slept with person A, but then again if you're just getting to know them, then why are you sleeping together?
Just curious/ Hope this helps- Sun  | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 10/31/2007 10:08:21 PM | | That would complicate things. Just make out with them or whatever. No need to have sex ASAP. take your time! | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 11/1/2007 9:24:44 AM | | Just my opinion: If your dating more then one person at a time & enough times that your having sex with them,your likely not giving anyone a real chance cuz your leaving your options to open. The end reasult is that your not seriously looking for someone in your life,your just looking for playmate's. I know,I've been there... | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 11/2/2007 4:30:36 AM | | Papabear is right. How can you remember who does what, said what, etc if there is a harem. I will share my toys, share my cookies, but I don't share my man. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 11/2/2007 5:15:01 AM | Tricky question lol
Hmmm
Ok ive pondered and still dont have answer cos the answer is yes it is ok in a way but then if u get with person 2 do u ever say "by the way hun u know we were goin out for a month or two before we slept together well i was datin someone at same time but couldnt decide which one of ya i wanted so i slept with him but then i got with you. You dont mind that do ya??" lol
I think if your datin a coupl and you genuinly like them in an ideal world youd sleep with neither.
I have and do multiple date but soon as i sleep with one thats it game over.
Basically its deceit. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 11/2/2007 6:12:34 AM |
This is just my personal opinion.. If you are just dating.. then fine date all the people you want to.. If you become intimate with someone then you owe it to the person you are intimate with the honesty that you are dating other people. If you are being intimate with more than one person.. You owe it to both people to tell them the truth..
^ Agreed. I was in a situation where I was dating someone with no commitment but as soon as I realized casual dating for him involved sex with other women, I couldn't be around him anymore. I used to think I was too harsh because we were both seeing other people, I didn't have the right to judge his decisions. But I did try dating him again (several times) and the thought of dating someone - even casually - who is having sex with other women is gross and RISKY. Sex should be saved for when you have feelings for someone and you're not treating your vagina like a 24/7 bodega, anyone can drop in at any time to get whatever they need. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 11/2/2007 7:10:16 AM | for me.... once I have had sex with someone it goes one of two ways:
I get out of that relationship
I want to see how far that relationship will go
So for me to be causually dating, it means that I am not casually sleeping arround, just makes me feel like less of a jerk, thats all | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 11/2/2007 7:13:38 AM | | Some of you people come up with the weirdest shit to discuss on a DATING website. Lets talk about how we like to have multiple dates lined up while we are on this dating site. YEAH!!! Good Idea!!! That will get you some | |
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